Ideas For Ways To Bond More With My Dog

[MrsD]

I think you may be experiencing "Spitz temperament" at work. They aren't as effusive as some dogs.. that doesn't mean they are less loyal or loving.. they're just not as extroverted in showing it. They are simply there.

Bitches can be a bit more aloof than dogs in some breeds too.

I found adding a Whippet after poodles that its a bit the same. Hounds are different. Poodles don't just want to be with you, they want to go everywhere you go. Howie's happy to take himself out for a sunbake or to bed when he's tired. The poodles are always in the same room I am.

Doesn't mean Howie won't scream like a big girl if I dare show another dog though.

She is what she is Fran. Enjoy the fact that she's happy to do her own thing too - does make life easier in some ways.

I have to agree completely with Poodlefan, if you wanted a person oriented dog you would probably have been better off getting a working breed or something like a poodle or one of the other breeds that have been bred specifically to be "companions". Not that that is much help to you now, but it may help in the future if you ever get another dog.

She will probably get more attatched to you as she gets older, don't forget atm she is still only a puppy & most puppies are happy to "share their love around" & are often not strongly bonded to a particular person until they are a bit older.

In regards to her playing with you etc, I may not be popular here but I wouldn't be letting her have play time with other people's dogs, you said "we went to the beach the other day and god we had a blast", so how much playing did she actually do with you one on one? I'm guessing very little, it sounds like she had a fantastic time playing with the other dogs! My dogs will play together in the back yard now they are older, but if I went to the back door & called any one of them, they would be at the backdoor ready to come inside & play or be with me before you could blink & they have absolutely no interest in playing with other dogs. Socializing does not mean that the dogs have to play together.

It sounds like she is only motivated by the toy for a short while, do as someone else suggested & stop playing before she gets tired of it & leave her wanting more. If she is motivated by food try playing the food chase game & she will start looking to you for fun. The other thing you can do is start crating for a short time each day & when she is let out she may start to seek more time with you if you make it interesting ie crate her away from you for an hour & then let her out & take her outside & play a game with her then, rather than just when she's been hanging around the house.

I have found bitches to be a little more aloof than dogs certainly in the dogs I have owned, but most of all it comes down to personality I think. Just remember that not every dog we own will be our "heart dog" (to use a phrase which I don't particularly like but have no better), doesn't mean that we don't love them & they don't love us though.

[Bailey9]

Hey Fran, I've had 5 dogs over my lifetime and all have been different in their levels of "clingyness". Bailey my Goldy is quite independent, she loves to be near us but happy with her own space on the floor where she can see us. Mia my Aussie on the other hand is a real snuggle bunny and loves nothing more than spooning in bed or if we are in the lounge she needs to be resting on our feet

Hope some of the tips given help you create more of a 'bond' with her

[Loving my Oldies]

What a gorgeous girl, Fran. My immediate thoughts even when I read the title were, as Deelee puts it, the "Atlas Factor".

I have six dogs here at the moment: the three I've had for many years, the two oldies I rescued (and will keep) in January and Kisho a rescue dog.

When I go down into the back yard, guess who are with me? Yep the three newies. My other dogs are in the house wherever and although they might come and check from time to time, they don't wander around after me.

Luuka looks pretty damn happy and contented to me and although I understand how you feel, you can pat yourself on the back for having a happy, confident and well adjusted dog.

As to the games on the beach: that sounds absolutely wonderful and how lovely for you both to have that to look forward to.

Maybe a little further down the track when you are more settled, you could consider a playmate for Luuka.

[FranVT]

Yep, I definitely knew she would be more laid back, that was a huge plus! I think I just had a different idea of how she would be

She's certainly not disobedient! She's just a tad indifferent I see what you mean about it being rewarding to do her own thing though.

At this stage I just cannot imagine leaving her with my family. I wouldn't do anything like that before talking to Luuka's breeder either.

I didn't know I could do agility at all! That's great, I'm going to find out when the agility classes are run and go along for sure.

She has a great personality I think it's my thinking that needs to change.

[Greytmate]

There is a lot to appreciate about a laid-back dog.

One advantage is that if you go on a long trip, she is the sort of dog that could stay with your family and not fret for you.

[FranVT]

I think you may be experiencing "Spitz temperament" at work. They aren't as effusive as some dogs.. that doesn't mean they are less loyal or loving.. they're just not as extroverted in showing it. They are simply there.

Bitches can be a bit more aloof than dogs in some breeds too.

I found adding a Whippet after poodles that its a bit the same. Hounds are different. Poodles don't just want to be with you, they want to go everywhere you go. Howie's happy to take himself out for a sunbake or to bed when he's tired. The poodles are always in the same room I am.

Doesn't mean Howie won't scream like a big girl if I dare show another dog though. :D

She is what she is Fran. Enjoy the fact that she's happy to do her own thing too - does make life easier in some ways.

I have to agree completely with Poodlefan, if you wanted a person oriented dog you would probably have been better off getting a working breed or something like a poodle or one of the other breeds that have been bred specifically to be "companions". Not that that is much help to you now, but it may help in the future if you ever get another dog.

She will probably get more attatched to you as she gets older, don't forget atm she is still only a puppy & most puppies are happy to "share their love around" & are often not strongly bonded to a particular person until they are a bit older.

In regards to her playing with you etc, I may not be popular here but I wouldn't be letting her have play time with other people's dogs, you said "we went to the beach the other day and god we had a blast", so how much playing did she actually do with you one on one? I'm guessing very little, it sounds like she had a fantastic time playing with the other dogs! My dogs will play together in the back yard now they are older, but if I went to the back door & called any one of them, they would be at the backdoor ready to come inside & play or be with me before you could blink & they have absolutely no interest in playing with other dogs. Socializing does not mean that the dogs have to play together.

It sounds like she is only motivated by the toy for a short while, do as someone else suggested & stop playing before she gets tired of it & leave her wanting more. If she is motivated by food try playing the food chase game & she will start looking to you for fun. The other thing you can do is start crating for a short time each day & when she is let out she may start to seek more time with you if you make it interesting ie crate her away from you for an hour & then let her out & take her outside & play a game with her then, rather than just when she's been hanging around the house.

I have found bitches to be a little more aloof than dogs certainly in the dogs I have owned, but most of all it comes down to personality I think. Just remember that not every dog we own will be our "heart dog" (to use a phrase which I don't particularly like but have no better), doesn't mean that we don't love them & they don't love us though.

Wow that is really good advice too, I absolutely never thought of the beach play like that, she and I did spend a fair bit of time away from the others just running around in the surf, rolling in the sand (her, not me ) throwing toys without the other dogs etc but you are probably right, she would have seen that as 'fun day with other dogs' not with me.

What a gorgeous girl, Fran. My immediate thoughts even when I read the title were, as Deelee puts it, the "Atlas Factor".

I have six dogs here at the moment: the three I've had for many years, the two oldies I rescued (and will keep) in January and Kisho a rescue dog.

When I go down into the back yard, guess who are with me? Yep the three newies. My other dogs are in the house wherever and although they might come and check from time to time, they don't wander around after me.

Luuka looks pretty damn happy and contented to me and although I understand how you feel, you can pat yourself on the back for having a happy, confident and well adjusted dog.

As to the games on the beach: that sounds absolutely wonderful and how lovely for you both to have that to look forward to.

Maybe a little further down the track when you are more settled, you could consider a playmate for Luuka.

I really think you're right on that, Luuka and Atlas are so different and I knew they would be but I wasn't prepared for how it would make me FEEL I suppose.

It's not Luuka's fault, she's lovely, obedient, friendly, happy and contented like you said :p I just need to adjust my thinking.

I would definitely consider a playmate for her, when I'm settled in my own place and when any issues (if any come up) with Luuka are settled and basically when I feel ready!

[Jumabaar]

Also no weavers at agility until 18mths! They are worse than jumps.

I think alot of the female lappies are very independant until about 9mths. Demi is only just starting to cuddle and I have to say she cuddles me the least!! Terranik, my grandparents, my mum have a

all had better cuddles than I have but she is darting to come round!!

We are however very bonded when i take her out. I have played lots of chase me games and clicker training to stay close. She loves hanging out now coz it means food. I have also only just got demi interested in fetch- she would try before but I just don't think she had the mental maturity to really play.

Good luck. I think in a few months time you will see a big change in her!

[MrsD]

Wow that is really good advice too, I absolutely never thought of the beach play like that, she and I did spend a fair bit of time away from the others just running around in the surf, rolling in the sand (her, not me ) throwing toys without the other dogs etc but you are probably right, she would have seen that as 'fun day with other dogs' not with me.

I am always astounded at how many people take their puppies to obedience classes & before & after each class let them run around & play madly with lots of other dogs. Then they wonder why their dog is leaping around at the end of their lead going crazy trying to get to the other dogs in the middle of class :rofl: .

I also agree with the working for things idea, that can build alot of respect & positive energy between you & your dog & will help with the bonding as well. All good things should come through you.

[FranVT]

Oh yes I should add that Luuka is OBSESSED with food! Hahaha I can get her to do anything if there's food involved! I taught her rollover last night, I was in stitches she would glue her nose to the treat and just roll back and forth it was hilarious!

Luuka's breeder has been amazing to me, she has been so reassuring but I don't like to bother her too much! She has given me the most fantastic advice, even in my breakup! I'm going to give her a call tonight if she has a spare moment, I swear she is one of the busiest people I know.

Oh and for whoever mentioned that the breakup might be making me more sensitive I think you're right, even though I'm feeling pretty good about things at the moment I probably am still a bit 'emo' over it

I can't thank you all enough for the great, honest advice.

[casowner]

Jake is nearly 3 and has only just started liking attention, even as a baby puppy he wasn't interested in us. I didn't think he cared if we were there or not but if we go away even for one night (with my mum staying at the house) he will take off onto our other property. The other week we got home at 12pm and he was gone, spent over an hour searching for him on the other property and up and down the roads with no luck. We got home and there he was on his bed with muddy paws panting, he had obviously seen us driving in the paddock and made a bee line home

My keeshond would get excited to see me then go off to do her own thing but my gsd heart boy (RIP Chieftan) and my little pom cross girl were/are my constant companions.

I do think breed has a lot to do with it and all animals have their own personalities. You may find that as Luuka matures her affection to you will increase

[FranVT]

Wow that is really good advice too, I absolutely never thought of the beach play like that, she and I did spend a fair bit of time away from the others just running around in the surf, rolling in the sand (her, not me ) throwing toys without the other dogs etc but you are probably right, she would have seen that as 'fun day with other dogs' not with me.

I am always astounded at how many people take their puppies to obedience classes & before & after each class let them run around & play madly with lots of other dogs. Then they wonder why their dog is leaping around at the end of their lead going crazy trying to get to the other dogs in the middle of class :rofl: .

I also agree with the working for things idea, that can build alot of respect & positive energy between you & your dog & will help with the bonding as well. All good things should come through you.

Agreed, that's another thing that annoyed me about puppy preschool, everyone else's dogs were jumping all over each other and running around. Luuka was interested in the other dogs but would lie on the ground next to me or sit in front of me. She was ridiculously well behaved. I was glad some of the people were coming to puppy preschool for their own sake as well - one lady said to her 2 very rowdy children "Go over there and give that tied up dog a big hug, he looks sad" and off the kids toddled, luckily the owner (one of the instructors) said "Please don't approach my dog, she can be a right bitch in both senses of the word when I'm not around, and I'll explain about approaching tied up dogs later". This was right before the first class. Sorry a bit offtopic :p

[Dogsfevr]

My first advice stop trying so hard,the dog will be reading your body language which is disappointment,her response why should i bother.

I agree though spitz breeds are known for the particular nature & maybe you thought you would get a fluffy teddy bear but that isnt the spitz way.You cant change a breed to be something it isnt meant too but you can enjoy what each dog brings to the plate & foster those areas.

Many dogs can be turned off by people trying to hard instead of just allowing time to take its course.

Affection can vary greatly as does what each dog likes.

From a human point of view i am not a touchy/feely type of person i dont feel comfy around people who always want to hug & be close. other people love this kind of affection & thrive.

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

[poodlefan]

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

I agree. I don't see depriving a dog of all other enjoyment as an acceptable price for more attention to me. It's the Stockholm Syndrome approach and its one I'm no fan of.

[FranVT]

My first advice stop trying so hard,the dog will be reading your body language which is disappointment,her response why should i bother.

I agree though spitz breeds are known for the particular nature & maybe you thought you would get a fluffy teddy bear but that isnt the spitz way.You cant change a breed to be something it isnt meant too but you can enjoy what each dog brings to the plate & foster those areas.

Many dogs can be turned off by people trying to hard instead of just allowing time to take its course.

Affection can vary greatly as does what each dog likes.

From a human point of view i am not a touchy/feely type of person i dont feel comfy around people who always want to hug & be close. other people love this kind of affection & thrive.

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

Yep, I would never want to change her, this is about me not about her I feel. You're totally right, I need to enjoy the best aspects of her - and she has SO many great aspects! The "bad" aspects aren't even bad, she's well behaved, friendly, totally accepting of all dogs and people, and she CAN be snuggly sometimes I just think it's not a constant thing for her and that is fine.

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

I agree. I don't see depriving a dog of all other enjoyment as an acceptable price for more attention to me. It's the Stockholm Syndrome approach and its one I'm no fan of.

Good point. I don't think I'd have it in me to pass up an opportunity to see her joyfully running around having a great time at the beach or park or riverbank, even if she is more stoked on the other dogs sometimes

[huski]

I think you may be experiencing "Spitz temperament" at work. They aren't as effusive as some dogs.. that doesn't mean they are less loyal or loving.. they're just not as extroverted in showing it. They are simply there.

Bitches can be a bit more aloof than dogs in some breeds too.

I found adding a Whippet after poodles that its a bit the same. Hounds are different. Poodles don't just want to be with you, they want to go everywhere you go. Howie's happy to take himself out for a sunbake or to bed when he's tired. The poodles are always in the same room I am.

Doesn't mean Howie won't scream like a big girl if I dare show another dog though. :p

She is what she is Fran. Enjoy the fact that she's happy to do her own thing too - does make life easier in some ways.

I agree. I own a spitz and a hound, but I'm not a fan of clingy dogs and I do find it odd when I meet a dog who falls over itself to get a pat or wants cuddles with its owner all the time

Daisy was an exceptionally hard dog to bond with as a puppy. She was very independent and never wanted to be picked up and cuddled. I seriously think she was at least 12 months of age before she decided she wanted to have cuddles or I could pick her up without her wriggling and wanting to get away.

The right training made a huge difference with her, she is now pretty much always keen to work and play with me. She's still not one of those dogs who is really praise/pat driven and she will have cuddles but on her terms only.

Micha is very laid back and calm but he does enjoy being with us and likes to be near us. He LOVES ear rubs but that's the extent of the cuddles he wants to receive

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

I agree. I don't see depriving a dog of all other enjoyment as an acceptable price for more attention to me. It's the Stockholm Syndrome approach and its one I'm no fan of.

I agree to a point but if I have my dog out somewhere like that where they are creating their own fun, I like to call them over to me and play a game with them as well as letting them run around. It would be impossible for me to deprive Daisy of all things she finds enjoying, all she has to do is put her nose to the ground and she's found one of the most enjoyable things she can do

[WoofnHoof]

Yeah I'm inclined to think it's a spitz thing too my sibe is exactly the same, he's happy to see me when I get home but happy to go back to his 'spot' on the couch as soon as the greeting is done. The only time he gets really clingy is when there is a storm and he tries to sit in my lap which isn't really ideal He's improving in that respect though. Obedience is hard work since he is only mildly food motivated and couldn't care less about toys so at least you have that going for you with your little girl

I tend not to worry too much about whether my animals are 'bonded' to me, although I'm more used to horses who are generally pretty disinterested in their human unless it's dinnertime As long as they are happy and healthy that's what matters :p

[FranVT]

^^ THAT I like a lot huski! Calling them over and having fun with them surely would also benefit recall as well.

[MrsD]

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

I agree. I don't see depriving a dog of all other enjoyment as an acceptable price for more attention to me. It's the Stockholm Syndrome approach and its one I'm no fan of.

That's interesting, I don't remember typing that I deprive my dogs of all other enjoyment, but hey ...

[Kitt]

Hi Fran,

I think you have shown a lot of great insight into the issue. You seem to be heading down the track of thinking that the issue / problem is your interpretation of what's happening. There are at least two ways of interpreting what's happening. You seem to have started off thinking "She doesn't like me; she wants to do other stuff rather than play with me." A more accurate (and much nicer!) interpretation could be: "She feels very secure with me and in this environment, so she doesn't need constant reassurance or attention. She knows that I'll be here when she needs me. This means that I am a good owner!" (Please note: I'm not saying that super-cuddly dogs do NOT feel secure.)

Hope you start to feel better about the situation soon.

Kitt.

[poodlefan]

As for the beach side well it wouldnt worry me if a dog was enjoying being a dog after all it is a dog

I agree. I don't see depriving a dog of all other enjoyment as an acceptable price for more attention to me. It's the Stockholm Syndrome approach and its one I'm no fan of.

That's interesting, I don't remember typing that I deprive my dogs of all other enjoyment, but hey ...

My comment wasn't directed at you Mrs D.. and if you don't deprive your dogs of all stimultation not derived from you (and this does happen) then my comment is not relevant to your practices anyway!

And for what it's worth I agree that there's a balance to be struck between letting your dog run free with others and regaining its attention when training. A very highly aroused dog will maintain its adrenalin levels for hours or days.. not a state you want a dog in for effective training.