What Did You Do That Helped....

[parrotpea]

I am so sorry for your loss happypaws ;)

I am all teary after reading yours and others posts. Something that helped for me was having a little memorial service and burial - even if you go for cremation, you could just bury a handful of ashes - we buried our girl with two of her favourite toys.

[corvus]

Getting a puppy sure helped. Fills that hole and gave me something else to think about.

We held a wake of sorts for her. We went to a chocolate cafe with those who loved her and drank Spanish hot chocolates to her name. I found it to be very helpful to spend time grieving with loved ones.

[Rozzie]

On Friday, it will be 12 months since we lost our 19 year old Dachshund, a week before her 20th birthday. I miss her everyday. Her bed is still where she slept on it, the other dogs don't use it. I don't think I will ever stop missing her.

[gwenneth1]

It's horrible looking at the empty bed. Six months on, I look at that spot every morning and miss her. The only upside to grief is that in order to experience it, you must have loved.

Twenty years of love, that's somethin' special

[_PL_]

I'm so sorry. It's the worst feeling.

I lost my heart dog Button Powerlegs. My world just stopped that day. But she is still here, I wear a locket with a photo of her inside and the garden out the front of my house is 'Button's Garden' with plants especially for her.

And I do have a purse size photo album. With all my most loved people and critters past and present. It helps on a bad day.

[cavNrott]

It's now 2yrs+4 months since I lost Sophie. I still miss her every day and not an hour goes by that I don't think of her. She was my soul mate. Sometimes tears well up but time teaches us how to deal with grief. As Rozzie said, I will never stop missing her.

I have a memory box containing Sophie's things and letters of condolence from her vet and oncologist. Her rosewood box sits on a small table in my bedroom. I still keep fresh flowers on her table to honour her memory. Today she has red rosebuds and one Gardenia in front of her picture. She always had her head buried in the gardenia plants when they were in flower.

I'm so sorry you are going through the deep pain of grief. Jordan was a lucky boy to be so loved by you.

[tdierikx]

It's been 6 years since my heart dog Woosie crossed to the Bridge... and I still cry for her every time I read about someone else's pain over sending their best friend there too.

The pain of your loss doesn't heal, but you learn to live with it a bit easier over time...

I was a complete mess for quite a while after Woosie passed, and still lose it when I think or talk about her. You need to grieve in your own way - and bugger what anyone else might say about it. If you want to go and scream at the sky, do it... if you want to curl up in a ball and wallow in your pain, do it. I used to sit on my back step with one or more of my other dogs and just howl like a dog... it helped me cope... and I don't care what the neighbours thought about it...

A piece of your soul leaves with such a dog - but you must also believe that they are also very much alive in your heart. Remember your friend well and know that they will be waiting for you to join them at the Bridge when your time comes...

T.

[raz]

I planted a Eucalyptus tree for my boy. It has grown well and is a healthy 5+ year old tree now. Somehow I find it consoling that it is his tree, I find it a peaceful place to reflect. I still have tears from time to time.

That's a beautiful idea.

Happypaws, nothing to add except to say you gave your old buddy a gift and let him wander off to rainbow bridge peacefully. Good on you. I hope you and everyone else who has sent their dogs off can reconcile your grief one day soon.

[Pretty Miss Emma]

Sorry for your loss.

I haven't lost a dog yet, but just thinking about it makes me want to cry (and going by how I've dealt with some of one of my girls heapth issues recently I will be a complete mess when that time may come).

With other animals I have had to PTS there have been 2 things that I/others have done that have made it just teensiest bit better. One thing, planting a tree/plant that you feel best represents them. I planted a butterfly plant for one of my pet rats that died because she always flitted about. When my first cat was PTS my Dad bought me a rock that had been painted as a cat - it's just something that I can always have that is little but it is the reminder of him and who he was and it can always move with me no matter where I go. Since then I've always made sure that I get "something" that I will always be able to keep and take with me no matter where I am living. These are the things that work for me.

But hang on to your happy memories, they will make you cry at first but eventually they will make you smile and laugh!

[cornell]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is definitely overwhelming especially when your pet has not been well for some time you tend to put a lot of loving energy into tending to them and when they are gone left with nothing but emptiness. It is true that when they leave they take a part of you with them.

The hardest part is all of the firsts that you are now experiencing, the first time you come home and he is not there to greet you or the first time you go to the shop and not buy any dog food.

This forum helped me a lot -

http://www.dolforums.com.au/index.php?showforum=19

in particular the gratefulness candles

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

and the virtual candle prayer ceremony

http://www.petloss.com/

We also planted a rose bush in his favourite spot in the garden.

Beware, it was during the candle ceremony that I came to the realisation that I needed another. This new dog cannot in any way replace my pet as he is so different but by golly he keeps me busy and brings way much more joy than I could ever have imagined. I am able to remember my pet with honor instead of so much devastation.

May this heavy fog be lifted from you soon so that you can freely remember your boy with feelings of happiness for having known such a beautiful soul.

He would want you to be brave just as he was.

[Cockerlover]

My heart goes out to you ,having just had my foundation bitch of 16 yrs laid to rest ,i know only to well the pain .

try consoleing yrself, that not only did you give yr friend a great life ,you also gave him the greatest gift of all, in the name of love & devotion you set him free ,to go with dignity & rest in peace with no more pain or suffering ,

Time heals ,

I wrote a tribute to my old darling & with each friend ive lost ive planted a rose to remember them by .

your friend has not, nor will ever leave yr heart,they all wait to welcome us when we meet again .

[Marion 01]

Happypaws I really feel for you, we lost quite a few of our oldies last year, we knew the time was coming for them, but it doesn't make it any easier. I have made up a memorial page of ours with pics of them on it, printed it out on glossy paper and laminated it, that way they are always there with you. I find this helps more than anything. I have also made a 2011 calendar of our Rainbow bridge kids, and it does bring comfort.

Marion01

[feistylady]

RIP Jordan and all our other little doggie friends, hugs to you HP I cry with you I am still shattered over the recent loss of Lochie each day just gets a little easier and then some days it jumps back up and gets you.

I plant native bushes or trees for my boys passed am also going to plant some bulbs for Lochie

[arctic.crocodile]

When my heart cat died I adopted a star (which was to help raise funds for the Mount Stromlo Observatory). Now, I can look up at 'his' star and know he is up there watching out for his big brother who is still down here with us. I guess everyone has there own way of 'dealing' but that helped (and continues to help) me.

'Say not in grief 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was'

Hebrew proverb

[Bundyburger]

For those that have lost 4 paws that were dear to them , what did you do that helped . Any helpful advice appreciated .

I'm sorry for your loss. :D I planted a Eucalyptus tree for my boy. It has grown well and is a healthy 5+ year old tree now. Somehow I find it consoling that it is his tree, I find it a peaceful place to reflect. I still have tears from time to time.

We did that for our old girl too and she passed away when I was 15, I'm now 23. Whenever I go to dads I go to her tree to say hello and have a bit of a cry. We didn't bury her there but her collar is buried with the tree.

[Beauie]

My sincere sympathy on your loss - I think a very good many of us have been in similar situations.

When one thinks about our beloved friends who had to leave us, a hard lump appears in the throat again and the tears flow.

After I farewelled a much loved mate, many years ago now - a dear friend sent me this poem -

"Just a darkness away"

I'm on my own now tonight,

for the very first time in my life

I feel a force, stronger than you

a constant calling of my name.

It's the first few steps you know,

like learning to walk all over again

and don't follow me here Ma,

this soil is too light for heavy words

I've given all that I can,

there's nothing more that I can do

now, your hearthound has to go

towards that bridge and beyond

over the colours and then

I was running above the darkness

running beneath the stars

running towards a light

warmer than your hands, Ma

brighter than your smile, Pa

and now I sit here

surrounded by eternity

Oh no, no, please don't cry

I have company

you all know who,

they are here

So. don't worry, Pa

and don't feel sad, Ma

just a darkness away

there is me

By Dirk Montery, Belgium - 1998

[JulesP]

Nothing really helps. But knowing that sort of helps. I've had pets go in their sleep and have given some their wings - neither was better. All my pets have been old when I've lost them. All over 15.

I've got pups after, I've got pups before knowing it was coming. Couldn't say I preferred one or the other.

The only thing that really helps is time softens it.

Reading threads like this shortly after is very bad.

Hugs to you.

[erinonthefarm]

I did the same as Labtested, planted a tree and got all my photos of my girl and framed my favs together. I let myself be a total mess and I spent a day packing up her things as it was too hard to look at. My family and neighbours were great shoulders to cry on but I asked my husband to let everyone else know that I was upset and didn't want to talk about it for a while.

I hope you find some peace in the knowledge that you were there for your dog when it mattered most, as others have said that is something only the luckiest of dogs have.

[erinonthefarm]

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.

I am not there. I did not die.

...Melinda Sue Pacho

[Everythings Shiny]

My oldest kelpie was nearing 20 when she was PTS. I was 16 at the time when her kidney and heart started giving up.

I took her to her vet, I vaguely remember sobbing my heart out in the consult room as the vet told me she was dying.

The vet got me to sit with her and let me say goodbye to her on my own. I felt guilty for weeks. I had started to ignore my young kelpie I had gotten a few months before as I couldn't look at her without seeing Tiny playing with her.

We buried Tiny on the farm, she has a tree planted with her and she is near her best friend who died a few years before her. I still quite often miss Tiny, but lately I find myself thinking that she is up in heaven, playing with Bess and my Dad is watching over her until I get there.

I've lost many pets over the last 21 years, some more devestating than others. It may not seem very easy, but with time, your emotional wounds will heal, leaving you with the memory of your beloved pet.

Take care, we're all here for you