An Unenviable Situation

[trinabean]

My in-laws (who live interstate) were due to visit us in October for 2 weeks.

So...in a miscommunication of epic proportions between my OH and his parents, I am suddenly hit with the news that they will be here to visit next week. As September is very busy for our family, I'm ill-prepared and now have an additional worry as they are bringing their dog. Had they asked I would have advised them not to. Before I get flamed let me explain, I love my dog but would never impose him upon people without asking if it was OK to bring him.

They are however, halfway across the country now so I will have to judge the situation when they get here.

My main concerns are:

1. Based on their previous dogs, their dog may not be well-trained or supervised. This was apparently tolerated because they were small dogs.

2. My dog is a large 8 month old boxer and their dog is a miniture poodle. They differ in size and play-style. I have no idea if they will get along.

3. My pup's training is a work in progress. I have rules in my house that they do not. I'm not sure if they will enforce my rules or if they will let their dog do as it pleases. Will they undermine my dogs' training?

4. I'm not going to be home all of the time and don't think that it's a good idea to leave the dogs together unsupervised.

5. Probably the biggest concern is that I have children and I only ever have my dog and kids together when supervised. The chaos of an extra dog and visitors is just a whole different dynamic to manage. Their previous dogs (same breed) were a handful with separation anxiety and owner guarding issues. They were also resource guarders, especially with food. I have no idea what this dog is like but I'm not confident that they will have done anything differently in raising it.

I'm trying not to completely stress myself out. Not feeling as hospitable as I normally do. At all....

Ideas welcome. I have suggested that they consider kennelling their dog once they get here, especially if it's clear that our dogs don't get along.

[Guest Ams]

I'm a bit of a cow but I'd be stating what house rules are and making it quite clear that if they are not agreed to and adhered to then their dog will have to be kenneled for the duration of their visit. It might make you a little unpopular but your house, your children, your dog, your rules.

[Mason_Gibbs]

Yup I would ask them to put their dog in kennels if the 2 dont get along

[megan_]

Personally, I'd just put my dog in kennels/care (my dogs go to Cosmolo and it is more of a holiday for them!). If they are slack with their dog, you can bet they'll put the dogs together when you're out ("they're dogs, they'll sort themselves out").

[W Sibs]

Personally, I'd just put my dog in kennels/care (my dogs go to Cosmolo and it is more of a holiday for them!). If they are slack with their dog, you can bet they'll put the dogs together when you're out ("they're dogs, they'll sort themselves out").

Same. Especially if I'm not going to be around a lot. It will ease my mind that they are with people I can trust and be safe, then be at home all stressed out and dealing with dogs they don't like.

talking this with experience i have when my bro and FSIL comes with their beagles... my 2 really dislikes them.

Edited August 25, 2011 by CW EW

[Bjelkier]

I would insist that they put their dog in the kennel.

It's not going to make you popular but it's your house and your rules.

[Guest Willow]

I'm a bit of a cow but I'd be stating what house rules are and making it quite clear that if they are not agreed to and adhered to then their dog will have to be kenneled for the duration of their visit. It might make you a little unpopular but your house, your children, your dog, your rules.

This.

I would explain that due to the miscommunication, you weren;t aware until it was too late their dog was coming, and you're just not set up to have two dogs in th ehouse, particularly a "new" dog....I wouldn;t even give the an option, be firm, but nice, so maybe say "Ok, so I've found them a great boarding kennel and tomorrow we'll go and look at it and your dog will be able to stay there"

[Guest Willow]

Actually, I would insist your OH tells them this....they are his parents, and the communication about the trip was between them and him.

[The Spotted Devil]

Actually, I would insist your OH tells them this....they are his parents, and the communication about the trip was between them and him.

This

[Clyde]

Actually, I would insist your OH tells them this....they are his parents, and the communication about the trip was between them and him.

Exactly!

Good luck :D

[poodlefan]

First point to make - due to the communication breakdown, your inlaws probably think the dog IS invited.

I'd suck it and see.

For all you know the poodle and the pup could get on like a house on fire...

If not, then you have a plan B - poodle to kennels.

If you don't own a crate or a lidded pen already I'd get one and my first rule would be that one or the other dogs is in it at all times if they cannot be supervised. Talk to them about what's acceptable and what's not and if they're not happy, they can activate Plan B themselves.

There's an ongoing relationship to preserve here and I'd be doing what I can do make sure it stays rosy.

Edited August 25, 2011 by poodlefan

[trinabean]

I'm a bit of a cow but I'd be stating what house rules are and making it quite clear that if they are not agreed to and adhered to then their dog will have to be kenneled for the duration of their visit. It might make you a little unpopular but your house, your children, your dog, your rules.

Perhaps you're not a cow...just a clear communicater! Yes, I will be specific about my expectations.

Personally, I'd just put my dog in kennels/care (my dogs go to Cosmolo and it is more of a holiday for them!). If they are slack with their dog, you can bet they'll put the dogs together when you're out ("they're dogs, they'll sort themselves out").

I get your point re "they're dogs, they'll sort themselves out." I won't be away for more than a few hours at a time. Will think about this but I don't really want to kennel my dog.

.As I see it this is his home and he is happiest here.

He is an active dog who loves his walks and backyard 'zoomies' so kennelling is no fun for him. I kennel him when I absolutely have to.

I'm a bit of a cow but I'd be stating what house rules are and making it quite clear that if they are not agreed to and adhered to then their dog will have to be kenneled for the duration of their visit. It might make you a little unpopular but your house, your children, your dog, your rules.

This.

I would explain that due to the miscommunication, you weren;t aware until it was too late their dog was coming, and you're just not set up to have two dogs in th ehouse, particularly a "new" dog....I wouldn;t even give the an option, be firm, but nice, so maybe say "Ok, so I've found them a great boarding kennel and tomorrow we'll go and look at it and your dog will be able to stay there"

That is a good way of putting it. I will seek out some info on good kennels in Perth. My pup gets kennelled at his breeders but she only takes boxers.

Actually, I would insist your OH tells them this....they are his parents, and the communication about the trip was between them and him.

Not sure I trust them all to communicate clearly now! This incident is bringing my inner control freak to the surface! But yes, any instructions to kennel their dog are going to be better recieved if they come from him rather than me.

First point to make - due to the communication breakdown, your inlaws probably think the dog IS invited.

I'd suck it and see.

For all you know the poodle and the pup could get on like a house on fire...

If not, then you have a plan B - poodle to kennels.

If you don't own a crate or a lidded pen already I'd get one and my first rule would be that one or the other dogs is in it at all times if they cannot be supervised. Talk to them about what's acceptable and what's not and if they're not happy, they can activate Plan B themselves.

There's an ongoing relationship to preserve here and I'd be doing what I can do make sure it stays rosy.

It truly was a communication breakdown. They were planning on arriving this weekend, meanwhile their son is interstate for work!

I'm tempted for the sake of family unity to test the waters and see how the dogs react to each other. Perhaps off-lead in the backyard?

I do have a crate (and child gates to section off no-go zones like bedrooms) though we haven't used it much since our dog became house-trained. We are in the process of building a secure dog run but that won't be done in time.

[Dogsfevr]

Kennel solution may not work if they haven't brought there vacc card with them or the dog isn't current.

If the dog is current then there vet should be able to fax/email a vacc copy.

[fainty_girl]

If they don't get along then kennelling their dog will obviously be something they have to consider. Could you get them to meet while on leads on neutral ground to introduce them and take things from there? If they get along well and the difference in size isn't an issue, then take things slowly and see how they go.

[oakway]

For goodness sake stop making so much out of this.

They may all get along together like a house on fire.

Wait and cross your bridges when you come to them.

You have got yourself in a state and they have not even arrived.

If the worst should come to the worst go and buy yourself a big C crate and put the smaller dog in it.

If you don't want to that, put the big one in and tell them to go walk it.

It's easy, been there, done that. :D

[Clyde]

Who's in a state? Trinabean? I don't think she's in 'a state', she's just concerned about juggling her own large breed puppy, a visiting dog and her children. I would feel exactly the same way.

[Gayle.]

Is there some reason why they might not get along? Is one of the dogs aggressive or fearful of other dogs?

My son and his partner brought their two dogs to our place for a holiday once, they had an English Setter and a small terrier-type muttly. With my two Aussies and a 15yo Lhasa Apso we had a houseful and a range of sizes. The dogs all got along great, they had a blast together and we all had a really good and memorable Christmas holiday. Three of the dogs are no longer with us....his ES and my Lhasa Apso and my biggest Aussie, and I wouldn't have those incredible memories if they'd left their dogs behind.

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

Have you got a tiny garden? Is your Boxer good with other dogs? Is their dog good with other dogs and/or scared of larger dogs?

So many questions to be answered really, before anyone can make a decision on how best to play this scenario.

I would recommend a crate, a very stress reducing device - whether for your own dog or theirs.

I am currently caring for a former foster dog who didn't particularly like my dogs so had to be kept in the other half of my garden unless I was here. He's not nasty but just doesn't like or need other dogs much, loves kids though. He's a poodle cross who had an awful life before we suspect. Anyhow, my neighbours have adopted him but suddenly had to go away for an emergency today and won't be back till Tuesday. I've got him in here, in a crate for the evening/night. He'll be out for toilet breaks and back in their garden during the days. He'll walk with mine but doesn't want to be aruond them.

I had said to them that I couldn't look after him for long periods now they've adopted him because he'd be on his own too much but this is an exception. It would all be much easier if I didn't have to work and was here to manage things all day.

The other good thing to do is to make sure both dogs get plenty of long walks to wear them out! Perhaps they can help you with taking both dogs out to give you some space!

[PennyGB]

I would wait and see how the dogs get along first. But definitely let the in-laws know the house rules with regards to kids and dogs, I expect any reasonable person would respect those.

Also it sounds like you have the means in place to separate the dogs if necessary and I would feed them in separate areas just to be safe.

I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your in-laws but if you feel like you can't be blunt approach it like you're helping them "I think Boxer Pup is too energetic for Poodle I'll just put him out the back while I'm away and I think Poodle would be much happier inside" ???

When my in-laws visit with their 2 dogs they just take over, but they always supervise and have control of the situation, even if Archer (puppy) is a bit put out by the "new rules" they never stay long and we just recommence our rules once they've gone. I understand it is different with children involved which is why I think you should definitely lay down the law in that respect.

[Henrietta]

We had some fun with dogs/family over Christmas just gone.

My uncle was coming, then he wasn't, then he was, then he wasn't, then he was and 'btw - we are bringing the dog'.

It was fine. I played rotating dogs and it went without a hitch. I have one dog that isn't good with other dogs, depending on the dog/introduction etc, but this pairing was not suitable. Our other dog is fine but being a bit older and the visiting dog quite a bit bigger and boisterous, we kept them separated for the most part.

I stayed over my nan's in the evening with my girl, more for my sanity than anything else. I'd spend the evenings with nan and glass of wine, debriefing about the day's events, whilst the rest of the family was living the chaos back at the house. The dogs cope better than the people.

It was a great setup really, because families members could just excuse themselves to play with/walk the dogs and go and hide for half an hour. Worked for me anyway.