I Had To Sleep In The Dog Bed...

[Simply Grand]

http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/n...at_should_i_do/

Dear Bossy: I don’t even know where to begin with my problem. It’s been going on for a few months ago. I guess I just should come out and say it.

In January, I bought my girlfriend a puppy....[edited] She absolutely adores him. When we got him he was 8 weeks old, and used to yelp if we left him alone, so she used to get him to sleep in the bed with us, and immediately our sex life halted whilst he was in this yelping puppy stage.

Anyways, now that he’s settled in she still will not let him sleep out of our bed. I bought him a top of the line dog basket, lined with this beautiful warm rug, and it cost me 500 bucks, and he has never even stepped paw in it.

I met my girlfriend for coffee the other day in my lunch break, and I asked her not to bring Oscar (that’s his name) along, but she did, and everytime I brought up the subject of us not getting any nookie, he started barking louder then my voice, she got frustrated, and took off with the dog.

I’ve tried to initiate sex in the bedroom, but oscar keeps looking at us, and when I try to get him out of the room he won’t budge. I can’t even get it up if oscar is looking at me, and because of this my girlfriend told me to go see a doctor about my apparent “erectile dysfunction”.

This all came to a head the other night when i was working overtime. I came home about 1 in the morning, both of them were sprawled out in the bed, and when i tried to get in, oscar growled at me, and I ended up sleeping in the brand new dog basket. Wells as you can imagine when my girlfriend awoke the next day, she told me i’m pathetic, and that i should move out.

I’m so frustrated, everytime I paws for reflection over it I start actually getting a tear, I mean i really love this girl.

Sincerely, Mans real best friend.

Bossy says: Never have the words “in the dog house” been more apt.

This hound needs to learn who is boss. At the moment it is certainly not you.

Next time you want to be intimate with your girlfriend pick the dog up and dump it in another part of the house. If he is a biter, wrap your arm in a hoodie first. Close door on dog. Tell your grilfriend you find it disturbing being watched by a dog when you are on the job and he can come back after in afterwards.

Learn to negotiate with your girlfriend and stand up to the dog. If it growls, reprimand it loudly. I expect as soon as you stop acting like a sook and bending over for the dog it will start respecting you and the time you want alone with your girlfriend.

And remember, if you lie down with dogs you will get up with fleas.

[FranVT]

Aaahahahahaha, I love Bossy. I think this person is a troll though. "Paws" for reflection? Come on.

[MolassesLass]

Aaahahahahaha, I love Bossy. I think this person is a troll though. "Paws" for reflection? Come on.

For sure.

ETA: Can anyone think of a dog basket that any human could actually sleep in?

Edited June 25, 2010 by molasseslass

[Simply Grand]

Well if you spent $500 on a dog bed you'd wanna be able to sleep in it!

Even if it is a troll, I love the image of Oscar eyeballing the BF when he's in bed and the BF slinking away to sleep in the dog bed. Not the perfectly good couch of course...