People Asking For Help

[Shakti]

Hi everyone,

I have been watching other threads where people have asked for help and suggestions Amidst all the constructive and useful suggestions of which there were many , there were some downright nasty innuendos based on absolutely nothing but the writer's own skewed vision of the world- these personal thinly-veiled attacks do nothing to help the dogs in question nor do they encourage people to come here and ask for advice

If these spiteful, personal assumptions about people and their motives continue we will scare people off coming here - they present the facts and ask for help only to have baseless assumptions made about their personal lives and character - how on earth does this encourage people to be honest about their mistakes and get some help for the dogs that they obviously care about?

Are we about helping dogs or bashing people!???

Edited April 11, 2010 by Brooke

[Greytmate]

I think in this case we need to understand that the person was working under the 'direction' of a rescue organisation.

Good online advice as ignored, but how does the person know that what I or somebody else says here might be better advice than what her group was directing her to do with the dog that they own?

The person getting angry and nasty at her wasn't to know how badly the person had been let down by the group she had volunteered for.

It is frustrating to hear of dodgy rescue practices. In this case it was unfortunate that it took so long for us here to go from just talking online to actually doing something with the OP to discover the real extent of the problem and discovered the dog wasn't suited to being rehomed. That wasn't the OP's fault. I don't think the angry person understood just how alone the OP was with that dog, and that they weren't to know what to do to even find out if the dog was rehomeable or not.

When we give advice to new people in future, those of us that know each other need to back each other up a little more I think. Because by the time people got angry, it was way too late.

[Kirty]

I also think that rather than defending the breed, the poster in question has made it look like Grey's need to be protected from the world - nobody should foster them unless they have 30 years experience, they aren't nice dogs they have to be MADE into nice dogs, etc. She goes on about protecting the breed's reputation but is up in arms because someone thinks a cat, small dog and food aggressive dog SHOULDN'T be rehomed?

Getting nasty with someone will never help them. I wish that people on here could always be considerate in the way they word their replies, but its a public forum so you can't really control that.

[Loving my Oldies]

Probably unwise to re-start a thread that was closed, and even more unwise for me to comment .

There are many people who become passionate about their breed of choice, their hobby, their whatever it is they do, to the extent that they lose perspective. They seem not to be able to take in and/or comprehend what is being said. They fasten onto one point only and just can't get past that.

I've never been in the show world and have only read about what goes on there and it is even worse (from what I've read) than the world of Rescue to the extent the people even poison other dogs.

I have seen so many threads over the years where people ask the OP questions that have been answered. For example: what breed are your dogs, do you have children, how are your fences, how many dogs do you have, how old are your dogs, etc etc etc. It is obvious that the people asking the questions haven't bothered to read the various posts or they would know the answers to these questions. They just can't wait to get THEIR opinion in.

As Kirty says:

Getting nasty with someone will never help them. I wish that people on here could always be considerate in the way they word their replies, but its a public forum so you can't really control that.

In fact, DOL isn't as bad as it used to be. I was constantly being shocked at the way new people were leapt on from a great height because they asked a question.

That said, I am also astounded by the ignorance of some people when they get a dog (me included many years ago, when I first took on two Maltese puppies ).

[Dame Aussie]

I just read the thread and agree that the person in question was way out of line. Disgustingly nasty is how I'd put it. Very sad

[Baileys mum]

I just read the thread and agree that the person in question was way out of line. Disgustingly nasty is how I'd put it. Very sad

I just read it too, & I must say I have to agree. Getting nasty is certainly not going to help the dog in question or the breed. ;)

I don't think the OP deserved to be attacked like that ,especially when she was obviously so upset & sorry about the situation.

[Rebanne]

This thread is against forum rules. Rehashing a closed thread.

[Shakti]

There is no intention here of re-hashing any thread in particular - just a comment that many, many DOLers have become too scared to post here asking for advice due to the way that many people have been treated due to their genuine ignorance or circumstances etc. The latest thread is simply ONE example of the kind of vicious attacks that have sadly become far too common,

[Rebanne]

There is no intention here of re-hashing any thread in particular - just a comment that many, many DOLers have become too scared to post here asking for advice due to the way that many people have been treated due to their genuine ignorance or circumstances etc. The latest thread is simply ONE example of the kind of vicious attacks that have sadly become far too common,

Rubbish! You have targetted a closed thread. You have made it obvious which thread you are talking about in your very first sentence. While you claim many people are too scared to ask advice I would counter with too many are not interested in any advice unless it suits them, and are not prepared to listen to people who have been in dogs for a long, long time and often have some real gems to share.

Now you can post about me and say how mean I am for daring to point out the forum rules to someone who should know better.

[Guest acb123]

There is no intention here of re-hashing any thread in particular - just a comment that many, many DOLers have become too scared to post here asking for advice due to the way that many people have been treated due to their genuine ignorance or circumstances etc. The latest thread is simply ONE example of the kind of vicious attacks that have sadly become far too common,

I have to agree. I hung back for a while on DOL to learn the vibe of this website & what people thought about dog ownership.

I learnt a LOT from reading the posts on here and I watched some people being destroyed & torn to shreds by "advanced" members that knew it all.

I can honestly say "good for you" to all those "experienced" members but to be honest instead of educating people you just humiliate them & scare them off & then you have not educated anyone in the process.

Other advanced members have a nice finesse to how they gently guide people with compassion & understanding. I love those members! ;)

I think people need to be a bit more tolerant, especially those that are experienced because we need your knowledge, just not the sarcasm & put downs that go with it.

And Rebanne this isn't a "rehashing" this is about getting the message out to members to try and communicate respectfully. I think your previous post is already getting a bit on the "terse" side.

Edited April 11, 2010 by acb123

[mita]

This thread is against forum rules. Rehashing a closed thread.

Agree.

If someone fears that they're being personally trashed, rather than an issue addressed, then they should report it to the Mods.

I've found the Mods on DOL do a jolly good job in this regard.....specially given that it's an open public forum with thousands of people using it.

Edited April 11, 2010 by mita

[Shakti]

Rebanne, I have edited my first post to remove any reference to any particular thread. It is an overall observation about nastiness and cruelty NOT about people getting advice which they disagree with. Everyone has the right to agree or disagree with advice offered - that is NOT what I am talking about.

Rebanne - you may believe that *too many are not interested in any advice unless it suits them, and are not prepared to listen to people who have been in dogs for a long, long time and often have some real gems to share.*

But I think the fact that people post in here indicates that they ARE interested in advice. They have every right to act on it or ignore it but I believe people asking for advice should be treated respectfully and not humiliated and attacked.

[mita]

Rebanne, I have edited my first post to remove any reference to any particular thread. It is an overall observation about nastiness and cruelty NOT about people getting advice which they disagree with. Everyone has the right to agree or disagree with advice offered -

Good move, Brooke. ;)

It actually makes the point you want to make clearer... rather than risking things getting bogged down in the rights & wrongs of the particular closed thread.

I like the cricket analogy.....where you play the ball & not the person. Same with an issue....play to what it's all about, not highly emotional whacks at the person. That still allows for robust debate.....without personal abuse.

Edited April 11, 2010 by mita

[Rebanne]

:

I think people need to be a bit more tolerant, especially those that are experienced because we need your knowledge, just not the sarcasm & put downs that go with it.

And Rebanne this isn't a "rehashing" this is about getting the message out to members to try and communicate respectfully. I think your previous post is already getting a bit on the "terse" side.

b

Thanks for your concern. But until the OP edited their post, the thread that was the target of this one was easy to find and another Doler was hung out to dry and you only have to read posts from those above yours to see what people are saying about her. I agree her manner was not right but I actually did agree with some of her thoughts but I also disagreed with parts.

So the OP started a thread saying play nice, then made it easy for people to not play nice by directing them to a specific thread.

This thread won't last long because I have reported it for being against forum rules.

[Guest acb123]

This thread won't last long because I have reported it for being against forum rules.

Great so we can all start the thread again (yes minus any reference to a previous thread) to get the point across AGAIN about respecting people!

[Shakti]

Good grief Rebanne!

I am merely asking that people especially more experienced DOLers be aware that sometimes the personally vindictive nature of SOME posts may scare off many newbies here who would otherwise stay and learn from all the knowledge that is here.

I apologise for my original post but truthfully no one needs to exactly search hard to find a thread which has someone asking for advice or help and being lambasted!

[Guest acb123]

Good grief Rebanne!

I am merely asking that people especially more experienced DOLers be aware that sometimes the personally vindictive nature of SOME posts may scare off many newbies here who would otherwise stay and learn from all the knowledge that is here.

I apologise for my original post but truthfully no one needs to exactly search hard to find a thread which has someone asking for advice or help and being lambasted!

Don't worry Brooke I understand the point you are making. It looks like Rebanne is exhibiting the same behaviour as people that don't like what other people have to say so they get the thread shut down

[Rebanne]

This thread won't last long because I have reported it for being against forum rules.

Great so we can all start the thread again (yes minus any reference to a previous thread) to get the point across AGAIN about respecting people!

do a search, there have been plenty of these threads in the past.

[Rebanne]

Good grief Rebanne!

I am merely asking that people especially more experienced DOLers be aware that sometimes the personally vindictive nature of SOME posts may scare off many newbies here who would otherwise stay and learn from all the knowledge that is here.

I apologise for my original post but truthfully no one needs to exactly search hard to find a thread which has someone asking for advice or help and being lambasted!

I reported the thread before your edit.

[Shakti]

and again........good grief!