nattiej1976 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 It has been 8 months since having to say farewell to our dearest boy, and I still find myself saddened that he is not with me. But........im desperately missing the presence of canine companionship, and am finding myself researching appropriate breeds for the family.....actually i think ive found the breed!. But now that i have found a breed that would suit us, im feeling guilty and saddened all over again, like im letting the memory of Kato fade away and that im doing him dishonor in even considering this. Please assure me, that these feelings are normal. for those of you who may have gone through it, did you hold off a little longer if these feelings arose? or did you continue with finding your new family member, and find that it all turned out OK? Gosh I sound like a rambling fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyosha Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 You should avoid feeling guilty. Kato would've always loved it best when you were happy? So he would love you to be happy now. It's not betraying his memory to think of having another dog. We don't replace our pets when they leave us, we just find new friends to love. We still hold the others dear in our hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teebs Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 It is very normal and i think each person is different. We have always gotten another animal soon after we lost the last one. It does not mean i didnt love them or am replacing them, it just means that i NEED animals in my life. My old pets would understand that and would want me to be happy. I honestly dont think i could go 8 months without a dog My last cat who died was 10 years ago, i got a new kitten the same week i lost her (my bella). Someone once told me i didnt care about Sasha who died but that is not the truth.. and i am sure Bella is thankful seeing she was on death row and was about to be PTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirty Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Its definitely normal. Everyone grieves differently so nobody can tell you if you are ready for another dog. But you will never forget Kato, he will always hold a special place in your heart. And he would want you all to be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nattiej1976 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) thanks guys, i know in my head that the feelings are more than normal, and almost everyone here on the forum have probably felt simlar things........OMG though, I did send an email to the breeder earlier this evening, just general enquiry as to next litters thinking that it could be some time.....they have just responded back to advise that there will be no more litters this year and not sure into next year either, but that they do have a 6mth old boy that they were going to keep for show but have decided not too. I can only go meet him and see what he thinks and feels about us, a little bit exciting, a little bit scary, a little bit hopeful that perhaps destiny may very well make the decision for us Edited September 13, 2011 by nattiej1976 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teebs Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 what breed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nattiej1976 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 what breed? Keeshond yeah im a fluffy dog lover.....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suziwong66 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 It has been 8 months since having to say farewell to our dearest boy, and I still find myself saddened that he is not with me. But........im desperately missing the presence of canine companionship, and am finding myself researching appropriate breeds for the family.....actually i think ive found the breed!. But now that i have found a breed that would suit us, im feeling guilty and saddened all over again, like im letting the memory of Kato fade away and that im doing him dishonor in even considering this. Please assure me, that these feelings are normal. for those of you who may have gone through it, did you hold off a little longer if these feelings arose? or did you continue with finding your new family member, and find that it all turned out OK? Gosh I sound like a rambling fool. Both times we lost our lovely (geriatric) boys we've decided to introduce another fur baby into the home within weeks. I just can't stand not having fur kids around the house; our family just isn't complete without a four legged baby and feels so wrong not to have one in our family. Keiran left us mid to late June 1997. We went to look at a litter mid July 1997 that were 6 weeks old. Casper was chosen from that litter and he came home to us at 10 weeks in mid August. Casper left us at the end of May this year and Wilbur came mid August...even now that Wilbur has been with us a month, i still miss Casper, but i don't feel guilty for wanting to love another fur family member. Each new four legged family member have been different in personality (even with Casper & Wilbur both being labs) and we never thought of the process and replacing them....Keiran was a male German Shepherd and both Casper and Wilbur were/are labs; Casper yellow & Wilbur Chocolate. The pain of losing our sweet boys has faded somewhat (moreso with Keiran than Casper due to the time lengths) but the wonderful memories of their long and happy lives in our family haven't. Guilt is such a wasted emotion when it comes to well loved and cared for fur kids that have left for the rainbow bridge. Experiencing grief and the healing process isn't linear in my opinion; my grief still comes and goes. Something that Wilbur does similarly to or differently from Casper frequently saddens me. We still accidentally call Wilbur by Casper's name on occassion due to a 14 year habit of yelling for Casper at the back door etc But the joy of Wilbur far outweighs ANY sadness of losing Casper...Just as the joy of Casper far outweighed the sadness of losing Keiran. To me, if the sadness and grief of losing one furkid outweighed the joy of having another then I wouldn't get another pup. But for me it's far better to have love and lost than not loved at all. Only you can decide when is the right time to introduce another furkid into your family, but i hope my experiences help you make the right decision for you. (please excuse any rambling - i'm a little tired tonight :D ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zug Zug Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) Just wanted to say I know exactly how you are feeling - and I have been much the same in the 3 months since my old boy's death. If you want another dog in your life, go ahead and get one. I do understand that the process of looking will bring back some of those grief feelings. It has for me, and I also watched it with a close friend of mine when she got a puppy recently, 2 years since her old boy died. She adores her new pup now. I am sure you will too when the time is right. Edited September 11, 2011 by Zug Zug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayle. Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 When our old girl Kassy died early this year, we hadn't intended to get another dog but it had never really dawned on me that three dogs would be an "unbalanced" pack......I often take two dogs to shows or training and the third would stay with Kassy for company. Once she was gone, I had to rethink things and it was only a matter of weeks before we started looking for an adult dog to bring into the family. It was the same when Benson died suddenly. I had no intention of getting another dog but it was hard to manage three dogs and when one was offered to us, we thought about it and it didn't take long to realise that we needed the balance a fourth dog brings. I miss the two dogs that have departed this year more than I can ever say. I still cry daily for Benson, and nothing on earth could ever replace him. Bringing another dog into the family did not lessen my grief for him, it didn't change it at all.....that is a totally separate issue. But the new dogs bring their own joy and they are now an integral part of the family. I just have to realise that with a large family of pets, things change and the family changes and adapts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornell Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 This is very normal. I lost my boy a year and a half ago. You don't find dogs. Dogs find you. Your boy probably feels your pain and could be sending you a dog to heal. You obviously have got a lot of love to give so it might be a case of going with the flow in this situation. Just be open to the fact that this new bundle of joy will probably be so different to your boy and give you a new set of lessons but they will also make your heart melt and make you laugh in different ways. As they say life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans. Choose your breed and healthy dog carefully and you will wonder how you ever lived without it all over again.Get ready your life is about to change for the better again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussielover Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Is this the first pet you've lost? I thought I would never get over the loss of our family dog, Clover. Getting Mindy was the best thing that could have happened. Firstly because she is an awesome dog and also because I now know that I will always have a dog in my life, and it is possible to move on from the loss of a dog and enjoy the friendship and companionship of another dog equally as well Now I no longer cry or feel upset when i think about Clover- instead I can remember all our great times together with happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nattiej1976 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Is this the first pet you've lost? I thought I would never get over the loss of our family dog, Clover. Getting Mindy was the best thing that could have happened. Firstly because she is an awesome dog and also because I now know that I will always have a dog in my life, and it is possible to move on from the loss of a dog and enjoy the friendship and companionship of another dog equally as well Now I no longer cry or feel upset when i think about Clover- instead I can remember all our great times together with happiness. No not the first......but kato was a bit of a heart dog for me, so has been one of the hardest to deal with passings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumabaar Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 nattiej- big hugs. What your feeling is perfectly fine. You are not replacing Kato by any means, if you have done the research it means that on some level you are ready and your right, fate might just be bumping things your way. Even if this pup doesn't work out you will still get some puppy love when you visit! This pup isn't a replacement, it is a new experience that won't fill the gap that kato left, but worm into your heart just the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clyde Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) No not the first......but kato was a bit of a heart dog for me, so has been one of the hardest to deal with passings. I still bawl over my heart dog and it's been about 4 years. I went with a different breed not long after she passed. I don't think there is any good or bad time to get a new pup, it's when you are ready, but just because you are still crying for you last dog it doesn't mean you don't have room in your life for a new dog to love. Just make sure you don't compare (which is why I went with a different breed). Saints are still my favourite breed but I won't get another until I know in my heart that the time is right. Good luck, I grew up with Keeshonds - lovey fluffy bums :D Edited September 11, 2011 by Clyde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nattiej1976 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 No not the first......but kato was a bit of a heart dog for me, so has been one of the hardest to deal with passings. I still bawl over my heart dog and it's been about 4 years. I went with a different breed not long after she passed. I don't think there is any good or bad time to get a new pup, it's when you are ready, but just because you are still crying for you last dog it doesn't mean you don't have room in your life for a new dog to love. Just make sure you don't compare (which is why I went with a different breed). Saints are still my favourite breed but I won't get another until I know in my heart that the time is right. Good luck, I grew up with Keeshonds - lovey fluffy bums :D Exactly this is why we have looked at a different breed. I KNOW for sure if I got another Akita I would see Kato way too much, and it would not be fair. Whilst I loved the general aloofness of the Akita, it will be nice to experience a more extroverted nature breed, and we are at the stages in our lives that a more outgoing social breed would suit anyway, we are camping more and hubby is now working a job where he can take a dog to work with him and for Taylah, her and Kato had a great relationship, but we could never let her walk him alone, he was simply to physically big, if anything were to happen she would not have been able to hold him back, his size and weight far outsized her strength. So to have a smaller breed, gives her the opportunity to be able to go for a walk to the shop alone with a dog that she would be able to physically control and manage, and even at training school, she always loved helping with Kato and did well together in their obedience, but she still needed adult attendance close by just on the off chance she needed help, she will get the opportunity now to go through this perhaps a little more independently and without the high level assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supercharged Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Sounds like you are ready by looking for a puppy, your beloved will never be far from your heart. Even after four years I still get teary eyed for one of ours that passed early......you will always remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty Miss Emma Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 A thread close to my heart at the moment. Tomorrow is 9 weeks since I had my Emma PTS. I can count on one hand the number of days that I haven't been in tears. I'm lucky I have Kenzie as well so there's at least one dog in the house. But I miss Em dreadfully and am trying to get to a point where the happy memories don't make me cry. I wonder if a new pup would help this along? When the other dog that is living with me at the moment goes I'm not sure how both Kenzie and myself will cope. So it's not just for me that I need to be thinking about when a new pup should come home. I don't want another breed, but I think I'd like a different colour within my breed - hopefully that would make the difference for me. But a litter that is upcoming that may have a pup for me is likely to have traditional colouring - who knows maybe there will be one that's a different colour and that will be the deciding factor!!! I think the time is right when it happens - one way or another. Either you go looking and you find the right pup, or the right dog just happens to find you. Just take each of them for who they are. They are each their own special being! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSoSwift Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I lost my very special girl, had a baby 7 weeks later and had a major issue. Then when my baby was 5 months old and I was sliding into depression a puppy became available. I wrestled for some time wondering if it was the right thing to do (I tend to be an over thinker) in the end I said yes and Rommi arrived - the best thing I could have done for myself and she was the major reason I started to climb back up out of a dark void. I still cried for my girl lost and honestly still do even 5 years later from time to time. Sometimes things just slid into place and you will find the prefect dog may not be exactly where you were looking, or maybe shows up sooner than you thought. Hugs and good luck, it is scary and emotional but if it is right it will all come together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tara8430 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I was tossing up starting a thread like this also as I'm in the same headspace. I lost my girl a 14 year old black lab names Sheba in July. She was such a huge part of my life, she had cancer so my whole life had been revolving around her. Although she wasnt sick for a long time only 3 months she became eeven more dependent on me than ever before and then nothing but a huge void in my life. I don't have another dog at the moment so I now have more free time than ever before and I hate it, I loved looking after my girl. I am too tossing up if getting a new lab is the right thing to do, I am currently waiting to see if a particular breeder has any little black girl labs. I guess if she does than it's meant to be but I can help thinking how my lat lab would have reacted if I ever brought home another dog. But I so hate coming home to an empty house with no waggy tail or head to pat. But yes I'm suming up it's very very hard, every day is a struggle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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