It's Been A While Since You Left But I Still Remember You

[spirrall]

My dear Ben,

You were sick for a long long time. You came to us with a rash on you neck, you had diarrhea. We didn't know that was bad because you were our first one. Slowly, that rash disappeared but you had different and new problems everyday. We were confused as to why you were sick because you did everything Pudding did, you ate everything Pudding ate but you continuously looked sick, vomited, and was very inactive. We visited the vets all the time but they couldn't give us an answer. You looked healthy, everything was fine but something haunted your body. We loved you even though we had to force feed you everyday for those long months. You would suddenly get better and active and then suddenly go sick and depressed. This was our last memories with each other:

That day was a Saturday: You suddenly jumped on my bed licking my face. I was so happy because I thought you were all better suddenly. I thought the medicine had worked. You and Pudding were playfully fighting for the first time in months. Mum and I was so happy that we took you to the doggie park because we knew you loved it. Once in the morning and we took you again that night. We didn't understand why you had peed yourself after a nice bath. We thought we had bathed you too soon after the doggie park and blamed each other for it as we always did when you became sick. Little did we know it was a sign that you were ready for a journey to the afterlife.

Sunday: Again we took you for a walk. Still active we thought you had finally overcome your problems. We gave you lots of hugs and lots of kisses. You looked like a really big white fluffy bear just like any Aust Champ Samoyed. Although we never showed you, you were always our champion and we always talked about the imaginary prizes you would get if you did enter a dog show. We were really proud of you. Sadly, you started getting a little inactive that day when we took you to the dog park. You just sat there looking at Pudding play and putting on your big smiley face. I hugged you so many times in the park that the other doggie people walked past wondering why you were just sitting there. They were sad as I am when they found that that you were sick for the past few months. It was a beautiful and breezy afternoon just before sunset. We got you to slowly walk with us and we were admiring your beautiful coat as the breeze swept past. Mum said you looked like an angel and indeed you did. But little did we know you were about to become one.

Monday October 13th: Mum came home that night, you were hiding outside leaning on the walls and sitting on your pee. She slowly heaved your big body and set a nice bed for you. We tried feeding you but you didn't eat. Mum immediately told my brother to get some syrup from woollies. Inside she knew it was going to be hard to make it through that night. You really enjoy those sweets. It was the only thing you would drink but we only gave you two spoon full as we knew it was very very bad for you. We tried feeding you boiled drumsticks with rice, hoping that the syrup had increased your appetite. But you didn't eat. Mum then fed some medicine so you could sleep well through the night. Usually it worked very effectively, about half an hour you would go to bed. But there was one person you didn't see. It was me. One hour passed and you were still hanging on. Mum came out and told you to sleep. I finally came home to see you but mum told me not to bother you sleeping as you had a tough day. I struggled to sleep myself without seeing you. I waited for one and a half hours and finally could not help myself. I softly called your name but you didn't respond. So I went up and to stroke your head to find it solid hard. I touched inside your blanket and you were still warm. You had only just left us. I screamed and cried and woke everyone up. I tried to push you to wake up but you slept there, so peacefully.

Til this day I cannot forgive myself for not coming home early that night. Pudding had a hard time without you, so we quickly had to get another companion for her. Barney was lovely but inside me, he was not you. It took me a while to accept that you were not there. But everything's good now. I love Barney just as much as I love you. If you knew Barney, you'd love him too. Ben, you did not get to celebrate your 1st birthday and although we really only had you for 9 months, it felt like I knew you for a long long time.

May you rest in peace.

Thanks for reading...

[carlibud]

Hugs to you

He knew you loved him just remember that

[3shepherds]

Poor baby

Rest in peace sweet puppy Ben

[ILuvAmstaffs]

It sounds like Ben was much loved part of your family & I am sure he knew that.

RIP beautiful boy.

[pip1981]

Poor Ben

I'm sorry you had to go through that ordeal with him, you did the best you could...

[Beatrice]

I am so very sorry for your loss, Spirrall - it hurts so very much I know. And I also know how desperately one keeps looking for those little signs that seem to indicate that things are getting better and then they get worse again.

But I am sure Ben heard you coming home that night and when he did he knew you were there and with him - that's when he could let go. I am sure he felt very loved!

RIP, beautiful Ben.

[misha&milo]

R.I.P Ben

[teekay]

RIP Ben,

His life may have been short but he would have felt loved.

So sorry he was taken too soon