Tough Hides And The Show Ring

[-Megz-]

How tough do you think a person needs to be to "last" in the show ring? Or perhaps the question is how long would it take being tough to get past the bad?

I have been trying to help some newer people through the first stages of showing dogs and they have some "fun" events.

Their dog has managed a couple of nice wins over older competition and they have copped the mouth of the other exhibitor as a reaction to it. I have explained this happens, it's the way it can be but is definitely the minority over the majority. They are wavering, I know they are wavering. How would you approach the "harden the f*** up" talk without scaring them off more?

I know this answer will be varying and very wide reaching but hoping for maybe some stories/banter that might encourage them to stick around. They are very lovely people and worth keeping in the dog world.

[Havasneeze]

How tough do you think a person needs to be to "last" in the show ring? Or perhaps the question is how long would it take being tough to get past the bad?

I have been trying to help some newer people through the first stages of showing dogs and they have some "fun" events.

Their dog has managed a couple of nice wins over older competition and they have copped the mouth of the other exhibitor as a reaction to it. I have explained this happens, it's the way it can be but is definitely the minority over the majority. They are wavering, I know they are wavering. How would you approach the "harden the f*** up" talk without scaring them off more?

I know this answer will be varying and very wide reaching but hoping for maybe some stories/banter that might encourage them to stick around. They are very lovely people and worth keeping in the dog world.

Dog showing is like playing competitive sport. Some people can hack it and some just aren't cut out for it. I'm quite sure that if I hadn't "hardened" up on the sporting field, I would have stopped showing dogs a longggggg time ago.

[Sandra777]

Depends on what sort of people they are away from the ring, you can always run the old cherry past them that people never bitch and whinge about people they don't fear. They have a promising dog and that makes some people uneasy. In a perverse way this appeals to the pride of some people

Edited February 3, 2011 by Sandra777

[Gayle.]

What a shame that kind of behaviour is seen as "acceptable" at any event and people need to be told "it's all part of it".

There is no excuse for that type of rudeness, and the only reason people get away with it is because it's tolerated as being part of showing dogs.

[Nancyk]

It is not just in the show ring, but anthing to do with purebred dogs. Take a look at some of the adverts for litters in breeds you are familiar with. Anything goes - and if you are really brave ring a few and hear them disparage other breeders. Often the most blatant brags and disparaging comments are from people breeding their first litter - fast learners.

But a sense of humour really helps and a determination to have fun with and enjoy your dogs.

[Sandra777]

Anything to do with people in a competitive situation really. Bad manners are everywhere - ever worked in retail ? (And surely that does qualify as a competition!)

Edited February 3, 2011 by Sandra777

[Showpony]

It is not just in the show ring, but anthing to do with purebred dogs. Take a look at some of the adverts for litters in breeds you are familiar with. Anything goes - and if you are really brave ring a few and hear them disparage other breeders. Often the most blatant brags and disparaging comments are from people breeding their first litter - fast learners.

But a sense of humour really helps and a determination to have fun with and enjoy your dogs.

Hi,

There is a hugh misconception that just because you have the same breed, that most people in your chosen breed will be warm, fuzzy, friendly, welcoming and encouraging..... well this is true to the point of someone being beaten......then it can get seriously plain and ugly.

Obviously the problem isn't with the new people but the old exhibitors who feel their turf is being threaten...........my answer to this when I was a new exhibitor was to cut these people dead, I just stopped talking to them. The people who did this to me were always the ones who came up being so called friendly but always has some tacky back handed comment. The majority of friends I have do not have my breed and I had to sifted through a fair bit of chaff to find my breed mentors. I remember being extremely upset and in tears after another tacky comment from the same exhibitor who always did this.....someone from my breed came up to me and said.........'listen, dont worry, dog showing is a hobby , a past time it doesn't take you to the Olympics and it is not for a sheep station, and would you invite that person to your house for dinner, if the answer is no, why bother having anything to do with them.......you dont have to like someone just because they have the same breed'. With 30+ years experience, now, I give people a couple of chances first, if you are fair and polite to me, I'll be the same to you, also if anything comes back to me via gossip I front these people immediately.

I have had alot of fun showing dogs, made lots of good friends.........dog showing seems to concentrate on the negative...........we always remember the bad things, and I think if we analysed our time in the hobby there are more good times than bad..........even when your new and yes some degree of hardening up does have to happen, but this happens with experience also.

[SkySoaringMagpie]

I try not to talk about being hard enough or tough enough because I think newbies don't want to end up hard or tough. They certainly don't want to wind up like the humourless exhibitors who chuck their dogs in the backs of crates with faces like thunder if the judge has the temerity to award BOB to someone else.

I prefer to talk about giving people skills in sports psychology, because that is really what it is about. I think teliing someone that they are copping it because they are a threat can ring a bit hollow sometimes. There are some people who will kick out any ladder they see behind them, even if the person is a long way behind them. And to be frank there are some psychopathic individuals and plenty of bullies who do it just because they get a kick out of it.

I think the specifics of show ring sports psychology would fill a thread that would run to pages and pages, but I think it comes down to not allowing people to take up space in your head, and not allowing their bad behaviour to drive your reactions. A little bit of distance goes a long way. And if you don't have a life outside of showing, which helps you keep the whole thing in perspective, you are stuffed.

Edited for clarity

Edited February 3, 2011 by SkySoaringMagpie

[SkySoaringMagpie]

Obviously the problem isn't with the new people but the old exhibitors who feel their turf is being threaten...........my answer to this when I was a new exhibitor was to cut these people dead, I just stopped talking to them.

Reminds me of when I was new and used to patiently listen to someone witter on to me at length about how terrible it was that certain people in the breed never said hello or spoke to them at shows, how rude, etc. It was only later that I realised those rude exhibitors were smarter than me!!

[SkySoaringMagpie]

What a shame that kind of behaviour is seen as "acceptable" at any event and people need to be told "it's all part of it".

There is no excuse for that type of rudeness, and the only reason people get away with it is because it's tolerated as being part of showing dogs.

What is the answer then? I'm not trying to be funny, it's a serious question. How would you stop people being rude?

[peaceful]

Reminds me of when I was new and used to patiently listen to someone witter on to me at length about how terrible it was that certain people in the breed never said hello or spoke to them at shows, how rude, etc. It was only later that I realised those rude exhibitors were smarter than me!!

That is hiliarious! SSM

I have found the ones who are the nastiest, rudest people are always the ones without any semblance of normal life apart from dog shows.

They take it all far too seriously and become really obsessive, manipulative and really hateful towards anyone who dares to beat their dog/s in the ring.

In the end its only their own lives that are the really sad ones and their own bitterness and hatefulness that will ultimately affect their own health negatively.

Sometimes I wonder why I am still showing

[Showpony]

What a shame that kind of behaviour is seen as "acceptable" at any event and people need to be told "it's all part of it".

There is no excuse for that type of rudeness, and the only reason people get away with it is because it's tolerated as being part of showing dogs.

What is the answer then? I'm not trying to be funny, it's a serious question. How would you stop people being rude?

Hi,

Dont know........you can't stop people being rude in general..........what I have found is quite often the person being rude is looking for a fight anyway, I just walk away, why give them what they want but if it's something trivial I do tell them to pull their heads or grow up.

Trouble is, having been involved for a long time......you can pick these people anyway.......and I just avoid them, these type of people do not have enough quality to be in my life anyway.

Edited February 3, 2011 by Showpony

[Guest CaptainCourageous]

Great mentoring is the key to keeping newcomers.

CC

[Gayle.]

What a shame that kind of behaviour is seen as "acceptable" at any event and people need to be told "it's all part of it".

There is no excuse for that type of rudeness, and the only reason people get away with it is because it's tolerated as being part of showing dogs.

What is the answer then? I'm not trying to be funny, it's a serious question. How would you stop people being rude?

I would not react, in fact I'd just set an example by being polite, friendly, congratulating them on their successes, making a point of saying hello each time I saw them, complimenting them on their lovely dogs.....

Rudeness being tolerated doesn't make it right. Making uncomplimentary remarks about someones dogs only makes the person opening their mouth look really really ugly to those hearing it. Rising above it makes that person look like the better person. Hard to bite ones tongue, much harder than giving as good as you get a lot of the time, but at the end of the day at least you don't look anywhere near as ugly as those who can't play the game nicely.

[Jaxx'sBuddy]

What a shame that kind of behaviour is seen as "acceptable" at any event and people need to be told "it's all part of it".

There is no excuse for that type of rudeness, and the only reason people get away with it is because it's tolerated as being part of showing dogs.

What is the answer then? I'm not trying to be funny, it's a serious question. How would you stop people being rude?

when the day comes that breeding a champion dog doesn't mean people are seen as a great breeder and winning by cheating is just not on

the "sport" of showing dogs will die out if it doesn't change dramatically because younger people will not want to be around this sort of behaviour

Edited February 3, 2011 by Jaxx'sBuddy

[Rayvale]

It is not just in the show ring, but anthing to do with purebred dogs. Take a look at some of the adverts for litters in breeds you are familiar with. Anything goes - and if you are really brave ring a few and hear them disparage other breeders. Often the most blatant brags and disparaging comments are from people breeding their first litter - fast learners.

But a sense of humour really helps and a determination to have fun with and enjoy your dogs.

Hi,

There is a hugh misconception that just because you have the same breed, that most people in your chosen breed will be warm, fuzzy, friendly, welcoming and encouraging..... well this is true to the point of someone being beaten......then it can get seriously plain and ugly.

Obviously the problem isn't with the new people but the old exhibitors who feel their turf is being threaten...........my answer to this when I was a new exhibitor was to cut these people dead, I just stopped talking to them. The people who did this to me were always the ones who came up being so called friendly but always has some tacky back handed comment. The majority of friends I have do not have my breed and I had to sifted through a fair bit of chaff to find my breed mentors. I remember being extremely upset and in tears after another tacky comment from the same exhibitor who always did this.....someone from my breed came up to me and said.........'listen, dont worry, dog showing is a hobby , a past time it doesn't take you to the Olympics and it is not for a sheep station, and would you invite that person to your house for dinner, if the answer is no, why bother having anything to do with them.......you dont have to like someone just because they have the same breed'. With 30+ years experience, now, I give people a couple of chances first, if you are fair and polite to me, I'll be the same to you, also if anything comes back to me via gossip I front these people immediately.

I have had alot of fun showing dogs, made lots of good friends.........dog showing seems to concentrate on the negative...........we always remember the bad things, and I think if we analysed our time in the hobby there are more good times than bad..........even when your new and yes some degree of hardening up does have to happen, but this happens with experience also.

Well Said - and spot on in my opinion! beautiful piece of advice & one I will remember to share from now on -

[fifi]

For me, the one's that carry on like primadonnas or dummyspitting phsyco's I can deal with, I just laugh inwardly and think...get a life you poor creature, or have a pang of sympathy for their lack of life outside the dog world.

Its the smiling assasins that get up my nose, the one's who have utterly no life and sit on the phone & net to scheme & bitch & sabotage, the liars & sociopaths...they are the one's to caution the newbies about. They are usually very good at the nice veneer, all the while slicing & dicing.

They are the one's who do the most damage, because people are lured into trusting them.

But I have to say, apart from a handful that fall into the above categories, I have made some wonderful friends through my breed, and showing in general. In fact a good percentage of my close buddies are the one's I see at country shows up here, as well as socially outside of dogs, because we have other mutual interests & lives.

I agree with the mentoring statement from another poster, great mentoring can guide, shield, nurture and encourage the stayers in our hobby.

fifi

[Nancyk]

One thing I recommend to newcomers or anyone having a bad time is to get involved in the show itself. Volunteer for cardwriting if that is being done ringside - many shows are desperate for card writers and it is fairly easy to do if the stewards sheets are in good order.

Often the bullies and the nasties never involve themselves in "helping" and steer well clear on anyone doing so. In fact the nasties fear authority and get the impression that any of the helpers at a show can influence their "wins" and hence are polite.

But we do need to emphasise to newcomers that there are some very lovely people who show, and many who are genuinely interested in sharing information. As someone said earlier people who have other interests as well as dogs are usually great to get along with.

[BittyMooPeeb]

I try not to talk about being hard enough or tough enough because I think newbies don't want to end up hard or tough. They certainly don't want to wind up like the humourless exhibitors who chuck their dogs in the backs of crates with faces like thunder if the judge has the temerity to award BOB to someone else.

I prefer to talk about giving people skills in sports psychology, because that is really what it is about.

I considered giving up when I was told that to survive and to win I would have to toughen up.

I agree wholeheartedly with using sports psychology to explain what is happening to a newbie. I'd also:

- introduce them to as many people with different breeds as possible, so that they can find friends who they wont be competing with

- advise them to ignore/avoid the troublemakers

- point out that there are plenty of lovely people in dog showing, but they might not stand out as much as the ones behaving badly.

I used to play competitive chess, and found it much the same as dog showing in terms of people with bad behaviour. Except I left chess because of the bad behaviour, but I plan to stick with dog showing, having taken my own advice (above) :-)

[Havasneeze]

Obviously the problem isn't with the new people but the old exhibitors who feel their turf is being threaten...........my answer to this when I was a new exhibitor was to cut these people dead, I just stopped talking to them.

Reminds me of when I was new and used to patiently listen to someone witter on to me at length about how terrible it was that certain people in the breed never said hello or spoke to them at shows, how rude, etc. It was only later that I realised those rude exhibitors were smarter than me!!

;)