Separation Anxiety In An Older Girl

[Zug Zug]

The 2 dogs you can see in my photo have been together for many, many years. I had the bichon frise Mozart his entire 13 years from a puppy until his death 2 days ago (RIP Mozart - the perfect gentleman). Zamba was a pound dog who came to us as a young adult with ISSUES about 2.5 years later. That was 10 years ago, or thereabouts.

Zamba has always had real separation anxiety issues. Very bonded to me, very bonded to Mozart. So long as one of us was around, she was ok. Some of you will know the trouble I have had trying to train her to accept out of sight stays in CDX - suffice to say her panic attacks have been difficult to over come and I've come to accept that this will be a long road we may never finish travelling.

Anyway, Mozart died on Thursday and she needs to learn to cope without him. The first night I thought she was doing ok. When I got back from the vet she looked around for him for about 5 minutes, then stopped. I kept her with me, and had her sleep on a bed next to my bed, and she seemed fine (I also found her presence comforting). At 4am I took her out for a wee and then put her back in her crate (in the study). She cried pitifully for a little while, but then slept.

Yesterday she seemed clingy but not overly distressed. I took the day off work and kept her with me for most of the day, but put her outside for a couple of 30 minute stretches and she coped alright (a bit of complaining, but nothing really unusual).

Last night she could not sleep in her crate at all - she just kept barking. I persisted for about an hour and a half, but she was just getting more and more distressed so I gave in and brought her into the bedroom with me again. She settled and slept well on her bed on the floor next to my bed until morning.

This morning I've put her outside as normal, and she is just sitting there looking sad. Usually at this time of day she and Mozart would be playing around in the backyard, play fighting etc. He has been too sick to do this of late, but she had been trying to tempt him anyway.

I need to go back to work on Monday. My daughter will be around the house on SWOTVAC and can help out. But on Tuesday she has an exam so Zamba will be home alone for most of the day. I can pop in at lunchtime, but that still leaves several hours either side of lunchtime.

I am happy to move her crate into our bedroom permanently. She obviously likes being there and I think that's the least we can do for her. But I am more worried about work days, when she is home alone. She is still very fit and very active - she has been quite an escape artist in the past and I'm worried that could start again.

So my questions are:

- What can people tell me about helping dogs with separation anxiety to be comfortable being alone?

- For those of you who have lost dogs in similar circumstances, have you found your other dog adjusted given time?

Note: We will get another dog eventually, but not yet. Getting another dog would make Zamba happy I'm sure (or at least keep her occupied) but that won't happen for at least a few months and possibly longer so we need strategies to help her cope in the meantime.

Edited June 17, 2011 by Zug Zug

[gillbear]

I would get a DAP defuser and some tranquil paste or similiar. Rescue Remedy is another option.

They are all very effective and will help her to settle. Try not to fuss over her and keep things as normal as possible around the house.

[JulesP]

When my Moss died my other dog Fern just lay on her bed looking like she wanted to die too. I could not stand it at all and went flat out to find a puppy. She picked up a bit with the new pup but it still took a while before she was super happy again. I was very lucky in that I found a breeder had kept 2 pups to pick from at weeks so I got a lovely dog straight away.

I disliked the situation so much that I got a third dog when Fern got elderly rather than waiting until she passed.

Very sorry you lost Mozart.

[Red Fox]

No advice but I'm sorry to hear you lost Mozart.

[Zug Zug]

I disliked the situation so much that I got a third dog when Fern got elderly rather than waiting until she passed.

Yeah I had been thinking about this too. It didn't happen for a few reasons. One of them was my husband's strong view that 2 dogs was enough. And the other was that I guess I thought we had a few years to go. But more recently it had become apparent that probably wasn't going to be the case.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have a bottle of DAP here somewhere. I bought it for her a few months back thinking I'd try it with her stay problems, but never tried it. I will dig it out and try it tonight.

[Zug Zug]

Update - also posted in the poodle thread, re-posting it here:

Didn't get much sleep last night. I put Zamba into into her crate at 9pm and she barked solidly from 9:20 or so, until 1am. No more buddy to cuddle up with - so I'm assuming she was cold or lonely or both. I had used the DAP. From 9 until 9:20 I was thinking 'yes - it worked', but no such luck. If it worked at all, it was short-lived.

So I went out today and bought a heat pad for her. I have just put it in her crate - on top of her mattress and under a woollen blanket folded 4 times. I turned it on about half an hour ago to check it works, which it does.

It is down one side of the crate (quite a large crate), so she can sleep 'on in' or 'off it' - by choosing which side of the crate she decides to sleep on.

She has hopped in there and is definitely 'on' the heat pad. She seems to really like it.

Fingers crossed for a good long sleep tonight.

[Jigsaw]

Sorry to hear of Mozart's passing.

I do hope you get some sleep tonight. I was thinking she may be cold and maybe lonely when I was reading the thread. My toy poodle (an only dog) felt the cold terribly. my mum knitted him a selection of jumpers.

She may well miss his companionship through the night and during the day. However, I would however not do any obvious change in how you leave her. If you've had success with with whatever method you've used in the past keep going with it. Good idea to have someone check on her initially though as she may need time to adjust to a more solitary lifestyle. Does she have a well protected place she can sleep in outside during the day or is she happy (happier) confined inside the house while you're at work, especially in the cooler weather?

[Pretty Miss Emma]

Sorry to hear about Mozart.

I agree with the ""keeping things as normal as possible" theory. My Emma has had to spend quite a bit of time on overnight stays at the vet, in hospital, etc over the past few months and Kenzie has not known life at all without her. I did give her a bit more attention at these times (hard not to when you're used to giving attnetion to 2 dogs and then there's only one at home!), but I tried to keep everything as close to the same as possible - same dinner time, same walks, same rules, etc. I think letting her sleep in you room might be good for her though if that is a new rule you are happy to adopt - if she's used to company even having the sound and smell of you nearby when sleeping might just make this time a bit easier for her.

[cowanbree]

When I lost Quest a few mths back her best buddy Reeve was devastated to an extent I have never seen before. He took to sitting by himself out in the rain and become withdrawn and very sad. It was extremely tempting to buy another dog but the truth is I wasn't ready and it wouldn't be fair to the new dog so I just tried to carry on as normal. Time was the only thing that has fixed it and even now he isn't the happy fun dog he was.

I also would recommend the DAP, it really does work

[Zug Zug]

One week on and just letting you all know she seems ok.

A bit clingy, but she seems happy and is back into her sleep routine in her newly-warmed crate (which we have ended up leaving right where it always was).

I am enormously relieved. She seems quite relaxed and happy. Just slightly more sucky than usual.

I am giving her a bit more attention. I agree with an earlier post - it's hard not to when you are used to 2 dogs and suddenly there is just the one.

But I'm not spoiling her. We still have our rules.