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What Makes Me Feel Sad & Helpless


SeeGee
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Mia is such a beautiful beagle. She came from the RSPCA as one of the puppies born out of the Wondai dogs being seized. We love her whole heartedly, and are committed to her for life.

Her and our other beagle Charlie are great mates, run together, sleep together, rest together, and often play well together. You can tell they have what a human would interpret to be affection to one another, licking each others faces/mouths, resting on one another etc.

Mia wants to please us. She looks to us as if to say "is this what you want me to do mum/dad, am I doing it right?" and her tail wags, and you can see the anticipation in her eyes. She now sits and waits so nicely I cannot believe it is the same dog we brought home in the beginning. She just seems desperate to do the right thing, make us happy. It makes me feel humbled to be honest.

Mia still has issues with food. We knew she had food aggression when she came home with us, and we have implemented techniques, and have the guidance of an incredible behaviourist. Whilst there have been many improvements, there are always incidents, or setbacks - it makes me feel so helpless.

Mia is such a beautiful dog, with a gorgeous nature, and to see her *GO* at Charlie if she thinks he is too close to her food bowl (doesnt happen every day, maybe once a week) or *GO* at him as he has a toy....if he shows interest in a toy, she wants it. Its obvious that whilst her food aggression has lessened, the resource guarding has moved across to their toys.

Its heartbreaking to watch Charlie run and hide under the table, or just walk away from a toy he was just enjoying. He is such a well adjusted dog that he just kinda chills - like the Fonze I say :dropjaw: . Its heartbreaking that Mia feels she has to do that. Its kills me that I feel helpless. I feel I dont have the knowledge to fix this. I KNOW we are making progress but it feels like its so slow. I dont want Mia to feel like that, and it makes me feel sick to see Charlie slink away, and be tentative and wary for a little while.

I want to cry thinking about my beautiful babies having these problems. I feel so frustrated that I cant just *fix* it.

Thank you for letting me vent :rofl:

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That's not fun. :dropjaw: The toy issue is a hard one, but I would crate Mia at meal times. It doesn't 'fix' the problem, but it prevents it. Also make sure you pick up the bowls as soon as both dogs have finished.

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Over the ages, successful resource guarding has been the difference between survival and death for many animals. There are a number of behaviours that make sense when you consider the survival history of dogs but which don't fit well into our modern expectations or our human world view about sharing and being nice.

Your dogs are just being dogs. While I understand it can be a shock to the system when dogs behave in ways that humans have trouble with, if you don't like the behaviour, you can manage so it doesn't occur as well as train. I agree with Kirty that separate feeding would be good for both dogs.

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Yep - dogs have many behaviours that we, as mere humans cannot really accept is being shown by 'our babies' :rofl: We load our dogs up with all sorts of expectations a lot of the time ...and are brutally brought back to earth when they do something so ..... animal! :dropjaw:

I agree with separating them at mealtimes - feed them out of sight of each other - and immediately remove bowls when they have finished.

When they are together- leave out fairly low value toys.... and plenty of them . Don't give Charlie any attention /sympathy when she warns him off - and just breathe :love:

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My two boys have the same issue. My older boy is food aggressive around our youngest. We have known that from when he was a pup and despite trying a number of things it just hasn't worked.

I never put our boys in the situation where they could fight over food - making sure they are fed in seperate areas.

Even when they go to bed at night (older dog on the veranda on his bed beside the pup in his pen) I have to hang a sheet between the boys while they eat their bones otherwise the older boy will try to intimidate the younger one even though he can't get to his food.

It is definately safer and easier to feed them seperate in their crates or in seperate rooms - this way food won't be allowed to spoil a otherwise wonderful relationship.

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One of my dogs is a resource guarder and while I know how you feel - that the other dog doesn't deserve to be treated that way, it is important that you exercise leadership and discipline consistently in these situations.

For me, Brodie is fed in the kitchen, Reuben in the laundry. They have to earn their meals with down-stays for 3-5 minutes and when they're done eating, I check that Brodie has finished and wait a few minutes before removing her bowl and letting Reuben in because he has rushed at her and become possessive over her empty bowl in the past.

Give my nervous under-socialised pushy dog an inch and he will run a mile, and then some, breaking several things along the way. If I cut him some slack, it will result in large vet bills and chunks of dislodged fur from a traumatised lab. Funnily enough, Reuben has never had a problem sharing drinking water with Brodie, or a dog bed. It's just food and certain toys.

Edited by Ms Genki
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Mia is such a beautiful dog, with a gorgeous nature, and to see her *GO* at Charlie if she thinks he is too close to her food bowl (doesnt happen every day, maybe once a week) or *GO* at him as he has a toy....if he shows interest in a toy, she wants it. Its obvious that whilst her food aggression has lessened, the resource guarding has moved across to their toys.

Its heartbreaking to watch Charlie run and hide under the table, or just walk away from a toy he was just enjoying. He is such a well adjusted dog that he just kinda chills - like the Fonze I say :mad . Its heartbreaking that Mia feels she has to do that. Its kills me that I feel helpless. I feel I dont have the knowledge to fix this. I KNOW we are making progress but it feels like its so slow. I dont want Mia to feel like that, and it makes me feel sick to see Charlie slink away, and be tentative and wary for a little while.

Agree with SSMagpie

and I think you're attributing too much emotion to what is normal dog behaviour ;)

dog1: "I'm coming towards what you want"

dog 2: "Get stuffed or I will kill you"

[dog 1 skulks away]

End of issue.

Happy family resumes.

Edited by lilli
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I actually find the interactions between my dogs on this issue really interesting. Sometimes I feel a bit of pity creep in but in the end I enjoy watching my dogs be dogs.

In our case there has been a benefit to our older boy's mild resource guarding -- the puppy learned very quickly that you don't steal things from older or more senior ranking dogs. She's also now got great appeasement gestures.

Thankfully ours is only mild (a growl is as far as it goes) but we still separate to feed high value items and only leave lower value toys in the yard.

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Wish my older boy was like that wuffles ...

When our older boy was about 18 months - 2years he turned on our rottie (they had been fed seperately and I had just let the rottie out to go to the toilet but was standing between them). The GSD had finished his breakfast and without warning turned on the rottie - ripped his face open.

Not long ago I was getting both GSD boys their breakfast and was sorting out some bones in the garage/freezer. Older GSD was with me and the younger one was in the backyard. The younger GSD had just had a drink and was heading to his bed (about 3 metres away) to wait for his breakfast when the older GSD turned and went for him. Normally I could seperate them verbally but this morning the older boy ignored me. I managed to grab him by the back legs and dragged him backwards off the pup (and into the puppy pen) before he could cause too serious of an injury (thankfully only some small holes in his face and bruising). Needless to say he got no breakfast for that behaviour.

I have to be extremely careful about feeding my boys - they have set feeding places. The older boy has his table and the younger on is either in the puppy pen with the gate locked or in his side of the yard. I never allow the one dog near the others bowl even when they are empty.

If I give the boys bones while I am at work then I need to do a complete yard sweep prior to letting them in together otherwise there could be a fight about a bone - which is why I usually only give them bones they can eat fully.

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Yes Tilly I'm glad ours isn't a big issue. In saying that, our girl is only 7 months old, has just started to lose her puppy license, so we will keep an eye on them as she gets older. She doesn't like to share her food either, but is so in love with her "big brother" that we don't have a problem.

We had a foster greyhound here who was quite food aggressive (only around other dogs) and she had a go at my boy because he was sniffing the ground and she assumed he had food! It was just a lot of noise though and neither of them were hurt. We were super careful with them, they were fed completely separately.

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I am putting too much human emotion into it :o I can't help it. Im trying to step back from it, I just get so involved. Sometimes its good to be told too :o Cheers :(

If its any consolation and shows how wonderful and normal your dogs are :(

Your Mia sounds like a well behaved angel

compared to one or two of my dogs

who would fight to maim or kill if another dog came near what was there's - and running under the table would not afford the dog they were affter any mercy.

Mia is a good 'un :laugh:

Edited by lilli
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I put too much human emotion into ours as well. Unfortunately one of ours is so bossy towards the other one that she even herds her (usually away from us....), so the poor little bugger can't even walk anywhere in our house some days without being bullied by the older one. On these days it is very hard for me.......I find it extremely difficult to watch so I usually end up separating them and one gets time with my husband, and the other with me.....or I take them for separate walks. It REALLY pushes my buttons though!

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Unfortunately one of ours is so bossy towards the other one that she even herds her (usually away from us....), so the poor little bugger can't even walk anywhere in our house some days without being bullied by the older one. On these days it is very hard for me.......I find it extremely difficult to watch so I usually end up separating them and one gets time with my husband, and the other with me.....or I take them for separate walks. It REALLY pushes my buttons though!

THere is times when you do have to exercise control over the other dog and this is one of them. Not a problem you just let go if your dog is that extreme at excluding the other and guarding you.

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Yeah my sibe is an awful resource guard and it's made worse by the fact that his warning off 'signals' are often way too subtle for my poor little chi to understand, whereas many dogs might lift a lip or growl in warning the sibe will just give a 'look' that not everyone is quick enough to pick up on. They get separated when I'm not home and when I am home I do my best to make sure there is nothing of value around for them to fight over. I've managed to avoid a lot of problems just by changing the way I manage them. It's a PITA and it would be nice if they just got along without having to be managed to that extent but as others have said dogs will be dogs :noidea:

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