Grieving Dogs

[Purpley]

Hi there,

We lost our girl Jorja a week ago today, and Billy is really struggling. He just lays around moaning. He is getting RR and a trauma homeopathic spray also. He is still eating, but just won't stop screaming and crying. I had to get some valium from the vet just so that I could get sleep at night.

I don't know what to do - anyone have any suggestions at all??

He is 2.

Edited October 14, 2010 by Isiss

[Little Gifts]

This is so very sad. My old girl has always struggled when we've lost a dog from the pack and whilst some would probably say not to molly coddle them to make it worse and to just go about things normally I know I spent a lot more time with her while she was grieving. We had lots of one on one and I used the time to do more nurturing things - lots of massages and talking to her and doing more activity with her. After her last loss she turned into a really old dog overnight and after almost 2 months we got another rescue pup who has stayed. It made a huge difference to her and she spent lots of time mothering and playing with it. We have since got a third dog into the house. I think she is a dog that is used to being in a pack. If getting another dog is not an option what about some play dates or starting some new training with Billy to give him a new focus?

I'm sure others on here will have some sound advice for you.

[persephone]

How sad..

I would suggest contacting These folks ASAP.

Meanwhile- if you can.. don't try and comfort him with cuddles etc.. do your normal routine as much as you can.. walks, etc. and try & stay away from him at other times It's hard, but while we can cuddle distraught humans and it helps.... with dogs, cuddling etc when they are feeling so bad, just means they are being rewarded for acting that way.

I hope the link leads you to some help

Edited October 14, 2010 by persephone

[JulesP]

When my old dog Moss died my remaining dog pretty much lay on her bed and looked like she was willing herself to die. I went into a fairly frantic search for a new pup. Pup arrived and Fern picked up a bit and finally recovered.

Hugs to you and Billy.

[hilaryo]

So sad...

Hope someone can help poor Billy as it must be killing you to see him so unhappy.

[spottychick]

When my dear little girl lost both her buddies within a year she was clearly distressed and sad. I DID give her lots of cuddles and more attention than usual - it wasn't a question of "rewarding" - she was sad and wasn't looking for rewards or approval. She was missing her companions and the interaction with them. So she was lonely for the company. I filled in a bit more for them so that she didn't feel so alone.

So I approached it more like puppysniffer - but not ALL the time. She got attention sometimes and other times I just ignored her (like I normally do with dogs).

She also got taken for walks and otherwise treated normally - but I had no problem with letting her be sad and express it. She got over it in her own time with the help of the arrival of the lunatic Tango hee hee and she now has two buddies in her life - she's actually starting to be more like her old self. The hardest thing for her I think is how she had to adjust to being sort of boss dog when she was always happy being the loved and protected "bottom" dog.

She didn't scream at night or anything tho. I wouldn't have encouraged that. I'd just say a quick "It's okay Pepper" and let her alone.

I also think the best thing in the early days was when I spent time with her on long walks. She would seem a lot happier and settle easier when we got home. Often I went with a friend and her dog so that helped too.

[persephone]

I also thinks long walks ..especially to new and interesting places gets the nose going and processing info in the brain The physical exercise helps as well .

Smiling here at Spottychick's mentioning Tango.... he would have certainly changed the dynamics! LOL!

[Loving my Oldies]

When my dear little girl lost both her buddies within a year she was clearly distressed and sad. I DID give her lots of cuddles and more attention than usual - it wasn't a question of "rewarding" - she was sad and wasn't looking for rewards or approval. She was missing her companions and the interaction with them. So she was lonely for the company. I filled in a bit more for them so that she didn't feel so alone.

Exactly. Too many people "paint by numbers". We are dealing with living, breathing, emotional creatures. They need comfort, love and attention and surety.

[Purpley]

I haven't been over compensating, but will give him cuddles when needed. We are off to Adelaide in the morning for a dog show, so I am hoping that the distraction might help.

We have been staying active, walking, swimming etc.

I just wish I could fix him

Another dog isn't what I want at the moment, but if this continues it might be the only option.

[persephone]

Isiss- have you thought about a D A P diffuser? I've not used one, but think they seem a very good idea .... Some info HERE

Hope all goes well at the show

[Starkehre]

Oh Isiss, I am so so sorry to hear about Jorja passing.

I have no further advice to offer, but it must be awful for you seeing Billy so upset.

I think your trip to Adelaide might help.

Hugs to you.

[mita]

First, I'm so sorry about Jorja's passing.

And second, I've been in the same position when one of our tibs died suddenly & the older one, 13 yr old Angel, (who was her follower) grieved terribly,

Angel started off, lying for hours beside the side gate & the back door looking for her 'sister' to come back. This went on for a couple of weeks & I took her to the vet, who said in her experiences most dogs who react strongly to the death of their 'pal' generally come out of it, in three weeks.

Even as I spoke to this vet, Angel lay on the floor looking under the exam room door, waiting for her 'sister' to come in, too.

Angel's grieving persisted. Then in a couple of months it changed & she started to do a continuous 'keening' howling noise when no one was home with her. We tried everything, medications, behaviour management, but she never stopped. And was never the same happy glowingly healthy little dog, ever again. Not even getting another tibbie (who was the grand-daughter of her late 'sister) made any difference.

But Angel was 13 yrs old. Thank goodness your boy is so much younger, so his brain is more 'plastic' to take in new learning. Which means all the ideas that others, like persephone, have given are so spot on. Get your boy into all the routine & new experiences. Especially get him playing & having a great time with other dogs. Get him moving, happy & busy.

By coincidence, I've just filled in a questionnaire for a research study that's being done at the University of Qld, about dogs grieving for their 'pals'.

I don't want to put more burden on you at this hard time, but if you'd like the details of how to contribute to that survey, I can send them on to you.

[Whippetsmum]

Sorry to hear about Jorga,

It takes time for a new normality to set in with dogs just the same as humans. He would probably be feding off your emotions within the human family too, not just responding to his own confusion about being alone. He will get bored too, so get him some busy toys for when he's alone, he's used to having someone to play with, or just follow around.

My boy was about 2 years when his companion, and older girl who had probably been his mum figure passed. He did cry a lot while we were at work, so alerting neighbours and asking for understanding is really important. We did lots of walks and bonding games, kept him busy with frisbee etc when we were at home. When he was alone he had to manage his stuff, but when we were home, he was kept busy. He did get to sleep in our bed for a while, as he was used to company, and it was a bit of weaning him into being and only dog a day time first, then night time last.

Hope things settle soon!

[Purpley]

Thanks everyone - I will definitely take it all on board and look into the things that you have said.

Mita - I would be happy to contribute to the survey, if it helps others then I am happy. Send me the details if you like.

I will keep you all posted on how he is going. Keep the suggestions coming, so I can help poor Billy.

[mita]

Thanks everyone - I will definitely take it all on board and look into the things that you have said.

Mita - I would be happy to contribute to the survey, if it helps others then I am happy. Send me the details if you like.

I will keep you all posted on how he is going. Keep the suggestions coming, so I can help poor Billy.

I'll PM you the notice about the UQ dogs' grief study, Isiss, with the email address to offer to participate.

They ask for owners who've had one of their dogs pass away during the last 5 years.

If anyone else would like the notice, please PM me.

They say their study is not only looking at dogs' grief for their 'pals', but also at the fact that the owner is often trying to deal with it while going thro' awful grief themselves. Ain't that true!

When I was filling in the survey, I found all the feelings of grief & loss & concern for our grieving Angel came back to me, as fresh as ever. Even tho' it happened 3 years ago.