KOE Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) My first thought was like Aussielover said, maybe don't say that you want the dog for your son. Can I ask why you would not say this if it is the case The poster is telling the truth to the breeder/s which it should be, if she didnt tell it as it was and got on here later and said she actually got the dog for her son half of you would be up in arms that she didnt state tht in the beginning. It is apparent the poster doesnt want a Labrador or a Beagle she wants a mini foxi. So to the poster if you want a mini foxi get one. If a breeder doesnt want to sell a puppy they only need to say no but why try and tell the applicant to get a different breed, the mind boggles Edited October 1, 2011 by KOE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncarter Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 cant you wait until the child is a bit older and more responsible? he is only 3 isnt he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weasels Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Perhaps she has had problems with similar situations in the past? One of my dogs was previously adopted and returned by a family with an autistic child. On the return report it said the dog had bitten the child twice. Now this dog has his faults, but he is one of the least aggressive fellas i've ever met. Either it was mouthing in play that was misinterpreted, or the kid just couldn't read the signs and pushed the dog past his limit. Either way this dog ended up back in a shelter. You seem to be very concientous and feel confident in your son's interactionns, so I'm not trying to liken this to your situation. I'm just suggesting perhaps this lady has heard/been involved in similar situations which have affected her view. Of course since she didn't explain her position we may never know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moodychick Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Perhaps she has had problems with similar situations in the past? One of my dogs was previously adopted and returned by a family with an autistic child. On the return report it said the dog had bitten the child twice. Now this dog has his faults, but he is one of the least aggressive fellas i've ever met. Either it was mouthing in play that was misinterpreted, or the kid just couldn't read the signs and pushed the dog past his limit. Either way this dog ended up back in a shelter. You seem to be very concientous and feel confident in your son's interactionns, so I'm not trying to liken this to your situation. I'm just suggesting perhaps this lady has heard/been involved in similar situations which have affected her view. Of course since she didn't explain her position we may never know Thanks Weasels. This is why we are investigating all of our options at the moment, and will not just buy any dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moodychick Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 I would like to thank all of you for your replies and personal messages in helping me to understand this situation a little better. It is MUCH appreciated that you have all taken the time to read my post, and to reply as to what may have been a part of the problem. I know all breeders aren't like this, as i have spoken to some lovely people over the last few weeks, i just wanted to try and understand a little more what may have gone wrong. Your assistance is appreciated, and please rest assured that we will not buy a puppy until we find one that is right for the whole family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 There are other small terriers I would recommend to families with children before a tentie - JRT is one and also Smooth Fox Terrier - they seem to be able to deal with life a bit better than most of the tenties I know - though I know tenties who are great with kids, I think for your situation you might be better off with something a bit more bomb proof. If you decide on a tentie my advice is to do your research, meet several relatives and avoid any puppies that show obvious signs of nervousness. Good luck with your search Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Probably worth mentioning that mousing instinct is very strong in tenties / mini foxies and most JRT - you will need to keep your rats well away - they are very fast operators! and very committed to their job (mine would go absolutely nuts living in a house with rodents - he is obsessive about hunting them) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayle. Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 She did listen, she heard what you were saying and made a decision based on the information you provided. Unfortunately it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Mini foxies and Tenterfield terriers are tiny dogs, maybe she was worried a puppy would be hurt by your boisterous, hyperactive son. Maybe consider a more robust breed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 It's a pity you aren't in Sydney... we have a lovely female Foxy pup in rescue who absolutely adored playing with my friend's young children - one of whom has quite profound Asperger's. Feel free to PM me if you are interested in talking to us about Matilda the Foxy pup - we can do interstate adoptions... T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandgrubber Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) Some people don't listen. It's usually easier to move on than to convince someone who doesn't want to hear. I breed Labbies and have fielded many questions from people with autistic kids. I hope I've generally responded kindly and am more inclined to say yes than no. But, have to say, it's complicated. Some kids seem more to need something to hug and learn that it's ok to touch . . . and generally develop sympathetic responses. Some kids need a dog that can withstand rough play (no malice, but also, not much empathy) and hyperactivity without striking back at the kid. With a 3 yr old, I imagine you're still figuring out the child's unfolding personality. It may be useful, both to you, and to people who you might approach to sell you a pup or adult dog, to outline the way you envision your son interacting with 'his' dog. btw, Labs are often recommended because many (not all) of them are bomb proof. They tend to have high pain thresholds, high bite inhibition, strong ability to take cues from human body language, and a sort of broody/nurturing nature. This may not be the best thing for your son. But I think it brings up traits you need to consider in choosing a companion to help your son through early development. Edited October 1, 2011 by sandgrubber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuddleDuck Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 There is an organization called righteous pups which does work with placing therapy dogs with people who have a disability that falls into the autistic spectrum. Their website is Here I have a very good friend who's son is severly autistic and she adopted a 'failed' guide dog into the family for him. The lab doesn't have the steady and calm nature going well enough to be trusted to be a guide dog but has the training and temperament to make him ideal for the situation he is in. If you wanted to research a larger dog I would suggest contacting guide dogs and assistance dogs Australia about adopting a 'failed' dog. Also (slightly OT) you may really enjoy reading "a friend called Henry" by Nuala Gardner. It's a lovely book about a golden retriever that helps unlock an autistic boy's world. Good luck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakway Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 She did listen, she heard what you were saying and made a decision based on the information you provided. Unfortunately it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Mini foxies and Tenterfield terriers are tiny dogs, maybe she was worried a puppy would be hurt by your boisterous, hyperactive son. Maybe consider a more robust breed? +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 She did listen, she heard what you were saying and made a decision based on the information you provided. Unfortunately it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Mini foxies and Tenterfield terriers are tiny dogs, maybe she was worried a puppy would be hurt by your boisterous, hyperactive son. Maybe consider a more robust breed? +1 +2 Dont under estimate the breeder's knowledge of what will make a good combination - she is saying better to consider another breed and that might be a good idea - not just for the sake of the dog but for the sake of the child. I dont think its as mch to do with the size but based on what you have said I think I would be directing you away from a mini foxie too. They arent as easy going as some other breeds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenGirl85 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Probably worth mentioning that mousing instinct is very strong in tenties / mini foxies and most JRT - you will need to keep your rats well away - they are very fast operators! and very committed to their job (mine would go absolutely nuts living in a house with rodents - he is obsessive about hunting them) My jrt would too, I would also say get an older dog, a puppy might not grow up to bond with your son like you hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Souff Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 As others have said, sometimes people tell us what we don't want to hear. Sometimes those people who don't seem to be listening to us might have had extensive experience working with hyperactive or autistic children and have a pretty good idea of what can go wrong ... and what can work. Sometimes those people know that a young pup of a small breed is not a tireless toy and that it does not have the same amount of energy and adventurous ideas that a young hyperactive pre-schooler might have who has no idea at all of the long term damage he/she might be inflicting on a young puppy. Like young children, small puppies need to be carefully nurtured in the imprint stage of their development and a calm environment will give good results for life. However, if the imprint stage is damaging for the puppy, then the puppy is damaged for life. Damaged pups end up as damaged dogs. Society no longer wants damaged dogs and most are put to sleep. She did listen and suggested some very good alternatives where there is probably a better chance of success for all concerned, including the puppy. Some more excellent suggestions hve been made here by people who have a wealth of knowledge. Listen to them carefully and don't be quick to think that they too were not listening. We wont always be told what we want to hear and sometimes that is a good thing and can lead to a better path. Sometimes people go back and thank the people who guided them to a better path ... but not always. Souff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crisovar Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 As others have said, sometimes people tell us what we don't want to hear. Sometimes those people who don't seem to be listening to us might have had extensive experience working with hyperactive or autistic children and have a pretty good idea of what can go wrong ... and what can work. Sometimes those people know that a young pup of a small breed is not a tireless toy and that it does not have the same amount of energy and adventurous ideas that a young hyperactive pre-schooler might have who has no idea at all of the long term damage he/she might be inflicting on a young puppy. Like young children, small puppies need to be carefully nurtured in the imprint stage of their development and a calm environment will give good results for life. However, if the imprint stage is damaging for the puppy, then the puppy is damaged for life. Damaged pups end up as damaged dogs. Society no longer wants damaged dogs and most are put to sleep. She did listen and suggested some very good alternatives where there is probably a better chance of success for all concerned, including the puppy. Some more excellent suggestions hve been made here by people who have a wealth of knowledge. Listen to them carefully and don't be quick to think that they too were not listening. We wont always be told what we want to hear and sometimes that is a good thing and can lead to a better path. Sometimes people go back and thank the people who guided them to a better path ... but not always. Souff Where is the Like button!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moodychick Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Again i would like to thank you all for replying! And i would like to say, that just because we want a mini foxie or Tentie, doesnt mean thats what we will end up with. We want the right dog! We are not just going to jump in and buy a pup because they are cheap, or because they are available. We have been thinking this through for quite a while, and we will continue looking until we find the right dog! If it turns out not to be a mini foxie or tentie, then so be it! All i wanted was to understand why the lady was the way she was. Many of you have put forward your thoughts on this, and i understand it now. That was all i wanted, was an understanding of why she said flat out no. Seriously i do thank you all for actually reading and replying with your thoughts, it is much appreciated! And i do just want to reiterate, that if we dont find the right dog for all of us, including my son, then we will not be buying a dog! We do not want to get the wrong dog for our family! I would hate to get a fantastic little pup only to find out that it was the wrong one, and have it go badly, i would not like to do that to a pup! We are aware that foxies and tenties are mousers and ratters, however the rats are in a cage, and not put down on the floor around the animals, as we also have a cat that likes to eat rats! We take good care of ALL of our family members. I am also going to contact the Righteous Pups association this week and have a chat to them, and see what they say and recommend. I dont want any of you to think that we have made this decision lightly! We wont knowingly put any animal at risk, because as far as im concerned for every animal out there is its human soulmate! We have been contacting local breeders in the hopes that our son may be able to go and just look at the dogs, and have a play, and see how he reacts to them, and how they react to him. Its not just a "oh thats a cute puppy, lets get it and hope for the best" situation! We may end up having to wait a few years until he matures a bit more. Who knows? But this is why we are ringing around, and why I have joined up here, and why I am asking for advice before we do anything! So again thank you all for your time and your input, it is very helpful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenGirl85 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 MC, I can see that you want to do the very best for your family and pets, and thats great, you can learn a lot from this forum...but...if you have rats, please reconsider getting a ratting breed, I have a JRT, and I can guarantee that she would obsess over the area the ratties are kept, even if they are in a cage, these are very intelligent breeds and have a very keen hunting instinct, I'd just hate to see the worst happen. I love rats, they make an awesome pet..but while ever I have a ratting breed, I will never own a rat, its not worth stressing both animals (and myself) just trying to make it work, I could only imagine adding an autistic child into the mix Someone earlier suggested a Stafford, I think thats a very good breed for you to consider, they're hardy and will cope well with your sons energy, but at the same time they're so gentle and forgiving. There is a lot of Stafford breeders out there, but if you ask around on here you will get a lot of recommendations for suitable breeders to contact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trojka Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 I agree with contacting Righteous Pups. They are here in Bendigo, and do a fantastic job! I'm sure they will be able to at least point you in the right direction. It seems that you are predominantly looking for a dog for your son to grow up and interact with (although, of course it will be a family dog as well), and therefore I would be looking at what dog is best suited to his needs, and that may well not be a Mini Foxie or Tenterfield. I admit I have rather limited experience with both those breeds, however, they certainly wouldn't be the first that come to mind when thinking "bombproof dog for an autistic child". Personally, if I were in your situation, I would much prefer a slightly bigger dog that is capable of, and trained to, look after your son to a degree. I also agree with the suggestion of considering a well bred Staffordshire Bullterrier. Great dogs, very robust, tolerant of and patient with kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 MC, I can see that you want to do the very best for your family and pets, and thats great, you can learn a lot from this forum...but...if you have rats, please reconsider getting a ratting breed, I have a JRT, and I can guarantee that she would obsess over the area the ratties are kept, even if they are in a cage, these are very intelligent breeds and have a very keen hunting instinct, I'd just hate to see the worst happen. I love rats, they make an awesome pet..but while ever I have a ratting breed, I will never own a rat, its not worth stressing both animals (and myself) just trying to make it work, I could only imagine adding an autistic child Agree - the smell of the rats alone would get mine worked up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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