Problems With The Bf's Dog

[sandgrubber]

Inability or unwillingness. I am a pretty lax on rules/boundaries myself and will defend my right to be so. I don't care if the sofa gets ruined or the floor dirty. Consider it an opportunity to find out whether your BF and you have similar enough standards to continue the relationship . . . or perhaps you're better off in the 'just visiting' style of bf/gf relationship.

Those issues are not the dog's.... They are caused by your bf's inability to create rules/boundaries for the dog. Fleas however should be treated ASAP!

[rottidogspotty]

Lyndsy, he never 'pushed' him in the pool, but he chase him around and pick him up and then walk in the pool with him. Scooby just tenses up from it. But I think it's stupid anyway. One of his friends actually pushed the dog in the pool once, I think because he was barking so much he got irritated and just shoved Scooby in the pool. His friend is much younger, thats no excuse but yes totally immature, no matter how much he's barking.

lol hmmmm I was afraid of that.... Christina and Monah...

On one occasion when I was doing the 'time out' or praise method in the pool, I asked the bf 'So what would happened if you had children and they were naughty, would you just let them be naughty and run a muck?' ............... and his response 'well at least they would like me' .... I was quietly insulted, said nothing and promptly took Jess and went home. It did annoy me because I had been taking time out to get in and out, in and out, in and out of the pool, to teach his dog something... and then he said that... He later admitted it was a stupid thing to say and he didn't mean it and appreciated me trying to help scooby...

My bf is a really nice guy, in fact, he's probably the first really nice guy I've been out with.... Although I do think he does lack some .... er guts... (I feel mean saying that though)..

But you know, then I think of another bf I had before that wouldn't allow me to have the cat inside (pedigree ragdoll)... even on a 42 degree day.. we actually broke up over it lol... twice... So then I think, am I now that person? lol

Gilly I find the same thing with Jess, she's 40ish kilos, and she can find the first step but then kind of just belly flops in haha... her bum sinks straight away but then gets the dog paddle going and putters along doing laps... it's so funny... I love that she loves the water...

I don't know about the walking... I go through stages where I walk her 3 times a week, other times once a week.... but I also bring her to work with me for the day once or twice a week, spend a lot of time in the back yard and of course I also take her to the bfs now.

...... Although, when I first got Jess (although advised that she was ok with cats) I found she actually wanted to kill cats (including mine) and she tried on several occasions. (it's a long story, but it wasn't an option to send her back where she came from). So I used the pack leader methods to help her stop wanting to kill the cat, and one of the things included big long walks before she was socialised with the cat (while on a lead)... so that way she was more relaxed... it worked well..

[rottidogspotty]

... I should add that now the dog and cat are like two peas in a pod they've come a long way and lucky the cat was pretty cruisey and very forgiving!

[dogbesotted]

yup send the BF over to DOL we'll train him up

H

[Jed]

- Scooby is allowed to get on the couch, and leaves dirt and sand all over there. It’s filthy and my bf expects me to sit in dirt and next to the dog that has FLEAS

Wash the dog.Use flea products on the dog. If that doesn't work, teach the dog "down" and provide a bed on the floor.

- Scooby lets himself inside the house whenever he wants, and leaves the door wide open and has damaged the flyer wire.

Teach the dog to close the door.

Secure the door so the dog cannot open the door.

- Scoobs barks like a crazy barking dog when we are in the pool.

Train, train, train.

- He barks like a crazy dog when he wants something until the bf gives in.

Train, train, train

- He sometimes starts fights with my dog Jess over food or toys ie. He’s not interested in a toy unless Jess has it.

Enforce boundaries. Let him know that he cannot have anythin he wants

- Scooby wakes us up several times throughout the night to go the toilet.

- If he gets let out and we don’t wait for him to come back in (like the third time and I’m dead tired) so I leave him outside he then barks like mad until he’s let back inside.

- He pees or poos in the spare room if the bf hasn’t let him outside.

Housetraining. Take him out, stay with him, call him back when you want him. He shouldn't need to go outside 3 times per night. Refuse to take him out more than once. T ake out on lead if necessary. Close door to spareroom. Train bf to take dog outside.

-

When scooby does listen to the bf, he just sneakily does what he wants after anyway.

rrrrrrrrrr

Bf needs to be consistent, and aware that dog is not doing what he is asked.You may need to provides some training too.

There, I fixed it

[kiesha09]

I think it would be a good idea if your bf saw a trainer about his dog. He needs to learn how to create boundaries and what is acceptable behaviour and not.

But at the end of the day if he is happy living with his dog the way he does now, then it becomes a relationship issue that you and the bf have to sort out.

As for the pool... I have a friend with a BC that does exactly the same thing. Hates the pool and doesn't want to get in, but the splashing around, fast movements, running, jumping, splashing etc. over excites the dog. He then becomes very frustrated at not being able to join in because he won't go in the pool. She has spent a lot of time while her kids are in the pool, sitting outside with the dog on lead next to her and rewarding with yummy yummy treats (eg roast chicken, BBQ sausages - high value) for calm quiet behaviour lying next to her. It has worked wonderfully! She is now at the stage where she is teaching him that he still has to be quiet when she is in the pool by rewarding him for quiet behaviour from in the pool.

Also, the dog needs more exercise and mental stimulation by going for walks outside the property. THis is a ggreat start for his behaviour problems. He should be walked every day!

[Simply Grand]

It sounds like you know exactly what you're doing Rottidogspotty and your BF needs a big kick up the backside.

As part of retraining him (the BF that is), have you tried compromising with him on some things by maybe telling him you don't mind the dog on the couch so long as the dog has recently been washed and is free of fleas, or perhaps you're happy for the dog to sleep in the bedroom if a doggy door is put in so you don't have to get up during the night to let him out etcetera? That way he kind of gets what he wants but you also don't have to put up with a dirty, flea ridden animal or have your sleep interrupted when you stay there and it will also help his dog, who can't be too comfortable with fleas or with being stressed and barking all the time.

I agree with all of this Rottidogspotty, I don't think you need to panic and end the relationship just yet, three months isn't long and like Christina said you are still learning about each other. Compromising is only fair really, and if you can agree on things you can both live with then hopefully you can both be consistent in how you treat the dogs.

Like everyone else has said, the situation will only improve if you can get your BF to agree to clear rules and boundries, training and consistency. And I definitely agree about the exercise, my puppy very quickly gets naughty if he hasn't had his daily walk.

[Flash30Aus]

Can I hijack the thread and ask how you go about retraining a dog to not want to kill the cats?

I have an aged rescue I've had 4 weeks now who likes to bark at my puddy cats. She is placid and beautiful in all other ways, but I need to teach an old dog not to bark at members of the family!

Any ideas or suggestions?

Sorry

Christie

[Shakti]

I am married to a wonderful wonderful man who sounds similar to your bf in one important way - he would far rather be loved/liked than respected. He refuses to discipline our kids whatsoever (we have seven between us) let alone the dogs! It is actually a kind of sad manifestation of the fact that he is insecure about people liking him when he is *strong* rather than just meekly going along with everything.

If this is how your bf feels (and it has the ring of truth in it to me) you may find this attitude is present in many of his interactions not just with Scooby.

Good luck!

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

When will dogs learn that people don't like fleas? They need to get down to the vet and buy themselves some flea stuff. And they should take more showers. Not very smart are they?

Edited March 19, 2010 by dogmad

[rottidogspotty]

Hi All

Thanks again for your replies. I will see how I go with the bf and trying to toughen him up lol

lol dogmad & jed

Om goodness Brooke, 7 kids between you? So if your husband won't tell the kids off if they be little ferets, what happens? Are you always the bad guy? One time my BF said he was doing the 'time out' method with Scooby in the pool and claimed 'it didn't work' .... so next time I was over, I did it and it started working straight away.... in the end, the conclusion I came to was that my bf wasn't 'firm' enough, or just plain didn't 'mean' it, and Scooby knew it... ?

Christine, I sought advice from a trainer who educated me a bit on 'pack' mentality. I had to change things I was doing, ie, feed myself, then the cat, then Jess. Things like I would always walk through a door first, then invite the dog.. stuff like that... I used the 'time out' method with Jess with several things, and still use it now if she does something wrong... for example, she barks when guests arrive... but sometimes, she doesn't stop after I invite them in... so in time out she goes and she (now) stops barking straight away.. I leave her in there for few minutes. Time out being only water, no food, very boring in there no toys etc. and the time in there varies depending on what she's done... mostly it's a few minutes. But one time she tried to attack the cat (and scared the crap out both me and the poor cat lol)... she got an entire day in time out for that... it wasn't long after that, that she quickly started to respond a lot better.. time out is meant to be 'exclusion from the pack'. You're not meant to visit them in time out, but if you have to go into the area you can't give eye contact or acknowledgement them at all...

Is it just the barking or are you worried the adoptee will he/she maul the poor cats if given the opportunity?

[rottidogspotty]

One thing I always wondered though... because I always use the time out method... when we are at a park or a beach.... I don't overly know what to do if she plays up, other than tell her off....

Most of the time Jess is dog social. She does get into fights with scooby because he's a little doosh bag half the time - and both dogs get a time out .... but at the beach she likes other dogs... except... the other day, a puppy that wasn't on a lead came up and Jess and the pup sniffed each other.... then the puppy did like a puppy bow (where he spread his front feet and put his bum up in the air) - because he/she wanted to play, but jess just kicked off and wanted to attack her so I had to tell her off and pull her back... normally she would get an automatic time out for that... but we were at the beach? .... any suggestions on how to respond to that?

It doesn't happen all the time... once in a blue moon..

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

rottidogspotty - if your dog responds to a puppy play bowing with aggression, then she's in severe danger of killing or seriously injuring another dog. She is a dog that should never be allowed off leash around other dogs or where another dog will be.

Doesn't matter if it's "once in a blue moon" - it's not good enough, at all. She has an unpredictable temperament so it is NEVER safe to let her off leash.

[rottidogspotty]

rottidogspotty - if your dog responds to a puppy play bowing with aggression, then she's in severe danger of killing or seriously injuring another dog. She is a dog that should never be allowed off leash around other dogs or where another dog will be.

Doesn't matter if it's "once in a blue moon" - it's not good enough, at all. She has an unpredictable temperament so it is NEVER safe to let her off leash.

Hi Dogmad

Oh yes, without a doubt, I do keep Jess on a lead in public, a pretty short one too and the main reason for that is because Jess came with a 'is funny around kids' disclaimer when I adopted her... and she was definitely on a lead that day, but the puppy wasn't... It was really unpredictable.... it did freak me out when she responded to the pup like that...

do you think there is something I can do?

your thoughts appreciated. .

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

Well, I do know of one dog that a friend was fostering, he just didn't like other dogs at all and would snap at them. However, he was walking along the road on a lead one day when a pitbull left it's house over the road and attacked them. The owner followed and eventually got his dog off but my friend's medium sized foster dog was quite injured. (And before anybody questions as to whether or not it was a pitbull, it was. It was registered and the owner said it was, he thankfully copped a huge fine, knew his dog was dog aggressive but left front door open anyway).

My friend decided to call in a behaviouralist at this stage. I would never have believed it and she wouldn't either, but the behaviouralist spent several hours with them and at the end of this, the dog was fine with other dogs. A month later he was adopted with full disclosure about the past, it's hard to rehome a dog that doesn't like other dogs generally. He's thrived in his new home over the last few months with no problems at all. I think it cost $750 but there was a guarantee of follow up. I have no idea if this would work for every dog but maybe a behaviouralist could give you another opinion.

In the meantime, sounds like she needs to wear a muzzle if you are going out to places where dogs approach you?

I had an abused dog in the UK for years, he was gorgeous to look at and people would suddenly do things like pat or try and cuddle him without warning. He never bit but we were concerned that he would, he didn't like strangers much so we muzzled him. Never did him any harm and protected us from being sued or having to have him put to sleep because he'd bitten.

Edited March 19, 2010 by dogmad

[rottidogspotty]

yes, the lady who helped me with the cat thing, she had a guarantee too... but it wasn't a several hours thing, it was several months... mostly things I had to do. I might see if I can track her down again.

but the entire time I've owned Jess the only fights she's been in is:

- 1 at the dog beach once a staff/pit looking dog bolted for us and just attacked her, completely unprovoked. (similar to the situation in your last post). about 18 months ago.

- 2 she's been in several fights (probably say 5) with scooby just starts lifting his lip around food, or toys (or me and the bf even), and he'll stand over her, then start growling, in esculates, then all of a sudden it's on.... this has been happening for about 6 weeks

- 3 the incident with the puppy, jess was COMPLETELY in the wrong. it was probably more like 3 weeks ago.

Also... when she has had these fights with Scooby, it is very easy for Jess to overpower Scooby perhaps because he's a smaller dog, but she's never biten him. It it a lot of snarling - although it is quite scarey. What happens is although it starts with Scooby snarling, Jess in the end 'snarls' him to the ground.. and even when he's on the ground, she doesn't bite him, she just growls.... of course this all happens in a few seconds and we're usually there to separate the dogs and they both get a time out.. (and after that they are good again).

It aws the same with the puppy, just snarling. no biting.

Although, if there is a next time, I guess a muzzle would make sense in CASE she does actually bite a random dog.

but apart from that, she's always been very cruisey with heaps of dogs, on the street & beach (on lead), at friends places and also when people come to visit me, they often bring their dog for a 'play date' because she's never been a problem (off lead)... and she has played with next doors puppy before with no hitches ...

I can understand why she gets into fights with Scooby, but I can't understand why she started at the puppy.

Edited March 20, 2010 by rottidogspotty

[Ravyk]

Sorry to go back to this point.

PS. I forgot to ask the thoughts on the pool thing, like if scooby is scared of the water, or barks like mad, I don't think it's a great idea to force him in the water. but the bf thinks it will make scooby like it?

It will definitely not make him like it. It will actually have the opposite effect and probably cause some deep rooted phobias. Some dog do not like the water ever, others take to it like a fish.

I have a dog who is EXTREMELY water phobic. When I got him he was scared of any body of water bigger than a dog bowl, watering cans, hoses, taps, you name it. It took me three months of solid work just to be able to bathe him for the first time. Took about the same amount of time to get him to drink from the clam pool. We had some major set backs as OH's brother thought it was fun to spray him with the hose. We take him to the beach regularly. First time he freaked majorly, wouldn't go on anything but the really dry sand. Now 15 months on from getting him he will go into water up to about 10cm deep. We don't push him too much, but he will now retrieve tennis balls from water up to his chest [about 30cm deep] and we have carried him out into calm water and he's swum around a bit then headed back to shore. We use a lot of praise and rewards when he does do go into the water of his own accord.