Jump to content

Problems With The Bf's Dog


 Share

Recommended Posts

Hello All

I have a Rotti called Jess aged approx 8, that I adopted 2 years ago. My bf has a bitsa dog called Scooby that was given to him by a friend about 6 months ago, aged also 8.

These are my problems (keyword being ‘my’ as these don’t seem to be an issue for my bf lol)

- Scooby is allowed to get on the couch, and leaves dirt and sand all over there. It’s filthy and my bf expects me to sit in dirt and next to the dog that has FLEAS.

- Scooby lets himself inside the house whenever he wants, and leaves the door wide open and has damaged the flyer wire.

- Scoobs barks like a crazy barking dog when we are in the pool.

- He barks like a crazy dog when he wants something until the bf gives in.

- He sometimes starts fights with my dog Jess over food or toys ie. He’s not interested in a toy unless Jess has it.

- Scooby wakes us up several times throughout the night to go the toilet.

- If he gets let out and we don’t wait for him to come back in (like the third time and I’m dead tired) so I leave him outside he then barks like mad until he’s let back inside.

- He pees or poos in the spare room if the bf hasn’t let him outside.

- When scooby does listen to the bf, he just sneakily does what he wants after anyway.

I know some people on here probably let their dog sleep on the bed, but when I tried sleeping with the BF and Scooby, after two nights I simply REFUSED to sleep in the same bed as a dog because it was dirty and he’s takes up too much room. Keeping in mind, scooby isn’t a little well groomed shitzu etc. The other reason I think the dog shouldn't sleep on his bed, is because I think he feels he is our equal or leader and this is why he does what he wants.... PLEASE ADVISE YOUR THOUGHTS...

The pool issue, I’ve been using a ‘time out’ method. So if scooby doesn’t shut up, he goes in time out. This seems to work in conjunction with lots of praise eg. ‘good boy scooby, no barking scooby, it’s ok scooby’ etc etc when he’s not barking..... BUT THEN because my Jess loves the water and belly flops in and happily swims around, the BF chases Scooby around to ‘make’ him get in the water. I personally feel like Scoobs has a fear of us being in the water and he definitely doesn’t want to go in the water, so by the BF forcing him in there he’s just undoing that re-assuring that I’m trying to do and immediately after, starts barking like a nut job again. The barking is extremely irritating and makes time in the pool for me and other visitors unenjoyable. The bf doesn’t seem to get irritated at the barking. AGAIN YOUR THOUGHTS???

I personally think all of these problems can be easily overcome, if my bf would actually give Scooby some boundaries (and enforce them)..... I think dominance is the biggest issue here, but again please advise your thoughts...

Also if you can advise with Scooby waking us up t/out the night for peeing? Most nights it’s once. Other nights it’s up to 3 times. I always encourage him to go outside before we go to bed, but he doesn’t seem to want to go outside like he doesn’t need to go. My Jess holds it till morning, although once every blue moon she’ll wake me and needs to go out in through the night.

Thanks again for your help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To be quite frank, it sounds like the key issue here is that your boyfriends attitude to his dog is different to yours. I don't see the dog as being the problem at all.

Fleas can be treated. If the dog is dirty, wash him. A dog door can be installed if Scooby needs to go out during the night. Scooby can be taught to sleep in a basket by the bed.

Talk to your boyfriend. It's not the dog's fault. And it doesn't sound like dominance is the issue here but lack of training and boundaries.

Scooby is the product of your boyfriend's training/attitude. Treat the issues at the source.

Edited by poodlefan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

To be frank, it sounds like your problem is more with your BF than with the dog itself, although it does sound like you aren't too fond of Scooby. Treat the fleas, that's easy. Talk to your BF about house rules you can both agree on. Do some training with Scooby and give him clear boundaries you both communicate clearly. Implement a routine he can rely on. And ensure he gets enough exercise and socialisation.

Edited - sorry pf, must have posted a minute behind you.

Edited by Diva
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like you and your boyfriend has to sit down together and work out some kind of plan on how to deal with this problem. If you are unhappy with the situation, you have to talk to your boyfriend. Even if he doesn't think it's a big deal, still got to talk about it.

If you guys are living together, then it's both of your problem. It shouldn't be "His Dog" or "My Dog" situation. It's both of your dog.

Is he on any flea treatment? If he has fleas, then I advise you to give him flea treatment and fumigate your whole house, because the other dog might get fleas too.

Edited by charleswentworth
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you guys are living together, then it's both of your problem. It shouldn't be "His Dog" or "My Dog" situation. It's both of your dog.

Sorry to go off topic but I find this sentence absolutly HILARIOUS.... Im married and my OH and I still always use the words YOUR dog and MY dog. :) We got our kids 5 days apart while we were living together so technically they are both of OUR dogs....

Its funny thou cause when ever they are being naughty they are eith HIS dog or MY dog... Never OURS :mad Its always YOUR dog is doing that, MY dog never would do that, YOUR dog is the trouble maker... hehe...

Sorry :mad

By the way I agree that your BF needs to set boundaries. You will prob find that both dogs flourish with them, aswell as make you life easier.

Edited by Gilypoo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he needs to pee 3 times during the night he needs to see a vet. An adult dog should be able to hold it for the night.

How much exercise and training does Scooby get?

I have a dog who has never, in his entire life, got through the night without a pee. He may be able to hold it but I choose not to force the issue. He's never had a bladder infection. I know of dogs that are forced to hang on that have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you guys are living together, then it's both of your problem. It shouldn't be "His Dog" or "My Dog" situation. It's both of your dog.

Sorry to go off topic but I find this sentence absolutly HILARIOUS.... Im married and my OH and I still always use the words YOUR dog and MY dog. :) We got our kids 5 days apart while we were living together so technically they are both of OUR dogs....

Its funny thou cause when ever they are being naughty they are eith HIS dog or MY dog... Never OURS :mad Its always YOUR dog is doing that, MY dog never would do that, YOUR dog is the trouble maker... hehe...

Sorry :mad

By the way I agree that your BF needs to set boundaries. You will prob find that both dogs flourish with them, aswell as make you life easier.

:mad

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello All!

Thank you for your replies!

I do know as Diva points out, it sounds like I don't like Scooby, and I guess to be honest because of his behavior being allowed to carry on I think I am starting to resent him. But I don't want it to be like that. I feel as though Scooby has two attitudes.... a 'Good' attitude when it's just me, Scooby & Jess.... and a whole other 'I'll do as I please' attitude when it's me, Scooby, Jess AND the BF.... I know it's not Scooby (it's like kids right? you never have to look far to see why they behave the way they do? ... although I'm not a parent so I could be wrong lol)

Scoobs used to try to mount her like continuously when they first met... Jess would move, then growl, snap... until eventually they would just get in BIG fights over it... NOW, he doesn't try it with her.... but.... if both dogs are fixed, why was Scooby trying to mount her? .... Can they actually still do 'it' if they are fixed? :S

The reason why I mentioned dominance, is because even though he's shorter than Jess, he sometimes stand tall and tries to put his head over her head and he kind of tenses...?

My bf uses flea powder. I use the monthly revolution or advocate drops on Jess and for my cat...

Megan, I did actually think that was weird that he was peeing so much, and wondered if he should go to the vets... Jessy girl holds it overnight too... I think he gets walked ... once a week/ fortnight?

I guess my main problem is bringing this up again with my bf without sounding like I'm just being mean and picking on him and his dog..... :S

Link to comment
Share on other sites

PS. I forgot to ask the thoughts on the pool thing, like if scooby is scared of the water, or barks like mad, I don't think it's a great idea to force him in the water. but the bf thinks it will make scooby like it?

DEFINATLEY NOT....

Dont force the dog to do anything that it does feel comforatble about doing.. I had the same problem with my Great Dane.. She was so scared to get in the water and it would drive her crazy cause she couldnt get to us (hence all the barking).

Let Scooby set the pace with it. Try and make it fun for him and make him WANT to get in the water..I have found that my girls were ALOT more scared of the Pool then the Beach as they cant guage the depth etc. Have you tried him at the beach. Obviousley not one with huge waves, possible a dam or something along those line...

The key is to take it slow..

I hope everyone agrees with me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Gilly

We have tried them at the beach once. It was... 'ok'... the bf didn't let him off the lead (even though we were some distance from others)... I guess better to be safe than sorry if he tries to attack another dog....

Anyway... he did bark, but no where near as much... At first the bf dragged him in.... (which I didn't agree with)... he wasn't comfortable, but with Jess jumping straight in and having a merry ol time having a swim, he also then had a little swim too... but where he's feet still touched the ground...

Do you have a pool Gilly and if so, were you able to stop the GD's barking when you were in there? Or was it just the beach?

Thanks heaps for your help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The BF only walks the dog once a week- and uses flea powder? he needs to be made to sit and read thru D O L pages as his penance/education :mad

I have never found flea powder to work :)

as for walking- poor scooby- no wonder he is acting the way he is- he sounds very under stimulated and under exercised :mad

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First things first is he likely needs a bucket load more exercise and mental stimulation (I'm assuming he has minimal/no training sessions).

See if you can talk the BF out of flea powder and on to something better.

You need to set boundaries with your boyfriend, sit down and explain that you don't like Scooby on the bed and on the couch. His barking may cause issues with neighbours and you may get council knocking on your door. Install a doggy door if possible and next time he's at the vets mention the 3x a night stuff, better to be safe than sorry.

Two desexed dogs can't "do it", it's more behavioural. Dogs only mate to reproduce, if they are both fixed there is no longer the drive to mate, thus mounting each other is not about sex at all but more about dominance or habit.

Pushing him into the pool is very immature and stupid in my opinion when the dog doesn't like it, how does he feel about the dog? Does he like the dog? Pushing it into the pool if he is scared is like sticking the average person with needles, he hates it obviously. Pushing him in won't make him like it, more the opposite. If he loves his dog make this point clear - he is terrorising the poor thing by chucking him in the pool! If he doesn't seem to care maybe the dog needs to be rehomed with somone who does care.

You sound like a smart woman and are on the right track yourself but you need to get your boyfriend to change his habits for anything much to improve.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you have a pool Gilly and if so, were you able to stop the GD's barking when you were in there? Or was it just the beach?

Yes I also have a pool, We started her in the pool and she just wasnt having fun so thats when we started at the beach. Mailnly just to get her confidence up in the water, it can be a weird thing for a dog that isnt use to it.. It took us a fair while to convince her. We then took her back into the pool and SLOWLY gained her confidence, one step at a time literally...We would convince her to sit on the 1st step and praise her like mad for doing it then when she was comfy worked to the next step, then when she was ready she jumped into the shallow end and swum straight for us... She was fine aslong as she had contact with her... This in its self is very hard with a 70kilo dane :)

Now you cant keep her out of the water, she LOVES it....

The reversal has happened now and she wont stop barking and sooking until we let her in the pool area if we are having a swim..

Some dogs just DONT like water and your not going to change them. My Brothers m & m runs a mile when his water bowl gets filled :mad

Just tell you BF to be paitent with him and dont rush things

as for walking- poor scooby- no wonder he is acting the way he is- he sounds very under stimulated and under exercised :mad

I was wwondering about this aswell.... My girls would go crazy if they didnt get out at least 4 times a week.. Maybe you could make it a family outing and make sure you take it in turns of holding each dogs lead to maybe sort out any dominance things Scooby has with you while you are with your BF.. It sounds like he is trying to prove that he is better then you when you BF is around....

Sorry but your BF needs to pull his head in abit... Why was the dog given to him? Was it a rescue effort? Did you BF WANT the dog? Do you 2 permantley live together or just have sleep overs?

Sorry for the million questions. Just trying to get the full picture. :mad

Edited by Gilypoo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

a nightmare. just be thankful you do not have children. with 2 such differing attitudes, that would be a REAL disaster. :mad

Ah Monah you must have read my mind :)

As you have only been together for 3 months you are finding out each others values & attitudes so this is good what is happening with the dogs. In a weird sort of way.

Get out now girl this relationship is not going to work long term :mad

Unless of course you can totally retrain him. The boyfriend that is, not the dog. :mad

Thing is

Would you still like him if he were different ?

The boyfriend, not the dog ?

Give the dog a flea bath & treat your house & carpets. I would not stand for an animal with fleas in my home.

The rest is see how you go. Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...