Do You Have To Be Hard...

[Esky the husky]

The old ladies that "show" cakes. I still havn't decided if I will visit the fruit cake competition at the royal this year. I still have nightmares about the cake ladies from a few years back .

I know it's slightly off topic but i NEED to hear about the crazy cake ladies!

[SkySoaringMagpie]

The old ladies that "show" cakes. I still havn't decided if I will visit the fruit cake competition at the royal this year. I still have nightmares about the cake ladies from a few years back .

I know it's slightly off topic but i NEED to hear about the crazy cake ladies!

I think ABC did a documentary on them a little while ago. Cake competition is serious business!

Edit: Found it, it was called "Not All Tea and Scones" and wasn't just about the cake judging but about the CWA.

Edited March 8, 2010 by SkySoaringMagpie

[ellz]

I don't think you need to be "hard", being hard isn't a good thing in many facets of life....but you do need thick skin and most importantly, you need to be able to NOT take criticism personally and that can be a very hard for anybody who is human to do.

Learning to separate dog shows from reality is the key IMO. Yes, you can eat, live and breathe dog shows, but at the end of the day, they are a CHOICE you make. So therefore, you should be able to take what comes with them.

I've BEEN the gung-ho, drive hours to every show (like 10 hours to Melbourne Royal one year, sleep in the car, and then drive home again that afternoon), get depressed when there isn't a show, get agitated when you have entered a show and can't get there type of person and looking back, it wasn't much fun and I can really see the kind of person I let my "drive" turn me into.

Now, I've got a completely different attitude towards shows. They're MY time out. I know what I have on the end of my lead. I'm proud of what I have on the end of my lead. If the judge agrees, well and good, if they don't, there will be other judges. It matters little what other exhibitors think of what I have on the end of my lead because I am the one who has to feed them and look at them EVERY day!

My main "use" for shows is the social aspect. I'm part of a lovely group now. We all help each other during judging (and our own breeds span 4 groups) and then we all have a good laugh and occasionally a little bitch between ourselves when we're not in the ring. We take food and alcohol and settle in for the day and have a fabulous time. We celebrate the wins and fringies, and commiserate when none are forthcoming.

THAT is what shows are about for me now!

*gulp* Don't tell me I'm growing up!

[Esky the husky]

Thanks skysoaringmagpie. I'll go youtube it

People will compete over anything I guess

I think being 'hard' means you've got to be thick skinned and confident in yourself, even if the judge doesn't put you up

[brightonrock]

There are too many "hard" and "tough" characters in the Dog World.

I think you need to believe in what you are showing, work hard, know your standard, that way you should know your dog's weaknesses and strength and not let your EGO get caught up in it all.

I have seen some shocking tantrums over the years, and some really nasty behaviour. It is very, very rarely you see this with Junior Handlers who have the good sense to laugh off a loss and congratulate a win.

[whippets]

The old ladies that "show" cakes. I still havn't decided if I will visit the fruit cake competition at the royal this year. I still have nightmares about the cake ladies from a few years back .

I know it's slightly off topic but i NEED to hear about the crazy cake ladies!

I think ABC did a documentary on them a little while ago. Cake competition is serious business!

Edit: Found it, it was called "Not All Tea and Scones" and wasn't just about the cake judging but about the CWA.

I can't remember if it was at the Geelong Royal or Melbourne (probably Melbourne). Anyway there was a punch up between two white haired little sweet old ladies over their fruit cakes. I was mortified but couldn't help laughing at the same time. Does that make me evil? possibly.

[fifi]

Competition can bring out all sorts of ego driven behavour, my mother is on a beading forum......mostly little old ladies......one posted a photo of a beaded flower she had made in a thread to show off one's work, another responded that she had stolen her design......and it went from there to death threats, lawsuits, stalking and harrassment !!!

then you have the soccer parents !!!!

fifi

efs

Edited March 8, 2010 by fifi

[Florise]

Sparked by a sub-thread in the Congrats and Criticisms thread. I know I've heard people say of a newbie "they won't survive, not hard enough".

What do you think?

Also, what does "hard" mean in practice?

Are you referring to the other thread that you have running? If so, I could not see where anyone said you need to be hard. Someone said you do need to learn to not take things personally, which I agree with completely. You need a thick skin for sure, as some people who don't know you and have not laid hands on your dog can have big mouths they like to shoot off, but that does not mean you need to be a hard person, whatever that means.

[SparkyTansy]

I dont think you need to be "hard" to survive the show world... i think the best thing you can do is have an open mind...

[Faolmor]

I wonder whether if so many people weren't running around trying to be "hard" and "tough" in the show world, it might be a nicer place?

[SkySoaringMagpie]

Are you referring to the other thread that you have running?

Yep, I mentioned in the first post of this thread that this was a kick off from the sub-thread over there.

[merijigs]

I had a lovely enjoyable, social time showing my dogs for almost ten years - and then I got a dog which was competitive. Instead of hearing nastiness whirl around the ring without touching me, suddenly some of it was coming right at me. I somehow don't enjoy showing quite as much now. I find it hard to cope with the grief sent my way just because I'm something of a threat. I try to remember that I have a life outside of dogs and this renews my perspective.

[SkySoaringMagpie]

I had a lovely enjoyable, social time showing my dogs for almost ten years - and then I got a dog which was competitive. Instead of hearing nastiness whirl around the ring without touching me, suddenly some of it was coming right at me. I somehow don't enjoy showing quite as much now. I find it hard to cope with the grief sent my way just because I'm something of a threat. I try to remember that I have a life outside of dogs and this renews my perspective.

Someone said to me very early on that the sane people in dog world are the people who have a life outside of dogs. Bit of a generalisation but I think there is definitely some truth to it.

[BittyMooPeeb]

I wonder whether if so many people weren't running around trying to be "hard" and "tough" in the show world, it might be a nicer place?

[angelsophie]

I think I have been lucky as a newbie - I have had a lovely lady in my breed help me. And while she has been my most consistent "competition" she has also been great at congratulating me if I happened to win - first challenge my boy got she turned and congratulated me in the ring - she also made sure I got a piccy with our first class in group and organised it with the judge and stayed to make sure I got to the class in show lineup! She was and is an enourmous help in the ring! And yes trained me well - the days we have had bad days in the ring- her advice is strong in my head - one day a rooster next day a feather duster! She teaches me something new everytime we see her and is always great for a chat.

On top of that I was lucky to start at the same time as an awesome group of newbies. These guys rock and make me feel a little less useless on days when I clearly am. We all have a laugh but we also cheer for each other!

So my experience over the last 8 months has been really really positive! We dont get it right, both the dog and myself are very much still wearing L plates but we enjoy it. I have needed thick skin yet but I feel prepared for when the time comes and realistic in my expectations

And I agree DOL, the net, and show classes all make a huge difference. Especially for newbs like me whose breeders are in another state!

Bec

[poodlefan]

I wonder whether if so many people weren't running around trying to be "hard" and "tough" in the show world, it might be a nicer place?

As I said in my first post, there's a difference between not having feelings and not being able to deal with them.

Showing can be stressful and, at times, down right depressing. It is not a nice place when people turn those feelings outwards, complaining about everything and suggesting that people done them wrong.

A positive mental attitude makes you better company. I tend to stay well clear of those who live under little dark rain clouds of their own making, regardless of their experience in the ring. A sense of humour is a fine thing to possess.

I find how people lose in the ring far more revealing than how they win.

Edited March 8, 2010 by poodlefan

[Mandalay]

If you are lucky enough to have a person take you under their wing, they will protect you from all those who want to win at all costs and when they don't have some very nasty comments to say......Like one person who gets on the phone rindside and yells "We got beaten by a bunch of rubbish."

Now that is very pleasing for a newbie to hear don't you think ??

You do not have to be hard but maybe know who and what to ignore !!!!

I find the worst people have nothing else in their lives except dog shows every w/e and winning and when this doesn't happen their unsavory personality appears, but really they have unsavory personalities all the time

SAD very very SAD !!!!

So have to agree with you SSM, these nasty pigs need to get a life !!!!

[fifi]

I had a lovely enjoyable, social time showing my dogs for almost ten years - and then I got a dog which was competitive. Instead of hearing nastiness whirl around the ring without touching me, suddenly some of it was coming right at me. I somehow don't enjoy showing quite as much now. I find it hard to cope with the grief sent my way just because I'm something of a threat. I try to remember that I have a life outside of dogs and this renews my perspective.

Someone said to me very early on that the sane people in dog world are the people who have a life outside of dogs. Bit of a generalisation but I think there is definitely some truth to it.

I totally agree with this, I see the one's on their mobiles at ringside getting constant updates from other shows, sniping & bitching about every dog & handler in the ring, they phone & email constantly in between shows and network furiously !

You don't see them smile very often - they are deadly serious about their shows. and while I understand to be the best you have to be dedicated -

Some have very little to think about outside of dogs, and spend so much energy in verbal sabotage, gossip, criticism, plotting, ect.

Ive found these types to be the bad losers. Guess if its your entire existance, not winning would be devastating.

My passion is my breed and I enjoy some showing, especially our country shows with good friends.

But I have a rich life of interests outside of dogs as well, and find my closest show buddies are similar in outlook.

fifi

[BittyMooPeeb]

I wonder whether if so many people weren't running around trying to be "hard" and "tough" in the show world, it might be a nicer place?

As I said in my first post, there's a difference between not having feelings and not being able to deal with them.

Showing can be stressful and, at times, down right depressing. It is not a nice place when people turn those feelings outwards, complaining about everything and suggesting that people done them wrong.

A positive mental attitude makes you better company. I tend to stay well clear of those who live under little dark rain clouds of their own making, regardless of their experience in the ring. A sense of humour is a fine thing to possess.

I find how people lose in the ring far more revealing than how they win.

Isn't this the same in many aspects of life though? We compete for jobs and compete in sports. Anyone who has bought a lotto ticket knows that not everyone can win. It seems to me that the more badly behaved people are in a certain area, the more claims there are that you have to be 'tough' to belong in that group. I have an aversion to this theory because it is used to exclude people from roles. We often hear, for example, that women are not suited to Parliament and to CEO type roles because they are not 'tough enough'.

I'm certainly not tough, and I don't want to have to be tough to show dogs and do other things I enjoy doing. I feel that I can be realistic, competitive and well behaved without being tough. I think there is a difference too in coping with the normal competitive nature of showing, which will result in perceived criticism of your dog (unless you win all of the time), and coping with the 'extras' that currently come with showing such as rude comments by other exhibitors. I don't think you have to be tough to cope with the former, and I don't want to have to be tough to cope with the latter - I would prefer that it didn't happen

[poodlefan]

I'm certainly not tough, and I don't want to have to be tough to show dogs and do other things I enjoy doing. I feel that I can be realistic, competitive and well behaved without being tough. I think there is a difference too in coping with the normal competitive nature of showing, which will result in perceived criticism of your dog (unless you win all of the time), and coping with the 'extras' that currently come with showing such as rude comments by other exhibitors. I don't think you have to be tough to cope with the former, and I don't want to have to be tough to cope with the latter - I would prefer that it didn't happen

What you prefer to happen and what does are different BMP. Competition brings out the best in some folk and the worst in others. If people cannot rationalise that without concluding that it's a conspiracy to drive them from the show ring (as a few do) then they probably won't last and they certainly won't enjoy it.

I think it takes stamina and resolve to stick at dog sports, especially when its not going well. That's what I mean when I say "tough".