I Need Help And Guidance :(

[oakeydoak1]

I think you have made the right decision also and I also think you should consider getting a cat for company. They are alot more self sufficient. More adaptable to living inside and will give you the company you need.

[budgiew]

I think most little dogs need company ,especially if the owners are out for much of the day.If you decide later to get a pet perhaps adopt 2 little quiet dogs,Sometimes you see them in pairs at the shelter.My friend had a rescue maltese and although she also had another elderly dog ,he would cry and pee everywhere if she left him.But when the older dog died she got a rescue cat and the maltese just loves the cat so much and they play well together.Since the cat came the dog no longer carries on or pees when she goes out.Sorry this is such a difficult time for you.Time will ease your pain.I am sure in the future you will find a pet that will fit right into your life,and you will know you did the right thing.

[wings]

As someone who just went through this with my own dog I know how hard it is.

Rehoming my dog was gut wrenching and heartbreaking and I felt like a complete failure. BUT it was the right thing for both me and the dog, she is in a far more suitable home and I no longer go through every day holding my breath and feeling guilty for not doing a better job at being her owner. Now I know it was a case of wrong dog, wrong time but through responsibly facing up to the problems I made sure my girl wasn't a pound statistic.

I kept in contact with the new home for awhile, I made sure everything settled as it should and now that it has I've back off a bit to let my own emotional wounds heal. Maybe you'd like to do somthing similar so you know how he goes? It really helped me.

[HazyWal]

What a big heart you have.Whilst Harper will always hold that special piece in your heart their is plenty left in that heart to love another special doggy when the time is right.

[Atanquin]

I sure you will find a special dog out there for you. RSPCA would be the best place you sound like a lovely caring person. Maybe you should email your local RSPCA and they could help you find your perfect match. And I know I will be flamed for this but poodles do tend to suffer from separation anxiety they want to be with you as much as they can because they love you. Good luck and when you do find the right dog time with a holiday do your at home with him and can slowly get use to the idea you can be there 24/7 good luck

[Trisven13]

I didn't mean it as putting pressure on him, I meant that I wasn't just going to give up on one dog and try another.

I don't see admitting that perhaps a different home might be better for Harper as "giving up". I see it as doing right be the dog.

Patricia McConnell once commented that there is no shame in rehoming a dog to a home that suits it better than yours. I think there's a lot of wisdom in that statement.

I've said it before but at risk of repeating myself I will say it again.

I rehomed a dog when he was 9 years old. I should have rehomed him when he was 6 months old when it was obvious that he was a poor fit for my family, my existing dog and my lifestyle but I was so conditioned to thinking that once my dog, always my dog that I forgot to think about how what I was doing was so wrong for the poor bloody dog. Tigger is a much, much, much happier dog now that he is not mine. Sure when I see him he is happy to see me and not too nervous (he was a seriously nervy dog) BUT he is constantly on the look-out for his real mum. Broke my heart to "admit defeat" and rehome him until the first time I saw him with his new, real, mum and then I realised that I had, finally, done the right thing for him when I found him a new home. That poor dog was truly stressed beyond belief living with me, I was stressed living with him which made him MORE stressed, which made me MORE stressed etc etc etc.

When I first read that quote of Patricia McConnell's I was so relieved.

[Sometimesnotoften]

I didn't mean it as putting pressure on him, I meant that I wasn't just going to give up on one dog and try another.

I don't see admitting that perhaps a different home might be better for Harper as "giving up". I see it as doing right be the dog.

Patricia McConnell once commented that there is no shame in rehoming a dog to a home that suits it better than yours. I think there's a lot of wisdom in that statement.

I've said it before but at risk of repeating myself I will say it again.

I rehomed a dog when he was 9 years old. I should have rehomed him when he was 6 months old when it was obvious that he was a poor fit for my family, my existing dog and my lifestyle but I was so conditioned to thinking that once my dog, always my dog that I forgot to think about how what I was doing was so wrong for the poor bloody dog. Tigger is a much, much, much happier dog now that he is not mine. Sure when I see him he is happy to see me and not too nervous (he was a seriously nervy dog) BUT he is constantly on the look-out for his real mum. Broke my heart to "admit defeat" and rehome him until the first time I saw him with his new, real, mum and then I realised that I had, finally, done the right thing for him when I found him a new home. That poor dog was truly stressed beyond belief living with me, I was stressed living with him which made him MORE stressed, which made me MORE stressed etc etc etc.

When I first read that quote of Patricia McConnell's I was so relieved.

Couldnt agree more. There is no shame in moving a dog into a different home if you do it properly (as you have).

Doing the right thing by the dog is certainly not giving up. Being abstinent about making a bad situation work is worse on the dogs nerves and your own. People who make a relationship work 'for the kids' dont necessarily do the kids any favors now do they - its all the same. He can most certainly feel your anxiety and its making his own much worse.

Your receiving some good advice by people that obviously know you, you are very lucky. Those who know you well may be able to guide you better in finding your true fur partner.

Good luck.

[Ruftybear]

I've been thinking about you today. I know it's an awful time, but I hope everything has gone as well as it can for you all.

[msk]

This is my first post ever so I hope I have done it right.

I am sorry to hear that you went through that with Harper. I have recently just purchased my first puppy on Sunday.

She is now 11 weeks old and I have been crying from the moment she got home with us. I have headaches, I've been

vomiting and have not eaten for 2 days. She has only been with us for 3 days. It is very sad and I feel very guilty as

I keep feeling like I don't want her anymore. I want my life back and I want my cats back in the house playing. Belle is her name and

she is a beautiful Schnoodle (Schnauzer x poodle). She is just lovely but I hate feeling like this. I have decided to give her a week

and see how we go. I am hoping that I can re-home her if need be.

Edited June 29, 2011 by megansarakelly

[Aziah]

This is my first post ever so I hope I have done it right.

I am sorry to hear that you went through that with Harper. I have recently just purchased my first puppy on Sunday.

She is now 11 weeks old and I have been crying from the moment she got home with us. I have headaches, I've been

vomiting and have not eaten for 2 days. She has only been with us for 3 days. It is very sad and I feel very guilty as

I keep feeling like I don't want her anymore. I want my life back and I want my cats back in the house playing. Belle is her name and

she is a beautiful Schnoodle (Schnauzer x poodle). She is just lovely but I hate feeling like this. I have decided to give her a week

and see how we go. I am hoping that I can re-home her if need be.

Geez that's a concern and not at all normal?!

[Guest HarperGD]

I actually ended up keeping Harper and thank god I did because I love him to death!

The first week was the hardest but we stuck with it and things quickly got better.

We actually just went for our first walk together and it was lovely - he was so good!!

Msk - it sounds like you're going through the exact same thing as me, but I can promise it does get better

[Snout Girl]

This is my first post ever so I hope I have done it right.

I am sorry to hear that you went through that with Harper. I have recently just purchased my first puppy on Sunday.

She is now 11 weeks old and I have been crying from the moment she got home with us. I have headaches, I've been

vomiting and have not eaten for 2 days. She has only been with us for 3 days. It is very sad and I feel very guilty as

I keep feeling like I don't want her anymore. I want my life back and I want my cats back in the house playing. Belle is her name and

she is a beautiful Schnoodle (Schnauzer x poodle). She is just lovely but I hate feeling like this. I have decided to give her a week

and see how we go. I am hoping that I can re-home her if need be.

a week? your kidding, right? your puppy is a baby and will take time to adjust being in the new surroundings.

[dandybrush]

This is my first post ever so I hope I have done it right.

I am sorry to hear that you went through that with Harper. I have recently just purchased my first puppy on Sunday.

She is now 11 weeks old and I have been crying from the moment she got home with us. I have headaches, I've been

vomiting and have not eaten for 2 days. She has only been with us for 3 days. It is very sad and I feel very guilty as

I keep feeling like I don't want her anymore. I want my life back and I want my cats back in the house playing. Belle is her name and

she is a beautiful Schnoodle (Schnauzer x poodle). She is just lovely but I hate feeling like this. I have decided to give her a week

and see how we go. I am hoping that I can re-home her if need be.

msk in all honesty i was exactly the same as you are with my new pup, cept for the not eating and being sick part but as soon as i got her home i was a bit sad i wanted things to go bak to the way they were with me and my first dog. my older boy and i have the best relationship and we do/did everything together now i have to share my time, which im still struggling with, but not so much anymore, give the pup time, your cats will be bak in the house playing before you know it, my older boy wouldnt lie on the rug in the loungeroom when we first brought pup home, i didnt even notice when he started to do it again, if you stop stressing about it will just happen how its supposed to, buy some treats and toy, do some sit, and drop with the pup play with it and give it time im sure everything will work out (can i also say i was the same with my first pup to, i thought i would never get time alone with OH again!! i was quite upset, but i cant see my life without him now)

[gwenneth1]

The worst experience I ever had was a working line GSD, even crated next to our bed at night he never let up for the first two days. We could be physically with him and he would still whine, looking for his Mother and litter mates for a week and a half. I humanised it somewhat and took it as a complete lack of bonding, I'd never experienced this with any dog or pup in my life, drove me nuts.

What worked: Crating over night and making the crate a place he wanted to be, quite often you hear to line it with paper, I lined it with soft,snuggly material and put a biscuit in with him as well as a safe toy. I left background noise going in form of a radio with short period of crating during the day . For the first three weeks I had planned somebody to be here 24/7 and worked on increasing the time frame he would be left alone, everybody in the house had to be on the same page with interactions and a low fuss method. Cut a long story short it worked. Out all the dogs I ever had (including two other GSD's) he was the most vocal about everything, a talker as such, which was just his personality, turned out to be a great dog.

It's hard when it's your first dog, maybe (I keep reading about a guy in Sydney on these forums -if that's where you are? Steve Courtney ? sorry spelling) get a recommended dog behaviouralist or trainer to help you manage your pup and for you to educate yourself. Knowledge is empowerment. As far as the neighbours, maybe approach them personally and apologise for the noise, explain the pup is still adjusting and explain the proactive steps you are taking and thank them for their patience. If you do this, maybe it will help you with your anxiety levels which most likely feeds the situation with the pup.

I feel from your post you are a decent person who feels really bad about the situation and other than lack of experience and not having the tools to have realised what owning a dog can be like as a first time owner, contacting the breeder would be hard thing to do, that took courage and decency. Benefit of hindisght may have seen you not get a pup, but living in the present tense is what has to be resolved.

[nikkid]

Your heart is in the right place HarperGD. I think you will make a wonderful mommy to Harper. Don't be so hard on yourself and just hang in there.

I actually ended up keeping Harper and thank god I did because I love him to death!

The first week was the hardest but we stuck with it and things quickly got better.

We actually just went for our first walk together and it was lovely - he was so good!!

Msk - it sounds like you're going through the exact same thing as me, but I can promise it does get better

[poodlefan]

This is my first post ever so I hope I have done it right.

I am sorry to hear that you went through that with Harper. I have recently just purchased my first puppy on Sunday.

She is now 11 weeks old and I have been crying from the moment she got home with us. I have headaches, I've been

vomiting and have not eaten for 2 days. She has only been with us for 3 days. It is very sad and I feel very guilty as

I keep feeling like I don't want her anymore. I want my life back and I want my cats back in the house playing. Belle is her name and

she is a beautiful Schnoodle (Schnauzer x poodle). She is just lovely but I hate feeling like this. I have decided to give her a week

and see how we go. I am hoping that I can re-home her if need be.

I think after only a week, you should be able to return her to her breeder.

[Kazhak]

I remember when I got my Dalmation puppy, I was 12 & she was supposed to be my dog so at night she was crated in my room, by golly did she howl at night lol.. poor little puppy.. poor mum, I would do the first couple of get ups to take her out for a pee & then back in for a cuddle, but by the end of the night my mum would find me huddled with my head under the pillow hoping the dallie would just stop crying.. she turned out to be the best most beautiful loving little doggie ever.. I miss her very very much.. & i'm glad we stuck it through the tough beginning when the poor little girl who had come from a very very large litter to being the only puppy in the house... I'm glad to hear you stuck it through with Harper.. not that rehoming in a tough situation isn't a bad thing to do, its more about giving yourself a chance to settle into things rather than Harper

this time round though I am getting an older dog, as I know that he will fit my life as it is now a lot better than a puppy would, I fostered a pup a few months back for a couple of nights so she could get used to being alone without being stuck in a cold shelter kennel, man that was a real eye opener, she was adorable, but mischevous & golly she could cry.. glad I have chosen an adult this time round.. & very much looking forward to him joining my life

[schnauzer]

This is my first post ever so I hope I have done it right.

I am sorry to hear that you went through that with Harper. I have recently just purchased my first puppy on Sunday.

She is now 11 weeks old and I have been crying from the moment she got home with us. I have headaches, I've been

vomiting and have not eaten for 2 days. She has only been with us for 3 days. It is very sad and I feel very guilty as

I keep feeling like I don't want her anymore. I want my life back and I want my cats back in the house playing. Belle is her name and

she is a beautiful Schnoodle (Schnauzer x poodle). She is just lovely but I hate feeling like this. I have decided to give her a week

and see how we go. I am hoping that I can re-home her if need be.

I think after only a week, you should be able to return her to her breeder.

Unfortunately Poodlefan, I doubt that a "schnoodle" came from a breeder as such.