Atanquin Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 EXCERPTS FROM THE DOG'S DAILY DIARY 8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! 11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! 5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite! 6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM THE CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 283 Of My Captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only Thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; I must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "Allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebelsquest Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Shepherd mom Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 that sounds so right! Thanks for the laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemymutts Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyWal Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arctic.crocodile Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. So true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efowler Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Hahahah so funny! I can now imagine my Staffy n cat saying these things :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snippet Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Isn't this why they say dogs have masters and cats have staff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallyandtex Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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