Dog Quotes

[Sooky]

Thought I would start a thread where we could share any dog quotes that we know, I'll go first with one I came across today and thought was funny -

"I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me."Jimi Celeste

Edited March 6, 2011 by doggylovers

[persephone]

Speaking to his dog - author unknown:

"God gave you fleas to remind you you're a dog!"

[kinsella]

One of my all time favourites is from Rudyard Kipling -

"Brother and sister, I bid you beware

Of giving your heart to a dog to tear"

[Dxenion]

Author Unknown

Dear Dogs,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions

with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other

dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in

the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming

your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating

me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I

fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about

this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your

comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping; they can actually curl up in

a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other

stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking

tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used

is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by

some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not

necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw

under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the

same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years.

Canine attendance is not mandatory.

[Dxenion]

A long one but a goodie - Author unknown

Things to remember if you get reincarnated as a dog

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.

4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.

9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.

10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

11. The nappy bucket is not a biscuit tin.

12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

16. I will not steal my mum's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mum & dad's laps.

18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for dad's driver's license and car registration.

20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

21. I will not eat mint flavoured dental floss out of the bathroom garbage, because I don't want to have a string hanging out of my butt.

22. I will not play "roll around in the dirt" after just getting a bath.

23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.

24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.

25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.

26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.

28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt makes people put me outside.

30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

[Enigma]

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by

some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not

necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw

under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the

same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years.

Canine attendance is not mandatory.

Just love this bit, can so relate

[gwenneth1]

"I am his Highness dog at Kew; pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you? " On the collar of a dog- by Alexander Pope. Makes me laugh every time, imagine bending down and reading that .... (My daughter is getting this engraved on her dog's collar atm).

"Tho thou may cast a thousand stones, I will always love thee"

"I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons". - Will Rogers

"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."

"My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am"

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. "

"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really." - Agnes Sligh Turnbull

(Taken from a little book of Dog Quotes I was given for my birthday many (many) moons ago.)