Finding It Hard To Find The "one" :cry:

[italmum]

Hi everyone!!

My family and I have decided to get a dog, I have put so much research and thought into the breed we should get and we have decided to get a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

My only thing is i have 3 small children so i have decided to opt for an older puppy (i know its not often you see them advertised) BUT in saying that i have found a few and it seems that the conversations go really well, and then I dont hear back from the breeders. Also I have had a couple of breeders basically tell me that they wont sell pups to children under 4.

I am a bit dissolutioned by this attitude towards me, My children are very well behaved, lovely and caring children - and all 3 of them respect animals and being around pets have never shown anything that would make me not trust them. So my question basically is...should we be put into the "not suitable to own basket"??? when...I am a sahm who has so much time on my hands to be able to raise a dog and still obviously show the same care for my children as i do now. And i have the utmost faith in my children, that they will be loving towards the dog.

If anyone would like to help me out i would be greatly appreciated

Edited April 1, 2010 by italmum

[Gumnut]

Don't give up the right breeder and the right dog is out there somewhere. Good luck, I hope you find a pup soon

[italmum]

thanks - but its so hard to stay positive ..and my head is aching lol I think maybe i am just not meant to have one

and i am doing the right thing i think by looking for an older pup...that way in the event the kids scared him/her they can run away to their saftey room (laundry) baby gates do come in handy afterall

[Monah]

Have you checked out mature dogs on the DOL breed pages? There may be some there.

I can understand that some breeders would be a bit worried. Sometimes its a good idea to build up a relationship with a breeder first.

Can't help you re problems aquiring a dog, my neighbours have 4 small children and had no issues getting 2 cockers (who are very lovely and spoilt!!) Surely there are some breeders around who are ok with it? Maybe it's something else.

Good luck, they are a beautiful breed

[Monah]

italmum, puppies (and dogs) need time out from children and hopefully, should never be frightened by them. A frightened dog may learn to bite (protection) or become timid. If you do get one, supervison so that doesn't happen is the best. xxxx

[Jake-K9]

Puppy listings from DOL homepage (45 of!) http://www.dogzonline.com.au/breeds/puppie...les-spaniel.asp

And mature dog listings (11 of) http://www.dogzonline.com.au/breeds/mature...les-spaniel.asp

Don't give up, your 'one' is out there somewhere

Edited March 28, 2010 by Jake-K9

[italmum]

thanks for the input...have checked the mature dogs listed ..just missed the out on a lovely 10 month old boy 2 weeks ago I honestly dont think it is anything else but the children issue...some breeders have wanted to help but have not had any older dogs.. if you ever spoke to me you would see i am super easy going and with the 3 kiddies so close...man do i have alot of patience haha

The ckcs are great family dogs...they just appeal so much to me...i love everything about them...and i have been told about possible probs etc..i also have a 1 yr old cat that i have to think about also i dont want her to get to a point where she wont accept a dog..as you know cats are funny lil things.

I have 2 enclosed patios...one which will be daily time out for the dog (from the kids)..but i do have a safe place in the laundry..we are planning on putting a doggy flap so he/she can go straight outside (for play and business) so I have everything covered...bed included lol just need a dog

[Tansy]

Maybe try contacting some breeders, not just those advertising an older pup. Sometimes as a breeder you may have 'run on' a pup but are umming and ahhing about keeping the pup. Often with older dogs I might not be 100% about selling them, but then the right home often seems to just come along, so you decide to let the dog go.

If you do contact breeders don't just send an email that says, "Got any older pups? How much?". Instead, provide some info on who you are, why you are looking for an older pup, and how you plan to manage a pup with the kids etc. Ask if i would be OK if you call them to discuss (or alternatively, if they have a website or a listing here that says they prefer to be contacted by phone, contact them by phone in the first instance).

Some breeders won't sell to people with young kids, others won't sell to people who work fulltime etc. If you get that response just thank them for their time and move on. There are also breeders who prefer to sell to people with kids, especially if one parent is home full time.

Edited March 28, 2010 by Tansy

[Monah]

Yes, I was just going to say there are 11 mature (some are very young, just not small pups) listings on the mature dog pages on the home page. Also try the cav thread in breed pages and have a 'chat' to them there about getting a dog and they will have the very best advice as they all have this breed.

[italmum]

Maybe try contacting some breeders, not just those advertising an older pup. Sometimes as a breeder you may have 'run on' a pup but are umming and ahhing about keeping the pup. Often with older dogs I might not be 100% about selling them, but then the right home often seems to just come along, so you decide to let the dog go.

If you do contact breeders don't just send an email that says, "Got any older pups? How much?". Instead, provide some info on who you are, why you are looking for an older pup, and how you plan to manage a pup with the kids etc. Ask if i would be OK if you call them to discuss (or alternatively, if they have a website or a listing here that says they prefer to be contacted by phone, contact them by phone in the first instance).

Some breeders won't sell to people with young kids, others won't sell to people who work fulltime etc. If you get that response just thank them for their time and move on. There are also breeders who prefer to sell to people with kids, especially if one parent is home full time.

Hey Tansy...all of this i have done...i am not worried about the cost...i know they are not cheap...I have called most of the breeders...and they have past me onto leads...which lead to nothing lol BUT I wont give up...even if i ring and ring and ring!! I explain my situation and the reason i want an older pup...because of my childrens age. I really think we are in the right stage of our life where a dog would fit in...we are starting to become a very active family and I want the dog to be another family member.

[cvs]

Finding the right puppy is a long drawn out process and you could be awaiting a long time. I know with my last one it took me over 12 months to find him.

The right puppy/dog is out there just dont jump in with the first one that you find.

Contact breeders outside your state as most will ship to you at your expense.

Good luck with your search, PM me if you require any help locating breeders

[tlc]

I say go the whole hog and get a puppy, Pups are resiliant and you and the kids would have a lot of fun teaching him/her. Perfect if you are a stay at home mum, lots of time for kids and pup. When I got Cooper now nearly 4, he was 8 weeks old, at the time I had my own child care business and I had kids of all ages under 4 coming and going all the time, Cooper loved it always someone new to play with, I never ever had a problem with him at all, he was so sad when I finished up to take a different job. I dont have kids of my own and even now if we go somewhere there are kids or if we have kids visit, he gets that glint in his eye and his tail starts going madly he just loves kids and I think it is because of his early interaction with them!! Anyway good luck I hope you find what your looking for!!

[italmum]

I say go the whole hog and get a puppy, Pups are resiliant and you and the kids would have a lot of fun teaching him/her. Perfect if you are a stay at home mum, lots of time for kids and pup. When I got Cooper now nearly 4, he was 8 weeks old, at the time I had my own child care business and I had kids of all ages under 4 coming and going all the time, Cooper loved it always someone new to play with, I never ever had a problem with him at all, he was so sad when I finished up to take a different job. I dont have kids of my own and even now if we go somewhere there are kids or if we have kids visit, he gets that glint in his eye and his tail starts going madly he just loves kids and I think it is because of his early interaction with them!! Anyway good luck I hope you find what your looking for!!

HAHA dont tempt me!! i would love a lil pup...but i have to think of the kids, well the dog really.. I want them to enjoy each others company

[poodlefan]

I have 2 enclosed patios...one which will be daily time out for the dog (from the kids)..but i do have a safe place in the laundry..we are planning on putting a doggy flap so he/she can go straight outside (for play and business) so I have everything covered...bed included lol just need a dog

Will the pup be coming inside the house with the family?

If not, I think this could be big part of your problem. I was going to ask if this would be an inside with the family dog. Unless you are prepared to allow the CKCS inside (not necessarily in all of the house) at night to spend time with your family and sleep it inside then my guess is not many breeders will be interested in selling you a pup.

CKCS are are toy breed, selectively bred for a very long time to focus on and want to be with people. I expect if you are planning on sleeping the pup in the laundry, that won't appeal to many breeders.

No matter how loving your kids are, you won't be able to leave them unsupervised with the pup. Are you up for that? I'd certainly not allow them to pick the puppy up - a wriggling pup can be dropped and badly injured.

Edited March 28, 2010 by poodlefan

[LizT]

You sound like a lovely person with a beautiful attitude and I'm sure you teach your children the correct way to behave around small (and large) animals. My three children all grew up around animals and I was always most careful to protect both puppies (and foals) and children from each other. Never unsupervised play or left alone together. The same goes for adult pets too.

I would have no qualms selling a puppy (that was not an introvert or outwardly shy dog, they all have there own personalities) to someone who understood the importance of teaching children to be gentle with animals.

Certainly children over 5 is a good guideline but I've seen some lovely young children and some real noisey horrors that even the most stoic animal would have trouble being around. Certainly the breeder has the right to decide but you certainly sound aware of what would be required of both your children and puppies best interest.

I'm sorry I don't have any puppies to sell at the moment.

Don't give up, Cavaliers a great family pets, particulary with kids.

Interestingly my sister encountered a similar predjudice about working and not being at home all day when looking to buy a Cavalier puppy in England???

Also food for thought....little puppies aren't really little for that long (sadly)

Edited March 28, 2010 by LizT

[tlc]

I say go the whole hog and get a puppy, Pups are resiliant and you and the kids would have a lot of fun teaching him/her. Perfect if you are a stay at home mum, lots of time for kids and pup. When I got Cooper now nearly 4, he was 8 weeks old, at the time I had my own child care business and I had kids of all ages under 4 coming and going all the time, Cooper loved it always someone new to play with, I never ever had a problem with him at all, he was so sad when I finished up to take a different job. I dont have kids of my own and even now if we go somewhere there are kids or if we have kids visit, he gets that glint in his eye and his tail starts going madly he just loves kids and I think it is because of his early interaction with them!! Anyway good luck I hope you find what your looking for!!

HAHA dont tempt me!! i would love a lil pup...but i have to think of the kids, well the dog really.. I want them to enjoy each others company

Im not quite sure why you think they wouldn't enjoy each others company, kids love fun puppies love having fun. as long as you make a safe place (crate or similar) for the pup to be able to retreat to once he/she needs some quiet time or a sleep, then there should be no worries at all. Also as lizt said puppies are not puppies for long. Although there would be more work involved with a pup, toilet training obedience training etc.

My boy put up with the noisiest, naughtiest of kids and he survived, he got used to it from a young age.

[Gretel]

Yes I was wondering the same as Poodlefan - they really do want to be with you. I have sold pups to families with young children. I have also refused to sell a pup to a family cause one of the children grabbed a pup by the neck and held it up against the puppy pen whilst the parents just looked on I raced to grab the puppy. If the parents had reacted differently and made it clear that they were going to teach the child how to treat a pup with care the outcome would have been different!

[Chocolatelover]

I say go the whole hog and get a puppy, Pups are resiliant and you and the kids would have a lot of fun teaching him/her. Perfect if you are a stay at home mum, lots of time for kids and pup. When I got Cooper now nearly 4, he was 8 weeks old, at the time I had my own child care business and I had kids of all ages under 4 coming and going all the time, Cooper loved it always someone new to play with, I never ever had a problem with him at all, he was so sad when I finished up to take a different job. I dont have kids of my own and even now if we go somewhere there are kids or if we have kids visit, he gets that glint in his eye and his tail starts going madly he just loves kids and I think it is because of his early interaction with them!! Anyway good luck I hope you find what your looking for!!

We got our first lab pup when my kids were two and three. He adored the kids and I think they needed time out from him more than the other way around He always wanted to be where they were and I taught them straight away that pups were not for picking up or being rough with. He was always very gentle with them and would "wrestle" with my son in an entirely different manner to my husband. They were involved in the feeding, walking, care bits too - not just the fun stuff.

Unfortunately we lost him at three years. We got our beagle pup when the kids were 5 & 6 and most recently our lab pup last year. He is eight months now and has an almost identical relationship with them as our last dog. Personally, I love the bond that develops between the kids and dogs - as long as the kids are taught to respect them (which is exactly how yours sound ) Even when we are out walking and go past their school where the all the kids are playing they both get so excited and seems to "look" for them and are reluctant to keep going. Our lab sleeps with my daughter and the beagle with my son

Your kids sound great and you a great Mum so don't rule out a pup totally!!!!!! A lot of work but the end result is worth it.

[mumof3]

Hi italmum

ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO!!!

Wow - I thought I was reading my own post for a moment there. I haven't read the entire thread just yet but hope to get back to it. I also have three young children and am looking to acquire, for the first time, a family pet dog. My kids are 5, 3 and 1, and have grown up around the cat, our working dogs, horses, chooks etc. It is time for particularly my 5 year old to have a pet dog. The working dogs are not really suitable for a few different reasons. I too have had a bit of an anit child attitude from some breeders, but have had a very helpful and supportive attitude from the breeder I am listed with now. I've been very open about our circumstances, and very fussy about trying to get "the one" as you put it. I chose a different breed from you, the Brittany, because we are a very active outdoorsy family and the dog should be able to come on horse rides and long walks and bike rides and camping trips etc etc. We have a half acre back yard and I'm also a full time SAHM (aren't we so lucky?). So I just wanted to reach out and say - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

Some thoughts, though, as I have raised many pups (working dogs). I decided against an older pup because this is the age where they can be a bit much for children and if they haven't had the right training and socialisation from the start it may be a bit of an uphill battle (though I think your choice of breed is pretty spot on). I've noticed that many of the older pups being rehomed come with a bit of "baggage", probably an owner who didn't have the time to spend with the pup to make things go the right way. I decided to find either a beautiful, perfect mature dog (say about 4 - 8 years) who came from a family who had lovingly cared for him and trained him but sadly had to relocate overseas or something (a tall order), or to just get a young pup and make sure I invest the time from the start to make sure it all works.

Another thought, and I may come under attack here, but so be it. I'm not convinced that all breeders are necessarily breeding for temperament (the single most important factor for you and I). If a breeder doesn't sound happy about children being around their dogs, I'd just move along to another breeder. Sooner or later you'll find someone who loves dogs AND children and will help you to find the right animal for you (hopefully someone with integrity and a good reputation - not just a BYB who will sell you anything). You and I know our children and what they are capable of and what is right for them. We know what sort of dog we want. Be patient and I'm sure it will come around. I've got another month to wait until my puppy is born - and I'm TRYING to be patient, but I'm very excited about going into this stage.

I know my younger two will need time away from the pup, and pup will need time away from all the children, so I've decided the pup will not be a indoors all the time dog, but will have a crate in the laundry and the run of the garden, and be invited in for cuddles on the lounge with OH and I after all the kids have gone to sleep, and maybe for watching ABC kids in the afternoon.

So nice to hear another Mum with the same problems that I'm having - feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat further. Animals are so good for children, we had a rescue Golden Retriever when I was a kid and that was just wonderful. Kids learn so much about compassion, caring for animals, respect and importantly, consequences. The Cav's are just beautiful and I nearly went that way but decided to get something that could come with us everywhere and do everything with us everyday - a boys dog with lots of spark.

Hugs and good luck

S

[italmum]

I have 2 enclosed patios...one which will be daily time out for the dog (from the kids)..but i do have a safe place in the laundry..we are planning on putting a doggy flap so he/she can go straight outside (for play and business) so I have everything covered...bed included lol just need a dog

Will the pup be coming inside the house with the family?

If not, I think this could be big part of your problem. I was going to ask if this would be an inside with the family dog. Unless you are prepared to allow the CKCS inside (not necessarily in all of the house) at night to spend time with your family and sleep it inside then my guess is not many breeders will be interested in selling you a pup.

CKCS are are toy breed, selectively bred for a very long time to focus on and want to be with people. I expect if you are planning on sleeping the pup in the laundry, that won't appeal to many breeders.

No matter how loving your kids are, you won't be able to leave them unsupervised with the pup. Are you up for that? I'd certainly not allow them to pick the puppy up - a wriggling pup can be dropped and badly injured.

the dog will be an inside dog - obviously doing its business outside...my patio and laundry are places where the dog can go for time out if the kids get a bit rowdy, and i will teach them, like i taught them with the kitten, not to pick it up and pat only when they are siting down. They are very bright and have never done any hard to our lucy cat.