How Do You Cope, When You Know Your Dog Is Dying

[newfsie]

I knew very shortly after we took him that he had advanced lymphoma, too late to treat.....i thought i would be fine and give him the time of his life. because his life had been so very bad.

He also had a fractured jaw and still has to be hand fed, because he cannot pick up food. The jaw has healed, but because it was not attended too, it is not properly aligned.

It does not seem to matter that we have not had him for years. We seem to have fallen hopelessly for him. But i find the sad feelings i have almost unbearable.

We try to make his life full, but the dreaded lump keeps growing and growing. he seems to have no pain. pooping,peeing and eating happily. it is those not happening, that I keep looking for that will tell me,

I have to let him go.......i have spoken with the vet, he says i will know. But it is so hard, so da.... hard to adore this dog and watch him die.

He is so happy, friendly and gregarious. he loves to play and also sit with you quietly and look up at you adoringly. i know he does not know and i am trying to be happy for him.

Who could have left this gorgeous boy at the shelter and hurt him so..........

So on a lighter note, i thought i would share some pics of him playing with his "girls"We took some pics whilst the pack was having their morning rumble after they had been to the dam........The dogs are filthy, but having so much fun

thought i would show you Tobias enjoying life

The pack.........

So you wanna play?

Toby and Annabelle

Toby helping Tessa and Kate has a mad moment

Tessa still in trouble and Annabelle "who me?"

Annabelle doing her ver best to keep control of her pack, maybe?

Toby loves playtime

Mad Zoomies of Katy and Annabelle

Tobias

Edited December 4, 2010 by newfsie

[Sezy]

It sounds like you are doing everything you can. It is hard but he looks happy and loved.

You will know when the time is right. Hugs.

[raz]

It is hard but he looks happy and loved.

t looks like he's having a ball!

Gee it must be tough on you, though.

[gillybob]

Its very hard to understand how humans can be so cruel.

May he have a wonderful time with his family, and go gently in his sleep.

[Snoopy21]

I don't think there is an easy way do this. It sucks because you care so much. The only way to make it easier would be not to care anymore, and I can see that isn't an option for you and Toby. For now he is happy and pain free which is awesome. Try and enjoy these good days, and love him while you have him. I can see how it is breaking your heart knowing that you will lose him sooner than you should, but in reality that can happen with any dog - sometimes they are taken too soon. Toby is just beautiful, and I can feel your love for him shining out of posts. I hope he keeps you smiling for a while yet.

[sas]

I'm so sorry about your precious boy, enjoy the time you have with him as you'll always treasure it.

[Souff]

By acknowledging and looking forward, you are already coping in your own way and you will be given strength and love to cope with what ever lies ahead. As the vet said, you will know. A couple of thoughts came to my mind as I read about Toby and looked at his photos. We are all on the same path, but some of us, like Toby, will arrive before others. So while we are all on that same path we need to make the most of each and every day of the journey. You have had the loan of an angel but because he was just that little bit more special, he will be with you for less time than the other angels you have there. Special angels bring with them special gifts to teach us and sometimes we dont even realise it until we can look back. Enjoy every moment of the current phase when he can run around and do zoomies, and in his own special way he is teaching his pack, as many have done before him. He is loved, he is loving, and he will be long remembered. Share the love that Toby has given you and be at peace with yourself. He is a beautiful boy and you have been blessed to have had him as part of your life. Take very good care of yourself and your loved ones, because that is what he will want you to do.

Souff

[perfect partners]

I knew very shortly after we took him that he had advanced lymphoma, too late to treat.....i thought i would be fine and give him the time of his life. because his life had been so very bad.

He also had a fractured jaw and still has to be hand fed, because he cannot pick up food. The jaw has healed, but because it was not attended too, it is not properly aligned.

It does not seem to matter that we have not had him for years. We seem to have fallen hopelessly for him. But i find the sad feelings i have almost unbearable.

We try to make his life full, but the dreaded lump keeps growing and growing. he seems to have no pain. pooping,peeing and eating happily. it is those not happening, that I keep looking for that will tell me,

I have to let him go.......i have spoken with the vet, he says i will know. But it is so hard, so da.... hard to adore this dog and watch him die.

He is so happy, friendly and gregarious. he loves to play and also sit with you quietly and look up at you adoringly. i know he does not know and i am trying to be happy for him.

Who could have left this gorgeous boy at the shelter and hurt him so..........

So on a lighter note, i thought i would share some pics of him playing with his "girls"We took some pics whilst the pack was having their morning rumble after they had been to the dam........The dogs are filthy, but having so much fun

thought i would show you Tobias enjoying life

The pack.........

So you wanna play?

Toby and Annabelle

Toby helping Tessa and Kate has a mad moment

Tessa still in trouble and Annabelle "who me?"

Annabelle doing her ver best to keep control of her pack, maybe?

Toby loves playtime

Mad Zoomies of Katy and Annabelle

Tobias

Oh Newfsie I am so, so sorry to hear that - it's brought tears to my eyes too. It seems to have been a terrible last few months for Newfs and those that love them. Your photos are just lovely - I can't imagine any dog having a better life than yours do. I can't understand how anyone can be cruel to defenceless animals either, especially a beautiful boy like Toby. At least he is having a wonderful time now. I don't think there's anything anyone can say to ease the pain, it's the price we pay for loving them so much, although Souff's post was lovely.

[Danielle]

Oh Souff, that last post of yours made me break down, you have a wonderful way with words. Sitting here at the computer crying. Im so sad for you Newfsie and Toby.

I cannot add anything further to what Souff has said, but I can offer you my deepest sympathy. Take each and every day as it comes and enjoy him, he sure is a beautiful baby.

I know I will have to face this myself very soon, my beloved Smithfield "Abbi" has a brain tumour and will soon be joining my Border at the Rainbow Bridge. It is very hard to see them go downhill everyday, but I thank god that i am aware she is going, I have had time to adjust and be at peace with what the future holds. I lost my border very quickly and had no time to deal with it so it was a lot harder.

Spoil him and give him everything, that is what Im doing with my girl, there are no rules for her anymore, she eats what she wants, sleeps where she wants and we are joined at the hip 24/7 now. She comes in the car everyday, eats roast chook, enjoys my pillows and gets massages every night. I kiss her face all the time, no matter if she is muddy, slobbery or stinky. We move around her now, she is the center of attention and the heart of the house. She is really enjoying her time left with us.

Sending you and Toby big hugs from me and my pack. Take care and keep us up to date with how he is.

Danni. xxx

[4Kelpies]

Toby is not dying from cancer. He is living with cancer and thoroughly enjoying his life at present. There will come a time when he is not enjoying life any more and you will know when to step in and end his pain. Right now he is happier than he has ever been before, treasure these times. His life is so much better than it would have been if he hadn't met you.

My Ruff has just turned 15 and was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago. He has beaten the odds and had a great 5 years but I know our time together will be ending soon. It is heartbreaking to lose a loved dog. Our time with them is so short. But it is wonderful to have them in our lives however short a time that might be.

[Monah]

I am so sorry. You have such lovely dogs, wonderful photos. Tobias is one of those very special dogs that come into your life. I have to say Iwould not cope either. Other posters have said wonderful and comforting words and I agree with them, even though it makes things no easier. Thank goodness for you! Tobias has the absolute best love and care he could ever have dreamt of. He looks incredibly happy

I have been in a similar situation and found only by spending every minute possible with the dog was my way of coping.

This did not make things any easier, but it did give me some comfort later.xxxxx

Danielle, I lost a dog to a brain tumour too, I''m very sorry ,xxxxxx

[asal]

there is a vet near north ryde that work in collaboration with engenic and their success rate against lymphoma is amazing anyone who wants to give their dog a chance at total cure. they already have theruns on the board.. its called nano cell technology

Lane Cove?

and brain cancer is the one they are working on now.. have 2 dogs tested totaly gone in mri scans still cancer free 2 yrs on, they were so affected they could barely control themselves when treatment began

Edited December 4, 2010 by asal

[Ons]

when the bad days far outweigh the good days. When the medication that Toby has is so strong that he is sicker from the medication than the cancer and you know that the medication will only have to get stronger and stronger.

These are the guides that I used for my little maltese who had a heart condition and cancer. I think I let her go to the Bridge too soon but in my heart I know that it was the right time the only alternative was stronger medication and she reacted very badly to any medication. My Aunty says that she let her Rosie live a week longer than she should have for her own selfish reasons and that she has never forgiven herself.

Take comfort that you have taken Toby in, given him love, a warm bed, good food and given him playmates and I think that you will know when the time has come for him.

What a beautiful post Souff

Hugs to you Newfsie

[labsrule]

When a much loved pet is diagnosed with a terminal illness it is quite simply the most shattering and devastating news you will ever receive about your beloved petl. To know that their life will be cut short by a terminal illness that no treatment will ever cure, maybe buy some extra time only, and that ultimately you may have to PTS this beautiful animal that you love so dearly is cruel beyond words. The emotional rollercoaster that you go on can turn your life upside down and inside out and hurt so bad that you feel at times you just cannot cope, but you do, as you have to be strong and be there for your beloved animal in their time of need.

I went thru this last year when my beloved black lab boy was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma Cancer a few months before his 10th birthday and the pain I felt was unlike any I have experienced. I had raised him from a 16week old beautiful puppy and he was the love of my life and we had an extremely deep bond and to know that this aggressive cancer was going to kill him and that I would have to make the decision of PTS tore me apart .

Life is just so unfair at times and the sadness of having a beloved pet with a terminal illness can be just overwhelming. I think I cried more in the 5months from my boy's splenectomy operation, subsequent terminal diagnosis and then his passing than I have in my entire life and I have had other great losses of beloved dogs and humans during my lifetime, but this boy was just very special to me and had such an impact on my life and I will never ever get over losing him, particularly this way I miss him every single day

Just continue loving and enjoying your beautiful boy and take each day as it comes, and know that even though you may lose him and his time with you may have been short, it has probably been the happiest of his life and when his time comes you will be strong and be there for him and do what is right for him as that matters the most, even if it is the hardest thing you have to do in your life

I am not sure if you have ever had to PTS any dogs before but I will try to find a doc that may help you on when it is the right time to make the decision to PTS which I received from the wonderful supportive holistic vet that was treating my boy along with his Oncologist. I organised for her to come to my home to PTS my boy when his time came :D and she was just so wonderful, treating my boy with so much respect, tenderness and care which I will never forget.

I remember reading your posts when you initially took this beautiful boy on and the subsequent diagnosis of his illness and I thought how lucky is this beautiful boy to have found such a wonderful, loving Newfie home with you and your human and Newfie family to spend his remaining time in. He deserved nothing but the best and he got it and know what a wonderful time he is having with your family and that he got to experience such love, wonderful care and great times with his new Newfie friends when he has needed it most You just need to look at the photos of him having such a wonderful time with his playmates ;) Thinking of you during this difficult time

Edited December 4, 2010 by labsrule

[corvus]

I remember trying constantly to judge the ratio of good moments to bad moments in my old girl's life, anxious to make the best decision for her. Everyone told me I would know, and I didn't know whether to believe them or not. How would I know? They reassured me that my job was to love her and because I did love her I would know.

I knew. But I also realised that if I'd made the same decision a month earlier, it would have been the right decision then. If I'd held on another month, it probably would have been the right decision then, too. I gave her wings when she was still capable of experiencing happiness, and I believe it was the right thing to do. I didn't let it get so bad she was hardly ever happy. She died surrounded by people that had loved her all her life and I will always treasure that moment when I felt all the pain leave her body. I only wish I could be guaranteed the same when it's my time.

[newfsie]

Thank you Everyone for just simply caring for my dog It actually really helps to hear from people who care and do not think of him as just a dog, because he isn't he is Tobias......At my work, even though i am in the Human health Care professions, everyone says he is just a dog.

I have had to PTS dogs before, due to old age and sudden failing health. But never have i had so long to think about it and watch such a beautiful dog, who is happy and adoring, and know he has not got long to live. My vet is a caring man and he will help.........we will be there with him, we always have been

i just wish i could make him better for longer. he just deserves so much better. For now our life is all about Toby. he loves to come along for rides and loves to go to Obedience, just to visit everyone.

If he is OK, we will take him to the Break-up Party. So he can be loved and adored by his fans, he has quite a few.

Thankyou......you all have made me feel a little better, because you care about Toby

[*Avanti*]

What a beautiful boy. Cherish the time left, your love will probably keep him here longer.

[Loving my Oldies]

i just wish i could make him better for longer.

It is a question my previous vet and I used to ponder: do dogs have a concept of time and remembrance of a previous life? By previous life, I mean, the previous home/s they came from before they ended up in a pound or rescued. I rescued a little mini foxie who was at death's door and had she no have been rescued and treated would have been dead in days. My vet used to wonder if she remembered how sick and how much pain she was in and could think how much better she felt being in a loving home and having her illnesses treated.

Obviously dogs and other animals have instinctive memory: they remember being afraid when a hand is raised, they remember being happy when the toys come out for play. But can they consciously think about how happier they are "now" and how awful their lives used to be and make a comparison. Well I don't think we can say one way or the other.

Your posts about Tobias are some of the most heartwarming ever, Newfsie, and the photographs are testament to the wonderful lives they all have. If one of them was to drop dead as we speak, he/she would die a completely happy animal.

I know your sorrow is that Tobias has not had a longer happier life apart from the time he has spent with you and that you have come to love him immensely.

When he is gone, you will look at leaves photographs and know that, whatever went before, in his final months/year/s, he had the best life a dog could.

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

I struggled when my poor little foxie from a most terrible background was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I had only had him for 18 months or so. He had some behavioural issues but I coped with them because I loved him. When he started suffering symptoms with his brain tumour, I held on for as long as I could. I cried so much because it was so unfair but in the end I had to let him go, once I felt it was too much.

The difficulty was that he had some good days and some bad and the day I'd made the appointment, he was having a good day, all the way to the vet he was as happy as Larry. I nearly picked him up and ran out of the vets, I was in such turmoil and filled with guilt even though it was really my only course of action.

It was so unfair, as in your case. It is much harder to let them go when they've had rotten lives.

Hugs to you, it isn't fair but make his last weeks or months as happy as you can. He knows he is loved now, and that's what has made the difference.

[Alibi]

Hugs to you. You will know when its time. I recently went through this with one of my dogs who had a brain tumour, it was hard knowing she was on borrowed time but i could see she was still having fun so i just wanted to enjoy that while i had her.

Good luck