Grief When One Passes Away

[dogbesotted]

T&S I am so sorry for your loss.

Fly free Sam...

Tara will be grieving the loss of her lifetime companion. maybe a foster olderdog will fill teh void forher.

my two old dogs The divine miss Sophie and my glorious Jake passed within a week of each other.. Jakie just found battling dilated cardiomyopathy too hard after The divine One left us..

I secong the suggestion about a DAP diffuser..it has a very soothing and calming effect

hugs

Helen

ps A candle will be lit tonight to burn brightly in honour of your Sam

[griff]

awwhh T & S I am so sorry for your loss :D

sending you and Tara

[Tara and Sam]

I am trying not to dote on her too much

I am leting her come to me when she needs to , but keep a eye on her at the same time it's thigs like after she finishes her food she ( both of them ) normally checks the other ones bowl

and that lost look onher face

I;m going to try for some friends dogs or mum's dog to visit

as soon as can

sadly I am prepareing myself ( in case )

one question as not sure what to do

I am not ready to wash / remove / change Sam's bedding etc at the moment

I just cant seem to do it and probally dont want to yet

but should I do this for Tara or leave his scent still here for her ?

Thanks for the thoughts and hugs

[Dog_Horse_Girl]

I am trying not to dote on her too much

I am leting her come to me when she needs to , but keep a eye on her at the same time it's thigs like after she finishes her food she ( both of them ) normally checks the other ones bowl

and that lost look onher face

I;m going to try for some friends dogs or mum's dog to visit

as soon as can

sadly I am prepareing myself ( in case )

one question as not sure what to do

I am not ready to wash / remove / change Sam's bedding etc at the moment

I just cant seem to do it and probally dont want to yet

but should I do this for Tara or leave his scent still here for her ?

Thanks for the thoughts and hugs

That's a tough question...play it by ear...she will let you know when she's coping better and it may be sooner than you expect. Leave her environment as it is for the moment, just so there aren't too many changes/losses for her to deal with at once.

We can manage a heck of a lot more than we think we can, emotionally speaking. But there comes a time when every one of us reaches breaking point IF we don't take the time to feel our emotions and letting ourselves cry and feel sadness/grief is not the easiest thing to do when we receive messages of " be strong" and "hang in there". I know people mean well when they say these things but just feel what you need to feel and behave how you need to behave.

[poodlefan]

Rescue remedy for you and Tara.

Run free Sam.

[sas]

I am trying not to dote on her too much

I am leting her come to me when she needs to , but keep a eye on her at the same time it's thigs like after she finishes her food she ( both of them ) normally checks the other ones bowl

and that lost look onher face

I;m going to try for some friends dogs or mum's dog to visit

as soon as can

sadly I am prepareing myself ( in case )

one question as not sure what to do

I am not ready to wash / remove / change Sam's bedding etc at the moment

I just cant seem to do it and probally dont want to yet

but should I do this for Tara or leave his scent still here for her ?

Thanks for the thoughts and hugs

His scent would be all over the house not just on the bed so you can wash the bed when you're ready to.

[OSoSwift]

I agree with Sas wash his bed when you feel up to it. She will know he is gone and his scent will be all over.

It is hard to watch them when they have lost a friend and even harder when they are elderly. Give her some time you may find she improves over the next little while.

Sorry to hear about your mum, you have a lot on your plate. Don't feel you have to be strong or keep your chin up. If you feel like it have a dummy spit and a good cry because sometimes life isn't fair, then do it! Sometimes we all need to let it out.

Lots of hugs for all of you. Sending lots of healing vibes for your mum and for your on the loss of Sam. My girl Angel will take care of him for you.

[yellowgirl]

I'm so, so sorry to read of Sam's passing . It must be heartbreaking for you to watch Tara grieving for her best friend.

.... lillysmum I am wondering how much more I can cope with before I crumble down

panics are back bigtime at moment

....

Please try to take care of yourself, you have so much on your plate at the moment, especially as your mum is so unwell also. Things often happen all at once don't they? I'm so sorry for what's happening with you at the moment. Sending hugs and positive vibes to you and your family :D

RIP sweet Sam

[hyrola]

Very sorry for your loss. I lose my shepherd a couple of months back and it has devestated me. I have a new dog now but it still hurts so much.

[White Shepherd mom]

I am so sorry for your loss T&S. I have no advice but with my two dogs being 9 years old, I am starting to fret about what will happen when one goes too.

Big hugs to you and Tara and get well wishes for your mum.

[percyk]

oh im so sad to read your post

so much on your plate

firstly...hugs to your mum and the very best wishes for what lies ahead for her...

so sorry for your loss...it is very hard to go through this

but we all do it...time and time again

our dogs reacted differently to our old girl cocker passing

the most sensitive one was seemingly spooked..didnt want to frequent the area where we found her

the others showed little concern

theyre all much much younger and so the situation is different

from yours

cant really advise ..not from personal experience and at the moment i dont think that any of our males are bonded to each other....not in that close til- death- do- us- part way that is so gorgeous to witness between some dogs

i think theyd be ok about it all if one passed but you cant really tell

in your situation id make the old girl comfortable...emotionally...a bit more attention and keep her stimulated with walks

keeping her inside would indeed be a comfort

[Tara and Sam]

Glad I ask questions on here as I get answers that I dont think of espeically when mind is racing all directions at the moment

I tried to prepare OH a few years back about she would fret without Sam but he didnt believe it , now I think he is understanding it more

I had to go out today with my support worker ( suffer panic attacks and agrophobia ) to get some things done for Christmas as next week mum might be in hopsital depending on her tests this week etc

I asked OH to be back in time before I left as she cant be left alone at moment

and asked him to watch her closely and see how she reacts etc

yes he saw the way she sniffed and looked for Sam , so now he understands what I was trying to say before

he was concerned her lack of eating , so a small change in food has helped her eat a bit more today , so see how that goes in next few days also

I know he is haveing a hard time copeing , he not talking too much about it last two days

he had to go to vets today to pay for the cremation and urn and bring back Sam's blanket ( which they couldnt find ) and he asked to see Sam

They took him in and he had the chance to say another goodbye

I am not ready to move Sam's things yet , and didnt want another change for her , so they stay until she has adjusted abit more also

I have cried for days with both mum and then Sam and takeing time out for me also

I wrote my tribute to Sam and think it helped me alot doing that as had smiles , and been going back through photos when he was younger and had some good memories and smiles there also

Rescue remedy - where do people get it from ?

the bush flower one I have is almost empty

Yes it is heartbreaking to watch Tara :D

she just did the same thing outside tonight ,.just walked around sniffing and looking , then would come back to me and we would come back inside together

it seems to affect her more outside than inside , as when she inside she is my shadow

White Shepherd I was like that when I joined DOL I read posts and learnt things like let the other dog say good bye and how some can fret

great place for learning and asking for help in times like these , as others have gone though it and know how to help

Tara has always loved being inside close to me and food ( cockers love their food ) lol

Thanks again

[Okami]

:D

I am so sorry... for your loss...

x o x o

L.

[labsrule]

Terribly sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you - it must be so heartbreaking to not only have to deal with the loss of your beloved Sam, but also with the fretting by his lifelong buddy

Also so sorry about the news of your mum

I so dread the day when my oldest Lab boy's (will be 15 in March) time comes as my Lab youngster (14 months old) is deeply bonded to this boy as he buddied up with him the day I brought home as a 10 week old pup last December and he just idolises my oldest who has been so fantastic with him. Hopefully when that time arrives, he will at least have his other great buddy my 12.5 yr old lab boy .