Ideas For Ways To Bond More With My Dog

[BCPuppy]

Love reading this, I too was a little miffed that Marlin didnt like cuddles, but pleased she is independant, she amuses herself easily and doesnt fret when we are out. She does follow me around lots, yeah the toilet and the shower, only sleeps on the bed if the OH is not there, I think he fidgets too much for her , makes a dash for the end of the bed as soon as he gets up .

The only time she lets me make a fuss of her is first thing in the morning when she is still half asleep, then I get lots of licks and am allowed to scratch her heaps. She always greets us enthusiastically and gets a belly rub, she too is not one for playing fetch, I can throw a few times and then its like - bored with that - and wanders off elsewhere, but loves tug games especially with my thongs. She loves the beach too and we have a great time there, I have accepted that she is just not a girl for hugs, and is just happy to be with me, actually when I think of it I get more cuddles swimming than anywhere else, thats just cos I am the best place to have a rest

I guess it is a case of accepting each have their own personality, just like two legged kids, and loving them just the same.

[conztruct]

Hi Fran,

Hope you're good and not worrying too much about this. All dogs are different - some like to hang around and others are very independent - it's got nothing to do with how much they love you......I have no qualification to say this but I'd say if Luuka hadn't bonded with you already, you'd eventually be getting growls and other warnings.

My dogs all have varying degrees of independence - B loves to be around me all the time and get into everything I'm doing, whereas Cynna couldn't care less and would rather go wandering around the yard on her own. When I used to have Simba - he'd have it all down to a fine art - looking at me lovingly with the tail wagging as I let him out of the gate and then headbut me in the knee or push me over as he ran past to go and try eat grass at the other end of the yard ignoring me completely.

I guess I'm trying to say don't worry about it, Luuka does love you - it's probably just her individual personality, her comfort with the surroundings and her relationship with you. I think the fact she's excited to see you when you get home is enough evidence to support that. If she really didn't care she wouldn't even bother with that.....

When's the next beer night at the Harley Club?

[kiwioz]

You've had heaps of good responses already, and I'm glad you're feeling better about this But just to add another story, Cal is exactly the same. He's very aloof and not particularly people oriented. He does get excited when I get home, like you said, but after that he's much happier out on his own in the yard. Not a fan of cuddles, snuggles, pats, though like Luuka he loves tummy rubs! He's got slightly more affectionate as he's got older, but all in all he's very independent.

Which is why, though I love Cal dearly, I've really enjoyed having Finn as he is the complete opposite, very snuggly affectionate and we have a very close bond. It has been nice to experience that for a change, though both personality types have their pros and cons, as others have mentioned!

Having said all that, I definitely have still bonded with Cal, and he has his own ways of letting me know he loves me Which I'm sure you'll recognise in Luuka more and more as you get to know her

[FranVT]

Hi Fran,

Hope you're good and not worrying too much about this. All dogs are different - some like to hang around and others are very independent - it's got nothing to do with how much they love you......I have no qualification to say this but I'd say if Luuka hadn't bonded with you already, you'd eventually be getting growls and other warnings.

My dogs all have varying degrees of independence - B loves to be around me all the time and get into everything I'm doing, whereas Cynna couldn't care less and would rather go wandering around the yard on her own. When I used to have Simba - he'd have it all down to a fine art - looking at me lovingly with the tail wagging as I let him out of the gate and then headbut me in the knee or push me over as he ran past to go and try eat grass at the other end of the yard ignoring me completely.

I guess I'm trying to say don't worry about it, Luuka does love you - it's probably just her individual personality, her comfort with the surroundings and her relationship with you. I think the fact she's excited to see you when you get home is enough evidence to support that. If she really didn't care she wouldn't even bother with that.....

When's the next beer night at the Harley Club? :D

She sure does go mental when I get home She's pretty cute, she does those crazy jump-up-spin-around things

It's every Friday night! You just let me know when you want to go again :D We could go this Friday if you want!

Edited April 8, 2010 by FranCQ

[conztruct]

She sure does go mental when I get home She's pretty cute, she does those crazy jump-up-spin-around things

It's every Friday night! You just let me know when you want to go again :D We could go this Friday if you want!

Sweet as!!! I'm free tomorrow night - well after I've evicted a delinquint housemate at 5pm :D How about 6.30ish by the time I've fed the dogs and stuff.

Yeah - see, you're better off than me - when I get home B is happy to see me - Cynna is usually laying down sleeping and I'm lucky if I get an ear flick.....LOL

[Red Fox]

I can't help Fran but I know how you feel.

As a kid I had a kelpie x, she was so smart and hyper and affectionate ALL the time that I guess I just took it for granted that all dogs were like that.

After her I didn't have a dog for 10 years - and then along came Kei in 2008. He has never been overly affectionate, nor energetic. In many ways he is such an easy dog to live with, and when I think about it he is everything that I *thought* I wanted in a dog.

The part that really gets to me with him is that he is such a low drive laid back dog. Most people cant understand why that's a problem. I mean how can it be bad to have a dog that is content to lay around all day and doesn't bug you for attention? But I am a person that is go,go,go all the time. I want a dog that will want to get out there and run around with me. Who is willing to throw himself into a training session rather than lay around all day. I do try and appreciate the good points but it's hard not to feel like there is something lacking there some days...

I do have a bond with him though and he hates to be away from me but he is definitely not one of those dogs that want to be on-top of you all the time. He'd rather do his own thing. I dont mind that part so much but it does make me treasure the nights where I wake up to find him on the bed and cuddled right up to me.

I guess we just need to learn to appreciate our dogs for who they are without comparing them to anyone else

[Dogsfevr]

They offer thing is i think people confuse what bonding actually is,

Bonded doesnt mean cuddles i.

From what you have said your dog respects you.enjoys your company & is pleasant to be around.

If you looked at all the things he does without cuddles you have a great dog who has bonded to you .

I have owned many dogs of one breed & all where an individual,if i compared each one i would be very disappointed but its the breed that i love & each one has brought something different to appreciate .I dont want a clone .

I think quite simply like many people you have fallen into the trap of expecting to get what you had & havent BUT from all your posts you seem to have realised you have a great dog that at this stage that isnt smoochy but a joy to own

You have a new dog & a new adventure & by the end of the year you most likley have a giggle at why you posted this

[Marion 01]

Hi Fran, I know exactly where you are coming from. Years ago when I got my first Tibetan Terrier, I had read all about them and couldn't wait to get him

home. He was nothing like the book said, and was extremely aloof, never played and couldn't care if we were there or not. I was so disappointed I cried

a lot thinking that I would never ever get another one, but a year later I did get another TT and this one was the exact opposite of the first one and so

I just came to the conclusion that each dog is different and we had to accept the first boy & love him for what he was. We started showing the aloof boy & he absolutely loved showing and the fact that nothing fazed him made him unflappable in the showring. The second boy was an absolute delight, but did not like

being shown. Shows just how different two dogs of the same breed can be, personality wise.

Hope this helps put your mind at rest.

Marion01

[FranVT]

They offer thing is i think people confuse what bonding actually is,

Bonded doesnt mean cuddles i.

From what you have said your dog respects you.enjoys your company & is pleasant to be around.

If you looked at all the things he does without cuddles you have a great dog who has bonded to you .

I have owned many dogs of one breed & all where an individual,if i compared each one i would be very disappointed but its the breed that i love & each one has brought something different to appreciate .I dont want a clone .

I think quite simply like many people you have fallen into the trap of expecting to get what you had & havent BUT from all your posts you seem to have realised you have a great dog that at this stage that isnt smoochy but a joy to own

You have a new dog & a new adventure & by the end of the year you most likley have a giggle at why you posted this

Yep to all! In fact I already feel a little silly

Thanks Marion01, that does help, it's great to hear I'm not the only one!

[wuffles]

I have two different types here, our older rescue is independent, he picks a room to lie in and pretty much stays there all night unless food is present I'm used to it and love it that he's so "easy"! He loves pats but isn't big on cuddles. We love him.

Our 4 month old puppy is a velcro dog and although it's cute, sometimes it kind of annoys me! I'm always tripping over here and can't get her out of the bathroom when I'm trying to go

[corvus]

If it makes you feel any better, Kivi Tarro was just like that until he was about 8 months old, and it wasn't until he was over a year old that he started to act glad to see us when we went to pick him up from my parents' place after leaving him there for holidays. I remember one time I took him and Erik to work when Erik was still a baby. I left Kivi in the yard to get something for Erik and while I was gone Kivi tried to find me and I wasn't in the office where he thought I was. He was running all over the place getting more and more frantic until I came out and called him. He was so relieved he barked joyously and came galloping up to me so fast he actually nearly fell over. That's the kind of thing Erik does all the time and always has, but Kivi is not the type for that kind of thing and I don't think he ever would have in the first year of his life. I often say he would go home with anyone, and I think it's good that he's like that because I never worry about him missing me when I'm away, but over time he became just that little bit more fond of us than anyone else. It took a long time, though. He still gets depressed when we take him home from my parents' house (he loves busy households with lots of animals and people, it seems), but these days he's at least excited enough to bark when we go to pick him up.

[Pete.the.dog]

Fran I'm so glad you posted this topic because I often feel the same way with Pete, and it's reassuring to here so many great stories!

I do often get jealous when I read about peoples dogs lying at their feet while they are at the computer, but it's good to hear I'm not the only one with a super affectionate dog!

Edited April 8, 2010 by Pete.the.dog

[Danois]

I echo what LukeW said - use NILIF and make your attention something of value to her.

We have been doing a lot of clicker training (part of some dane challenges the dane thread is doing) and I have found that has really helped with us.

[gila]

My boy is the same! He is very independent and will usually go and lie by himself in the hallway or by the front door instead of staying in the same room as me. But I agree with what showdog said. Even though Spence isn't the most affectionate dog, he respects me.

And I think when you have a dog that is independent it makes their little displays of affection even more special. When Spence comes to sit by me and lean on me, or when he gives my hand a little lick, or when he looks up and touches my hand with his nose when we're walking, it's really special and I appreciate it more than I think I would if he was super affectionate and all over me all the time.

[Dogsfevr]

And I think when you have a dog that is independent it makes their little displays of affection even more special.

My old boy here is so special to me BUT he isnt cuddly BUT he is always the first dog there when feeling off or just tired.

He will come up with his nose & say Hey im here for you & then wonder off which i just adore.

I would say he is more clicked on to human feelings than my cuddly guys .

I guess i am lucky to have a number of dogs who offer all aspects but my special guy is one in a million.

Fran dont feel silly ,your post has given you a different appreciation to your dog that at first you may not have seen .

[Bubitty]

Dont feel bad Fran. I spent two years of my life seeking affection from Bubby until I realised that he LOVES his Momma best but he's just not a cuddly dog.

He always picks up on how I feel and is always there when I have a hangover or when I am sick, cross or grumpy but he's just happy to sit by himself and chill when I am in good spirits. He's never been one to cuddle and I really feel that he enjoys his 10 hours away from us.

Bitty on the other hand loves everyone and everything but in some ways it makes it less special since she will kiss and cuddle me but would also cuddle up to the bloke down the road 10 mins later! She is such a floozy!

[FranVT]

This thread really has shown me wwhat a fantastic little girl I have, I took a new joy in playing with her this afternoon in the yard after our walk, she is so clever it's ridiculous. I'm using the 'watch' command to get her to focus on the task and not the food, but wow she really is quite a big fan of food

[huski]

She sounds like an angel!

The thing that I think made it harder to bond with Daisy was that she was a real challenge and sometimes was unpleasant to be around

Having a dog who pushes you and pushes you constantly and doesn't want to be cuddly or give you much affection can be a real challenge!

She quite a cuddly girl now though and we are over those issues that we had when she was going through that hyper puppy/adolescent period (thank God). Now I know how to manage it better I am more confident I could work better with a dog whose like that.

[FranVT]

Well I had the other end of the spectrum with Atlas, he was super affectionate but not at all well behaved And the blood, sweat and tears (all literally, well maybe not blood no wait I fell over because he lunged at a dog that was 10m away once and skinned my knee!) that I put into that dog to make him into the great, easygoing, obedient, friendly dog he is today will stand me in good stead for when / if I get another ... difficult ... breed

[shells]

Dont feel sad. I have male and female littermates and my female was the same then at about 9 months old she wanted in on the action (My boy is a real smoocher) and now I sometimes feel smothered by their love - honestly - there are days where it feels like too much and I cant turn without tripping over one or have their sad eyes looking at me for something.