Moselle Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 I know that I am not one of the most popular posters here, in fact a few of you would love the day that I am never heard of again. Still I am feeling compelled to post at a moment when I am grieving the unexpected loss of my heart dog....my golden retriever. I can only hope that at moments like these we can all put our disagreements aside and realise that, at the end of the day, we all have the one thing in common and that is the love for our pets. Okay, where do I start....I had Sophie since she was 8 weeks old, I purchased her from a very ethical breeder and she was my heart dog, never did she show a nasty side, she was the epitome of a great dog....a loving disposition, no aggressive bone in her body...her tail forever wagging...I so loved her with all my heart and soul. She was quick to learn what was expected of her, never a hassle from that girl, a heart as big as the universe. Yesterday I noticed that she was acting a little differently, quieter than her normal self....at feeding time she still ate but not as much as she would normally eat, she didn't come up to me for cuddles, she just lied there....I thought to myself that something was amiss and made a point of keeping a very close eye on her.... Today I approached her for the 100th time to see if there was any sign of improvement, I had hoped that 24 hours on she would have snapped back to her usual self....but instead of coming to me for cuddles and that tail wagging furiously, she just sat there. I immediately came in and rang the after hours number of my local vet, told him that my sophie was out of sorts and that I wanted her to be looked at. Okay, 20 mins later I was at the vet's. He took her temperature and said it was slightly elevated, he started to feel her abdominal area and said he felt that she had a large mass and asked if I agreed to an ultrasound....I didnt hesitate. Anyway, the conclusion, to my shock and horror, was that she had a large cancerous tumour near the spleen. I asked if it could be removed along with the spleen given that dogs along with humans can survive without a spleen.....he said that he did not feel she would survive the operation, he suggested that if I was adamant in wanting to go ahead with exploratory surgery he would go ahead with it but he didnt feel this was in Sophie's best interest as she wouldnt have survived the surgery, he said, in no uncertain term that she was dying. He said the most humane thing to do was to have Sophie put to sleep. I didnt feel I had a choice and I could not bear the thought of Sophie suffering so Sophie was sent to the rainbow bridge, she went away peacefully. I asked the vet to cut a snippet of her coat so I could take it home with me. Before coming home I just had to go to the nearest booze shop and purchased a bottle of bourbon; I so hate the stuff and given that I barely touch booze it wasnt easy to have a few guzzles. My hubby loves his bourbon and cola, I can hardly tolerate the stink of that. It sure helps with easing the pain of grief and shock but I know that when the effects wear off I will be back to square one, having to come to grips with the loss of my beloved Sophie. LOVE YOU FOREVER, MY DARLING GIRL SOPHIE, RIP and thank you for 8 magnificent years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tlc Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 Oh no so sorry for your loss. Did the vet say why he didn't think she would survive the op? Was the tumour too big? How old was your girl? We just never know when things like this are going to happen, so sad. Im sure she is at peace and out of pain now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parkeyre Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 Sleep Sweet Sophie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyd Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 Oh Moselle I am so sorry for your loss Losing your heart dog is never easy and when you are not prepared for it, even harder Run free dear Sophie :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leroy Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 What a terrible shock, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Run free at the bridge Sophie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sallyandtex Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 I know that I am not one of the most popular posters here, in fact a few of you would love the day that I am never heard of again. Still I am feeling compelled to post at a moment when I am grieving the unexpected loss of my heart dog....my golden retriever. I can only hope that at moments like these we can all put our disagreements aside and realise that, at the end of the day, we all have the one thing in common and that is the love for our pets. Okay, where do I start....I had Sophie since she was 8 weeks old, I purchased her from a very ethical breeder and she was my heart dog, never did she show a nasty side, she was the epitome of a great dog....a loving disposition, no aggressive bone in her body...her tail forever wagging...I so loved her with all my heart and soul. She was quick to learn what was expected of her, never a hassle from that girl, a heart as big as the universe. Yesterday I noticed that she was acting a little differently, quieter than her normal self....at feeding time she still ate but not as much as she would normally eat, she didn't come up to me for cuddles, she just lied there....I thought to myself that something was amiss and made a point of keeping a very close eye on her.... Today I approached her for the 100th time to see if there was any sign of improvement, I had hoped that 24 hours on she would have snapped back to her usual self....but instead of coming to me for cuddles and that tail wagging furiously, she just sat there. I immediately came in and rang the after hours number of my local vet, told him that my sophie was out of sorts and that I wanted her to be looked at. Okay, 20 mins later I was at the vet's. He took her temperature and said it was slightly elevated, he started to feel her abdominal area and said he felt that she had a large mass and asked if I agreed to an ultrasound....I didnt hesitate. Anyway, the conclusion, to my shock and horror, was that she had a large cancerous tumour near the spleen. I asked if it could be removed along with the spleen given that dogs along with humans can survive without a spleen.....he said that he did not feel she would survive the operation, he suggested that if I was adamant in wanting to go ahead with exploratory surgery he would go ahead with it but he didnt feel this was in Sophie's best interest as she wouldnt have survived the surgery, he said, in no uncertain term that she was dying. He said the most humane thing to do was to have Sophie put to sleep. I didnt feel I had a choice and I could not bear the thought of Sophie suffering so Sophie was sent to the rainbow bridge, she went away peacefully. I asked the vet to cut a snippet of her coat so I could take it home with me. Before coming home I just had to go to the nearest booze shop and purchased a bottle of bourbon; I so hate the stuff and given that I barely touch booze it wasnt easy to have a few guzzles. My hubby loves his bourbon and cola, I can hardly tolerate the stink of that. It sure helps with easing the pain of grief and shock but I know that when the effects wear off I will be back to square one, having to come to grips with the loss of my beloved Sophie. LOVE YOU FOREVER, MY DARLING GIRL SOPHIE, RIP and thank you for 8 magnificent years. :D That's really sad. I can't express how sorry \I feel for you, and I am sure many other DOLers have an idea where you are at the moment. You made the right choice and let her free of pain. Yes, the alcohol will wear off, and you will have to deal with the grieving process in your own time. RIP Sophie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheridan Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 I am very sorry to hear of your loss, Moselle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moselle Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 Oh no so sorry for your loss. Did the vet say why he didn't think she would survive the op? Was the tumour too big? How old was your girl? We just never know when things like this are going to happen, so sad. Im sure she is at peace and out of pain now. Thank you tlc. Sophie was 8 yo. The worst part of it is that it was so unexpected as she was as active as ever, her appetite was great....no signs of anything being wrong with her, only yesterday she was a little quieter than normal. The last thing I was expecting was a large cancerous tumour. Gosh, owning pets is without doubt a pleasure and I could not imagine life without a dog or two....but it doesnt come without its fair share of anguish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moselle Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 I read every post of yours and thank you so so very much for your beautiful and kind words, I will never forget this moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadesamara Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 Moselle, I am so sorry for you. I know how much it hurts, and it feels as though you will never get over it. I still tear up over losing my heart dog Jade on 31/3/10. I'm glad you have your husband/family around you at this time. Take care. :D Sophie, you are free from pain now. Rest in peace, sweet girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeeGee Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 That's so sad. Run Free, Sophie , :D Sophie was with her mum as she left to go over the bridge ....you couldn't have done more to help her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ash&elar Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 So so sorry!!!! :D RIP beautiful girl xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moselle Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 :D :) Thank you everyone, I so needed this. You just cannot imagine just how much your words mean to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tlc Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 Oh no so sorry for your loss. Did the vet say why he didn't think she would survive the op? Was the tumour too big? How old was your girl? We just never know when things like this are going to happen, so sad. Im sure she is at peace and out of pain now. Thank you tlc. Sophie was 8 yo. The worst part of it is that it was so unexpected as she was as active as ever, her appetite was great....no signs of anything being wrong with her, only yesterday she was a little quieter than normal. The last thing I was expecting was a large cancerous tumour. Gosh, owning pets is without doubt a pleasure and I could not imagine life without a dog or two....but it doesnt come without its fair share of anguish. You are spot on with those words, it is so hard to see them so full of life one minute and gone the next, you will have a tough time ahead of you, Big hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 :D Over many years I have lost 2 dogs to cancer & last year my 11 year old cat. The feeling is awful & you feel so bloody helpless. Try not to focus on this time when you have got over the shock a bit. What helped me was to remember all the happy times & to know they were loved & did not know what a hard life or bad day was in all of their lifetimes. They are always in your heart forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebanne Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 so sorry to read this. One of my friends went through the same thing, dog was older, just didn't seem quite right, huge mass found. It's never easy to lose your best friend but when it's so unexpected................ At least Sophie had her Mum with her, to do the right thing by her Rest easy now Sophie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerJack Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) I lost my own boy Jack in May to this same cancer. Splenic haemangiosarcoma is very aggressive and so nasty. Goldies were listed among the breeds it occurs most commonly in when I researched it. Jack was only nine and very active. I chose not to wake him up from surgery. When he was opened up the vet found that it had spread all through his belly and was bleeding badly. It was kindest to let him go. The most he would have had if I'd taken him home was a few weeks and those would have been weeks of constant pain, he was losing so much blood from the tumours. The hardest thing was rationalizing how fast it had happened. One minute he was racing at flyball and the next he was gone. I understand what you are feeling right now. So sorry. At the time I felt guilty, like should I have tried chemotherapy or something but now, especially after the research I did, I know that taking him home to die would have been just for me, it is a nasty thing to die from so letting him go was best even though it was hard on me. It is such an aggressive cancer that even with all possible treatments survival beyond diagnosis is only a few months. You did the kindest thing. Edited November 13, 2010 by TigerJack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9angel Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 As I read your story I have tears streaming down my face. It reminds me of what happened to my girl Cassie 2 years ago. She was 7. I am so sorry for your loss Moselle. It just rips your heart out I know. It especially comes as a shock when you think it is something minor and it turns out much worse. My thoughts are with you at this sad time. R.I.P. run free now girl :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rexiam Posted November 13, 2010 Share Posted November 13, 2010 I am so sorry to read of your loss. RIP Sophie :D When Rex my 2 year old Retriever (who was my heart dog) was PTS last year after going in for exploratory surgery I was numb for many days. to you. It is the biggest shock. I never got to say good bye to Rex as we gave him a pat and thought he would be ok after the surgery. I never realised it was my last pat. he was PTS on the table. You were lucky to be with Sophie til the end. She knew that you loved her and how lucky she was to have you to the very end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now