Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Walking at the lake today, and Sash started playing up a bit cause there was a big rottie coming up behind her (she doesn't like big dogs walking closely behind her if she doesn't know them). So she stopped and sat to watch it go past, and I was mucking around with her telling her she was naughty and to come on in a joking way (knowing full well why she was doing it, and it's really not a big deal they usually just walk past us and then she gets up and is fine)... and the man started giving me a lecture about how I am not a good leader and how I'm doing everything wrong etc. I was, to be quite honest, a bit miffed that a stranger would say such things without knowing me, or my dog, or the work I have put into her. I have never professed to be the worlds greatest dog person - and Sasha has been a great challenge, but she we have seen such improvements and she has come so far that I was quite offended at this assessment. We're not perfect. But it's a constant learning curve and we try to improve everyday - but I also like to have some fun and allow Sasha to be a dog (ie, I do not require her to walk right at my left leg at ALL times like he said she should - I let her have a sniff and sometimes she walks a bit in front, sometimes at my side, sometime she lags behind), not hanging off every sound or movement I make. He proceeded to lecture me about the basics (which Sasha is well accomplished at). I'm a firm believer that not all things work for all dogs, you have to know a dog to know what approach will work... and we've done that with Sasha (and worked with a trainer who also understood that), even though not everyone has agreed with our methods... so for him to preach to me about what 'should' be done was quite annoying. Maybe he was just trying to be helpful (I know there are lots of things I could still do better)... and maybe I'm just suffering PMS... but I am upset that someone would make a judgement on us when he knows nothing about Sasha or her background, or how much work we've put into her to get her 'right', all from watching us for about 1 minute... I'm so proud of her achievements, and of how I've helped her get there... and this guy stuck his nose in and rained on our parade. He did have a lovely rottie though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diva Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Just tell him to mind his own business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 Just tell him to mind his own business. I should have... but I felt compelled to defend us for some strange reason and try to explain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conztruct Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Don't worry about it - maybe if he was aware of the full circumstances he wouldn't have been so judgemental. People are always giving feedback based on their assumptions but don't let it worry you - say thanks, and then think about whether any of it is relevant to you - if not, file it away in your mental bin. Unless it's particularly derogatory, it shouldn't be anything that worries or upsets you. He probably was trying to be helpful but like I said, he's made an assumption and isn't aware of all the details................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corvus Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 I have a waist pack I take walking with me that has a treat pouch and poo bags dangling from it, I have a clicker on my wrist and a tug toy in my hand... I find people assume I know what I'm doing because I have lots of gear. Someone yesterday asked me if I was like a dog whisperer or something. Lots of people think they are experts about everything. Did you know having a dog makes you an expert in dogs? I would say as the only one in the world that lives with Sasha, you're a world expert on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 I would say as the only one in the world that lives with Sasha, you're a world expert on her. Too right - absolutely 100%!!! Thanks for reminding me!!! That's made me feel SO much better There have been many times I've doubted my capabilities with Sasha, maybe that's why I took it so personally. But corvus, you've just reminded me that no one knows Sasha like I do. She's my constant companion, my shadow, my best buddy... and regardless what people say, I've done my best and will continue to do so, and am giving her a good life where she is finally settled and happy. That's what matters. I wonder if his rottie could weave in and out of his legs as he walks? It did stand on visual cue though, which was impressive (seeing I've just conquered stand - verbally - with Sash). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Flying Furball Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 I had that at a dog park once. The lasdy told me what I was doing wrong and that my voice was wrong etc and then proceeded to treat my dog without my permission. I was at the stage where I was seeing if my not reacting to other dogs made my dog more relaxed...hence I didn't stop him barking...mind you I had worked intensively for over a year with a number of tacts that had produced a lot of improvement. I was so annoyed by this woman I told her to nick off. i have heard she does this to a lot of people there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 I had that at a dog park once. The lasdy told me what I was doing wrong and that my voice was wrong etc and then proceeded to treat my dog without my permission. I was at the stage where I was seeing if my not reacting to other dogs made my dog more relaxed...hence I didn't stop him barking...mind you I had worked intensively for over a year with a number of tacts that had produced a lot of improvement.I was so annoyed by this woman I told her to nick off. i have heard she does this to a lot of people there Yep, that's the type I came up against today. So there's more of them? LOL. Maybe it was his wife? He told me a bit about his background (which has not included many years of training - that's a more recent thing), and what i felt like saying is that having a dog from a puppy and training them from the start and doing all the right things and growing a bond with them from a young dog (which he has always done) is actually quite different to acquiring a rescue dog that has a few issues and having to start from scratch, try to understand them and what makes them tick, and then to wipe the slate clean and re-teach most things. It's a VERY different thing that I have learned the hard way (but also SO rewarding and a big learning experience). He did preach to me about the virtues of only buying from registered, ethical breeders though (which I didn't mind at all, he can do that as much as he likes) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adza Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 I'd be defensive about it too. No one is perfect at the end of the day (most dog lovers are who treat their dogs right in my books and everyone has their own style) but some people have to show that they are better. By the way you described he worded his sentences seems rude to me. Fair enough if he was saying hello and started to talk and get to know you find out if anything wrong and then say he can give some tips then fine, but to approach you and lecture you I would have taken it the exact same way. There is a way to be nice to people but not many people follow that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxx'sBuddy Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 (edited) i let jaxx have a lazy walk where she can stop sniff etc. if i want to mentally tire her out then we do structured walking and she must heel....she knows the difference and can do both eta i think he was a bit of a know it all and stoopid enough to tell everyone Edited December 23, 2010 by Jaxx'sBuddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilly Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 There will always be someone telling you are doing it wrong… I remember being told in a proper "heal" the dog must be leaning against your leg while someone else told me it was a dominance thing and the dog shouldn't lean on you. Basically I think you should train your dog in a way that suits you. I don’t teach my dog to walk immediately at my side but rather to the left and don’t pull on the lead – I don’t care if he is slightly in front, beside or behind me just as long as he isn’t pulling. Next time just tell him to sod off and worry about his own dog ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 Looks like it's a common thing then... we've all come up against a know it all who would like to 'help'. He did say some valuable things (but stuff I already knew), but there were stuff that made me question his experience. For instance, he was telling me about how great his dog was to sit at the side of the road and doesn't move until he steps off with his left leg. I said Sasha does the same thing, but she has a verbal cue which is 'cross'. He said no that's wrong, you should use a word like 'heel' and you should use the same word for many things (I'm still trying to figure it out, but he sounded like he confused himself so I didn't push it). I said, well I have taught her the command heel, and it means for her to come from wherever she is and sit at my left side and wait for further instruction, so if I teach her heel to cross a road, she would be confused wouldn't she? And then I said does it really matter what I use, it works for us, she does as she is told so what's the problem? He then went on to his 'release' word (which I can't remember what he used) and I said my release word is 'go'. That was wrong too, and I said, well again, works for us. He seemed genuinely surprised (and a little disappointed) when he was lecturing on all these different topics and Sash and I have already covered them all. He also talked about the importance of giving visual cues in case they can't hear you, and I said well I train Sasha with verbal cues first, then teach her a visual one to go along with it (surely that can't be wrong too can it?). Also, I should have treats in my pocket 24/7 to reward her at all times. I said, I reward her enough - moreso through praise which she responds to just as well as food. But I want her to be able to listen to me without expecting a treat every time she does as she is asked - and not be solely reliant on food. He did mention that if Sasha leaned on me it was a dominance thing, but with Sasha - that is not the case. For Sasha, it is a comfort thing. He can argue the general behaviour all he wants to me, but it does not apply to us. So yeah, some of it was a little confusing (and I got the impression he was regurgitating stuff he'd been told by someone). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 To me, a real dog trainer knows the general behaviour of dogs, but also knows that not all solutions fit for all dogs. I did have to laugh when he said how many times do you ask her to sit before she sits? I said 'yeah she's pretty good with that basic stuff' and he said NO I asked how many times you have to ask her to sit before she does... so I looked at Sash and said SIT and she sat (thank GOD). And he said (with more disappointment)... oh, well if she doesn't, all you have to do is go up behind a dog and push firmly on the part between their bum and their knees and they will go down every time. He said, that's what I do to dogs that won't sit when asked. And I laughed and thought, you wouldn't want to try that with Sash though I could do it, but surely a man of his 'experience' would understand that some dogs would not like a stranger coming up behind them and 'forcing' them into a sit??? But as you can see I don't need to do that, she does as she is asked, she is obedient - we may never win a comp and she may not always do things first time - but she IS obedient and will do as I ask (except for recall LOL). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxx'sBuddy Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 you know i have trained jaxx to behave in a way that suits the way i live and we get alone famously. she hangs around and does what i ask her to do, she knows all the basics and she is allowed to be naughty sometimes. she isn't a highly dominant dog so i don't need to be "on" all the time and neither does she (i have had dogs like this in the past) so i train for my lifestyle and the dog and one size certainly does not fit all. he doesn't know you, or sasha nor does he know how you live and what you both need to live in harmony with each other. he has a little information which can make him dangerous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacqui835 Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Just tell him to mind his own business. I should have... but I felt compelled to defend us for some strange reason and try to explain... I know what you mean, I've been told all kinds of things like that my dog is too thin, that I'm too harsh or that he shouldn't be out at all because of his breed, and I always used to feel this need to try and make them see that I wasn't just wandering blindly here and my dog was happy. But they never listen - randoms who approach to lecture you are only interested in themselves and what they have to say, so now I just say ok or I'm not so sure about that but who knows and nod and talk to my friends again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 you know i have trained jaxx to behave in a way that suits the way i live and we get alone famously. she hangs around and does what i ask her to do, she knows all the basics and she is allowed to be naughty sometimes.she isn't a highly dominant dog so i don't need to be "on" all the time and neither does she (i have had dogs like this in the past) so i train for my lifestyle and the dog and one size certainly does not fit all. he doesn't know you, or sasha nor does he know how you live and what you both need to live in harmony with each other. he has a little information which can make him dangerous Very well said, wish I'd thought of this at the time! But you're right, I train Sasha to ensure both our safety, and that of the people that live around us. But I also like for her to be a dog, to be independant at times, and yes - she is allowed to be naughty sometimes (as long as it is nothing that will set her back or put anyone in any danger). I want her to be able to enjoy her walks without having to be 'on' all the time, it is for her enjoyment in my eyes after all. I like her to sniff around, to stop and look at the sights, the ducks, to check out things she is unsure of etc. She doesn't pull or anything, she comes to my side if i ask her to (eg if we are walking close to small children that may be scared, or through a group of people or dogs) so I'm happy with that. I actually feel better now... putting all of Sasha's accomplishments in writing has shown me that although we're far from perfect, I have done a pretty good job with her after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxx'sBuddy Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 it sounds like you have done well and she's a good dog...glad you are feeling better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 that he shouldn't be out at all because of his breed Now that's some seriously ignorant people... I did have a little girl (about 6) once walk past and say to her family 'that's a fat dog'. Sash had her food intake cut down from them... while she isn't fat, she is probably heavier than I'd like her to be. This man also bragged how well bred his rottie was (it was an extremely nice dog I must admit) but that he couldn't show it only because of a small white patch on the chest... and I was tempted to say - yes, well we were going to show Sasha too, but we couldn't find a class for 'large, gangly legged, oddly shaped mutts that no one else wanted'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kynta Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 'large, gangly legged, oddly shaped mutts that no one else wanted'. Sasha would definitely go BOB in this class. High praises for how well you have done with her. Rotties are very trainable. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 'large, gangly legged, oddly shaped mutts that no one else wanted'.Sasha would definitely go BOB in this class. High praises for how well you have done with her. Rotties are very trainable. Cheers Naaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww, she is feeling the love. And thank you for your support, such a lovely thing to say. When I first got her, no one had much faith at all (in either of us). But we showed them. ;) I love her just the way she is, full of character and sometimes mischief... but overall, a REALLY good dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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