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Atheists Offer Pet Help After Judgment Day


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http://www.news.com.au/technology/atheists-offer-pet-help-after-judgment-day/story-e6frfro0-1226058673384

Athiests offer to care for pets of Christians

Pet rescue service costs $135 for first pet

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WHEN Judgment Day comes - which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday - have you thought about what you're going to do with the family dog and cat?

In 26 US states, you could have them rescued and adopted by enterprising atheists who have set up a business to care for the animal companions of any Christians who are selected to go to heaven when Jesus Christ comes back.

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes, what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to "take that burden off your mind".

The post-Doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.

All the rescuers are sworn atheists, which means they will definitely be left behind on Earth, ready to rescue pets after the Rapture, which one US Christian fundamentalist group has pencilled in for Saturday.

When Judgement Day happens, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets co-founder Bart Centre "will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who's signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.

"This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday," Mr Centre said.

Contracts are good for 10 years, just in case the Mayan calendar prophesy, which predicts the world will end in December next year, comes true.

[Meanwhile, a "handy" form is doing the web rounds which Rapture-bound people can fill out to ensure their worldly goods go to the right people. Isn't the internet wonderful? - news.com.au]

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

enterprising

I'm on a golden retreiver forum where everyone else is American so I have had to promise to stay up until 12.01 am on Saturday morning and post whether the world is still in existance or not :laugh::laugh::laugh: It seems that it has been getting quite a lot of publicity over there the end of the world, haven't seen any here :laugh:

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

enterprising

I'm on a golden retreiver forum where everyone else is American so I have had to promise to stay up until 12.01 am on Saturday morning and post whether the world is still in existance or not :laugh::laugh::laugh: It seems that it has been getting quite a lot of publicity over there the end of the world, haven't seen any here :laugh:

... they won't be sure unless you tell them?

O my dog - you could make a fortune!!!!

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The post-Doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.

That's nearly $35k not including the additional pets! :eek:

Wish I'd thought of doing that :laugh:

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

enterprising

I'm on a golden retreiver forum where everyone else is American so I have had to promise to stay up until 12.01 am on Saturday morning and post whether the world is still in existance or not :laugh::laugh::laugh: It seems that it has been getting quite a lot of publicity over there the end of the world, haven't seen any here :laugh:

But surely it will happen from midnight in Jerusalem (or wherever Jesus is supposed to return), and affect the whole world at once? Or do they think the world will gradually fade away, starting at the international date line?

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

enterprising

I'm on a golden retreiver forum where everyone else is American so I have had to promise to stay up until 12.01 am on Saturday morning and post whether the world is still in existance or not :laugh::laugh::laugh: It seems that it has been getting quite a lot of publicity over there the end of the world, haven't seen any here :laugh:

... they won't be sure unless you tell them?

O my dog - you could make a fortune!!!!

none of us are sure what time the ending is supposed to be so we are presuming (tongue in cheek of course) that's it at 12.01 am no matter what time zone is, so me being first if the world is still there at 12.01 am they know they will survive - roflol

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Dear Atheists,

If the believers are right and the world ends.. you won't be here anyway.

This is starting to remind me of the skit with Rowan Atkinson calling the roll in hell. ;)

In the case of the rapture, I think those left behind get 7 years of pestilence, disaster and death before the second coming. Dunno about the Mayan end of the world, they didn't teach us about that in Religious Ed!

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

enterprising

I'm on a golden retreiver forum where everyone else is American so I have had to promise to stay up until 12.01 am on Saturday morning and post whether the world is still in existance or not :laugh::laugh::laugh: It seems that it has been getting quite a lot of publicity over there the end of the world, haven't seen any here :laugh:

... they won't be sure unless you tell them?

O my dog - you could make a fortune!!!!

none of us are sure what time the ending is supposed to be so we are presuming (tongue in cheek of course) that's it at 12.01 am no matter what time zone is, so me being first if the world is still there at 12.01 am they know they will survive - roflol

Umm there is actually a small country a little east of NSW called New Zealand that will actually be first in the world. ;)

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rofl1.gif That's a classic!

Though one must wonder of the potential repercussions with all of this when people don't get called to heaven (hey, i'm an atheist!), could it be up for fraud perhaps...? Or would it be a case of too bad, too sad, you were silly enough to think the world was ending, so suck it up...?

*Ponders*

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Dear Atheists,

If the believers are right and the world ends.. you won't be here anyway.

This is starting to remind me of the skit with Rowan Atkinson calling the roll in hell. ;)

But at least they will die wealthier than the believers! :thumbsup:

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I'm not certain how this rapture business works, so forgive me if I'm mistaken, but wouldn't even the most ardent atheist be a "true-believer" if it actually happened, and therefore end up going too? If so, then this is a total scam!

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Dear Atheists,

If the believers are right and the world ends.. you won't be here anyway.

This is starting to remind me of the skit with Rowan Atkinson calling the roll in hell. ;)

Lol I'm going to try my first vid embedding for those who haven't seen it hope it works :)

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WHEN Judgment Day comes - which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday -

That sucks, I had a heap of stuff planned for Saturday. It'd be nice if someone could tell the rest of us poor, slovenly heathens that the world is ending and we shouldn't make plans. Hopefully Bunnings employs enough sinners that their stores will be open on the Saturday.

Seriously though.. as much as I appreciate poking fun at the extremist god bothers, actually tricking money out of them doesn't quite sit right with me.

Even if it was entirely fake, it would still bother me. :shrug:

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WHEN Judgment Day comes - which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday -

That sucks, I had a heap of stuff planned for Saturday. It'd be nice if someone could tell the rest of us poor, slovenly heathens that the world is ending and we shouldn't make plans. Hopefully Bunnings employs enough sinners that their stores will be open on the Saturday.

Seriously though.. as much as I appreciate poking fun at the extremist god bothers, actually tricking money out of them doesn't quite sit right with me.

Even if it was entirely fake, it would still bother me. :shrug:

I don't know if it can be classed as tricking them though, if God or Jesus or whoever does happen to come on Saturday the athiests may have every intention of doing as they promised, they just don't believe it will happen. If the Christians all go to heaven and the athiests don't look after their pets then yes they would have been tricking them but if it doesn't happen anyway we have no way of knowing whether they would have or not. It's Schrodinger's cat all over again :laugh:

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