How To Give A Cat A Pill

[lappiemum]

How to Give a Cat a Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail.

Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and

set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed.

Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.

Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.

Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

Edited April 28, 2010 by lappiemum

[HeavyPaws]

My favourite way of giving my cat pills is to wrap her in a blanket James Herriot style and when she opens her mouth to yowl I drop it down and follow it up with a quick squirt of water.

If I do it any other way eventually I end up cradling my hands in a bloody tea towel while roaring "Fine then! Die of worms! See if I care!" at the fleeing cat

[lillim]

Classic

[MavericksMission]

So true.. so very, very true

[jackie_a1]

I own two cats and that's pretty much the process haha

[mita]

There was a tip on DOL that a good way to give a dog a pill was in a dob of ice-cream.

I found that was no-fail, no-fuss. Just gulped down, with the dog looking for more.

Tried it on the puss, too, & it worked!!!!!!!

[HeavyPaws]

There was a tip on DOL that a good way to give a dog a pill was in a dob of ice-cream.

I found that was no-fail, no-fuss. Just gulped down, with the dog looking for more.

Tried it on the puss, too, & it worked!!!!!!!

I personally found the best way for my ultra-clever kelpie was to put her pill in a glob of raw mince, sit my toddler at the table, and put the mince ball in front of her on the plate.

My toddler would squeal "EWWW!" and flick it off the plate onto the floor. Shash would leap in, snatch the ball up and eat it in a split second because she thought she was being a food thief.

Ha stupid dog

[Skitch]

Haha this certainly has some truth to it! I've never met a cat that would be given a pill easily.. and ones that will eat pills disguised in food are far and in between! Cats are too smart for their own good sometimes

[lappiemum]

There was a tip on DOL that a good way to give a dog a pill was in a dob of ice-cream.

I found that was no-fail, no-fuss. Just gulped down, with the dog looking for more.

Tried it on the puss, too, & it worked!!!!!!!

I personally found the best way for my ultra-clever kelpie was to put her pill in a glob of raw mince, sit my toddler at the table, and put the mince ball in front of her on the plate.

My toddler would squeal "EWWW!" and flick it off the plate onto the floor. Shash would leap in, snatch the ball up and eat it in a split second because she thought she was being a food thief.

Ha stupid dog

LOL

[bluecollie]

As an owner of 5 cats my secret is acrylic nails... saying no more

[Bjelkier]

[Gayle.]

I'd like instructions on how to give a cat that yellow worm paste. Cos my cats managed to expand 1 ml of yellow paste to cover the drapes, the furniture, the walls....and themselves!

[whippets]

I just crush the pill, mix to a thick paste with water then smear it across their front leg. They hate "dirty stuff" on their coat and lick it off.

Get a pill down their throat? not a chance in hades

[macka]

[tdierikx]

Hmmm... as an owner of large breed dogs, it is my habit to just open the mouth, shove the pills in, then close the mouth and blow in it's nose (makes it swallow)...

... also works successfully on cats if you are quick about it - poor things don't know what hit them... *giggle*

Personally, as someone who is quite allergic to cats, I go for the quickest way to deal with them and get myself away from them... nothing worse than spending an evening up to yer neck in a Radox bath when you have other things to do...

T.

[greytdog]

I use a pill popper that I got from the vet. Works (mostly). Still sometimes need to wrap the cat (yes, Herriot was a bit slow, but by God, he could wrap a cat (by his own admission)).

Luckily, the cat that had to have pills every day was pretty good about it.

For the dog, I push pill into some devon and it usually goes down. If she drops the pill, particularly the fish oil one, she has been known to lick it up off the floor if I'm holding another piece of devon. I find giving her the pill one, and holding another one in front of her works well b/c she's in such a hurry to get to the second one that she just gulps the pill one down.

[Simply Grand]

So true!

Me giving Charlie a pill as a kitten - Pick up Charlie and cradle him in the crook of my left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As Charlie opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow Charlie to close mouth and swallow. Charlie swallows, licks his nose, open his mouth and check, and pill is gone. All good! What an easy puddy cat

Me giving Charlie a pill every time after that - Go through the above. Charlie swallows, licks his nose, open his mouth and check... think oh good, pill is gone. Find pill on floor half an hour later. Repeat previous several times. Following this, see rest of original post.

And if you think giving pills is bad, try giving a cat a bath! How can a 5kg cat be stronger than fully grown adult applying all her weight! I literally have scars from claws climbing up my chest *sigh*

Me giving Saxon pills - don't even bother trying buddy, you have two cat siblings and you got nothin'. That pill is down your throat

[HeavyPaws]

I use a pill popper that I got from the vet. Works (mostly). Still sometimes need to wrap the cat (yes, Herriot was a bit slow, but by God, he could wrap a cat (by his own admission)).

I actually remember that quote as well! I think it was when he visited the cat lady with...Tristan? Chasing the cats around with the gloves

I haven't read him for quite a long time

[Cordelia]

As an owner of 5 cats my secret is acrylic nails... saying no more

I have 2 cats and acrylic nails... makes like a damn site easier for pill popping!

My dogs either get it shoved down their throat or just simply wrapped in some cheese if I have any here. They couldn't care less.. sticking your hand into a great danes mouth is very easy

[tdierikx]

My current dogs will take a pill from your hand as though it's a treat... except worming tablets...

T.