I Think It's Time....

[ShesaLikeableBiBear]

Am sorry to hear about Abbi, only you will know when the time is right.

This may be of some help

http://www.dolforums.com.au/index.php?showtopic=68867

[Whippetsmum]

Danielle,

I am sorry that you are having to make this decision.

Trust that your love for your beautiful companion will lead you to the right decision at the right time.

[lils mum]

It's so difficult to make any kind of decision in these circumstances Danielle.

I've found this table to be very helpful in quantifying things

wishing you strength in a very difficult time

http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/vet-...life-scale.aspx

[Monah]

I'm so sorry. It is awfully tough. xxxxxx

that link is terrific lils mum. have printed it to keep, hope not to need it for many years..

[shena]

Danielle,

I hope today brings you some peace with your Abbi, and your thoughts.

After having to make the decision for a couple of chooks, cats and a heartdog in recent years, and in different circumstances, I think the best advice was given by NotSureWhich - Better a day too early than a minute too late.

To be able to make the decision for one so loved is both an honor and a curse, but it is one we take on as pet owners.

Be guided by your girl and by the vets, and know that she will thank you for letting her run free again at rainbow bridge when the time is right.

shena

[Kissindra]

so sorry you are facing this choice I dread this decision, we can only do what we feel is right and in the best interests of our beloved pets. It is never easy to say goodbye.

and an extra for you Greytmate - run free Goldie

[tdierikx]

Dannielle, I remember when I had to make the decision for my sooky Rotti boy... he had bone cancer in his neck and damaged it when jumping off the couch. I had the option of trying to treat his problem - which would be purely for my own benefit to give me more time with him - or to give him his wings... he got his wings because I couldn't bear to have him suffering just so I could have him longer...

Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried to give him more time.

It's the second guessing yourself that is actually the hardest part of these decisions - especially if the dog in question has good days and bad days...

Whatever you decide for Abbi will be the right decision at the right time, OK?

T.

[poodlemum]

I'm so sorry

You will know when the time is right, she will tell you.

I agree with this Danielle - the night before I had my foundation bitch PTS I had a dream about her - she said to me "I'm tired - let me go"

[Pollywaffle]

I'm not there yet..thank goodness...but can only reiterate what everyone else has said. I'm thinking of you.

[Arlizng]

I was there myself a couple of years back. i teared up just reading your post. it's a really hard choice. So

[westiemum]

Big Hugs Danielle and Abbi. I sooo dread being in your position - but I know it will come one day.

There are two posts which stand out to me in this thread:

Shena:

I think the best advice was given by NotSureWhich - Better a day too early than a minute too late.

.

I think this is just so true - hard as it is - as it means we've put the needs of the dog before our own.

The other one is from the ever wise one:

Whatever you decide for Abbi will be the right decision at the right time, OK?

T.

tdierikx nails it as usual - no need to second guess yourself - ever - as the decision you make for Abbi will be the best one.

Thinking of you both. Praying for you.

Edited January 8, 2011 by westiemum

[Danielle]

Thanks guys. You are all so incredibly kind and supportive, I'll need dol very much when she does go to the bridge. You guys are the only ones who even have the faintest idea of what I'm feeling, my family tell me to get over it and harden up....it's just a dog. So not what I need right now.

Well she ate yesterday for the first time in days, she woke up looking sprightly and obviously feeling a bit better and asked me for her breakfast. I was hesitant to feed her as I worried she would just chuck it ip again but she didn't. She devoured the whole lot and wagged her tail. She also went outside and spent some time with the pack which is something she hasn't done in ages. This is what I meant in my earlier post about her going up and down, she always seems to bounce back from the brink.

I'll monitor her over the next few days, if she crashes again I'll make the decision. As someone else said, don't plan it just promise that the next crash will be it. I've now made that promise and will stick to it, I won't set a day. I'll try to spend as much time with her as I can as I know it won't be long till she goes downhill again. We have spoken to our little girl and she is prepared. It breaks my heart to see her cry for Abbi but there is not much I can do at this point.

Thanks for the kind words and support, it means a lot to me.

[Michelleva]

Thinking of you and the family Danielle.

[tdierikx]

Big hugs to you and the little one... please let her know that Abbi will always be with her in her heart even if she can't cuddle her for real. Is she old enough to understand the Rainbow Bridge story? It may bring her a little bit of comfort knowing that Abbi will wait for her patiently at the Bridge until they can be together again...

T.

[Danielle]

Thanks t.

I've told her the story of the rainbow bridge and she seems to take comfort from it but still cries. She gets a bit upset as she still misses our BC Scrappy who was pts in 2008. But I've told her that Abbi and scrappy will take care of one another. Poor little bugger asked if it will hurt Abbi to die and it broke my heart. I told her no, it will be like falling asleep. I think it's hard for kids to fully understand death and comprehend it, so they get panicked. I'll just do my best for her and keep reminding her that she has Sophie (her toy poodle) who she can still play with and cuddle. Sophie is amazing with lili, they are glued to one another and joined at the hip. That little dog absolutely adores her and I'm glad we have her, she will be lilis biggest comfort I think.

[poodlemum]

Thanks guys. You are all so incredibly kind and supportive, I'll need dol very much when she does go to the bridge. You guys are the only ones who even have the faintest idea of what I'm feeling, my family tell me to get over it and harden up....it's just a dog. So not what I need right now.

Well she ate yesterday for the first time in days, she woke up looking sprightly and obviously feeling a bit better and asked me for her breakfast. I was hesitant to feed her as I worried she would just chuck it ip again but she didn't. She devoured the whole lot and wagged her tail. She also went outside and spent some time with the pack which is something she hasn't done in ages. This is what I meant in my earlier post about her going up and down, she always seems to bounce back from the brink.

I'll monitor her over the next few days, if she crashes again I'll make the decision. As someone else said, don't plan it just promise that the next crash will be it. I've now made that promise and will stick to it, I won't set a day. I'll try to spend as much time with her as I can as I know it won't be long till she goes downhill again. We have spoken to our little girl and she is prepared. It breaks my heart to see her cry for Abbi but there is not much I can do at this point.

Thanks for the kind words and support, it means a lot to me.

Danielle, the afternoon before I had my old girl PTS she actually got up off the couch & came outside - we were sitting outside having a few drinks with friends and she "did the rounds" and got pats from everyone - I truly believe she was saying goodbye

Edited January 8, 2011 by poodlemum

[cmkelpie]

Thanks t.

I've told her the story of the rainbow bridge and she seems to take comfort from it but still cries. She gets a bit upset as she still misses our BC Scrappy who was pts in 2008. But I've told her that Abbi and scrappy will take care of one another. Poor little bugger asked if it will hurt Abbi to die and it broke my heart. I told her no, it will be like falling asleep. I think it's hard for kids to fully understand death and comprehend it, so they get panicked. I'll just do my best for her and keep reminding her that she has Sophie (her toy poodle) who she can still play with and cuddle. Sophie is amazing with lili, they are glued to one another and joined at the hip. That little dog absolutely adores her and I'm glad we have her, she will be lilis biggest comfort I think.

So sorry you are going through such a hard time.

If you are interested there is a childrens book called 'Every Dog has an Angel' (Davies). A friend bought it for her daughter and it helped open up lines of communication for the two of them following the death of a pet. Have a read through and see if you think it is appropriate (I am not sure of how old Lili is), I have not read it so can't really recommend for ages. I just had a quick look on google and there appears to be a few that are along similar lines. Hope it helps x

Edited January 9, 2011 by cmkelpie

[gwenneth1]

I made a pact with my 30 year old boy (horse) and my lovely girl (My dog), that the decision to end their lives would be purely based upon their needs.

I would not let them linger one second for my sake, because I couldn't bear the pain of goodbye. When the time came, it was singularly the most difficult thing I've done to date. I so wanted to grasp at the straw offered sympathetically by the Vet. In the back of my mind I was thinking "yes, I could wait that three hours for that blood work..", but then I looked back into his eyes full of distress and let that unreasonable glimmer of hope go. He was going to die but it was up to me to say enough on his behalf.I kept my promise to him and totally thought of what was best for him. I don't regret that decision for a minute because he gave me so much in his lifetime, to release him from his pain was the least I could do.

My dog had bone cancer, skull being the primary site . Assessed by the Vet, nil treatment and she wasn't in any pain. We bought her home and she was her old self for about two months, then she started sleeping a lot and I knew it was the beginning of the downhill slide (ex nurse) so . We knew it was time.

I didn't feel guilty which may sound strange, because in my heart it was purely and utterly decisions made for them with love but it was sheer hell for us to say goodbye.

[cornell]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is such a difficult time but I am glad to hear that she is still wagging her tail.

This is a VERY personal decision.

I felt very strongly about not letting my boys go just because they no longer 'performed' like they used to. However, when the time came when they could no longer function at all I had no choice but to set them free.

I found it devastating and all consuming but I got some comfort from the gratefulness candles

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

and also from the virtual prayer service http://www.petloss.com/

May it all become crystal clear when the time is right as it did for me.

Best wishes, unfortunately there is no easy option.

[Little Gifts]

Danielle I made a big decision today re my old girl and I hope I don't regret it or that it causes her to deteriorate more quickly than she would normally.

Up until about 4 years ago my old girl (currently 16 years and 5 months) always used to sleep in the laundry at night. One very hot summer I brought all the dogs to sleep in my bedroom in the air cond and they have slept there ever since. My old girl drinks and pees a lot and that seems to have gotten worse after her recent turn. I reckon Thurs night she had me up 5 times to toilet and drink during my 8 hours of trying to sleep. Sleep is one thing I can't function at work without. I pretty much slept a full 24 hours from Friday night to catch up what I'd lost last week. So today, with a very heavy heart I made a decision. I went out and bought her a special bed and some waterproof mattress protectors for it and as of tonight she will be back sleeping in the laundry on the nights I have to work. I'll also put puppy training pads down so if she pees or poos in there it can be quickly cleaned up in the morning. And a night light for her so she can get used to her new surroundings with her poor vision (she still sees shadows). It means no more nappies for her at night which I think she'd prefer anyway (although I always take them off as soon as she goes in them and wipe her dry). The laundry has good circulation and is very large. It has two doors - one is right across from my bedroom doorway and the other is a half door so if she is too distressed I will be able to hear her. I'm going to sleep in there with her for a bit tonight to make sure she settles. I feel truly terrible and will feel even worse if she deteriorates because of it but I am not the nicest person to be around if I don't get my sleep so changing nappies and getting her on and off my bed throughout the night were not endearing her to me anyway and I don't want to lose my patience with her like that. I know she can't help it. She will still have nappies on while she is in the house at night before bed and on the days I don't work she can wear them and join us on the bed for a sleep in and cuddle. I have everything crossed that this isn't a bad decision for her.