Ms Genki Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) Baifra, it was not your fault. It is not analogous but I am only in my twenties and had not seen a good school mate for 2 weeks, both of us having recently graduated and started working. I got a call on a Monday morning to say that she was in a coma and that life support had to be turned off. I never got to say farewell to her when she was conscious, or tell her how much I appreciated her friendship and I lost one of my most compassionate inspiring friends. Her birthday is next month and it has weighed on my mind. Death happens in terrible and tragic ways that no one could ever comprehend. You must not blame yourself. Guilt stems from helplessness, regardless of whether one is present or not. You were by her side at her time of need, you relieved her of a great deal of discomfort than if she'd been alone, you gave her love and that made a difference. I truly hope that you and your family will be okay sooner than later. :D Edited May 24, 2010 by Ms Genki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nynka Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Im so sorry to read your story, please don't blame yourself. RIP Phoebe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoozoo Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. Look after yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilly Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Baifra, this is definitely not your fault. This could have happened at any time ... even if your parents had been home. Not wanting to sound callous but your parents should never have left the snail baits on a shelf were there was some risk the box could have fallen. The snail baits should have been safely locked away in a dog proof cabinet – or even thrown away. All our snail baits were tossed once we got dogs, as the risk is just too high. Very sorry for your families loss :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bow Wow Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 What a tragic accident :D There is nothing that i can say to take away the guilt and the pain you are feeling, except that after I lost my angel Bindi, I was riddled with guilt, that everything was out of whack that fateful day. But I came to the conclusion that maybe no matter what we do, when they are called to the bridge, they have to go. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Her Majesty Dogmad Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I'm so very sorry, it is an awful accident to happen. Please don't blame yourself, sometimes things happen that cannot be forseen, no matter how hard we try. She looks like a real darling who was very treasured on this earth, I'm glad she had such a wonderful and loving family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirty Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Baifra I am so sorry, but please don't blame yourself. This was just a horrible horrible accident. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxiewolf Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Baifra, I know lots of people will say this and Ill say it too, Im still beating myself up over an accident that took my most loved furbaby away from me 10 years ago now... It was an accident... a crazy chain of events that could not be undone, if just one of those events hadnt happened then quite likely Clyde woudl still be here... but they happened. And noone can control all events... You can drive yourself very insanely Ill by thinking coulda woulda shoulda.... An Accident Is an accident and your parents would know that, you where there for her in the end... and that is the most important thing. RIP Phoebe :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentchild Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I am so so sorry to hear this. Please don't blame yourself. Accidents happen even when people take every precaution to ensure they don't. It's not your fault. She seems like a lovely girl, my condolences to you and your family. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fleuri Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Big hug, sorry for your loss. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip1981 Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Baifra, I'm so sorry to hear of your family's painful loss. I couldn't see through the tears to reply earlier, so I've returned now to reply. It brought back memories of a close call while we were away on our honeymoon, but we were luckier, I can't imagine how sad you must feel. Please listen to everybody and don't blame yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavNrott Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Baifra I am so very sorry. What a terrible accident to happen to beautiful Phoebe. Rest In Peace Phoebe :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staffordgirl Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I am so sorry Baifra :rolleyes: Try not to blame yourself, it was just a horrible accident. Thinking of you, your OH and your parents at this sad time RIP Phoebe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkehre Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Baifra, I am so so very sorry to hear of what happened to Phoebe. You and your family must be devastated. It is not anyone's fault. Just an awful accident. RIP beautiful Phoebe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiekaye Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Sorry this happened to you and your family. Not your fault. Shit happens sometimes. Stay strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 What a hugely sad sad thing to have happened, Biafra :rolleyes: . You all must be just so devastated. No point in telling you not to blame yourself: you will and you will go through all the "what ifs" a thousand times over. As dyzney says: it was just an awful accident. They happen and people are left shocked and bereft and wondering why. There aren't any answers really. Sincerest condolences to you and your family. Phoebe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love dribbly dogs Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 There are no words that will help.. but.. It will be okay.. and she is in a happy place with other loved doggies. Sorry for the loss and may it get easier for you and your parents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Aussie Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 So sorry Baifra, how horrible :D I know it won't make a difference but please don't feel responsible, it was just a horrible accident. Snail pellets are sooo nasty, we dont have them anywhere on the property, inside/outside/locked up as this is my worst fear :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okami Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 :D :p :D Thinking of you... I am sorry for your loss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wazzat Xolo Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Many posters will tell you that this is not your fault Baifa.Listen to them. This is a dreadful accident that could have happened on any day whether your parents were home or not. Many dogs seem to find snail bait highly palatable. RIP Phoebe. :D what a great post Listen and know its not anyones fault. These things happen for a reason. God knows why but they say it becomes clearer with age. Hugs to you and the family at this special time xoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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