Finding It Hard To Find The "one" :cry:

[julesluvscavs]

Sorry to hear that Italmum.. *gentle hugs*

We met a lovely couple (not sure if they have kids or not) last weekend at a market. They started talking to us because they saw Joey and Renae. They said they had waited for a long time to get theirs (they never mentioned why?). We asked where did you get her from? and they said would you believe the pound ! She wasn't a puppy of course, but she was dumped as a result of a divorce

They said it must of been fate that brought them all to all together!

It just goes to show when you least expect it, sometimes it just happens ! (same with us with ours.. as I mentioned before about how we got Joey

, then his mum Renae)

Never give up ! When the time is right, and you put your heart into it, it will happen ;)

Did you say you had stairs earlier ?? just becareful if you have, (as you would be of course!) Just that we met a young Cavalier last year that's owner had bought a house with concrete steps out the back, and the young Cav had fallen down them accidently, and had to have one of it's legs amputated, now it only has 3 legs It's doing ok tho

There are some breeders like our Cav's, that will also even come and do homechecks before they will commit to you having one of their puppies.

ps...Have you rang up any Cavalier rescue groups yet? The Cavalier sub forum thread on Dol might be able to help you also? there are breeders in there who do rescue as well ;)

Edited March 31, 2010 by JulesLuvsCavs

[mumof3]

Oh its good to see parents of young kids giving their children the same sort of upbringing I had back in the 80's/early 90's...before kids had all the rights and made all the decisions

We had a dog and a cat, we had a sandpit (which was uncovered and we frequently dug up cat poo! lol) we ate mud pies made out of the sand from the sandpit the cat used as a toilet and that didnt kill one of us. We had a huge trampoline without safety mats or a fence around the end...we fell off, and we learned not to try and do back flips off it again...we settled for front flips instead, the unfenced trampoline also didnt kill any of us and any sort of cement is supposed to be used to make chalk drawings or a hopscotch course

Some kids these days must get so bored

Wow goldengirl - are you one of my brothers or my sister in disguise. We had that trampoline, too, and placed on a slope. We had a great time. Worst thing about it was the static electricity shock you got from touching the frame after jumping on it for a while. It was an old olmpic sized tramp we got from a scout hall. We loved it. I tied my horse to it - imagine trying to do that with one of those big enclosed ones!

I read an article that said that the kids who are raised in cotton wool grow up not very good at risk assessment. We learnt risk assessment as a kid. If there were clouds in the sky you didn't go climbing up the open end of the neighbourhood stormwater pipe....

S

[italmum]

Sorry to hear that Italmum.. *gentle hugs*

We met a lovely couple (not sure if they have kids or not) last weekend at a market. They started talking to us because they saw Joey and Renae. They said they had waited for a long time to get theirs (they never mentioned why?). We asked where did you get her from? and they said would you believe the pound ! She wasn't a puppy of course, but she was dumped as a result of a divorce

They said it must of been fate that brought them all to all together! ;)

It just goes to show when you least expect it, sometimes it just happens ! (same with us with ours.. as I mentioned before about how we got Joey

, then his mum Renae)

Never give up ! When the time is right, and you put your heart into it, it will happen

Did you say you had stairs earlier ?? just becareful if you have, (as you would be of course!) Just that we met a young Cavalier last year that's owner had bought a house with concrete steps out the back, and the young Cav had fallen down them accidently, and had to have one of it's legs amputated, now it only has 3 legs It's doing ok tho ;)

There are some breeders like our Cav's, that will also even come and do homechecks before they will commit to you having one of their puppies.

ps...Have you rang up any Cavalier rescue groups yet? The Cavalier sub forum thread on Dol might be able to help you also? there are breeders in there who do rescue as well

I have rung the cavalier rescue group, the lady was so helpful, and said if she had any pups she would have no problem giving me one

I have no stairs at my house just a step (which leads to a grass area)

Well I will just wait, I have left my number with a few people, and who knows when the phone will ring...otherwise i will just keep on this website and see if someone finds me

[mumof3]

well. rejected once again.

I am really dissapointed, I spoke to someone who had a dog, now after speaking to her "friend with a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old" she thinks my kids arent ready.

and thats the whole issue i have had - everyone bundling me into the same basket as everyone else.. I had a lil sob...Do people not know the heartache that they are putting me through atm.

Maybe just not meant to be.

thanks everyone..this seems to be pointless.

I'm sorry to hear that italmum. It is hard when you have your heart set on something for the kids, to have to wait and wait and wait...

And it's hard to have people judging you according to all their bad experiences, when you know you have so much more to offer.

A couple of years ago we tried to adopt a dog through the RSPCA. I live in a remote area, and the nearest shelter is about 500km away. DH found a lovely dog in there on a visit to Townsville and tried to adopt it. RSPCA insisted that we couldn't have it unless we brought our kids in and our other dogs (at the time we had three working dogs). It just wasn't going to happen, travelling the kids to Townsvile, and the dogs just for that reason. And it was frustrating cause we are pretty experienced dog people and understand a bit of dog psychology etc and DH thought it was an ideal animal to fit in with us.

Keep trying. It'll happen.

S

[Dogsfevr]

As disappointing as it is & as many say it isnt fair to be judged because of kids ,realistically it has to happen & in all fairness to the breeders one has to send a dog out that they believe will suit.

How would the OP feel if the dog didnt turn out & they had to return it??

Just as heart breaking for all concerned .

People wait for our pups for over a year,some rush out but those that wait are happy to do so because this animal will be around for the next 12 yrs plus & a wait in comparison to selecting the wrong dog isnt a big deal.

I currently have a new pup, i waited 3 yrs for the right one & had no issues doing so because again i have to live with for many more years than the wait.

Dogs arent pulled out of hats to suit every family & if the wrong dog is sent out people will be bad mouthed for doing so & even DOLERS would be the first to jump up & down if someone sold a pup/older dog that would never work out .

Its a catch 22 but patience is a must when getting a dog & above all the right one.

When we rehome older dog all family members MUST come out if they cant/dont then dont bother .

Edited March 31, 2010 by showdog

[GoldenGirl85]

Wow goldengirl - are you one of my brothers or my sister in disguise. We had that trampoline, too, and placed on a slope. We had a great time. Worst thing about it was the static electricity shock you got from touching the frame after jumping on it for a while. It was an old olmpic sized tramp we got from a scout hall. We loved it. I tied my horse to it - imagine trying to do that with one of those big enclosed ones!

I read an article that said that the kids who are raised in cotton wool grow up not very good at risk assessment. We learnt risk assessment as a kid. If there were clouds in the sky you didn't go climbing up the open end of the neighbourhood stormwater pipe....

S

I wish, I always wanted a horse lol

I have rung the cavalier rescue group, the lady was so helpful, and said if she had any pups she would have no problem giving me one

I have no stairs at my house just a step (which leads to a grass area)

Well I will just wait, I have left my number with a few people, and who knows when the phone will ring...otherwise i will just keep on this website and see if someone finds me

I was talking to my mum and she had a lot of trouble getting a Cav because they had never had the breed before, chin up it will happen, you just need the right match

I'm sorry to hear that italmum. It is hard when you have your heart set on something for the kids, to have to wait and wait and wait...

And it's hard to have people judging you according to all their bad experiences, when you know you have so much more to offer.

A couple of years ago we tried to adopt a dog through the RSPCA. I live in a remote area, and the nearest shelter is about 500km away. DH found a lovely dog in there on a visit to Townsville and tried to adopt it. RSPCA insisted that we couldn't have it unless we brought our kids in and our other dogs (at the time we had three working dogs). It just wasn't going to happen, travelling the kids to Townsvile, and the dogs just for that reason. And it was frustrating cause we are pretty experienced dog people and understand a bit of dog psychology etc and DH thought it was an ideal animal to fit in with us.

Keep trying. It'll happen.

S

I dislike the RSPCA for several reasons but one of those is that I went down there with my dog to do a meet and greet with a dog they had, all I wanted to do was see how she would react with the bigger dog, she was an ACD cross and they were being horrible to me because I had never owned a working dog before and Im in Brissy 'so I must have no idea'. I come from a rural community, I only moved to Brissy in October, just because Ive never owned a working dog it doesnt mean that I dont know what their needs are. As it was they wouldnt even let me see her, its not as though I went running in insisting on taking the dog home...I just wanted to see her

[Monah]

HI again. that's a shame. I still think your best bet is to investigate shows, meet breeders and when you hit it off with one or two, which you probably will do, build up a relationship. Some dogs i've had I've waited over 2 years for and have been very close to all the breeders of both dogs and cats in our family. Some since the 1960s and 70s

Once people are comfortable with you and the children you will have a lovely dog before you know it.

You probably aren't doing this, but, do you come accross as a little desperate, in a hurry, want it now? This can also put some people off who consider that if you are serious, you will wait This is fair enough too.

I wish you lots of luck

[BittyMooPeeb]

Hi Italmum,

When I was rescuing and rehoming, I would often ask families with kids what their strategies were for managing kids and dogs. So perhaps you could pre-empt this sort of question by telling breeders how you plan to manage the dog/kid interaction.

You have already got some things worked out - patio and laundry for down time for the pup. You could also purchase a crate to be in the lounge and teach the kids that they are not allowed to touch the puppy when he/she is in her crate. You'll need to talk about how you will supervise interaction between the dog and kids, and how you will organise time for just you and the dog for training etc.

Good Luck.

Gail

[italmum]

HI again. that's a shame. I still think your best bet is to investigate shows, meet breeders and when you hit it off with one or two, which you probably will do, build up a relationship. Some dogs i've had I've waited over 2 years for and have been very close to all the breeders of both dogs and cats in our family. Some since the 1960s and 70s

Once people are comfortable with you and the children you will have a lovely dog before you know it.

You probably aren't doing this, but, do you come accross as a little desperate, in a hurry, want it now? This can also put some people off who consider that if you are serious, you will wait This is fair enough too.

I wish you lots of luck

I am planning on going to the easter show at KCC and meet a few people..if they arent to busy not talk to me lol, I am not in a hurry..and i have spoken to breeders and said that i am happy to wait..and have screening done with my family at my house BUT I dont seem to even get to this point Because the "kids" keep coming up grrr I realise its a touching subject for breeders BUT wouldnt you rather your dog going to a family where it will be loved and spoilt and grow up around the kids..benifical for both i think

..and with us I can say that my parenting is not just to let kids "do what the want" they have boundries and understand when not to do things.. I could just buy a puppy from a petshop..but i thought i was doing the right thing in the way i am going about it with quality breeders.

My whole point of writing this topic was to find out the best thing for me to do..but it seems i am already doing it...just not getting anywhere!

[Dogsfevr]

realise its a touching subject for breeders BUT wouldnt you rather your dog going to a family where it will be loved and spoilt and grow up around the kids..benifical for both i think

I would rather any of my dogs go to the right home,that may mean children it may not .

No family gets priority BUT we do place people who have previously owned the breed higher on the list .

The best thing is to wait.

To be honest dont preach how wonderful you think your kids are because we have all heard that ,no matter what people say kids will be kids & i would sooner here a realistic parent talk about there children & there plan where i fell that all due care will be taken & that there prepared to deal with WHAT children can do & above all what there friends could do.

We see people at shows every weekend & many with children running about feral .poking fingers in crates & no respect for what they dont own,it is very scary.

Also at the moment many breeders will be in Sydney for the royal & speciality show so just be patient .

I now it hard because people feel they are doing all things right but just think maybe there is something that is not coming across to the people at the other end that you feel you are portraying.

As mentioned by another poster you do sound desperate in your posts & this may be coming across in your converstaions without you evening realising.

We get it all the time by people who dont mean it it but what you hear you often have to make a call on.

I can pm you another breeder name by they too are in NSW for the shows & wont be back for a week or so but you can still phone there home & leave a message

[italmum]

realise its a touching subject for breeders BUT wouldnt you rather your dog going to a family where it will be loved and spoilt and grow up around the kids..benifical for both i think

I would rather any of my dogs go to the right home,that may mean children it may not .

No family gets priority BUT we do place people who have previously owned the breed higher on the list .

The best thing is to wait.

To be honest dont preach how wonderful you think your kids are because we have all heard that ,no matter what people say kids will be kids & i would sooner here a realistic parent talk about there children & there plan where i fell that all due care will be taken & that there prepared to deal with WHAT children can do & above all what there friends could do.

We see people at shows every weekend & many with children running about feral .poking fingers in crates & no respect for what they dont own,it is very scary.

Also at the moment many breeders will be in Sydney for the royal & speciality show so just be patient .

I now it hard because people feel they are doing all things right but just think maybe there is something that is not coming across to the people at the other end that you feel you are portraying.

As mentioned by another poster you do sound desperate in your posts & this may be coming across in your converstaions without you evening realising.

We get it all the time by people who dont mean it it but what you hear you often have to make a call on.

I can pm you another breeder name by they too are in NSW for the shows & wont be back for a week or so but you can still phone there home & leave a message

I find this post actually quite negative towards me..I do not come accross as desperate - all i have ever said is that people dont look past the children to even bother finding out what we are like?? And to be honest i think i am the best judge of my childrens characters, i am with them 24/7. I know exactly what type of children are the ones that poke cages etc..they are the one whose parents dont care about what they do.

From all the breeders i have spoken to, i have told them EXACTLY my plans for child/puppy interaction, even before they have mentioned it...i have even said sleeping arrangements...where i am planning to have time out...discipline for puppy, teaching guidelines for the children-"what not to do to said puppy"

I have covered everything, even told them about the property itself.

When i have called in regards to dogs, i have said i am happy to wait, have people visit us, meet the family, inspect the house, listen to their advice on what they think is best - and as i will continue to say....its pretty perplexing when you dont even get to properly talk to someone before shutting them down because of their family life.

A dog could go to an elderly person who may not in a couple of years be able to look after the dog properly, do they get the same negativity, and people who work fulltime??

if that is the case...then there really is only a limited select person the is right to own a dog.

[Greytmate]

To be honest dont preach how wonderful you think your kids are because we have all heard that ,no matter what people say kids will be kids & i would sooner here a realistic parent talk about there children & there plan where i fell that all due care will be taken & that there prepared to deal with WHAT children can do & above all what there friends could do.

I agree.

Not many parents will say their child isn't good with animals. All parents claim to teach their child manners around animals and all parents will claim that they supervise them.

Kids that love animals and want to interact with them are at more risk of being bitten than kids who are not interested in animals.

Most kids are great with animals most of the time. The dogs that I know have had a snap at kids did not snap because the child was trying to hurt it. The children were just acting like animal-loving children, and the dog interpreted an action as something that needed to be stopped.

It all depends on the dog's tolerance levels. And that takes time to ascertain. If you get a dog from a rescue, make sure it has been in foster care around little kids for at least a few weeks.

Children are inclined to cuddle dogs, and put their faces close. Children accidentally sit on tails and limbs. Not all dogs should live with children, because they won't tolerate this type of thing from them.

I don't want to hear how good little Johnnie is with dogs or how gentle he is or how much he loves them. It means absolutely nothing.

I want to know how skilled you are at picking up dogs signals of discomfort. I want to know how you will arrange the dog's bed, crate, food bowls etc. to ensure the dog can feel secure. I want to know what rules and limits you set on your children's interactions with the dog, not how much you encourage interaction.

Talk about those things, and breeders and rescuers will feel more confident that less could go wrong.

[poodlefan]

Italmum are breeders telling you they won't sell a pup to a home with kids or that they don't have pups available?

And to be honest i think i am the best judge of my childrens characters, i am with them 24/7.

Do you think that breeders feel the same way about judging the best homes for pups? If a breeder hasn't met you and you talk your kids up as being wonderful with animals, given their ages I honestly think they'll take it with a grain of salt. You may not like that but the people you are talking to have heard it all before.. and the horror stories of pups placed in the wrong homes.

I know exactly what type of children are the ones that poke cages etc..they are the one whose parents dont care about what they do

That's neither a fair nor an accurate statement. They can have very caring parents but kids are kids - low impulse control and sometimes lessons about dogs get forgotten. My dog has been grabbed and hugged at a show by a little girl raised with dogs by a very caring parent. She just forgot herself.

No child is perfect. They don't have to be holy terrors or little sadists to accidentally harm a pup. I'd recommend you talk up the supevision aspect rather than your kids characters - you might have more success. This is a marketing exercise.

Have you spoken to the puppy contact at your state CKCS club?

Edited March 31, 2010 by poodlefan

[italmum]

finally something i can tell you, to be honest i never say "my kids are so great" i just simply state "i have 3 small children" this is when i am talking to breeders mind you, every mother thinks that their kids are perfect little angels in our own minds.

I am getting knock backs just based on my honest statement on my childrens ages...puppys are usually "going" to be avail,,which as i have said. i will wait.

I dont try and be someone i am not, i am honest, i am who i am.

and if people cant ney wont get passed my children. then what am i meant to do??

[poodlefan]

finally something i can tell you, to be honest i never say "my kids are so great" i just simply state "i have 3 small children" this is when i am talking to breeders mind you, every mother thinks that their kids are perfect little angels in our own minds.

I am getting knock backs just based on my honest statement on my childrens ages...puppys are usually "going" to be avail,,which as i have said. i will wait.

I dont try and be someone i am not, i am honest, i am who i am.

and if people cant ney wont get passed my children. then what am i meant to do??

Keep looking. And ideally look for a breeder with kids so the pups will have grown up spending their first weeks around them.

You've chosen a very popular breed with long waiting lists.

Have you spoken to the CKCS club puppy person?

[italmum]

finally something i can tell you, to be honest i never say "my kids are so great" i just simply state "i have 3 small children" this is when i am talking to breeders mind you, every mother thinks that their kids are perfect little angels in our own minds.

I am getting knock backs just based on my honest statement on my childrens ages...puppys are usually "going" to be avail,,which as i have said. i will wait.

I dont try and be someone i am not, i am honest, i am who i am.

and if people cant ney wont get passed my children. then what am i meant to do??

Keep looking. And ideally look for a breeder with kids so the pups will have grown up spending their first weeks around them.

You've chosen a very popular breed with long waiting lists.

Have you spoken to the CKCS club puppy person?

I have spoken to the CKCS and all the people i have spoken to have been lovely they wish they could have a puppy/dog for me, But i really wanted to bring up this specific subject to let breeders out there know how placing someone in a particular category may not be the right thing to do.

everyone deserve the most basic thing - human descency and given a chance.

[Greytmate]

finally something i can tell you, to be honest i never say "my kids are so great" i just simply state "i have 3 small children" this is when i am talking to breeders mind you, every mother thinks that their kids are perfect little angels in our own minds.

I am getting knock backs just based on my honest statement on my childrens ages...puppys are usually "going" to be avail,,which as i have said. i will wait.

I dont try and be someone i am not, i am honest, i am who i am.

and if people cant ney wont get passed my children. then what am i meant to do??

Have you considered other breeds? While cavs are lovely dogs for kids, there are also other lovely slightly more robust breeds.

Other than that, be persistent and wait. If the rescue people said they will help you, then sooner or later the right dog will come into rescue.

With or without kids it is reasonable to expect to wait for the right dog, and having kids means that you might wait longer.

[italmum]

finally something i can tell you, to be honest i never say "my kids are so great" i just simply state "i have 3 small children" this is when i am talking to breeders mind you, every mother thinks that their kids are perfect little angels in our own minds.

I am getting knock backs just based on my honest statement on my childrens ages...puppys are usually "going" to be avail,,which as i have said. i will wait.

I dont try and be someone i am not, i am honest, i am who i am.

and if people cant ney wont get passed my children. then what am i meant to do??

Have you considered other breeds? While cavs are lovely dogs for kids, there are also other lovely slightly more robust breeds.

Other than that, be persistent and wait. If the rescue people said they will help you, then sooner or later the right dog will come into rescue.

With or without kids it is reasonable to expect to wait for the right dog, and having kids means that you might wait longer.

if i can wait 9 months for a baby, i can wait just as long if not more for a dog.

[Chocolatelover]

Gosh Italmum - this is getting ridiculous, your kids will be left home before you find the "perfect" pup. No wonder people go to pet shops and BYBs!!!

Waiting for three years for a pup if you don't want to show or breed seems a bit over the top. If you find a pup that is health tested and has been raised in a family environment and take him into your family at eight weeks, put in the effort into socialisation, training and exercise - I reckon you have a good chance of getting a pretty good dog. We have raised three pups since having our children and they have all turned out to have very similar personalities - which is most likely to be a product of the environment in which they were raised.

And if you are proud of the way your children have turned out then you have every right to brag about them. You sound like you have done a good job with them and anyone with children knows that it is just a little bit more challenging than raising a pup.

When there is a dog attack in the news people like to talk about how kids should know this, that and the other about a dog's nature but how the hell are kids supposed to learn when you can't even find someone who will let you buy a pup from them. Breeders must be overlooking a lot of great homes if so many are rejecting people with kids.

There are 46 breeders listed on dogzonline and many say they have pups available now. Why do they say this if there are huge waiting lists? The world has gone mad I think.

Good luck with finding your pup and I am sure he will have a wonderful home

Edited March 31, 2010 by Chocolatelover

[iggy mum]

Gosh Italmum - this is getting ridiculous, your kids will be left home before you find the "perfect" pup. No wonder people go to pet shops and BYBs!!!

Waiting for three years for a pup if you don't want to show or breed seems a bit over the top. If you find a pup that is health tested and has been raised in a family environment and take him into your family at eight weeks, put in the effort into socialisation, training and exercise - I reckon you have a good chance of getting a pretty good dog. We have raised three pups since having our children and they have all turned out to have very similar personalities - which is most likely to be a product of the environment in which they were raised.

And if you are proud of the way your children have turned out then you have every right to brag about them. You sound like you have done a good job with them and anyone with children knows that it is just a little bit more challenging than raising a pup.

When there is a dog attack in the news people like to talk about how kids should know this, that and the other about a dog's nature but how the hell are kids supposed to learn when you can't even find someone who will let you buy a pup from them. Breeders must be overlooking a lot of great homes if so many are rejecting people with kids.

There are 46 breeders listed on dogzonline and many say they have pups available now. Why do they say this if there are huge waiting lists? The world has gone mad I think.

Good luck with finding your pup and I am sure he will have a wonderful home

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