First He Said A Dog Was Okay, Then He Changed His Mind

[Iskiea]

Any ideas anyone on how to convince him. My other room mate is fine. The one who we are renting from [his mother is the house owner said she was more than happy for me to get a dog] was all for it too in the beginning. We were going to adopt a dog from the RSPCA but they required everyone in the house to meet the dog before they could proceed with the application, the moment we mentioned to him that he had to come down with us and meet the dog after we had he suddenly changed his tune.

Started going down the, but the dog will just tear up the house route, will pee everywhere and make the house stink, put fur everywhere, how it will destroy the house and the backyard. What will happen to the dog if I leave the house, what will happen to the dog when I move out. He's suddenly paranoid and believes that he will have to take care of the dog and that I won't be able to take care of it.

Now I work full time, pay my rent, clean up after myself. I would through hell and high water to keep my dog with me, I would make sure I have a pet friendly place to move into before I move out. I'm a person who puts an animals needs before my own, my dog would be well fed and well taken care of. I may have a car loan to pay off but I still have enough money spare to cover vet bills and food. Plus my tax return gives me more of a buffer on my savings. I would also train the dog well, make sure it had enough exercise and toys to not become destructive. Pee is easy enough to clean out of the carpet and removing the smell is easy too. I'll vacuum everyday if I have to..

I'm not sure how to convince him, considering he was all okay with it in the beginning and more than happy about it, but if he had to be involved all of a sudden he baulked and changed his tune..

Any tips?

Clarification.. This is my room mate I'm talking about.. he's sort of the landlord considering we are renting from him. His mother is overseas for the year and has let him rent the rooms. She's fine with me getting one and more than happy to, he was at first but now he's changed his mind.

Edited June 16, 2011 by Iskiea

[stonecutter]

Hang on - is this your partner?

[Iskiea]

No sorry... it's my room mate.. Just realised I should have clarified it more

[_PL_]

Move.

Even if he relents, don't bring a dog into a home where it's not wanted. The minute it does something doggy the grief won't be worth it.

[W Sibs]

Move.

Even if he relents, don't bring a dog into a home where it's not wanted. The minute it does something doggy the grief won't be worth it.

This.

[Ons]

You sound like you will be a wonderfully responsible dog owner but as much as you would love to get a dog I would worry about putting a dog in that enviornment with someone not really wanting one Wait until you have more control in your own place.

In the meantime help out at a shelter, do rescue dog transport, lots of ways to help out without a full committment of having a dog

[stonecutter]

Ah - perhaps it might be easier if you spell out everything in writing - e.g. I agree in regards to any pets

1. Keep in X area when unsupervised/I am at work (e.g. in laundry with access to a dog door, or fenced section of the yard)

2. Will crate train

3. Will be responsible for toileting and cleaning up any accidents

4. Will be responsible for feeding, vet bills

5. Will be responsible for finding pet appropriate accomodation if moving out and will not leave pets at the premises whilst I am not living there

6. Roommate/landlord WILL NOT be responsible for caring for the dog in any way, unless he chooses to volunteer to do so.

If you agree to terms that cover his areas of concern - then perhaps that might help.

[Sooky]

I agree with everyone else I don't think you should get a dog just now sorry not what you wanted to hear I know

[Bundyburger]

Move if it means that much to you. His house his rules, so i can't see it changing

[persephone]

No dog for now ,,, if he is 'the landlord" and the slightest bit resentful.. it's not worth it

[corvus]

No dog for now ,,, if he is 'the landlord" and the slightest bit resentful.. it's not worth it

Well... That was basically my situation when I got my first dog, only it was my father who I had to beg permission off and he was resentful and held me responsible for every misdemeanour imagined or real. "Your dog dug a hole in my lawn." "Look what your dog did to my hose." "Your stupid dog put a hole in my thong." He was constantly at me to take her for a walk even though I walked her a lot, and for a long time I felt like every time she did something wrong I had to do something about it.

However, was it worth it? Absolutely. A thousand times over. And he came to love her and missed her terribly when I moved out and took her with me.

Incidentally, I got permission to get a dog by begging for a year, showing him I could and would find the time to look after a dog, and in the end, turning on the water works and just pleading. It was a hard slog, but I proved it wasn't just a passing phase and I was very committed.

[Christina]

Not fair on the dog if its not wanted by everyone in the house.

It isn't your house & this could cause trouble.

If there is any trouble the dog is the victim.

Just wait until you can get your own house then you can do & have what you want.

[warval dobe]

Now is not the time : . Give it a miss. This will be the most responsible thing you will ever do for a dog. There will be a better time.

[aussielover]

I'm also one where my dad didn't want a dog. We've had 3 now :D

Its always a struggle to convince him at first, but he does end up liking the dogs.

I guess family is different because they wouldn't actually kick you out of the house.

Maybe see if you can get a pet friendly rental somewhere?

[Greytmate]

I would move. It isn't the right time to get a dog because you are living with somebody that doesn't want one.

[daisygirl]

Maybe you could suggest just trying fostering to start with. That way if there are any problems you can hand back to the shelter or rescue organisation. Once he sees how committed you are and how it all works out OK that you will have better luck adopting your own dog fulltime?

[Iskiea]

Hi everyone, Thank you so much for all your replies.

Mostly the reason why I moved to this place was because it was pet friendly, and he was more than open to having a dog [having had dogs himself] providing the other housemates were fine with it. Well the other one is more than happy with it but it all started the moment he had to be involved with the adopting process at the RSPCA then it was a complete change of tune.. It also ended up with the suggestion.. hey why don't you get a kitten instead..

I'm starting to see though as much as I love it here having animals is most important to me, I've lived a year and a half without having a dog and I don't think I could ever do it again.. Moving back with my parents is out of the question.. [i can't get along with them in the same house anymore sadly ] So I'm going to be house hunting again, which will make another move for me in 6 months.. but for a dog I would do anything. It also means if I can get a place to rent it'll be more my place than moving into someone elses ^.^

As much as I want to stay here because it is so very awesome a place.. I think to be truly happy I may have to move. ^.^

[Sunnyflower]

Dad and house mate comparison is very different! You shouldn't have to beg a housemate to get a dog. If it's not wanted it's not wanted and I wouldn't put my dog anywhere near someone that clearly did not want the dog! If you can afford to move out and get your own place otherwise accept that right now all the dots aren't in a row and it's not the right time.

[Alkhe]

I agree with everyone else - if there's even an inkling of uncertainty from your housemate, don't do it. I was in a kind of similar situation recently, where one of my housemates ended up being completely weird around dogs and had no dog sense whatsoever. Kind of like a socially inept person, but towards dogs. He wasn't abusive in any way or anything, but Maggie was just always on edge around him, and he had no capacity to read her and put her at ease, and also worked from home (ie, around all day when I wasn't always). I decided that I'd look around to find somewhere pet friendly, and was accepted at the first sharehouse I looked at. So I basically moved because of tension between my dog and housemate, and am so happy that I did. Don't lose hope - it can be done! And bringing a dog into an imperfect home situation will only create extra tensions and be unfair on everyone. It's not worth it

Hi everyone, Thank you so much for all your replies.

Mostly the reason why I moved to this place was because it was pet friendly, and he was more than open to having a dog [having had dogs himself] providing the other housemates were fine with it. Well the other one is more than happy with it but it all started the moment he had to be involved with the adopting process at the RSPCA then it was a complete change of tune.. It also ended up with the suggestion.. hey why don't you get a kitten instead..

I'm starting to see though as much as I love it here having animals is most important to me, I've lived a year and a half without having a dog and I don't think I could ever do it again.. Moving back with my parents is out of the question.. [i can't get along with them in the same house anymore sadly ] So I'm going to be house hunting again, which will make another move for me in 6 months.. but for a dog I would do anything. It also means if I can get a place to rent it'll be more my place than moving into someone elses ^.^

As much as I want to stay here because it is so very awesome a place.. I think to be truly happy I may have to move. ^.^

I think this is the right decision - I left my little dog (in my avatar) behind with my mum when I moved out, and things were really never the same. Living without a dog, for me, .. there's just something missing. I waited 6 years before getting Maggie (had her 3 months now) and honestly, have no idea how I did it. I don't know what I ever did before I got her - she's seriously changed my life for the better in so many ways, I actually just choke up thinking about my life before her. (I realise I am a bit pathetic.. )

[Iskiea]

So the house hunting begins ^.^ wish me luck everyone.. I've found a few pet friendly places.. it's just getting to see them and approved for them ^.^ I reckon it's time I took care of myself and looked after my needs ^.^ If anyone in Canberra knows of a pet friendly place looking for someone or knows of a place pet friendly I can rent I would love to know.

I think this is the right decision - I left my little dog (in my avatar) behind with my mum when I moved out, and things were really never the same. Living without a dog, for me, .. there's just something missing. I waited 6 years before getting Maggie (had her 3 months now) and honestly, have no idea how I did it. I don't know what I ever did before I got her - she's seriously changed my life for the better in so many ways, I actually just choke up thinking about my life before her. (I realise I am a bit pathetic.. )

Yeah I think the only reason why I survived my year and a half was because I was in a steady relationship then... but it is definitely not the same without a dog around. I definitely cannot live without one in my life ^.^.