Changed Sleeping Place

[kiesha09]

One of my dogs has some anxiety issues and the other has become very pushy so I have implemented the NILIF program. As part of this I have decided that instead of sleeping on my bed they can move out to the lounge room in their beds and are no longer allowed in my bedroom. They have been sleeping in my room for the past 4 years.

I can now have any coloured doona cover and not worry about marks on it, have the windows open for air without them barking all night, not have to worry about them vomiting on my carpet, enjoy all of the space in my bed.

BUT! I feel absolutely HORRIBLE about it. I feel so so guilty leaving them away from me at night, like I have cut the time they spend with me by over half (even if it is while we're all asleep). I never thought I was so attached to having them in my room.

Am I doing the right thing here? It's probably more my issue than anything, but I hate hearing one of them bark after I've left him.

[jacqui835]

One of my dogs has some anxiety issues and the other has become very pushy so I have implemented the NILIF program. As part of this I have decided that instead of sleeping on my bed they can move out to the lounge room in their beds and are no longer allowed in my bedroom. They have been sleeping in my room for the past 4 years.

I can now have any coloured doona cover and not worry about marks on it, have the windows open for air without them barking all night, not have to worry about them vomiting on my carpet, enjoy all of the space in my bed.

BUT! I feel absolutely HORRIBLE about it. I feel so so guilty leaving them away from me at night, like I have cut the time they spend with me by over half (even if it is while we're all asleep). I never thought I was so attached to having them in my room.

Am I doing the right thing here? It's probably more my issue than anything, but I hate hearing one of them bark after I've left him.

Well my doberman has been on the NILIF program since I picked him up from the breeders - I brought some chicken with me and he learned to sit before we even put him in the car. But I still allow him on my bed. I do it by invitation only though. He has tried to get on the bed by himself a few times, but I reprimanded that and now he just waits on his bed on the floor until I invite him up. He doesn't typically actually sleep with me, his bed is right next to mine on the floor. But in the morning, if I wake up early enough that there's time to stay in bed, I invite him up for snuggle time and we love it. I have to wash my doona cover at least once a week but fortunately he's not a big barker, and we have never tolerated him barking just because another dog somewhere is.

If you want them to share your bed on occasion, I think that's fine, I certainly don't have any issues with my boy. But I think the key is for it to be by invitation only and to wait until they're doing the sort of behaviour you like (resting on the floor quietly or whatever) when you invite them up so you both reward and encourage that sort of behaviour.

Edited October 6, 2010 by jacqui835

[megan_]

Mine now sleep in their crates in my bedroom. I did feel awful, but felt better when I noticed and improvement in our pack dynamics, and my girl became much more confident.

Is it possible to crate them in your room?

[kiesha09]

I would crate them in my room, except my girl will constantly bang on the door of the crate in the bedroom because she wants to get on the bed.

[persephone]

I would just have them crated-- and work on your girl to stop her banging on the door. By physically removing them from your room- you have not trained her out of the behaviour.. just made it impossible for her to do it.

Training her out of the bed-sleeping seems to me to be much more useful :D That way they can be in your room..but not on the bed :rolleyes:

Actually I probably wouldn't crate them... but teach them to sleep on their own beds.

[kiesha09]

I would just have them crated-- and work on your girl to stop her banging on the door. By physically removing them from your room- you have not trained her out of the behaviour.. just made it impossible for her to do it.

Training her out of the bed-sleeping seems to me to be much more useful :D That way they can be in your room..but not on the bed :rolleyes:

Actually I probably wouldn't crate them... but teach them to sleep on their own beds.

So much easier said than done! HOW do I do this because this would be ideal!!

[ness]

Could you tether them some how so they are only able to reach there beds and not jump on your bed?? Or can you make some sort of pen rather than a crate so they aren't able to get to your bed while they learn to remain on their own beds overnight?

Edited October 6, 2010 by ness

[claireybell]

Both my dogs always slept on the bed. when I moved house a baby gate went up at my bedroom door and they have their own single bed (human size :rolleyes: ). I felt horrible at first but soon realised I wasn't having as many back problems.

My cockers greets me at the baby gate each morning with a happy yap and lots of cuddles coz she missed her mama and I feel horrible for about 10 seconds.

However some nights when its cold I wonder if I should let them in. My beagle is great for keeping feet warm on a cold night!!

[megan_]

I would crate them in my room, except my girl will constantly bang on the door of the crate in the bedroom because she wants to get on the bed.

I had this problem too. I did try to get them to sleep on their own beds but they would sneak like little ninjas into my bed at 2am.

I put them in their crates before I went to bed (about 8.30pm), made myself some tea and then sat down to watch the TV. For the first few nights, there was banging and a bit of crying, but then things settled down. If they cried when I was in bed I'd put all but one flap down so that their view was restricted. I lost sleep for a few nights but then they adjusted beautifully.

I do now allow them on the bed by invitation (randomly, so they don't have the expectation), but it took a long time for me to get to this point.

Stay strong and persist - it will help the anxious one!

[kiesha09]

So after reading through all your posts it appears that most people would still keep them in the room, just not on the bed. To be honest I think I am a lot happier with that and it sits much better with me.

So I need to work out what works best for us and stick to it because I'm sure that changing things around on them all the time is very confusing. So where they sleep next needs to be the final solution.

I don't want to sound like I am making excuses but my thoughts are:

1. The last time I tried crating my girl in my room she banged on the door for 7 hours :rolleyes: and this certainly didn't make for a happy mumma :D I could try this again with ear plugs maybe.

2. I like the sound of the tether except that I don't have anything to tether them to without them reaching the bed.

3. I could set up a play pen for them but to be honest I think it would end up being up indefinately because they would ALWAYS try and sneak into bed with out it.

[aussielover]

Do they have a good stay?

How persistant are they with jumping up on the bed?

Can you simply put them back down on the floor/their bed when they jump up? After a couple of gos they might get sick of it and give up?

[megan_]

Do they have a good stay?

How persistant are they with jumping up on the bed?

Can you simply put them back down on the floor/their bed when they jump up? After a couple of gos they might get sick of it and give up?

Mine have excellent stays, but they jumped on the bed many times. Not because they don't understand - but they are very persistant and will try to break me, little buggers.

Kiesha - your two sound a lot like mine. One bossy and one anxious. I'm not comfortable tethering them, I worry about them getting knotted up while I'm asleep. I like crates because they can't get on your bed but are 100% safe.

I'd persist and be sleepy for the next couple of days. My girl made a noise all night on the first night, but after 3 nights she was fine.

[aussielover]

Do they have a good stay?

How persistant are they with jumping up on the bed?

Can you simply put them back down on the floor/their bed when they jump up? After a couple of gos they might get sick of it and give up?

Mine have excellent stays, but they jumped on the bed many times. Not because they don't understand - but they are very persistant and will try to break me, little buggers.

Kiesha - your two sound a lot like mine. One bossy and one anxious. I'm not comfortable tethering them, I worry about them getting knotted up while I'm asleep. I like crates because they can't get on your bed but are 100% safe.

I'd persist and be sleepy for the next couple of days. My girl made a noise all night on the first night, but after 3 nights she was fine.

Mine tried to jump up once, i put her back down, she jumped up again i put her back down and she just went off and sulked on her bed and hasn't bothered since then. I guess I was lucky then

[persephone]

She banged for 7 hours? Then what happened? My guess is she got let out If this is the case- then her 7 hours worked!!

No- crating could cause anxiety.. because they haven't any consequences..for good ,or bad behaviour... they are just locked away . You may need to do this on a weekend.. but be absolutely consistent!!

This is probably how I would do it (I have never had to do it..my pups slept on the floor from day 1 .Make up nice beds .. feed dogs treats on beds.. pat dogs when they are LYING on beds... not half on/half off... when dogs gets on YOUR bed.. pull/push them off immediately and firmly ..no conversation, except a growl or "OFF!" !No using their names or anything.. just a matter of fact yank/push.(not a gentle "Please get off my bed, will you?") It is NON negotiable.... EVERY single time .If they do get on their beds... then they get rewarded. If they just stand around.. they get nothing..no eye contact.. nothing.

Dogs aren't silly - they want to be where it's peaceful and cosy and where they get praised/cuddled/treated .Your bed has suddenly become a place where this does NOT happen

May not be to everyone's taste.. but I have done this for lounge room furniture, and it worked

[kiesha09]

I have tried just not letting them on the bed and for my bossy boy its fine after a few attempts he's like fine I'll sleep on the floor. But my girl is also a ninja dog.... she goes to sleep in her bed on the floor but I ALWAYS wake up with her on the bed. I have never woken up so god knows at what stage she gets on there. Either I'm a heavy sleeper or she's just way too sneaky. I think its the latter.

To be honest after she banged for 7 hours straight I decided to get up as I'd had enough and after 5 minutes I let her out. I thought I had been strong and persistent lasting all that time but thinking about it she ended up getting exactly what she wanted, to be let out. So it did work for her!Argh!!!

She isn't anxious in the crate - infact it is her safe haven, the place she goes when she's scared or has had enough of things so she's not doing it because she's anxious. I'm absolutely sure its because she is throwing a tanty because she wants on the bed. Any other time of day she would never do that.

[Alfie02]

hi,

jacqui835, can i just ask what NILF is?

[Alfie02]

oopps double post sorry!

Edited October 6, 2010 by Alfie02

[persephone]

Alfie.. N I LI F Nothing In Life Is Free The dog must 'work' for any praise/treats.. no gratuitous pats etc ..just because the dog is breathing , basically.

Dog sits- gets praise

Dog comes up and huffs in your face- dog gets totally ignored.

That sort of thing...

edit- forgot LINK

Edited October 6, 2010 by persephone

[Alfie02]

Thanks for that persephone, very helpful

[OSoSwift]

Crates and ear plugs. If she scratches all night she will get tired eventually - even if it is days!

DO NOT GIVE IN!

This is the secret. Never give in.