pixie_meg Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 (edited) Granted i've competed in all of about 3 shows but i've already learnt a few things. People may or may not rubbish your dog. If they do talk bad about your dog it probably means they feel threatened. So far everyone has been pleasant to me. There aren't many dogs being shown in my breed though. They've been very encouraging. Maybe i'll meet some that wont be so nice, but cant say that'll stop me. if they don't have something nice to say then its definitely their problem. Even though I am new, I've added a few show people I knew on facebook and they ended up deleting me eventually! They probably are whinging about how good your dog is. Oh and i don't think you need to harden up. More like take a n ignore/whatever attitude to comments. Don't think anyone would accuse me of being 'hard' and i'm certainly not going to change who i am. I can be sensitive for sure but only in response to things that matter. Edited February 6, 2011 by pixie_meg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebanne Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Even though I am new, I've added a few show people I knew on facebook and they ended up deleting me eventually! means nothing, plenty like to keep their "friends" under a certain number for instance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WreckitWhippet Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodleluv Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I think you have to have the attitude that the best revenge is to win I have had some nasty dobbing in crap done to me, councils, RSPCA and have come out on top, the more crap I get, the more determined I am to stay on top :D :D A show friend once said to me "cream always rises to the top" and I think of that phrase often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benshiva Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Do you mean we won't all be holding hands & singing "lovey dovey " sounds in November Yes I'll be there singing showdog, but only if I win of course, if I lose I'll storm out of the ring, rubbish the winning dogs, accuse the winning handler of sleeping with the judge and then slink off home to wash the dye out of my dogs Brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nabs Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Yep trailer tampering at Durack!!! Also plenty of people whi have been in the breed for five minutes cause problems as well! It works both ways people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 People don't need to "harden up". People need to understand that like any other activity, showing attracts the good, the bad, the mad and the sad. Keep it in balance, keep your dog disconnected from your ego and be pleasant and you'll survive just fine. If you want a stream of rose petals welcoming you, people falling all over themselves to help you as their competition and sunshine and rainbows all the time then prepare to be disappointed at some stage. Its just a microcosm of life peeps - treat it like one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gayle. Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I doubt anyone expects sunshine and rainbows, but most people expect adults to act in a civil, mature fashion and not like middle-aged kindergarten kids chucking a whammy cos things don't go their way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I doubt anyone expects sunshine and rainbows, but most people expect adults to act in a civil, mature fashion and not like middle-aged kindergarten kids chucking a whammy cos things don't go their way. But we now that will never happen in any part of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I doubt anyone expects sunshine and rainbows, but most people expect adults to act in a civil, mature fashion and not like middle-aged kindergarten kids chucking a whammy cos things don't go their way. I've seen behaviour of that nature from adults in all kinds of places - ask anyone who's ever worked in a service industry. The only behaviour we have any real control over is our own. You can expect all you like but some folk will invariably disappoint. I dont' see why we should let them ruin our enjoyment of what can be a very pleasant hobby. We can tut tut and shake our heads all we like - it won't make some folk behave and I'm dammed if I'm going to retreat and leave the field to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSoSwift Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I learnt a long time ago to keep under the radar, espeically of certain nasty people in the breed I was in. Seems it worked after my bitch got third in her class at a specialty beating a bitch of this person and they stormed around demanding to know who the bitch was and where it came from. While I didn't show often I had been at quite a few shows with this person but not in the same class. I laughed and said she is mine why's that? If looks could have killed. Anyway I ignore the nasties, try to have a good day out and am happy as long as I have worked well and the dog has tried. Anything more than that is a lovely bonus. I have met some wonderful people along the way. I will and have stood up for myself but find it a lot less energy sapping and annoying to just cruise along and let the nasties rot in their own pit of nastiness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I doubt anyone expects sunshine and rainbows, but most people expect adults to act in a civil, mature fashion and not like middle-aged kindergarten kids chucking a whammy cos things don't go their way. I've seen behaviour of that nature from adults in all kinds of places - ask anyone who's ever worked in a service industry. The only behaviour we have any real control over is our own. You can expect all you like but some folk will invariably disappoint. I dont' see why we should let them ruin our enjoyment of what can be a very pleasant hobby. We can tut tut and shake our heads all we like - it won't make some folk behave and I'm dammed if I'm going to retreat and leave the field to them. You're not wrong there ...my 18 year old daughter recently began a part-time job in a Hotel (Pub) kitchen and she says the head Chef is forever throwing a tantrum and usually the gravy boat along with it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aziah Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I think you have to be driven by a complete passion - ignore the crap and enjoy the hobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WreckitWhippet Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I think you have to be driven by a complete passion - ignore the crap and enjoy the hobby. nahh just win a lot and it's all water off a ducks back and thoroughly enjoyable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aziah Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I think you have to be driven by a complete passion - ignore the crap and enjoy the hobby. nahh just win a lot and it's all water off a ducks back and thoroughly enjoyable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emery Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 i agree with the majority here. Go and have a good time out wth friends (if you sit with them) and your dogs. I have a group of exhibitors that we all sit with now and it makes it much more fun then feeling like a loner though less trouble that way rofl. I always took a friend who didn't mind hanging around all day. But yes have made friends withint he breed by introducing myself when i saw new exhibitors. My competition often sits with us both male of the same age and the females for challenge. We have a great day out win or lose and if one of our group is successful we cheer congratulate and celebrate. We talk about our dogs within our group we know the dogs faults and strengths. Now if we learn to handle to those woohoo rofl. I have never had a major win. I have made it to age class group a few times. Got baby in group at an open show once. And I still have a great day out. I know my pup has maturing to do and she is up against some very strong competition in our breed in our state and we have some up and comings as well. You can't win them all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Megz- Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 I think you have to be driven by a complete passion - ignore the crap and enjoy the hobby. nahh just win a lot and it's all water off a ducks back and thoroughly enjoyable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkySoaringMagpie Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) What a shame that kind of behaviour is seen as "acceptable" at any event and people need to be told "it's all part of it". There is no excuse for that type of rudeness, and the only reason people get away with it is because it's tolerated as being part of showing dogs. What is the answer then? I'm not trying to be funny, it's a serious question. How would you stop people being rude? I would not react, in fact I'd just set an example by being polite, friendly, congratulating them on their successes, making a point of saying hello each time I saw them, complimenting them on their lovely dogs..... Rudeness being tolerated doesn't make it right. Making uncomplimentary remarks about someones dogs only makes the person opening their mouth look really really ugly to those hearing it. Rising above it makes that person look like the better person. Hard to bite ones tongue, much harder than giving as good as you get a lot of the time, but at the end of the day at least you don't look anywhere near as ugly as those who can't play the game nicely. You've explained how you stop yourself being rude but not how you would stop others being rude. The latter is my question, prompted by your observation that we are tolerating rudeness. Some people are going to consistently behave badly no matter what anyone does and they teach their kids to do the same. Dealing with that effectively includes considerations about time, energy and how much someone is going to impose on your courtesy. For the badly behaved, you being polite is an opportunity to impose on you, not an opportunity to reflect on your shining example. I too like to be the change I want to see, but good boundaries mean not engaging with all the stuff designed to provoke, annoy or suck up your time and energy - particularly if engaging with it means you will put your dog and your own performance in the ring at a disadvantage. Some friends in another breed/group are stopping going to shows because there is an exhibitor who is so obnoxious, and so impervious to direct feedback about her obnoxious behaviour, that it is just really unpleasant being at the grounds with her. Being polite doesn't stop her, it encourages her and my armchair diagnosis is that there is BPD or NPD or something similar going on. The way to keep the new exhibitor who is feeling put off by this is to give the new exhibitor skills to deal with it, because lord knows the other person is not going to change, at least not without some very expensive and time consuming therapy. The advice I gave the newbie was to cut all communication with that person and make friends outside the group. It is more effective for the newbie to completely disengage, than to have nice conversations. EFS Edited February 8, 2011 by SkySoaringMagpie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) I agree with SSM and said earlier that the only person's behaviour you can control is yours. How you react and deal with others will colour what sort of a day you have. In the end, if being around some exhibitors and bearing witness to obnoxious behaviour upsets you, you need to distance yourself physically and psychologically. For most of us that wont' mean leaving the show ground but insulating ourselves by finding pleasant, postiive company. It's out there. Having a dog that doesn't win makes people react in different ways. Some look to blame others - the judges, fellow competitors. Others look to themselves - their handling, their dogs. I'd always recommend people start looking for reasons closer to home and think twice before blame goes further. I don't kid myself that its always a level playing field in the ring but no point getting bent out of shape about something that's hard to prove and even harder to change. You can either cowboy up and ride the bumps or stay home. You sure as hell won't change anything unless you're out there showing though. Edited February 8, 2011 by poodlefan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tassie Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Pf and RSG :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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