***

[Gayle.]

If they wanted to have constant and unlimited access to the dog, they should have rehomed her in a temporary situation, maybe boarded her in a kennel, not sold her. Sold is sold, she's not theirs to visit anymore.

[bonniek]

We have rehomed a precious girl and her previous owner also came to visit, mainly to see if she had settled in. The owner was concerned about her girl, and had rehomed her as her own circumstances had changed, but was clearly missing her. We allowed visits but on nuetral grounds, so the dog wasn't in a familiar environment. Worked very well..........we still have contact, updating experiences, photos through FB, the prior owner has moved on and has a new fluff ball in the family but still appreciates the contact of her princess.

I agree, nuetral ground.

[Aziah]

Thanks All, nice to have some other "dog type people's" perspective, yes I think with the emotional blackmail the lady in question is putting on me, I need to be cruel ( temporarily ) to the lady, in order to be kind to the dog.

Her problems are NOT your problems, you own the dog, their visits must only ever be on your terms - not theirs!

I'm sorry, but allowing yourself to be emotionally blackmailed by this woman isn't doing yourself or YOUR dog any good.

Tell her you will contact her when you feel a meeting is suitable sometime in the future.

[frufru]

I would offer them the dog back saying that you understand that sometimes things don't work out and when they decline (as they will) I would say that while you are happy to send updates on b'day and christmas there is to be no further contact with the dog as everyone needs to move on. You adopted the dog not the family - they are using you. JMO

[Aziah]

I would offer them the dog back saying that you understand that sometimes things don't work out and when they decline (as they will) I would say that while you are happy to send updates on b'day and christmas there is to be no further contact with the dog as everyone needs to move on. You adopted the dog not the family - they are using you. JMO

I agree with everything you have said bar the bit about offering the dog back - too bad if they call her bluff...

Just politely tell them you'll contact them from time to time but when you're ready.

Be upfront and assertive - this is your dog now.

[Scarlet]

Tell them that they are being selfish.

The visits are for their benefit at the expense of the dog.

If they wanted the best for him they would not keep unsettling him

I would not have them at the house again but I would be happy to post pictures and send e-mails letting them know about his progress...as long as this didn't get out of hand and they "expected" reports too often.

[Staff'n'Toller]

I would offer them the dog back saying that you understand that sometimes things don't work out and when they decline (as they will) I would say that while you are happy to send updates on b'day and christmas there is to be no further contact with the dog as everyone needs to move on. You adopted the dog not the family - they are using you. JMO

Totally agree.

If it's upsetting your dog, it's for their emotional benefit and they are showing no respect for the dog's emotional state or that you are the new owner. If they had dropped her off at a shelter they would not know the new owners at all, you are being very generous by giving email updates/photos and I feel that's where your responsibility ends.

[Keira&Phoenix]

Agree with everyone's opinions. I can see why they would want to visit and the initial visits to check that the dog was being well looked after is fine but to continue to visit ever 2 - 3 weeks is ridiculous and a ridiculous expectation of you to make time for that not to mention how it is effecting the dog.

Next call/text politely tell them no more visits are allowed as that is unsettling the dog and tell them you will send photos and updates every few months.

[Gayle.]

The problem with them having already visited is that they know where you live.

I adopted my most recent dog through breed rescue, who also happened to be the breeder of my dog, and in amongst the emails going backwards and forwards to get ownership and paperwork in order, one was forwarded to me from her previous owners with a document attached that I needed.

They had surrendered her when they went overseas and in the email, there was a question as to how she was going and concern for her well-being. I emailed them to let her know I was her new owner, I told them of my situation and the nice life the dog was now living, I sent her some photos I'd taken and let her know of my plans to teach the dog herding. And she emailed me back absolutely surprised and delighted that I'd taken the time to contact her. But I never told her where I live.

The dog is now completely transferred into my name....mains registered, microchip, council rego, everything.

[Spudd]

Get them to give you their email address so that you can send them photo's an updates Via that for a while because the visits are too much for the dog.

I would do this too. I would be so sad if I was forced to give Hugo up and the new owners wouldn't let me see him..

I would just ask for their email address and email them piccies every now and then. If i had to give Spudd away, i don't think i'd want to visit him, it would make me even more upset and make me miss him even more, it must be so hard for them. But keep visiting him is making it harder i think..

[TsarsMum]

i agree. its your dog now. they need to let it go and move on.

its not fair on the dog and i would say sorry but last time u left it stressed her out (i thought u have a him lol)I cant allow it again its not fair on her. whats your email address maybe i can email you updates and in a few months when she is settled in properly maybe then we can meet at the park and you can see her again.

do it nicely but firmly.

also lock the dog in when u go out. (just in case)

I had to rehome 2 dogs at different times. other then knowning they where ok i was not going to visit said dogs they are no mine and i need to leave it be as this person needs to lern too.

[mumtoshelley]

I too would stop all visiting as clearly the dog isn't couping too well with them. If I gave up my Shelley which would never happen I would ask to see where she would be living eg yard check etc, Then I'll want to visit 2-3 months later too see how she was going. Then I would stop the visiting but want updates every so often by email.

To me I think it is unfair on the dog to see its old owners as they think they are there to take them home, Then when they leave without the dog they get upset. I know I wouldn't want to do that with a dog as it would be hard for me too seeing that happen.

[daisygirl]

We have two dogs adopted. One through AWL so we dont know who the owner is but the other one was through a different rescue. I havent had direct contact with the previous owner so dont know if they care or not but the original breeder is a friend of another breeder that we know.

Therefore we sent an email when she originally arrived to let everyone know she had settled well, a little update at Christmas and then another email recently when she was sick (and luckily recovered). If I rescued a dog privately direct from someone I would still do the same updates.

We also foster and even though not technically our dog it is lovely to hear now and again how they are going as you do get attached but really happy when they get their forever home

[gone]

*

Edited March 2, 2012 by gone

[MadWoofter]

If you were fostering the dog I might say yes (in a neutral place), but they rehomed her - the dog's wellbeing is far more important than their need to see the dog. I agree with everyone here - no more visits. Up to you if you want to meet on neutral territory and/or send email pics

[BC Crazy]

That's a BIG NO from me. Had the similar thing happen to me when I rescued a BC years ago who had been extremely abused, said NO then too.

IMO if you can let a do go for whatever circumstances you don't deserve to visit the animal & it is too upsetting for the dog as well.

[Bilbo Baggins]

Agree with alot of the suggestions here.

Suggest they see her on neutral territory in 6 months.

[Whippetsmum]

Agree with the email suggestion except....set up a Gmail or other free email account just for the dog. That way you keep your regular email seperate. The other option is setting up a facebook for the dog only.

[Baileys mum]

A few of my puppy buyers have set up online photo albums (picaso album & photo bucket) & given me the direct link...so in that way they can upload photos into it & I am able to check into it at my leisure & see the latest photos of their puppy.I am also friends on facebook with several of my puppy buyers too.

You could possibly set up something like this, or if you feel comfortable having them as a friend on facebook, you could correspond with them that way aswell.

In that way it will save you the hassle of emailing them all the time.

I agree with others I would not allow them to visit again...as it is obviously upsetting the dog. I do feel for these people as I could only imagine how awful it would be to have to give up a dog ...but they made the descision to do it , & its your dog now, & they have to just learn to let go.

I would maybe let them see the dog in about 6 months time in a park or something just to reassure them that the dog is happy & healthy to enable them to move on... then after that I would no longer let them have any more visits.

[Brennan's Mum]

I think you have answered your own question. If the dog is left distressed when they leave then I'd say no more visits. At least not for a while. Give the dog time to fully settle into your home. Like others have said, the dog is not their dog any-more but yours. Sounds like it was a sad decision, and I can understand they want to know the dog has a good home, but still, they did give the dog up for adoption, and have to accept that the dog no longer belongs to them.

Maybe you could email photo's on a semi regular basis.. but I'd leave it at your decision. Maybe one email update with photo's a month (or whatever you feel is acceptable).