Time To Order Your Christmas Puppies!

[Esky the husky]

Hi I'm after an Australian Shepherd please.

But I want a red merle x with a blue merle.

After all Lilac is soo in this year.

All the pedigree snob breeders told me this mating had health risks.

So 1 breeding pair and 1 extra female purple aussies please.

[Little Gifts]

I want one of those dogs that are a mix between a german sheppard and a corgi.. I hear the benefits are they make excellent guard dogs but there's half as much pooping as a regular GSD's.

Oh geez, I actually had one of these in real life. He was a cracker of a dog - looked like a GSD pup his entire life. His bark was a little high pitched but his poops were small!

[Jed]

I noticed you said that oodles were so last year.

I stuck the one I bought last year in the backyard and it turned into this...

I've now changed my decor. Can you create me something in a darker colour?

Coming right up. Darker colour - no problem. Please advise whether you want it with a handle (as photo)?

or

Without handle?

And please do specify colour. We pride ourselves on providing satisfaction to our customers

Edited September 18, 2010 by Jed

[Crazy Daisy]

I noticed you said that oodles were so last year.

I stuck the one I bought last year in the backyard and it turned into this...

I've now changed my decor. Can you create me something in a darker colour?

Coming right up. Darker colour - no problem. Please advise whether you want it with a handle (as photo)?

or

Without handle?

And please do specify colour. We pride ourselves on providing satisfaction to our customers

Well I think I am over the hair everywhere and I have now redecorated in black and white. Can you get me one of these please?

[corrie]

Is ShonkyPaws affiliated with NudiePaws (Wazzat) in anyway or can you organise something for some litters? I would like a nude dog with Cavalier ears. I would like its skin to be white, though, as summer is coming up soon and black is more a winter colour.......I'll probably grab a winter one during your Mothers Day specials.

[corrie]

How is the timing of our posts, Crazy Daisy?

[minxy]

I noticed you said that oodles were so last year.

I stuck the one I bought last year in the backyard and it turned into this...

I've now changed my decor. Can you create me something in a darker colour?

Coming right up. Darker colour - no problem. Please advise whether you want it with a handle (as photo)?

or

Without handle?

And please do specify colour. We pride ourselves on providing satisfaction to our customers

[Dju]

I want one of those dogs that are a mix between a german sheppard and a corgi.. I hear the benefits are they make excellent guard dogs but there's half as much pooping as a regular GSD's.

Oh geez, I actually had one of these in real life. He was a cracker of a dog - looked like a GSD pup his entire life. His bark was a little high pitched but his poops were small!

Photos, photos!

[RuralPug]

I want one of those dogs that are a mix between a german sheppard and a corgi.. I hear the benefits are they make excellent guard dogs but there's half as much pooping as a regular GSD's.

Hey I actally have a breading pear of those. One in silver and one in the rare bronze/mica. But i can't bread them anymore cause the ranger lives next door and says I have to macrochip pups befour sail and it costs to much.

Here is a thumpnail pic

Deshonko can I trade this breading pear in on a Giant Pug please? One that is trained to poop in my neighbours lawn and not mine.

[ellz]

Coming right up. Darker colour - no problem. Please advise whether you want it with a handle (as photo)?

or

Without handle?

And please do specify colour. We pride ourselves on providing satisfaction to our customers

OMG...I just spat chili con carne everywhere!

[HeavyPaws]

Greetings Poodlefan!

I manage the reputable AssemblyLine Kennels, we breed quality Australian Staffys and export to the world. Aussie Staffys are a relatively new breed but are taking off in a big way!

We used the English Staffy for a muscular build, and then threw in a couple'a Dane things and sum I dunno those ones with the spots....

Our Aussie Staffys have imported bloodlines from Ch. Trading Post She'll Be Right Mate, Ch. Woolies Parking Lot DoYa Lyk Me New Uggboots and our new litter is sired by Ch. Thats a Fckin Sik Ute Mate.

Very exciting!

We need to build our gene pool as our current bitch {the only one in the world} fell off the ute and died. Stupid dogs, yeah? Anyway, wondering if we could borrow a handfull of bitches, hopefully some small ones, get them nice and fat with puppies and squeeze 'em out like the last drop a sauce of ya snag.

Anyway, email us and we'll come pick some up this weekend.

Cheers bro!

Hmm, my people will have to discuss this with Poodlefan's people. At this moment in time, I am unsure whether the ethos and methododgy you

espouse will mesh with the ethics of Shonkypaws and Deshonko Kennels.

It is important not only to do the right thing but to be seen doing the right thing which is why all our advertisements show green and rolling grassy acres, with not a hint of a shed, a chain, or a crate. Perception is the most important thing.

Please send us a couple of bitches for us to appraise.

Nah mate don't worry we have fully sik ethics.

Our prime bitch, Ch. Grab Us a Stubby Wouldya Keith, she ate nothin but Woofbix her whole life. The others get Pedigree, the second best dog food there is. But Woofbix all the way for our special girl.

I've got lovely ads for our dogs.

See? Prime breeding stock right 'ere.

Here's a list of the dogs we want to breed to your bitches. As you can see, they have big tough muscles and will produce fine puppies.

First off, Ed Hardy Chek Out Me Cuzzins Holden SS Bro (IMP Frankston)

Rare chocolate and light-yellow.

Second, the brother of the above, Ed Hardy I Got It in Indonesia It Means Peace Does it Relly Look Infected (IMP Geelong)

A rare light-yellow and darker-spots blend.

Please let me know which ones you'd like to use for your breeding program.

[SpotTheDog]

...Ed Hardy I Got It in Indonesia It Means Peace Does it Relly Look Infected

ROFLMFAO

[Jed]

Is ShonkyPaws affiliated with NudiePaws (Wazzat) in anyway or can you organise something for some litters? I would like a nude dog with Cavalier ears. I would like its skin to be white, though, as summer is coming up soon and black is more a winter colour.......I'll probably grab a winter one during your Mothers Day specials.

Shonkypaws is affiliated only with Deshonko - Top Kennels Combined to Bring You The Dog of Your Dreams

Corrie white is rather, um, passe

How about a rather fashionable grey and tan?

[Jed]

Crazy Daisy, no problem - would you prefer apricot spots, or aubergine and apricot? Unless you have up to the minute decor, I find the black spotted a little hard, but we have them as well. Just too common to post photos.

Let me know, we deliver on time every time.

Apricot spots

Aubergine & Apricot, this is one of our best selling lines. Sure to be a hit with your friends

Each of these comes with a free sample of Oil of Ulan

Heavypaws, I think a bit of judicious line breeding is justified with those girls you have posted photos of. If you think they are boys, I hope your kennels are called Roolyrooted?

I think you need to go hairless. I am recommending that you use Sw Nor NZ UK USA Aus Ch Nekikidpit Drupidik.

Deshonko and I imported this dog from the council parking lot at huge expense, and as responsible farmers breeders, we can only let others use him on a breeders contract. How this works is that you may use the dog at $5000 per service. When the bitches whelp, you may keep one pup per litter. If they don't whelp, it's your problem.

Please let us know soon, as Nekkidpit is in huge demand, and all services will soon be gone.

Edited September 18, 2010 by Jed

[ellz]

How about a rather fashionable grey and tan?

OMG OMG OMG....I want one of those please! I could breed Teacup Hairless Rare Blue English Staffies!! I'll be RICH!!!

[corrie]

Is ShonkyPaws affiliated with NudiePaws (Wazzat) in anyway or can you organise something for some litters? I would like a nude dog with Cavalier ears. I would like its skin to be white, though, as summer is coming up soon and black is more a winter colour.......I'll probably grab a winter one during your Mothers Day specials.

Shonkypaws is affiliated only with Deshonko - Top Kennels Combined to Bring You The Dog of Your Dreams

Corrie white is rather, um, passe

How about a rather fashionable grey and tan?

Really?? You don't sound like you have your finger on the pulse of the latest Gold Coast corture. See, I actually do like the grey and tan but it just won't go with my white jandles, white slacks, white singlet, white bag and frangipanni hair clip. I don't mind hot pink as an accent colour though so if you could do hot pink I would be happy to do business with you.

[Florise]

Please let me know which ones you'd like to use for your breeding program.

Ohh wow! Anything imported from Frankston or Geelong would be hard to pass up. How would those patellas hold up? Hips would be pretty good and strong I would say, judging by the weight they are holding up there

[Jed]

Is ShonkyPaws affiliated with NudiePaws (Wazzat) in anyway or can you organise something for some litters? I would like a nude dog with Cavalier ears. I would like its skin to be white, though, as summer is coming up soon and black is more a winter colour.......I'll probably grab a winter one during your Mothers Day specials.

Shonkypaws is affiliated only with Deshonko - Top Kennels Combined to Bring You The Dog of Your Dreams

Corrie white is rather, um, passe

How about a rather fashionable grey and tan?

Really?? You don't sound like you have your finger on the pulse of the latest Gold Coast corture. See, I actually do like the grey and tan but it just won't go with my white jandles, white slacks, white singlet, white bag and frangipanni hair clip. I don't mind hot pink as an accent colour though so if you could do hot pink I would be happy to do business with you.

This is what you need for the coast -

Totally new and different. Leave those doodlies for dead. an absolute must have accessory. Unfortunately, it only comes in four colours, white, white white and white not hot pink. How about a nice hot pink latex cardi with rhinestones? The whole look will just be soooooooooo hot, specially if you are parading up and down Cavill or Orchid Ave.

[Jed]

How about a rather fashionable grey and tan?

OMG OMG OMG....I want one of those please! I could breed Teacup Hairless Rare Blue English Staffies!! I'll be RICH!!!

Here's a brace, Ellz, just what you need. 15cms high, blue genes back to genesis. We do accept American Express or used bills.

[Jed]

Dear Dodgy Breeder, please place $10,000 in unmarked notes in my letter-box. Fail to do so & I will tell the whole world what you've been nicking out of the backyards of discerning dog owners. And then passing off to your ignorant & hapless clients as a Teacup Golden Retriever.

Signed

Eagle Eyes of Brisbane

PS I have 2 Teacup Golden Retrievers (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) that you might like to buy. Save you some sneaking around backyards. Add a further $20,000 in my mail-box. On receipt, I will forward the 2 TGRs to you, via snail-mail, in plain brown-paper wrapping.

Add on $5,000 for postage.

Hmm, this is addressed to Dear Dodgy Breeder so it can't be Deshonko or me, and we certainly wouldn't be going around nicking other people's dogs. I'll have you know that the owner of Deshonko is a politician, and the owner of Shonkypaws is a high court judge. Certainly not the type of person to be creeping around backyards stealing dogs. However, we may be interested in the Teacup Retrievers you are selling. I presume they are entire females, and under 15 months of age? We'll be sure to make lotsa bucks outa em give them excellent homes. The price is a little high though. For such good homes, I think you should take $50 each for them. A cheque, of course.

Edited to fix crazy quotes

Edited September 18, 2010 by Jed