Middle 'dog' Syndrome

[Alison1474]

Hi everyone,

Quick run down on our house at the moment.....

Staffy - Chopper 7 yrs old

Staffy - Bella 5 yes old

Great Dane - Chief 15 weeks old

Chop and Chief get on absolutely brilliantly but Bella is finding life very difficult since Chief came to live with us. It's seriously like middle child syndrome. Chief's first day here she was very guarded of things and where he went in the house. Then she went through the 'if I close my eyes or turn away he's not really there' stage. Now she's just generally not liking him. She's never gone at him aggressively... Just enough to put him in his place so he knows not to come near her.

I just want them all to get along well and be happy and I know she's not. It's like she's biding here time till the 'visitor' leaves and things can go back to normal.

Any suggestions ????

[Guest Ams]

Alison I would be expecting a 5 yr old dog to be correcting a puppy. That is how they learn appropriate behaviour. Unless Bella is being outright aggressive and there is a danger of injury to the pup I would just watch and let the puppy learn. Certainly don't leave them unsupervised in case Bella gets sick of his puppy behaviour and thinks she can't escape him cause then she may hurt him.

[RiverStar-Aura]

She could be feeling the "only girl" syndrome too!

But on a serious note, is Chief much bigger than your staffies or are they around the same size at the moment? Because if he's bigger, that may be a part of it too.

Bella seems to be acting very much like my cat's reaction to Zeus (I problem we're all still working on!). Maybe give her a room that can be "Bella's space" and no Chief allowed and re-introduce them slowly. It must be hard getting a new dog because both Bella and Chopper have had an established hierarchy for 5 years now and in comes Chief who muddles everything up.

Who is the more dominant dog out of Bella and Chopper? If Chopper's number one, Bella may feel as though she has to fight for her spot as number two and therefore isn't as friendly with Chief as you'd like them to be.

It's a really hard situation you've got on your hands but hopefully others have some really good ideas and if in doubt, there's always training!

Hope I've helped a bit, I'm still new at this "owning a dog" thing!

Edited October 5, 2010 by riverstar-aura

[Alison1474]

Thanks heaps....

Bella has always been the dominant one and she's never been aggressive towards Chief... Just very dominate if he's in her space or near her toys....growling and maybe if he touches her she'll do an air snap. Otherwise she literally turns her head and pretends he's not there. She is also sleeping Ina different room to him. If he's in the lounge room, she's in the bedroom. We've always all been together.

Oh and when he first arrived he was the same height as them both but for the first week he was submissive and cautious. He isn't biosterious (spelling) around her but has definitely got his confidence up in general around the house.

Edited October 5, 2010 by Alison1474

[Guest RANDCMOORE31]

One of my girls just doesn't like puppies. When we got both our younger dogs about a year apart - she refused to have anything to do with them until they got a bit older - she wouldn't even look at them - even if I sat down with her and them together and tried to help things along. If they got in her space/face she'd growl and snap - but never actually fought with them - just stayed as far away as possible. It is hard - as we'd like them all to live happily ever after from day 1 - but sometimes it's just a time thing - once our puppies matured a bit - she accepted them. She was our second dog - so was also the middle dog!

Good Luck - I'm sure things will get better with time.

[wuffles]

I agree, give it some time. With our two, I found that once the puppy started respecting the older dog's boundaries a bit more, they both relaxed around each other. It just took the pup a while for her to work out what was expected of her, and it also took some getting used to on the older dog's part, too.

For example, our older boy doesn't like other dogs near him while he's sleeping or relaxing. It took a while, but now the younger one has worked out the EXACT distance that he will tolerate and she lies there Once she was in the study, he came and lay in the doorway, she went to leave and realised she was trapped! As a puppy she would have just tried to squeeze past him which would have resulted in a growl or telling off. But she has learned, so she just went back to sleep in the corner of the room

Our girl is now 10 months old, our boy 5, and they get along really well and respect each other. They play, although not constantly, they often sleep in different rooms and ignore each other a lot of the time. But they greet each other like long lost friends if one of them is gone for 5 minutes and generally enjoy the company.

[Rebanne]

Bella has always been the dominant one and she's never been aggressive towards Chief... Just very dominate if he's in her space or near her toys....growling and maybe if he touches her she'll do an air snap. Otherwise she literally turns her head and pretends he's not there. She is also sleeping Ina different room to him. If he's in the lounge room, she's in the bedroom. We've always all been together.

what a good girl Bella is. She is doing all the right doggy things to a new puppy who is pushing the boundaries. You also hace to accept they may never be friends, depending on what your defintion is of friends. My smallest dog is not friendly with the greys, she is old and they are too big for her. Even when she was younger the greys were never her thing. Not all siblings like each other!

[B-Q]

When we introduced Quinn a couple of months ago it changed the dynamics a bit here.

We have 4 dogs but Harry is seperated because he doesn't get on with the other dogs. Buster is almost 8, Mac is almost 5 and Quinn is now 4.5 months.

At first Buster was very intense like he might want t eat her, but she started sleeping on my bed form the second night she was home. He was a little snarky but within a week he adored her. Mac didn't like her, wouldn't talk to her, would snark at her if she came near.

After a few weeks Buster started to get over bouncy puppy hurting his hips, taking his bed, ALWAYS wanting to play and Mac came around and became her best friend. Now Mac and Quinn play constantly, Buster and Quinn play occasionally and the rest of the time Buster plays the fun police, taking toys that the girls are playing with, snarky her for things he has nothing to do with ("Don't jump up on the door! Its annoying!!!)

He's my grumpy old man but I think he secretly adores her.

Mac is Busters special little sister, he's always been really intolerant of the other dogs but he'll let her get away with murder. It wasn't liek that when she was young and annoying though so hopefully in a few years Buster and Quinn will be really close aswell.

Edited October 6, 2010 by busterlove

[Alison1474]

Thank you all so much..........

I feel alot better now.

p.s.... Quinn is adorable !

[Alison1474]

Great news !!!!

It's only a baby step but I'm over the moon about it.

Last night Chief and Chopper were playing and Belle was laying on the floor close by. Chief was obviously distracted and didn't notice her there until he landed on her. Belle just got up and moved !!!! Absolutely not a sound out of her.

She did look at me like 'Oh Geesh.... kids these days'.