Please Help. My Daughter Is Terrified Of Our Dog.

[Verdant Amphibian]

It's easy to develop phobias to certain things. A possible explanation is that it's an evolutionary thing - someone who is scared of snakes is more likely to avoid them, live longer and procreate etc It's easy for some people to develop a fear of dogs - one frightening experience, if it's not over whelmed by lots of positive ones, could do it. Even something scary on TV could have been enough. So I wouldn't be freaking out that your daughter has a phobia it's not nice but it's probably nothing to worry about.

I would definitely get a trainer in for the dog. Your daughter needs lots of calm pleasant, non-frightening experiences around dogs, if a trainer can get your dog to the point where he can be calm around your little girl that's great if not then maybe you should look at a smaller calmer dog. Until he's at the point where he's calm around her I would keep them separated as much as possible. Every time he jumps on her he's likely reinforcing her fear. Make sure she can watch the training, but don't push interaction.

Once he's settled and you don't have to separate them then everytime she sees him sleeping in his bed or sitting for treats it'll make her more comfortable.

[boxerfamily]

Thank you everyone for your replies. My husband and I have decided to go for the 2 pronged approach as suggested by some of you. I have tracked down and phoned Dr Guastella who was mentioned in the SMH article and he has put me in touch with the 'Australian Psychological Society' who have a list of psychs who work with kids and phobias. I am about to start calling them to try to find someone good.

The other thing we will do is get a trainer to come over here and teach us all how to help Molly be as calm as possible and respond to our commands. She is pretty chilled out for a boxer pup (so I have been told by lots of people), but can still run around like a lunatic sometimes, and can be a bit Jekyll and Hyde sometimes, ie: a fun game can turn into her jumping up. She has never actually jumped up on Sarah though, because she has never been able to get close enough!

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate your replies.

Now onto my next question... she seems a bit skinny, how can I fatten her up?, LOL. I think I will post this in the feeding section....

[Zhou Xuanyao]

A tough situation boxerfamily.

It sounds like you are on the right track good on you. I think you should keep the dog, like you say you have the other 3 kids to think about aswell, and now you will be getting your daughter the help she needs, she will be rid of this phobia for good and you all can be a "boxerfamily".

I have known an adult in the past with this type of extreme, irrational fear of dogs, so I understand what you daughter must be like. Experts on phobias will have various methods and i'm sure they will be effective particularly because she is young.

[Austerra]

Agree with others that boxer probably wasn't the best choice of breed for your daughter or as first time dog owners yourselves.

I was scared stiff of dogs when I was around your daughters age and my older sister would walk around the block to avoid a dog, I ended up with Dobes, kelpies and aussie terriers and my sister with rotties. Hopefully it will just be a matter of her growing past the phobia.

[Aziah]

Sounds like a good plan boxerfamily

I hope it all works out but if it doesn't and you find yourself needing to rehome your puppy, get in contact with her breeder for help

Good luck

[Hello Gorgeous]

Is it possible for the dog to stay with grandparents/relatives temporarily while you work the situation out? That way your other children can go around and still play with her

I've got a cousin who is simply terrified of ... small, fluffy animals. Terrified as in she will burst into hysterics and almost had to be sedated in order to calm down. Anything small and fluffy - kittens, puppies, rabbits .. it's bizarre! But anyway, she's been seeing a hypnotherapist lately to get out of it and she says it's really begun to work, and she actually feels like cuddling one now - she used to freak out at even a PHOTO of one. Might be an option, although I'm not sure if she's old enough.

[GoldenGirl85]

I have two little cousins who always believed they were scared of dogs, simply because mum didnt want one, so she kept telling the girls from the time they were toddlers that they were scared of dogs...and of course they believed her. Im glad to say now that at ages 9 and 6 they got their first puppy, a little Maltese x Shih Tzu girl who they both love to death

My niece is a good example of fears, she is terrified of loud noises, my mum used to babysit her every monday, and every monday they would go out the front and watch the garbage man take the rubbish, she used to love going out and watching the truck, she would wave at the driver and he would wave back...then one week, she wouldnt have a bar of it, the previous week she was fine, this was when she was about 12-18 months old, she is now 3.5 and she is still terrified of anything loud. Nobody knows what has triggered this, her parents cant think of anything which would cause it

Im not saying either of these situations suits your daughters fear, the first is a classic example of parents causing their own childrens fears (I see this on an almost daily basis in my job) the second is just an example of a fear that is caused by the unknown, which is similar to your daughters case, you say she has never had a bad experience with dogs, which may be true, but you need to remember you cant watch your children all the time, you never know if something happened to her when she was a toddler, she wont remember it, but it was the base of the fear and it has just escalated over time, it even could have been something as little as a barking dog on tv which has frightened her when she was a toddler, and because she didnt have a dog at home to relate that barking dog to a good experience, she has told herself that dogs=barking=scary

Taking her to a child psychologist would be the first step, there is obviously something deep in there which they might be able to pull out and make sense of, I also agree that it might be an idea to send the pup to stay with someone else for a little while, you sort out your daughter as she is your main priority, you could make a point of taking the boys to visit the puppy once a week (or what ever suits), ask your daughter if she wants to come along, if she says no then maybe give her some one on one time with you or your partner, one of you take the boys to visit the pup and the other one spend some quality time with Sarah, and alternate each time, she might get inquisitive and wonder whats going on with the puppy and ask to come along, if she does then dont force play, if she wants to pat the pup make sure she is on a lead and you have control of her, and encourage her to pat the pup on the back

Good luck sorting this out, I hope you dont have to rehome the pup

(Just to add, I used to be scared of the toilet flush...no idea why, I used to get out of the toilet as soon as I hit the button so I didnt have to be in the room, then one day, I guess I was about 16 or 17...I stopped to wonder why I got out so quickly, and a load of memories flooded back, none that caused the fear, but just memories of being scared of the flush, that day I made myself stay in there until it the tank had stopped refilling...and I survived to tell the story, fears are funny, they can be caused by the silliest little thing, but they can affect you for your whole life unless you come to the realisation by whatever method that it is just an irrational fear...now as for spiders, I dont care what people tell me they are all out to get me, and I have the best method for disposal...a JRT lol)

Edited May 12, 2010 by GoldenGirl85

[Earthdog]

For pity sake DON'T get Barkbusters.

[tianakaesha]

Barkbusters.... you mean Dogbreakers, don't you?

[Earthdog]

That'd do it too.