Just In Need Of A Vent!

[SalTheGal]

I’m Tired….

I’m tired of my naughty puppy...

I’m tired of cleaning up wee and poop.

I’m tired of soothing my 4yr olds scratches and nip marks.

I’m tired of getting my clothes wrecked when she decides to jump up and latch on whilst I am walking- therefore ripping them.

I’m tired of not being able to put pantyhose on until just before I leave for work for the above reason.

I’m tired of having to console my 1yr old everytime I turn my back for a second because she has jumped all over him or nipped him.

I’m tired of the fact that if I am supervising she doesn’t go near said 1yr old- so I know damn well she knows it’s not ok.

I’m tired of her being so obsessed with food, and constantly scratching at the pantry/dishwasher door in the hope it might magically open.

I’m tired of trying to praise and reward her for her good behaviour- when it most often follows straight after the bad.

I’m tired of trying to be patient and not scold too much when I feel like she is getting away with blue murder, I’m tired of not being able to vent my frustrations at her!

I’m tired of the fact that I only have to start to say “ahuh” when she is doing something wrong and she ceases straight away- but won’t learn not to do it in the first place.

I’m tired of being the only one who is trying to train her properly, when my husbands answer to her naughtiness is to put her outside (ok I exaggerate- but he still isn’t as diligent as I am).

I’m tired of missing socks and chewed shoes.

I’m tired of tripping over her as she constantly gets under my feet.

I’m tired of wrecked stuffed toys that are precious belongings of my children, because yes as much as I try to tidy up after them, there is always going to be something left out.

I’m tired of trying to be patient and integrate her into our family life as much as possible now that I am back at work- they last thing I want to do is pen her half the night when she is outside all day.

I’m tired of her new trick of barking at us if she wants something she isn’t getting- like getting up on the couch with us.

I’m tired of her responding so well to food rewards as a part of training, but not actually learning whats right and wrong any further than that…. If there is no food reward then there is no good behaviour.

But most of all I an finding that I miss my big beautiful boy who was gentle, and kind, and obedient, and cuddly, and didn’t bite, and didn’t jump, and wasn’t food crazy, I find myself getting angry that she can’t be like him.

She is such a dear thing when she wants to be…. But honestly she has put me off getting another puppy for life, and I hate that!

(Gawd I realise I sound so overly melodramatic.... I know she will be fine- and its probably not all that bad- I just only get a couple of hours when I get home from work to spend with my boys, and I am getting a bit exhausted by Penny constantly ruining our mood!!!!) :D

[TsarsMum]

HUGS HUGS HUGS, she sounds like an awfully hard pup to deal with all the time. are you taking her to training at all? I am going to do the distance k9pro puppy program maybe have a look at that?

you sound like you need some REAL help with this pup she is ruling your life and you will end up resenting her and what she does to the kids they will get a fear of her (specially the baby)

[SalTheGal]

We are about to start obedience with her in a couple of weeks.... just waiting for footy season to finish as its on a Sunday mornings... but I have had several discussions with the dog behaviorist out my vets, and she says everything we are doing is correct- we just need to persist with her- she seems to be extremely stubborn!!!

The boys are surprisingly resilient so far, fingers crossed it doesn't change, my 1yr old will still gladly give her a pat and smile and laugh when she is around, and when I am supervising she can be incredibly gentle with him.... its just when I turn me back she makes the most of the opportunity- she is too smart for her own good!

[TsarsMum]

do you crate her at all? might be a way to getting her to chill a little?

[SalTheGal]

We don't crate her- but we do pen her... she has her pen with toys ,chew stuff etc that I can put her in.... I just prefer not too, when we've been out all day the last thing I want to do is put her in her pen.... if I need to go out of the room etc then she goes in there... but after work we like to try and include her and play with her as much as we can so she isn't feeling left out.

[puglvr]

Just remember , there will be a time in the future where you will "miss my sweet funny sometimes naughty girl" and nothing will bring her back. Love her now. Persist with her. She's a baby and you choose to bring her into your family and she's doing what babies do and will do so for a few more months. Get her crate and use it when you need time out alone with the boys. And make sure you have time out alone with her as well.

Look into those sweet Cocker eyes and love her.

[SalTheGal]

Look into those sweet Cocker eyes and love her.

puglvr... its those sweet innocent Cocker eyes that get her through I tell you!!!!

At the end of the day when the boys are in bed, and she is worn out from all the play/training etc.... she is just the most adorable thing! And yep those eyes- they do make you melt....

[poodlefan]

Sal, I'd say at least 50% of the issues you're having are partly created by you.

I know pups get very frustrating but you need to train smarter. Freedom in the house needs to be earned by appropriate toileting habits. Every accident inside encourages more.

If you cannot watch her, pen her. Personally I'd crate her. If she pees or poos inside, its your fault I'm afraid, not hers.

Edited August 17, 2010 by poodlefan

[Narcissa]

Aww, I really feel for you. Chin up, for if you survive this with grace, you'll attain a patience that rivals Dalai-Lama's. Keep working with her.

[Red Fox]

Sal, I'd say at least 50% of the issues you're having are partly created by you.

I know pups get very frustrating but you need to train smarter. Freedom in the house needs to be earned by appropriate toileting habits. Every accident inside encourages more.

If you cannot watch her, pen her. Personally I'd crate her. If she pees or poos inside, its your fault I'm afraid, not hers.

I'm with PF here.

You need better management. Lay down the groubd rules with her, get some leadership happening. She shouldn't have the opportunity to jump on/nip/scratch your kids. She should either be on lead or crated in the house at all times until she earn the right for you to extend her freedom.

Toilet training is 100% your issue not hers.

If you can't be supervising her -as in you can't control her every move at that time, she needs to be crated, penned or outside.

If she is destroying or stealing yours or kids belongings you need to be confining her to a smaller area where this can't happen.

This might sound harsh and in reality it's not easy. Toilet training is not easy, dealing with a screaming puppy at 2am is not easy, watching puppy have a tantrum at the end of her leash in public is not easy. But laying down the law now will pay off big time as she matures. Promise

[SalTheGal]

Sal, I'd say at least 50% of the issues you're having are partly created by you.

I know pups get very frustrating but you need to train smarter. Freedom in the house needs to be earned by appropriate toileting habits. Every accident inside encourages more.

If you cannot watch her, pen her. Personally I'd crate her. If she pees or poos inside, its your fault I'm afraid, not hers.

I'm with PF here.

You need better management. Lay down the groubd rules with her, get some leadership happening. She shouldn't have the opportunity to jump on/nip/scratch your kids. She should either be on lead or crated in the house at all times until she earn the right for you to extend her freedom.

Toilet training is 100% your issue not hers.

If you can't be supervising her -as in you can't control her every move at that time, she needs to be crated, penned or outside.

If she is destroying or stealing yours or kids belongings you need to be confining her to a smaller area where this can't happen.

This might sound harsh and in reality it's not easy. Toilet training is not easy, dealing with a screaming puppy at 2am is not easy, watching puppy have a tantrum at the end of her leash in public is not easy. But laying down the law now will pay off big time as she matures. Promise

I absolutely agree with you both here! Especially with the toileting.... I DO take full responsibility for her accidents, I never berate her for them... and TBH she is getting better- she seems to have zero warning though when it comes to wee- she will literally stop, drop the bot and do it without any warning, I swear!!!! I've been sooooo obsessive about watching for signs!

I take her out every 30mins or so, and she is brilliant at wee on command... but not so brilliant at learning to let me know if she needs to go out.... I know this one we will get there- and tbh its the least of my concerns.

We have a large living open plan living area.... I have been looking into getting a pen that opens up and stretches out so I can pen off the rumpus/toy area and the rest of the living space so she can't get in there- its definitely been on my mind.

I've tried having her on the lead- but I end up feeling so guilty for keeping her tied up like that! I guess I just need to change my attitude.... and I end up with a very sad 4yr old who wants to play with her all the time if she is penned or on the lead.

Again- I know that all of this is not her fault.... and i don't blame her- and certainly don't take any of it out on her- but honestly I just needed to get it off my chest!!!!! Better that I vent my frustrations here than take them out on her!

Edited August 17, 2010 by SalTheGal

[Jaxx'sBuddy]

Sal, I'd say at least 50% of the issues you're having are partly created by you.

I know pups get very frustrating but you need to train smarter. Freedom in the house needs to be earned by appropriate toileting habits. Every accident inside encourages more.

If you cannot watch her, pen her. Personally I'd crate her. If she pees or poos inside, its your fault I'm afraid, not hers.

I'm with PF here.

You need better management. Lay down the groubd rules with her, get some leadership happening. She shouldn't have the opportunity to jump on/nip/scratch your kids. She should either be on lead or crated in the house at all times until she earn the right for you to extend her freedom.

Toilet training is 100% your issue not hers.

If you can't be supervising her -as in you can't control her every move at that time, she needs to be crated, penned or outside.

If she is destroying or stealing yours or kids belongings you need to be confining her to a smaller area where this can't happen.

This might sound harsh and in reality it's not easy. Toilet training is not easy, dealing with a screaming puppy at 2am is not easy, watching puppy have a tantrum at the end of her leash in public is not easy. But laying down the law now will pay off big time as she matures. Promise

i agree as well. when my puppy was little she was either in her crate, outside peeing or pooing, sleeping or tied to my waist with her lead.

I gave her no opportunity to be bad she could only be good. then she got lots of praise and she was housetrained in 2 weeks and her breed is supposed to be hard to toilet train.

she chewed one thing up because i didnt watch her one day. she is 3 now and still has only chewed that one wrong thing.

if a puppy can only do good things then they learn really quickly.

i just saw your post above. dont give the puppy too big an area to be in as this lets them do the wrong thing. that is why a crate is good, they wont wee or poo where they sleep so keep the area small.

Edited August 17, 2010 by Jaxx'sBuddy

[poodlefan]

Sal we've all been there.

But channel your frustration into action. You've got a smart, active, busy breed. Sort out the basics now and the pay off will last a lifetime.

How is training her not to mouth going?

[SalTheGal]

Sal we've all been there.

But channel your frustration into action. You've got a smart, active, busy breed. Sort out the basics now and the pay off will last a lifetime.

How is training her not to mouth going?

We stop playing with her and give her a OUCH whenever she does it- and she pretty much ceases straight away- but its not so far stopping her from trying again to see how far she can go... I think she is getting gentler though.... if she jumps or nips my eldest he stops dead, and stands still- again she stops straight away as she isn't getting the response she wants. He then starts playing with her again once she is calm.

If she heads towards my youngest and I see her I only need to give her a uhuh and call her and she comes- her saving grace is that she has brilliant recall, and a water tight sit response... I can get her to sit from across the room.

The frustrating thing I think is that she knows what is expected of her- eg she knows she can't go in the pantry- so when I go there she follows me and sits at the door... then she gets treat for doing the right thing... but if I am not watching her she will often go to the door to try her luck if it is open.

She knows she is not allowed on the couch- when we sit down, she sits at our feet to wait till we invite her up.... but if we aren't there she will try to jump up anyway.

If I am supervising her play with 1yr old she will be ever so gentle.... really great... but if I am not right there- she will jump on him and nip at his ears...

I guess the moral here is that I need to supervise her at all times!! I think I am getting the picture!!

[Jaxx'sBuddy]

Sal we've all been there.

But channel your frustration into action. You've got a smart, active, busy breed. Sort out the basics now and the pay off will last a lifetime.

How is training her not to mouth going?

We stop playing with her and give her a OUCH whenever she does it- and she pretty much ceases straight away- but its not so far stopping her from trying again to see how far she can go... I think she is getting gentler though.... if she jumps or nips my eldest he stops dead, and stands still- again she stops straight away as she isn't getting the response she wants. He then starts playing with her again once she is calm.

If she heads towards my youngest and I see her I only need to give her a uhuh and call her and she comes- her saving grace is that she has brilliant recall, and a water tight sit response... I can get her to sit from across the room.

The frustrating thing I think is that she knows what is expected of her- eg she knows she can't go in the pantry- so when I go there she follows me and sits at the door... then she gets treat for doing the right thing... but if I am not watching her she will often go to the door to try her luck if it is open.

She knows she is not allowed on the couch- when we sit down, she sits at our feet to wait till we invite her up.... but if we aren't there she will try to jump up anyway.

If I am supervising her play with 1yr old she will be ever so gentle.... really great... but if I am not right there- she will jump on him and nip at his ears...

I guess the moral here is that I need to supervise her at all times!! I think I am getting the picture!!

just a thought but maybe she doesnt see the kids as her leaders, maybe get her to understand she is lower in the pecking order than them

Edited August 17, 2010 by Jaxx'sBuddy

[poodlefan]

If she heads towards my youngest and I see her I only need to give her a uhuh and call her and she comes- her saving grace is that she has brilliant recall, and a water tight sit response... I can get her to sit from across the room.

Then add a 'stay' and use it when you're dressing. She can't rip your clothes or stockings if she's got her bum planted on the ground.

The frustrating thing I think is that she knows what is expected of her- eg she knows she can't go in the pantry- so when I go there she follows me and sits at the door... then she gets treat for doing the right thing... but if I am not watching her she will often go to the door to try her luck if it is open.

Maybe you need to remove rewards from the pantry proximity. If she's fed for being there with the door open, its not surprising that she tries to open it or offers behaviour that brings reward at other times.

She knows she is not allowed on the couch- when we sit down, she sits at our feet to wait till we invite her up.... but if we aren't there she will try to jump up anyway.

Once again, I'd suggest you teach a substitute behaviour - train her to go to her mat, bed or crate when you are on the couch.

If I am supervising her play with 1yr old she will be ever so gentle.... really great... but if I am not right there- she will jump on him and nip at his ears...

Don't allow this situation to happen.

I guess the moral here is that I need to supervise her at all times!! I think I am getting the picture!!

It doesn't have to be forever for many of the more restrictive practices you need now but you do need to restrict her until you're confident that she knows what's allowed and what's not.

Edited August 17, 2010 by poodlefan

[Red Fox]

We stop playing with her and give her a OUCH whenever she does it- and she pretty much ceases straight away- but its not so far stopping her from trying again to see how far she can go... I think she is getting gentler though.... if she jumps or nips my eldest he stops dead, and stands still- again she stops straight away as she isn't getting the response she wants. He then starts playing with her again once she is calm.

If she heads towards my youngest and I see her I only need to give her a uhuh and call her and she comes- her saving grace is that she has brilliant recall, and a water tight sit response... I can get her to sit from across the room.

The frustrating thing I think is that she knows what is expected of her- eg she knows she can't go in the pantry- so when I go there she follows me and sits at the door... then she gets treat for doing the right thing... but if I am not watching her she will often go to the door to try her luck if it is open.

She knows she is not allowed on the couch- when we sit down, she sits at our feet to wait till we invite her up.... but if we aren't there she will try to jump up anyway.

If I am supervising her play with 1yr old she will be ever so gentle.... really great... but if I am not right there- she will jump on him and nip at his ears...

There's your problem

I guess the moral here is that I need to supervise her at all times!! I think I am getting the picture!!

Yep

PF's advice is good.

[aussielover]

I feel for you Sal!

How old is she?

I think all puppy owners have the same sort of frustrations at some point to some degree (well maybe not the kids part- i don't have kids).

Puppies are hard work, I'd totally forgotten as well after my sweet, perfect old girl (who sounded like your old boy) passed away, about what a puppy could be like.

My puppy is now 18 weeks and is really starting to come good now. She still does occaisonal naughty puppy things, but that is part of the funof having a puppy. It would be pretty boring if puppy was perfect all the time, may as well have gotten a robot dog lol

Today we had a breakthrough with toilet training, she came to get me to let her out, where she will normally go inside if we don't watch her closely and taker her out regularly.

I think you are doing a very good job with your puppy- better to vent here than at your pup!

We are human after all and we can't be perfect all of the time, neither can baby puppies, so keep perservering and know that it will get better

Edited August 17, 2010 by aussielover

[Shakti]

Hi Sal - oh you poor thing!! I totally understand how you feel and I find myself getting into that spiral too!

I think the most important thing to remember at this stage is that it is FAR better for the puppy to be in her pen happily playing with her chew toys etc when you cannot supervise her and have you feel guilty than it is for you to get angry at her when she does her usual puppy things.

Better you feel momentary guilt than it is to have you feeling so stressed and angry with her that it affects your relationship.

Pen her when you must and play/train/interact with her when you are calm and relaxed and have the time to actually enjoy her puppy antics!

[claireybell]

My cocker was soooo cheeky as a puppy. With the right training and persistance your cocker will get better. I must say though when I first got Jesie I was over it by about a month into it! I'd never had a puppy before and she was very tiring! However she is nearly 3 now and is just the most gorgeous dog to be around. Full of enery 24/7 and always on the go but just such a happy little thing. Those eyes are just to die for aren't they?

Hang in there Sal, it does get better.