Mother Obsessed With Computer Games

[twodoggies2001]

I find this very hard to fathom, at 13 you can do something, you don't have to leave the dogs unfed. Did they not have any relatives or friends at all??? You can speak to your teacher perhaps.

I accept she was obviously having some sort of mental trauma but there is no excuse for what she did.

These were my thoughts exactly. At thirteen, this youngster would have the ability to have taken some action unless of course, (and I'm not saying this to be nasty,) the child also has some mental issues.

[Souff]

There is an issue of being "unwell" here ... but there are many many households where there is a similar scenario (minus the bodies of 2 dead dogs in the living room hopefully).

Where? In many houses in towns and suburbs all over Australia.

It has almost become an "acceptable neglect", that is, it is accepted as "normal" amongst the person's peers and family members because they never see things in any other condition.

Home computers are a wonderful tool, but they are also part of the array of things that are wrecking the lives of some people.

The saddest victims are the children because they spend their childhood in this filth and disarray and see it as normal.

The term "generational welfare" is often bandied about.

Sometimes it is "generational neglect".

Souff

[Loving my Oldies]

How tragic, the poor woman was escaping from severe difficulties in her life because she couldn't cope, and in so doing, caused more tragedy.

So sad.

When we all lived in villages, someone would have noticed that she wasn't travelling so well, and would have called in, but today,no one has time, and the cities are too large and impersonal.

Well said. I feel as sorry for the woman as I do her children.

OMG I don't know what sort of glasses you are wearing, but "when we all lived in villages", we only had to grow a hair out of a mole to be burned at the stake as a witch and "when we all lived in villages" if this woman showed signs of mental illness, at best she and her children would have been run out of the village and her animals beaten to death; at worst she and the children would have been beaten to death as they were chased away.

She wasn't ill, she was just neglected her children and animals full stop.

Exactly. Too much bad behaviour is being "blamed" on mental illness, under the influence of drugs/drink/the devil etc etc

[Jed]

Mother Moocher

OMG I don't know what sort of glasses you are wearing, but "when we all lived in villages", we only had to grow a hair out of a mole to be burned at the stake as a witch and "when we all lived in villages" if this woman showed signs of mental illness, at best she and her children would have been run out of the village and her animals beaten to death; at worst she and the children would have been beaten to death as they were chased away.

Just my ordinary glasses, and burning witches at the stake didn't happen over the entire 1800 + years we lived in villages and the neighbours had a pretty good idea what was going on . (Except if they came to dol, I guess )

It is obvious, even from the sparse news report that life was perfectly normal for the family, until life went pear shaped.

Then the woman lost the plot - big time. Because she couldn't cope, she walled herself off, and became obsessed with the computer.

I don't think this is the normal "cruel b####rd" case. This woman was suffering as much as the kids or the dogs.

In times past - someone would have noticed that things werent going welll, maybe the neighbours who dropped in for a cuppa, or her friends, or someone else, but no one did, so the kids suffered, and the dogs starved to death

Not everyone who is affected by a horrible life changing event goes "la la, it's all good". Some suffer from serious depression for prolonged periods, and different people cope in different ways - or do not cope at all.

And there may not have been enough food available for the children to give to the dogs to keep them alive. It doesn't seem as if the kids were doing too well either.

Allowing the dogs to die in the house, as well leaving the bodies there are not the actions of a "normal" person, yet according to the newspaper report, this woman had been normal.

I can imagine how this could happen, without any bad intent, but I suppose not everyone can see that. She couldn't cope with life, so she simply withdrew from it, ignoring her life, her pets and her children.

[Loving my Oldies]

I still contend that had she (or others like her) been living in a village she would have been very lucky indeed to have received assistance.

In the 17th Century when village life was still the norm, Thomas Hobbes described the natural state of mankind (the state pertaining before a central government is formed) as a "warre of every man against every man". He said that life was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short".

Even those of us leaving in so called cold and heartless cities would consider our lives a bit better than that .

[Kavik]

I still contend that had she (or others like her) been living in a village she would have been very lucky indeed to have received assistance.

In the 17th Century when village life was still the norm, Thomas Hobbes described the natural state of mankind (the state pertaining before a central government is formed) as a "warre of every man against every man". He said that life was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short".

Even those of us leaving in so called cold and heartless cities would consider our lives a bit better than that .

Hobbes was referring to a fictional situation where there were no laws/customs in place (such a situation has never been the case of course, as people have always lived in some sort of loose society/tribal situation). Hobbes did this to try to determine why a government would be formed and what type of government would be formed assuming that everyone was only in it for themselves, what freedoms would they give up for security.

(sorry, did social philosophy at university, this was one of the topics )

[Kavik]

From Hobbes Leviathan

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man. . . .

Whatsoever therefore is consequent to a time of war, where every man is enemy to every man, the same consequent to the time wherein men live without other security than what their own strength and their own invention shall furnish them withal. In such condition there is no place for industry, because the fruit thereof is uncertain: and consequently no culture of the earth; no navigation, nor use of the commodities that may be imported by sea; no commodious building; no instruments of moving and removing such things as require much force; no knowledge of the face of the earth; no account of time; no arts; no letters; no society; and which is worst of all, continual fear, and danger of violent death; and the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. . . .

But though there had never been any time wherein particular men were in a condition of war one against another,

******************

It is a completely fictional situation he thought up to justify why people would subject themselves to laws which limit their liberty etc.

[Jed]

I dunno MM, I have read historical accounts of village life through the centuries where the village was a true community - there are plenty of accounts. Even in the "dark ages", things were not really black.

Life in Aus 40 - 50 years ago was much more community based than it is now.

[all that glitters]

She wasn't ill, she was just neglected her children and animals full stop.

Seriously over this 'ill' crap!!!!

No amount of 'ill' makes you leave 2 big dogs starving to DEATH in your living room right before your very eyes. What the HELL.

[Crisovar]

I seriously hope that some of the posters here never have a life changing tragedy in their lives.

They may be horribly surprised at how they are affected.

[koalathebear]

I seriously hope that some of the posters here never have a life changing tragedy in their lives.

They may be horribly surprised at how they are affected.

It's a bit like the people who swear that they would "never" rehome their dog. You just never know what's going to happen in life no matter how much you plan for contingencies.

The woman in this article didn't sound like a bad person, she neglected herself as well as her family and she sounded very broken and unwell. She clearly had no friends or support network and had fallen between the cracks in terms of the welfare system. I am not sure if she had a 'formal' mental illness but she certainly did sound very unwell and people who are in the midst of a period of mental unwellness frequently have limited if any judgement or lucidity. I feel very sorry for all of the family - dogs included.

[WreckitWhippet]

Her house would have gotten messy and she would have started to put things on the back burner, long before she became "addicted". You can't tell me me the second she turned on that PC she became "mentally ill ".

It's a get out of jail free card, that's used all too often.

[FranVT]

Her house would have gotten messy and she would have started to put things on the back burner, long before she became "addicted". You can't tell me me the second she turned on that PC she became "mentally ill ".

It's a get out of jail free card, that's used all too often.

I agree. I'm empathetic (sympathetic even) to those with mental illness but there is absolutely no excuse for letting dogs' bodies rot in your home and have your children eating cold baked beans out of cans as a regular meal. It gives people who are suffering with mental illness and still doing their absolute best to look after those who are dependent upon them a bad name.

[Crisovar]

You don't think that those that are dealing with mental illness and getting along just fine may have had some support and/or treatment?

The thing is this woman apparently had no support, sounds to me like the death of her husband was too much to deal with, and she was unable to cope. No family/community support, things went downhill.

[Loving my Oldies]

Her house would have gotten messy and she would have started to put things on the back burner, long before she became "addicted". You can't tell me me the second she turned on that PC she became "mentally ill ".

It's a get out of jail free card, that's used all too often.

I agree. I'm empathetic (sympathetic even) to those with mental illness but there is absolutely no excuse for letting dogs' bodies rot in your home and have your children eating cold baked beans out of cans as a regular meal. It gives people who are suffering with mental illness and still doing their absolute best to look after those who are dependent upon them a bad name.

I agree totally with these two posts. There would be very few of us who haven't seen people affected by tragedy and/or mental illness who everyday strive to keep it all together for those who are dependent on them.

[Little Gifts]

I see we are still in two camps over this case. Would you feel different if she obsessively knitted tea cosies all day rather than played computer games? Would you feel different if it were her children who were dead and not her dogs?

I know I would feel the same - she lost the plot to the extreme and nothing but outside intervention would've changed this situation. It is a tragedy and she needs help, not jail time. I hope she gets well and that these children get a healthy mother back. They have already lost a father.

I don't think she gives people with mental health issues a bad name because she was undiagnosed and untreated when this happened. There are lots of highly functioning people out there with diagnosed disorders - I am one of them and have completed a university degree, obtained a well paying job, own a house, a car, don't let animals die (except fish - I do have a problem there) and I don't have children because I know I wouldn't do a good job raising them because of my issues. It is because of my issues that I have compassion for others not as fortunate as me.

Edited September 16, 2010 by Puppy_Sniffer

[FranVT]

I do think it's quite concerning that the teachers of the children didn't twig that something was up. Or did they and nothing was done?

PS, I truly truly do understand, more than I'd care to share on DOL, about mental illness both with myself and my family. I fully realise that this woman needed help. But for her children's sake she should have sought it.

Also I had a little giggle with the fish thing, I'm the same! I also think that's an incredibly selfless decision that you've made to not have kids.

[Loving my Oldies]

I see we are still in two camps over this case. Would you feel different if she obsessively knitted tea cosies all day rather than played computer games? Would you feel different if it were her children who were dead and not her dogs?

Well in actual fact a couple in Japan allowed their baby to die while they played pretend mummy and daddy on their computer with a virtual reality doll.

Just because some of us feel that the "mental illness" card has been overplayed, doesn't mean we lack compassion or don't have first hand and/or personal experience.

The whole business of not taking responsibility for our own actions has gone too far. Of course there are people with the most ghastly tragic experiences which can cause them to spiral into mental illness and there are people on this forum whose experiences leave me totally aghast that they can still get up in the morning and carry on.

How would you feel if someone high on drugs and/or booze rammed into your car and killed or maimed someone you love. Would you be so compassionate then. Because these are the sorts of people who are blaming "mental illness" for their behaviour.

Let's get real here.

[baykinz]

Her house would have gotten messy and she would have started to put things on the back burner, long before she became "addicted". You can't tell me me the second she turned on that PC she became "mentally ill ".

It's a get out of jail free card, that's used all too often.

I don't think anybody is saying the computer made her ill. A tragedy in her life affected her mental stability and the computer just happened to be how that manifested itself. Sometimes mental illness is over-diagnosed but that doesn't mean there are no genuine cases and without knowing much more intimately the details of this case and this woman I don't see how anybody can say she was definitely not sick.

Getting help can be astonishingly hard for somebody suffering from mental illness and I am surprised that the school/s of her children did nothing. My mother is a teacher and at every school she's worked they make an effort to investigate if children come to school regularly unwashed or without clean clothes or smelling or without lunch. There's no way these kids didn't smell awful with the state the house was in, even if they were laundering their own clothes and packing lunches, and their school should have looked into their situation and taken action.

[koalathebear]

PS, I truly truly do understand, more than I'd care to share on DOL, about mental illness both with myself and my family. I fully realise that this woman needed help. But for her children's sake she should have sought it.

I know ... but one of the tragedies about some forms of mental illness is the person affected often does not realise that they are ill and sometimes tragic things can happen. I've seen mentally ill people think that they are invincible, that they don't need food or water, that they can touch fire, that they're gods etc.

For my part, I'd much rather have a physical illness because at least I would know that I need treatment. The indignity of the mental illness cycle is terrifying - seeing someone ill, then treated then going off the meds as soon as they're well because they think they're well and don't think they need the meds. In this case, the woman didn't even seem to have been diagnosed because it looks like she had no one to say: "I think something's not right here."

I know that sometimes being mentally ill/depressed is used as a cop-out to escape responsibilities, but if this woman was mentally ill and had no support network or carer to say: "You need help - go get it or I'm going to call the authorities", then I can easily see how it devolved in the appalling way it did.

Health support services usually won't get involved unless a family member or neighbour draw something to their attention and so if this woman kept to herself and didn't draw attention to herself - no one would have known that she was deteriorating like this. If she did have 'consciousness' and knew what was happening then I have no sympathy but if she was ill then it really wasn't her fault. It's not a matter of being tough/responsible - I've seen mental illness strike unpredictably. In any case, I suppose we are all speculating because none of us know the truth.

ETA: People on this forum are so compassionate about dogs - often it's because they believe that dogs are powerless/helpless to help themselves, they don't have a voice and are not responsible for the horrible circumstances in which they frequently find themselves. Many mentally ill people are in the same predicament.

Edited September 16, 2010 by koalathebear