Dogs & Relationship Break Up

[Beagle Mum]

Hi There,

Just wondering if anyone could give me some helpful advice on what is the best way to handle my unfortunate situation.

I am in the process of going through an awkward relationship breakup. Prior to meeting my now ex partner I had my beagle girl. When we started living together his brother also moved into rental accomodation with us and along came his dog.

Fast forward 2 years and the brother departed taking his dog with him. As I felt my beagle was now used to a constant doggy pal I asked my partner if we could get her a friend. As usual it was all left up to myself so along came the 2nd beagle - I took him from a family when he was 6 months as they didn't want him anymore.

That was almost 4.5 years ago.

I have always considered both dogs MINE - I feed them, I paid for them, they are chipped in my name and he has NEVER taken them to the vets. I have always taken them to the vets when required and paid the bill.

There is no dispute over the beagle girl - I had her before he even came along and he knows he would never get her.

However he is trying to claim the boy. I must admit he does love both dogs and he really bonded with the boy and is trying to say it is really 'his' boy.

During the initial stages of the relationship failing I contemplated allowing him to take the boy, but in my heart I knew I couldn't do it so did not say anything or even mention it.

I also feel that as they are like brother and sister it would be unfair to either of them to split them up - more so the boy as he was a bit traumatised when he first came to live with us - I feel it may unsettle him.

For the past 4 weeks as he decided to throw me out I have been staying with my parents as I source alternate accommodation. His theory was that if I was going to take the dogs then he wanted a few weeks with them. I agreed to this. Now the time is nearing for me to collect the dogs and he is still kicking up a fuss over the boy. I did tell him that I would not object to him having the dogs over for visits but he was less than impressed.

I have visited the dogs and they look sad - looking at me wanting to know when I am going to get them He is looking after them and feeding them etc. but I have noticed when I have been there the 2 of them are even sticking together even more, licking each others faces and cuddling.

Do I have any legal rights and is there any advice anyone can give me, These 2 beagles are like my children and it has killed me being apart from them for so long already.

[W Sibs]

break is hard enough, but this situation.. sux

Who's name on their registration papers? technically, that person has legal rights of the dogs.

[Souff]

Check with your solicitor. If you are the registered owner of both dogs then you should have a good case.

Souff

[Clyde]

Go and get the dogs now. Even if they are chipped in your name it can get ugly if he has possession of them.

[Beagle Mum]

My name on all paperwork - council registration, microchip, vet history.

His argument - just because I went and put it all in my name when we got him does not mean I love him more or he loves me more. He never once said he wanted the paperwork in his name and at the time he didn't object at all.

[W Sibs]

His argument means nothing.

They are your dogs.

Go and take them back.

[poodlefan]

Pay him off.

Chances are he's using this situation to hurt you. I'd be wanting them out of his hands ASAP.

[claireybell]

Get them back ASAP. Legally they are YOUR dogs.

When my ex and I split both dogs and cats were in my name. However it was a friendly split and we agreed that i would take the dogs and he would keep the cats (even though I still miss them every day).

[Keira&Phoenix]

GO AND GET THEM. You do not know if you will be able to get them back if you don't get them now! If he refuses to give them to you you may just have to call the police and make a report, that way he will have to return them to you as they are microchipped in your name hence legally yours and then HE would have to take you to court to try to get the male and it would be up to him to prove somehow that the dog is his or should be with him.

I am so glad when my long term relationship ended that my ex didn't worry about the dog because I would be devo without her!

[Beagle Mum]

Thanks guys. I know I am doing the right thing - will hopefully have them back soon. Was supposed to be in new rental by now - application for me and dogs all approved, but previous tenants decided to damage the place on their way out so waiting for repairs to be completed. But on big beagle proof fenced block - they will love it.

Parents beagle proofing their yard for temp arrangement and boss gave the ok for me to bring them to work with me if need be!

The worst thing is, I am not trying to be selfish as he thinks. If I honestly thought the boy would be better with him I would as much as it would kill me let him take him, but I know that he needs to be with his sister - it is not fair to split them up. His mentality 'they would get over it'.

[Sheilaheel02]

Go and get both your dogs as soon as possible. Collect proof of ownership papers and proof that you have paid their vet bills from your account etc.

If he has possession of the dogs and it gets messy, he may claim that you moved out and left them behind.

S

[Keira&Phoenix]

Thanks guys. I know I am doing the right thing - will hopefully have them back soon. Was supposed to be in new rental by now - application for me and dogs all approved, but previous tenants decided to damage the place on their way out so waiting for repairs to be completed. But on big beagle proof fenced block - they will love it.

Parents beagle proofing their yard for temp arrangement and boss gave the ok for me to bring them to work with me if need be!

The worst thing is, I am not trying to be selfish as he thinks. If I honestly thought the boy would be better with him I would as much as it would kill me let him take him, but I know that he needs to be with his sister - it is not fair to split them up. His mentality 'they would get over it'.

Good stuff Beagle Mum. Get them today if you can, the sooner the better. If he tries anything as I said before call the police and have them come and remove the dogs for you, they will do it as they are legally your dogs. Keep us up to date on whats happening!

[Beagle Mum]

Thanks Guys, Will keep you posted on details!

[BigPaws]

People can do some very silly things for revenge, I too would be getting them out of there ASAP. I'd be worried he might do something very nasty to one or both to get at you.

Can you just go there and take them when he's not home?

[JulesP]

Probably best to speak to a lawyer. If you were in a de facto relationship it is not as simple as 'this is mine, that is yours'. Much better if you can get the dog with his cooperation.

[Staff'n'Toller]

The permanent ID overrides all else.

[Pockets]

Gee some of you have branded this person as some sort of sadistic guy....

I think too many people put human emotions on dogs, any dog with time and care can adjust to a new situation

Isn't it fair to assume that he loves the dogs just as much as the OP ? and it would be as upsetting for him to part with him?

I sympathise with your situation and hope you find a happy outcome for all parties

[Dog_Horse_Girl]

My husband and I separated in August but continued to live under the same roof until last month. Initially I was taking Molly (my dog) and he was keeping Ruby (his dog) and Lilly (our dog together). Then he decided that they should all stay together and that I should take them...I was gob-smacked that he didn't want Ruby (his dog, remember). That he didn't want Lilly was less of a shock as we adopted her together and she would be happy pretty much anywhere with a couch!

This sounds like he could get nasty. I second the thought to get the dogs now. You're the registered legal owner. He should make a claim, if he has one, through the proper legal channels. In the meantime, they are your dogs so go get them.

You can PM me for support any time. I know what it's like to go through a break-up and mine was pretty good by all accounts. I just have a lazy ex who's a bit selfish in the mix, but of course he doesn't see it that way.

[benshiva]

Gee some of you have branded this person as some sort of sadistic guy....

I think too many people put human emotions on dogs, any dog with time and care can adjust to a new situation ;)

Isn't it fair to assume that he loves the dogs just as much as the OP ? and it would be as upsetting for him to part with him? ;)

I sympathise with your situation and hope you find a happy outcome for all parties :D

I tend to agree with this. I know people only have the OP's version of the situation (not that I'm suggesting it isn't the correct version) but doesn't he have ANY rights at all? I don't know and I feel bad for them both. A sad situation as someone is going to be heartbroken by the sounds of it

[yellowgirl]

It sounds like the dogs would be better off together. If necessary offer him money for the other dog so he knows you're not doing this to hurt him, you genuinely believe the dogs should be together.

When I split with my ex I took my white shepherd and mini poodle with me everywhere because I knew he would take the poodle and dump it. It was originally 'his' dog but the novelty wore off pretty quickly and the poodle became my dog. I had him registered and microchipped in my name from the beginning. Unfortunately I was so set on protecting the dogs that I forgot to have the locks changed and the ex cleared out the house while I was at work with the dogs . I still didn't care that much, the dogs needed to stay together and they were safe from him and that was the main thing.

Unlike my ex, it sounds like your ex may be geniunely attached to the dogs and it will be painful for him to part with them. Try to help him see that the dogs need to stay together and you're not doing this to hurt him. Would he be interested in going through rescue to help another beagle in need of a loving home? You were okay with leaving both dogs with him so I assume you see him as a good dog owner.

Good luck, I hope it all works out.