Help With Project Summary?

[corvus]

I'm wondering if a trainer would do me the favour of reading through my PhD project summary? It's aimed at proficient dog trainers, I guess. It's only about 380 words, but man, I have been trying to walk the line between being scientifically accurate and understandable to a dog trainer with this for over a week and found it absurdly difficult. Anyway, it is vitally important to me that it make complete sense to trainers and not come across snooty or patronising. I would feel so much better about it if someone or a few someones would look at it and, like, try to stab holes in it and rip it to shreds.

Any takers? I don't want to put it up publicly yet and you'll have to promise not to pass it around.

[Cosmolo]

Happy to have a look at it if you'd like.