archieboy Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 O.K... for anyone out there who reads the puppy training tips and needs a laugh . O.K. Archie your all well now and you need to learn a few things mate . First off this biting and chewing , it's not cool dude . I have read all the good oil and I am now going to sort out that golden retreiver brain for you . Day 1 . Hey fella , you are biting on my arm !..prepare to be sorted by a much higher intelligence form . A loud strong NO !! ....... "Hmmm dad that ain't going to cut it ...I like biting your arm " Day 5 . Arm now looks like it has been working on the lawnmower blades ..while it was running . Loud No is not cutting the mustard . Right I am man I can do this ...you are a golden retreiver Archie ... and I am the boss . I will move to the gripping your face and shake a little and say my NO right at you . Day 10 . Have remembered now to be further away than a few inches when gripping Archies face and saying NO when biting . That way my bottom lip will have time to heal from when he launches in my mid command . Day 15 . Have now moved on to pushing said lesser brain powered species onto his back and really saying NO ....Like I mean it ....like I am crazy dad Archie ... mess with me and you will get the horns .... " Archie thinks for a moment and then decides if he gets the horns he will bite one of them ". Day 17 . Time out has been introduced . Everytime bite ..outside you go Archie for either a few minutes or half hour if your not learning ...... I will have to replace door soon as it is worn out from being opened and shut . Archie seems to like time out ???? Day 20 . Right am off to get my rifle ... not going to kill young mate Archie .... but maybe just wing him so he will know dear old dad means buisiness about this biting . Day 21 . Archie ...this is bulldust mate , stop biting ....NO!!!! ....... Hang on ? ... he stopped !... what the hell ?. Day 25 . Come on Arch ..you can bite me the once for old time sake if you like . You haven't bitten me in 5 days ?... So this really does work !.. It just takes a huge comittment and it ain't easy . Now to work on the chewing ........... " Hey Archie dude !...is that my bookcase you are gnawing on mate ?.. but what about the 20 teething toys I bought for you that all guarranteed you would love ?...... my books feel better on your gums huh ?...... better get back to this training stuff folks ...this should only take a few minutes ......or not . P.S. in between said biting ( ex biting ) and chewing of everything ....we are having a lot of fun . Just one for the mere mortals out there ( like me ) who read the training stuff and then feel like they must be a loser cos it isn't working for them . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumsy Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 oh my god....we are living parallel lives!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jconlon Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 oh my god....we are living parallel lives!!! this story cheered me up no end have tears running down my face we are going through this phase too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatTyeGuy Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 omg me and my brother just laughed so hard...just wing it with the rifle...tops..i only have access to a 30-06, may be a big friggin wing lol. we have a little pup and its like that...i had a friend tell me i should be more careful around knives with all the cuts on my arm...it seems whenever we try to hold him down/grab mouth he just bites harder next time...timeout will now be employed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_Ollie Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 So true... cheers Archie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Ruby Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 I can so relate to this!! My hubby has started saying "God, her tail is wagging...what has she done wrong or destroyed now?"....the joys of a puppy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darlingdog Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 O.K... for anyone out there who reads the puppy training tips and needs a laugh .O.K. Archie your all well now and you need to learn a few things mate . First off this biting and chewing , it's not cool dude . I have read all the good oil and I am now going to sort out that golden retreiver brain for you . Day 1 . Hey fella , you are biting on my arm !..prepare to be sorted by a much higher intelligence form . A loud strong NO !! ....... "Hmmm dad that ain't going to cut it ...I like biting your arm " Day 5 . Arm now looks like it has been working on the lawnmower blades ..while it was running . Loud No is not cutting the mustard . Right I am man I can do this ...you are a golden retreiver Archie ... and I am the boss . I will move to the gripping your face and shake a little and say my NO right at you . Day 10 . Have remembered now to be further away than a few inches when gripping Archies face and saying NO when biting . That way my bottom lip will have time to heal from when he launches in my mid command . Day 15 . Have now moved on to pushing said lesser brain powered species onto his back and really saying NO ....Like I mean it ....like I am crazy dad Archie ... mess with me and you will get the horns .... " Archie thinks for a moment and then decides if he gets the horns he will bite one of them ". Day 17 . Time out has been introduced . Everytime bite ..outside you go Archie for either a few minutes or half hour if your not learning ...... I will have to replace door soon as it is worn out from being opened and shut . Archie seems to like time out ???? Day 20 . Right am off to get my rifle ... not going to kill young mate Archie .... but maybe just wing him so he will know dear old dad means buisiness about this biting . Day 21 . Archie ...this is bulldust mate , stop biting ....NO!!!! ....... Hang on ? ... he stopped !... what the hell ?. Day 25 . Come on Arch ..you can bite me the once for old time sake if you like . You haven't bitten me in 5 days ?... So this really does work !.. It just takes a huge comittment and it ain't easy . Now to work on the chewing ........... " Hey Archie dude !...is that my bookcase you are gnawing on mate ?.. but what about the 20 teething toys I bought for you that all guarranteed you would love ?...... my books feel better on your gums huh ?...... better get back to this training stuff folks ...this should only take a few minutes ......or not . P.S. in between said biting ( ex biting ) and chewing of everything ....we are having a lot of fun . Just one for the mere mortals out there ( like me ) who read the training stuff and then feel like they must be a loser cos it isn't working for them . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jodi1981 Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 I can so relate to this!! My hubby has started saying "God, her tail is wagging...what has she done wrong or destroyed now?"....the joys of a puppy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elsa Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 (edited) Oh dear! I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face. And am still laughing. Another Marley on the way huh? hahahahaha Red Ruby's comment send me into more gales of laughter. I had to copy that and send to some of my doggie friends. That is the best thing I have seen for ages. Keep it up please. I am keen to hear how the chewing and digging goes hahahahahaha Edited March 9, 2010 by elsa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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