A Family Wants To Adopt Banshee

[yellowgirl]

Banshee's original story http://www.dolforums.com.au/index.php?show...=194927&hl=

I'd originally thought that Banshee wouldn't be re-homeable as she had a lot of fear and trauma issues, not to mention being diagnosed with pancreatitis and now being treated for stump pyometra. When I first took Banshee in I had a home in mind, a lady who had asked me to look out for a Chinese Crested to join their family, but I didn't contact her because of Banshee's issues. I figured she'd be staying with me long term.

I've already said no to two people who were interested in her (I wasn't considering re-homing her at the time, but they weren't perfect for her anyway).

Well, I caught up with this particular lady a couple of weeks ago and I told her about Banshee. I told her all about her issues and how far she had come, and the lady said she wanted to meet her. I told her I was bringing Banshee into the shop with me on Saturday (last week) as KelpieHoundMum and her daughter were coming in to help with Banshee's regular socialising, and also the behaviourist was popping in to see her, so if the lady wanted to meet her she'd be here. Well, she arrived with hubby and the two kids (boy aged nine and girl aged 12) and everyone fell in love with each other immediately! Banshee particularly bonded with the young boy.

She happily went for a little walk down the street with them and let each of them pick her up and have a cuddle (including the dad!) She wasn't nervous with them at all

... some pics of their meeting ...

Since Saturday we've had some chats about Banshee's history and her current needs and they are aware that Banshee is still recovering from her past traumas. But the family is smitten and want to adopt her.

I know Banshee should be having more attention and exercise than I can currently give her. She also bothers the other dogs to play with her and sometimes they try to hide to get away from her bugging them. I had come to terms with the fact that because of her issues she would be staying with me ... but now here's a family who love her as she is and can give her what she needs in a safe, loving environment.

She still has some fear issues, which the family are fully aware of, I've spoken to the behaviourist, and she thinks Banshee would be fine as long as they are 100% aware of her issues and continue the confidence building work I've been doing with her.

They are moving house at the end of September and I don't want to do anything before then. In the meantime, the behaviourist recommended they take Banshee out for play-dates, get to know her a bit more and make sure this is the dog they want to commit to.

I get pretty choked up when I think about Banshee going somewhere else, I love this little girl so much, but I know this family can provide more attention and exercise than I can, and that's what Banshee needs. I also worry because she was a fear biter when she came to me, what if they cross her fear boundry and she snaps at one of the kids? Part of me thinks that it might be irresponsible to re-home her, but then I think of how she sat and waited by the door after they'd left, and the bond she had with the little boy. And how much they adore her even though they know all about her.

I'd appreciate some input because my heart hurts when I think about it too much. I selfishly want to keep her with me of course, but I want to do what's best for her. Would you re-home her if you were in this situation?

Edited September 20, 2010 by yellowgirl

[OSoSwift]

If you really think the people are listening to what you are saying regarding her fear etc and not to push her too far and if they are willing to contimue with the behaviourilst then I would say yes.

Try to think of it from your head and what is best for her and your other dogs.

Sometimes some things are just meant to be.

And also - of course- stipulate she must come back to you if there are any problems

[frufru]

The play dates sound like and excellent idea - it will give the family time to really think about what having Banshee and her issues really means. I can think of two cases of dogs with issues which have gone to lovely people - but they hadn't really understood what having a dog with issues would be like for the long term - all the work and angst - to some degree they regret taking the dogs. Definitely stipulate that she is to come back to you if they can't keep her.

[CrazyCresties]

Oh what a dilema, so hard when you have bonded with her so much, BUT if they fully appreciate what they are taking on it sounds like it could be good for her too. Sounds like she may be happier being being an only dog as well?

Good luck with your decision and hope it all works out for the best for you all

On the plus side it would leave space for you to help another one in need :D

Edited August 25, 2010 by CrazyCresties

[Ons]

she looks pretty happy with the kids

I think play dates are a great idea, they know all about her and a 100% guarantee that if it doesn't work out that she comes back to you. I think also slightly older kids such as these are may be far less of a risk than very little kids.

[persephone]

OOh

I think, provided they will keep in touch with you, and know you will take her back if difficulties prove too much for them...it could work ?

[Kirty]

I am always cautious about rehoming dogs with issues to families with kids. Because the kids (as they should) will always come first, which doesn't always bode well for the dog if it snaps. These kids are older though so perhaps they will understand not to push her, etc. I would ask the family to take her along to a behaviouralist for a meeting so she can be assessed and they can hear exactly what the dog needs, what her issues are, how much work it will be, etc.

[Esky the husky]

Sounds like this could be a good match

Either way you have improved Banshee's life a millions times over just by taking her into your care :D

[MsKatie]

Jo - however this goes I know you will do the right thing for Banshee - she has come so far since she came to you and maybe you are both ready to take the next step into whatever the future may hold.

Either way your funny little gremlin is coming into her own - what a wonderful thing

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

Sometimes it is the right thing to do, sometimes not. It is a dilemma but the advice to let them get to know each other is fantastic, that's what I do with troubled dogs usually.

I agree that you shouldn't do anything until after they move.

It is always good for a dog to have more attention and she certainly seems to like the family. Just give it some time and I'm sure you'll know the right thing to do, she'll probably let you know herself!

I had a dear little girl here for a few months and one day a family looked at her and they just loved her, she knew she was leaving I can't explain it but she was very happy and it was so much better for her than my home.

[TsarsMum]

im sorry but i have to say when i read the title being a newbie i was like a family wants to adopt a banshee what breed of dog its that i never heard of a banshee dog before.

extreamly blonde moment that was

[MsKatie]

Chinese Crested x gremlin x howler monkey

[TsarsMum]

Chinese Crested x gremlin x howler monkey

wonder what happens when you get it wet HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[MsKatie]

Nah - no danger - she looks like she already morphed

[Tilly]

I think Banshee has picked her new family ... I really think she deserves this chance.

The best chance for it to work is to get the whole family involved with the behaviouralist so they can make a well informed decision ...

[Rascalmyshadow]

I know it is hard but it sounds like Banshee has picked the family she wants to be with.

I took in a rescue poodlex because the owner was worried about the dog snapping at her two boys, he was with us for a few months before being adopted and not once did he show any signs of being aggressive. Her kids were hyper and noisy but our kids are very quiet and calm around the animals and he responded very well.

He is now living with another dog and a young couple who are going to be having children in the next couple of years and they are very confident he will be fine.

Maybe you can arrange to meet up every few months to check on her progress and offer to babysit if they want to go away etc. most of my ex rescues I still groom and a few come and stay with us when their owners go on holidays, it makes it so much easier to let them go.

[Crazy Daisy]

Wow they sound like a great family to be so understanding about all her problems and to be happy to have play dates and not take her immediately. I say go with your gut instinct.

[Loving my Oldies]

The play dates sound like and excellent idea - it will give the family time to really think about what having Banshee and her issues really means. I can think of two cases of dogs with issues which have gone to lovely people - but they hadn't really understood what having a dog with issues would be like for the long term - all the work and angst - to some degree they regret taking the dogs. Definitely stipulate that she is to come back to you if they can't keep her.

I haven't read all the replies, YG, but I have to say that I am with frufru. Sometimes people understand with their hearts, but not their heads and you and they need to know that both their hearts and heads are engaged - LOL. However, as much as your heart may hurt at the thought, if all the playdates go well, I would be inclined to give it a try.

I am having the same predicament with Miss Myrtie. I love her to bits, but I think she could do better than my household and I think Gussy Cat would love to see the back of her.

Banshee has come such a long way with you, something that would never have happened if she hadn't have found you. If she goes to another family and they and she are 100% happy, you will have a space to help another little dog.

:hugs:

[yellowgirl]

Thanks everyone, even now I'm getting choked up thinking about it but the universe put this little girl in my care for a reason and if it's best for her to have a new life where she can blossom even more, then that's what I need to give her.

The behaviourist has kindly offered to help with the transition, and apart from the play dates, we'll be having a few day visits with Banshee to their new home before it becomes permanent. The behaviourist has also offered to slap me around if I start getting emotional and effect Banshee's transition :D

Naturally if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, Banshee comes back to me. Do you guys think I should write up some kind of contract?

Also, we've touched on the subject of money, and even though I've spent well over $1,000 on my little love I thought maybe $300 would be fair to cover desexing, microchipping, vaccinations etc, which is what I would have asked for if it had been a regular foster, desex and rehome. I think she needs to be worth something, if you know what I mean, anyone can say they want to adopt a free dog, but if there's a $$ amount attached to it then they tend to think more carefully about the committment.

Thank you again for your comments and suggestions. As long as the family has all the information and support I can give them, I owe it to Banshee to see how this goes

[~Shepherd~]

You are rehoming her so putting a price on it isnt going to secure her to the best of care, only your jusdgement can do that.