Finding It Hard To Find The "one" :cry:

[italmum]

Hi italmum

ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO!!!

.

Hugs and good luck

S

Yeah i am starting to think this is a problem with many mums of young kids, atleast we arent just ringing some random from the trading post and getting a puppy farmed dog..i am just as picky with my breeders are they are with me. and definately I have been asking if they are good with children. my number one requirement!

We have a farm also (hobby farm in bayles) and live elsewhere...so our kids are very well adapt to how to treat animals and how to run away from goats lol

[kendall]

Good luck with your search

Yeah i am starting to think this is a problem with many mums of young kids

Don't agree with this though. When I was looking for my Cocker my girls were fairly young - oldest was 8, youngest was 18 months old when she came to us so they were quite a bit younger when I first started the search (took a looooooooooong time to get my girl ). I don't know the answer to why you aren't having much luck - it might just not be 'your time' There will be a pup/dog out there for you that IS the right one

[italmum]

Good luck with your search

Yeah i am starting to think this is a problem with many mums of young kids

Don't agree with this though. When I was looking for my Cocker my girls were fairly young - oldest was 8, youngest was 18 months old when she came to us so they were quite a bit younger when I first started the search (took a looooooooooong time to get my girl ). I don't know the answer to why you aren't having much luck - it might just not be 'your time' There will be a pup/dog out there for you that IS the right one

i believe in fate...and i am really starting to think its not my time

My childrens ages are 4, 2 and 1...I tend to get the how do i cope now from ppl..and then it begs the question how will i cope with a dog aswell..You just do. and it wont make a difference to me , The dog will be spoilt rotten and have 5 people after its attention.

[SkySoaringMagpie]

Probably it's the kids. A few things behind that:

1 - If you have 3 small kids, the breeder will be wanting to know how much time you can give the dog and especially how much time you can give to supervision and education and training (the kids and the dog). Realistically, what is your life like now? Dogs, even "easy" breeds like Cavs, are a lot of work.

2 - Everyone, but everyone says that their kids are great kids and wouldn't hurt the dog etc. It's like everyone thinking they are a good driver - yet the roads are full of idiots. The thing is, kids can and do seriously injure small dogs like cavvies without intending to or even knowing that they've done it. It has nothing to do with whether they are a good kid or not. Also, to be frank, not everyone is a good judge of whether their kids would intentionally hurt a dog either. Vets and vet nurses can tell you stories about that. It's not personal, it's just that the breeders have no information about you they can use to work out if you are the exception to the rule. And if they have homes lined up with retired ladies in their 60's who have had Cavs for the last 30 years then you can see that you won't get over the line.

3 - "Good with children" is often code for "will put up with any crap that the kids dish out without biting them". You might not intend to send this message, but unless you are demonstrating that you are clueful about dogs and kids in your interactions with the breeders they may be concluding that by "good with children" you want a very tolerant dog. They may rightfully decide that they don't want to put a dog - even one with bomb-proof temperament - into a house where it spends most of its time tolerating stressful behaviour. You might say "oh, but that's not us" but the breeder has no way of knowing that and there's older divorcee Mrs Smith looking for a Cav after her Pookie died last year and she's a much safer bet.

[Lady Flying Furball]

I say go the whole hog and get a puppy, Pups are resiliant and you and the kids would have a lot of fun teaching him/her. Perfect if you are a stay at home mum, lots of time for kids and pup. When I got Cooper now nearly 4, he was 8 weeks old, at the time I had my own child care business and I had kids of all ages under 4 coming and going all the time, Cooper loved it always someone new to play with, I never ever had a problem with him at all, he was so sad when I finished up to take a different job. I dont have kids of my own and even now if we go somewhere there are kids or if we have kids visit, he gets that glint in his eye and his tail starts going madly he just loves kids and I think it is because of his early interaction with them!! Anyway good luck I hope you find what your looking for!!

HAHA dont tempt me!! i would love a lil pup...but i have to think of the kids, well the dog really.. I want them to enjoy each others company

A friend of mine with a 3 yo, 7 yo and 8 yo got a pup last year. They managed fine...but of course puppies have their own requirements... Also, the pup has grown so quickly, so maybe consider it if it makes getting a dog more possible. The kids had to learn to be gentle and while dealing with the "nippy" problems kids and dog were often seperated. Good luck. I hope you don't give up...

[Monah]

Is it possible to visit a breeder or strike up a relationship at a show etc?

WIth all my dogs I've had close ties with the breeders and have been offered dogs left right and centre when they have had dogs returned or people change their minds. You build up trust etc. I'm glad that breeders care where their pups go. You know you will offer a great home, but on 'paper' it may not be obvious. emails and phone calls arent' really enough these days with all the awful places around.

You will also find that once word gets round the 'circles' that you are a good prospect that you could be inundated with doggie offers. My cousin has 4 top notch champions that she has been given over the years, because everyone knows she is dedicated to dog sports and the dogs.

I also had dogs when my kids were tiny (well before they were born and got more after) and although they were not what a lot of people with little children would have (wolfhounds, giant schnauzers and lakeland terriers), all were wonderful as were the kids and most of the time we had 5 kids at home, from ages newborn to 6 and then as they grew up.

I think you'll find with just a little more effort that you will have a dog before you know it, even if you are on a waiting list. They just have to meet you and see what a great home their dog could have

[Monah]

Great post skysoaring

I have a close friend who got a cav, lovely dog who I often babysat, but they thought it would be easy care, ended up having lots of ear problems and I took him to the vet often as they did not follow up with meds No dog is easy, maybe if that word is being mentioned that's what puts breeders off?

[italmum]

Probably it's the kids. A few things behind that:

1 - If you have 3 small kids, the breeder will be wanting to know how much time you can give the dog and especially how much time you can give to supervision and education and training (the kids and the dog). Realistically, what is your life like now? Dogs, even "easy" breeds like Cavs, are a lot of work.

My life revolves around my kids atm..son goes to kinder 2 x 3 hrs per week, I spend alot of time at home just playing with the children, and we are now really starting to enjoy our park outings. I really dont see finding the time to train a dog the issue here, I am actually 10 mins from KCC park and i have been told they do obedience there...I was hoping that would be something i would do with the dog. other than that...training inside WITH the children around

2 - Everyone, but everyone says that their kids are great kids and wouldn't hurt the dog etc. It's like everyone thinking they are a good driver - yet the roads are full of idiots. The thing is, kids can and do seriously injure small dogs like cavvies without intending to or even knowing that they've done it. It has nothing to do with whether they are a good kid or not. Also, to be frank, not everyone is a good judge of whether their kids would intentionally hurt a dog either. Vets and vet nurses can tell you stories about that. It's not personal, it's just that the breeders have no information about you they can use to work out if you are the exception to the rule. And if they have homes lined up with retired ladies in their 60's who have had Cavs for the last 30 years then you can see that you won't get over the line.

I understand what you mean here...i am more than happy to be put on a trial with the dog, and have the breeder meet my children. they are shy and fairly quiet

3 - "Good with children" is often code for "will put up with any crap that the kids dish out without biting them". You might not intend to send this message, but unless you are demonstrating that you are clueful about dogs and kids in your interactions with the breeders they may be concluding that by "good with children" you want a very tolerant dog. They may rightfully decide that they don't want to put a dog - even one with bomb-proof temperament - into a house where it spends most of its time tolerating stressful behaviour. You might say "oh, but that's not us" but the breeder has no way of knowing that and there's older divorcee Mrs Smith looking for a Cav after her Pookie died last year and she's a much safer bet.

good with children to me is, wont bite the kids! I dont mind if the dog is a little boistrous, and its up to me to stop the children from annoying the dog, they will not be left on their own with the dog and i will teach them all the aspects of responsibly ownership, the oldest will even be included in the training of the dog.

as i said i want the dog to be a part of the family - and i wont tolerate my children being rough with it - in the end it comes down to my parenting

Edited March 29, 2010 by italmum

[italmum]

my god that took me so long to do that reply...new to the forum so the editing is overwhelming

[sas]

I reckon, see if you can visit a local Breeder so they can see what your Children are like with the dogs and that may help settle their nerves a bit.

[italmum]

yeah i know.

WHO WANTS TO COME VISIT ME LOL

I am baking a white choc raspberry cake as we speak hehe

So when is the next big cav meet at KCC park in vic..i can go there..its 10 mins drive.

[mita]

Hi, & welcome to the forums.

I agree with the person who said breeders wisely make their 'calls' on whether their puppies/dogs will go to homes with young children, or not.

There are some cases where a breeder has raised puppies & keeps her dogs with her own small children.

We owned a tibetan spaniel (tibbie) who'd been born & bred as a housedog by a breeder whose small grand-children lived on the same property since they were babies. This tibbie was passionate about human babies....a real 'nanny' dog. She'd actually carry on when someone was holding a baby as if the bub were a bag of sweets.

Once, a tradesman left 2 doors & 2 gates open & both this tibbie & her 'sister' escaped from our yard...the first one was definitely the leader.

I got a phone call from a lady down the road who was a day-care mum.....with a bunch of littlies.

The tibbie girls had come to her front door & scratched to get in. The little ones thought they'd got a gift from above when 2 little golden dogs arrived for cuddles. A small procession of children came down the footpath, to bring them home.

It didn't surprise me that the tibbie who'd been socialised with babies & small children, headed straight into a day-care mother's home.

Can you find a registered Cav breeder who raises her puppies alongside her own babies & small children?

There's an experienced registered tibbie breeder in Brisbane that I send people with children to....because she's also a day-care mum.

Edited March 29, 2010 by mita

[italmum]

if anyone reading this knows of such a breeder i would love to hear from them

[Dogsfevr]

Placing out an older dog requires any breeder to use there own judgement on how they feel it will deal with young children.

We dont sell our older dogs on the small occasion we have them to people with young children because there not use to them & it would be irresponsible to send a dog off to a new home where you had doubts.older children (ie 7 upwards we have no worries as there at an age to understand .

As already said we have all heard the my kids are great ,we have had many such people come out & see our dogs & to be honest they need a stuffed one & yes they have been told to come back when older & the children are ready to appreciate a dog.

We have certainly placed out dogs to families with very young kids because the whole dynamics was great & they have succeeded very well BUT they also showed the whole family would be involved with a great support role whilst the pup was at its crucial stage/needs for training & not being made a lesser priority because the children where young & came first.

After all a pup is a another baby in the house & even an older dog doesnt equate to instant ease.

As also said when you have numerous people after said dog you have to pick the home you feel will best suit that dog for life & many factors do come in & older person V very young children can often end up older person,fair maybe not but in the end as a breeder we have to make the hard calls & place that pup/dog where we feel is best,

I would certainly suggest going out & meeting some breeders ,attend some dogshows.In june for example the Cavie club of victoria have there champ show & there will be like 150 plus cavies ,a great place to see the dogs,not always the easiest to talk to breeders but worth a visit .

Are you after a set colour/sex??

[italmum]

I am after preferrably a male, but i would not turn away a female if she was the right dog for us.

blenheim or tri-colour

[GoldenGirl85]

All I can really suggest if find a breeder in your local area, even if they have no pups at the time being you can still get to know them, and let them get to know your kids, plus spending time with the breed will only help you train him/her. If you can build up a relationship with a reputable breeder you might be able to use them as a reference to get a pup off another breeder

If I can suggest looking up crate training if you arent familiar with it, it gives the dog a place to go just to get away, that way you can teach your kids not to disturb puppy when its gone to its crate, Ive never crate trained a dog until I got my GR pup and I havnt looked back, it is great for toilet training as well...oh, and just make sure your kids know not to lock puppy in the crate, its not a jail

Dont give up looking for a pup, you will have a much better chance of getting a younger one, but the right pup will come along

[Tansy]

Sounds like you are on the right track. There are people who won't sell to people with young kids, but there are plenty who will. I think the bigger issue is with wanting an older pup you might need to be a bit patient. Don't know what you mean by 'older' by the way, I'm assuming six months or so?? Generally when people are selling an older pup it is because they have run them on, and then decide to place them, so there aren't heaps of them around. There is a huge demand for older pups and young adults, so it might take you awhile to find the right one.

[italmum]

well some minor developments...

I have decided to look into a baby , and have searched the breeders page and found a breeder in my area who raises her pups with small children, I gave her a call and without any promises we have decided that when her next litter is due (2 weeks) she will call and arange for me to visit the pups when they are 6 weeks old to see how the kids react around them.

I did want a 6 mth plus dog, and something might just come up whilst i am waiting for these pups to be born, i am a little hesitant to get a newbie - although my DH thinks in the end it may be the best thing...a couple of months of juggling the kids with the dog or introducing an older pup that may have never been in contact with children.

Well wondering what peoples thoughts on this are.

I just wanna make sure in the end I do the right thing for my children and the dog.

Cindy

[LizT]

yeah i know.

WHO WANTS TO COME VISIT ME LOL

I am baking a white choc raspberry cake as we speak hehe

So when is the next big cav meet at KCC park in vic..i can go there..its 10 mins drive.

There are ALL BREEDS Shows there over the Easter Weekend. Definitely Monday (I'm going) but the next CAVALIER BREED SHOW is at Lancefield in June I believe?? Bit of a hike for us Eastern (and Southern ) suburb people.

Incidently I've seen many a mum/parents/grandparents juggling small children and Show Dogs at events and I take my hat off to them. I know off one lady with two little girls under three who are very good around dogs as they've grown up around the Show Ring, so to speak.

Sometimes I think we ALL make "RODS for our backs" by adding to our workload in some ways. As Cavaliers are definitely INDOOR MOSTLY dogs it WILL mean more work for you and your little ones will be covered in hair, but as you said, you had a Cav (Carla?) so you already know what's invloved in their care.

Maybe you've just been unlucky in finding an older puppy. It could be you are after an age that a breeder would either still be holding on to, in a view to showing and seeing how it matures and that the baby puppies are usually spoken for by 8 weeks.

My sister (not the one in England) wanted an adult West Highland White Terrier and I came to a dead end trying to source her one at the time after contacting Breeders etc. It just might be the timing.

Also I don't think it's necessary to have kids around to socialise a puppy to be suitable for a home with children. I believe that the human interaction is the important step. This and the education and attitude of the prospective buyers.

Edited March 29, 2010 by LizT

[italmum]

There are ALL BREEDS Shows there over the Easter Weekend. Definitely Monday (I'm going) but the next CAVALIER BREED SHOW is at Lancefield in June I believe?? Bit of a hike for us Eastern (and Southern ) suburb people.

Well let me know what times and i will run down there to introduce myself to the breeders

Sometimes I think we ALL make "RODS for our backs" by adding to our workload in some ways. As Cavaliers are definitely INDOOR MOSTLY dogs it WILL mean more work for you and your little ones will be covered in hair, but as you said, you had a Cav (Carla?) so you already know what's invloved in their care.

I had one come into my care, his name was Oliver and he was dumped, after having him in my life for a couple of weeks, that made me fall inlove with the breed - i was sad to see him go