Building Confidence In A Timid Dog...

[BJ.]

I am having problems with my basset Jester and his relationship with my husband. Jester is a sookie la la ( I am sure that's a scientific term;) ), he will shut down completely if yelled at or corrected severely, so I try to keep everything in his world calm and positive. He is easy enough to live with, happy with a walk, his dinner and a lounge chair to curl up on. I can clean his ears and eyes and even cut his nails all without drama.

My husband is a nice guy who tries his hardest with the dogs even though he is not naturally a "doggy" person. He works away from home for about 6 months of the year, but when he is here puts in a lot of time and effort into interaction with the dogs. He is though a "loud" person, his voice is loud and he tends to talk with large gestures.

My other 3 dogs are not fazed by this at all, in fact he is my GSD's favourite person but Jester goes straight into avoidance mode and won't even stay in the same room as hubby, fleeing in panic. Hubby came home last night after 6 weeks away, Jester sat with me for a while but then it all got too much and he went outside. I had to put a lead on him to get him to come back inside to go to bed and hubby was down the other end of the house. Hubby has never yelled at or raised his hand to Jester, the disciplining is my job.

My hubby gets quiet hurt that Jester won't even stay in the same room as he and I would like us all to be able to be together in the evenings without Jester being in self imposed exile in the backyard. Hubby asked me to "ask my on-line doggy friends" for some tips on things that he can do with Jester to try and establish at least some understanding between them. Jester is very food motivated so that may help but he is not very bright so I am afraid that trying to get hubby to do any training may just result in frustration and more angst.

[W Sibs]

Tell your husband to ignore Jester and not try so hard... that would intimidate Jester more, I reckon. Get him to walk around the house normally, not acknowledging the dog. Once in a while, get him to drop food for Jester.. so Jester realise this guy has food, and i might get some.

Not sure if this is the right way of doing it, but I've tried this with a few strays/rescues my dad use to bring home growing up...

I would ignore them but, once in a while I will 'accidently' drop food, and these dogs will want it (we are talking about dropping half cheeseburgar or hot dog.. ). They will start following me around just in case I drop food (or treats)... eventually they felt comfortable around me and let me pat them.

ETA: Or see a trainer/behaviourist

Edited September 22, 2010 by CW EW

[kiesha09]

Get your OH to hand feed Jester. So if he has kibble for dinner get OH to sit on the couch, watch TV and feed him piece by piece (or perhaps 3 bits at a time so it doesn't take all night ) Slowly Jester will start to build positive associations with your OH and begin to feel more comfortable.

This worked when I started seeing my OH. My girl was petrified and would hide in my bedroom. So he would feed her each night and each morning, piece by piece and now she loves him.

Also my OH works away alot (almost 6 months of the year too) and she doesn't ever forget she likes him now. When he gets back she goes nuts with excitement. It also helps that he always plays with her.

Maybe also get OH to walk Jester... if all good things come from your OH Jester will come around.

[noisymina]

I agree with ignoring and drop the odd treat thing.

It's about de-sensitisation. That takes time.

My Dobe used to head to the fartheat part of the yard if I dared pick up a broom, hose or :D the vacuum!

After the first effort that involved me taking all morning to get her back to the house, I decided I just could not do that every time!

So did total ignore, followed by brief hello and pat when she came back - not much, just a nice interaction.

As we have a ducted vacuum, I used to leave the hose out along the hallway after I'd finished. Gee that thing was scary.

So treats lined up beside it down the hall - and leave her to it. Eventually, I could put treats on the other side ...after we achieved the momentous task of actually STEPPING OVER IT! And re-ionforced that.

NOW she will come into the house while I am still vacuuming even! No worries. Not that I need her to help me with vacuuming - but that is how far she has come. Awesome!

Maybe get your OH to sit quietly when Jester does come in and you do a quick hello and then you both ignore him for a while and maybe a treat. YOU might have to start by casually dropping a line of treats from Jester to you OH and quietly observe him battle with treat temptation versus fear of OH. Each time, he will get a bit closer before he vacates!

.

Edited September 22, 2010 by noisymina

[Blakbelgian]

I have my fingers crossed that jester comes around and trusts your hubby.

BB

[Cleo's Corgwyn]

You could borrow Shandy - she' dtalk to your OH, and you know Jester would probably just follow her! :rolleyes:

Seriously, lots of yummy treats- NILIF stuff, once he's comfortable taking food, start throwing in some basic commands that Jester knows; sit, etc to earn his treats. Is he clicker trained at all? Its often recommended, as its clear communication.

[BJ.]

I am sure he would follow Shandy anywhere Lol, maybe she reminds him of duck jerky. No he is not clicker trained, I actually think a clicker would freak him out to start with. Isn't funny that he can't deal with loud noise when he is not exactly a quiet retiring wall flower?

Hubby sat down with half of Jesters dinner in his pockets last night and we did make some progress, so we will keep trying. We can't drop it on the floor or the other 3 dogs will catch on but Jester was happy to take it out of hubby's hand. Hubby was only home for an hour or so but at least he is willing to try while he is here.

[dogbesotted]

same story with my OH and sweet Lucky. OH was also very hurt that Luckjy was so afraid of him...

we went the ignore route but then when i was away.. OH took to lying flat on theground in the shade.. after a little while Lucky came and sat onhim.. they became quite good friends eventually and that was the start.

hand feeding is no good initially when the dog is frightened...

H

[BJ.]

I think you have hit a nail on the head Dogbesotted my hubby rarely sits still he is always on the move. Our GSD thinks that"s wonderful because there is always somewhere to go or somewhere to stick his nose in, Jester is always worried about what hubby is up to.