Our Little Keysha Died On The 16th February 2010

[kbrown]

This has taken me a while to be able to write up. I feel she deserves a place here but it's extremely hard for me to write it up.

Our little Keysh had a rough start to life. She had previously lived with two families who just didn't know how to love a cat and would lock her up in the laundry and just shut the door. She had pysch problems because of this and was never quite right. She was always very nervous, she only liked to be patted on her terms otherwise she would bite you. She would wee and pooh all over the house and had to have a special diet. We had her for over 4 and a 1/2 years. We tried to tell her things were ok and let her know she was loved.

On Monday the 15th February we were getting worried about Keysh. She was very quiet and hiding under our bed. She wasn't eating or drinking and we didn't see her go to the toilet for a couple of days. We decided it was time to get her out to have a look and that's when we found a lump on the back of her spine. We didn't think it was an abscess but we weren't sure. We watched her over night.

The next morning I rang the vet once I got to work and they said to get her there straight away. I left work went home to pick her up and took her to the vet. This is where I wish I had done things completely differently. Being a school teacher I was worried about the students in my class and not wanting to be a burden on the other teacher who took them, I left Keysh at the vet to examine when he had time. I told them all the symptoms etc and said please do whatever you need. I said I would call them in a couple of hours.

I had just gotten back to work and back on class and then the phone rang. She had died. My heart stopped and I had so many questions why.... this wasn't suppose to happen. The vet said he thought it was an abscess and wanted my permission to look further to see what had caused her to die on the operating table. He said when he looked further he noticed she had a punctured lung and all that was in the lump was air. Her blood was so watery and not clotting. He said it looked like she had been either hit by a car, hit by a slug gun or eaten rat poison or something.

I said to the vet that she was an inside cat and in a cat run when outside and how could this happen. He couldn't believe that she was. To this day I still don't know what happened to our Keysha and cry myself to sleep most nights. She was to turn 5 in June and this was all just a shock. I so wish I did things differently and didn't put my work before my loved furry kids. I have now realised that no matter what my family comes first. I will now live with this guilt for the rest of my life.

I am so sorry Keysh. I should have known something was wrong. I should have taken you up to the vet sooner. I thought keeping you inside would keep you safe. I am so sorry darling. I hope you have finally found your peace and are running free. You will always be in our hearts and we love you so much. I wish I was with you to let you know that. I am so sorry.

[harley]

Poor kitty, but at least she is not suffering now. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You took her to the vet, you were doing what you thought was best at the time.

[Cheyd]

So very sorry for your loss Kbrown and RIP Keysh

Its so hard when we invest so much love in our animals to lose them especially unexpected. I played the "what if" game when I have lost all my babies and all I can say is you did your best, Keysh knows that and loved you for it. We make decisions based on the information we have at the time, hindsight is always perfect.

Take comfort in the 4 1/2 years you had together and YOU DID MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO KEYSH thats all that matters really

Thank you for rescuing Keysh and for the love you gave her

[Kirty]

Oh no, I am so sorry. Please don't blame yourself, you did the best you could. She might have had a big fall perhaps? She is not in pain anymore and will never have to feel worried or scared again. RIP special little girl, watch over your mummy. xxx

[Sharna3]

kbrown,

So sorry for your loss.... you gave her a wonderful home and loved Keysh and that is amazing. I am sure she loved you and was grateful to you, you did the best for her.

[Laika]

Oh I am so so sorry for you. Please whatever you do don't bash yourself up about it. You can only make decisions based upon what you see at the time and animals often have a very good way of masking certain health problems. If the vet or vet nurses thought it was something major then they would have notified you before you had gone but clearly the symptoms were not that obvious.

I took a little 6 week old kitten to the vet Thursday week ago. She had gone off her food the day before but mid-afternoon came over after I gave her some a/d to tempt her. She had eaten a little bit but thought I would take her to the vet for advice and a general checkover. The vet said what I had been doing was right but she would give her some fluids. My daughter and I grabbed something to eat on the way home and then once home got some more food out for her too force feed her to make sure she had eaten something. When I got the kitten out of the crate she had gone all floppy and was dying. I immediately called the vet and went straight up but she was on her way out so was PTS. The vet was just shaking her head too. I was just so upset as she was the most gorgeous little silver tabby with the biggest eyes. Just goes to show how quickly they go downhill and many times we just don't know why.

I know your girl was older but how would you have been able to tell? I am sure she wasn't that bad otherwise you would have waited at the vet or the staff would have noticed something when you dropped her off. You gave her the best chance she had to life when no one else was there for her. At least she got to experience love in her life even though it was short.

Big hugs ... I know it must be hard x

[mita]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Keysha sounds as lovely as her name. I agree with the others.....don't blame yourself. In reading the story, I wouldn't have known to do anything different, either.

She was a lucky little lady that she had her last times with you, after a very harsh life before. She went to her rest a much, much loved puss. Which is the best we can give to any of our pets.

Play free, Keysha.

[~Anne~]

Sorry kbrown. RIP Keysha.

[kbrown]

Laika so sorry to hear of the poor little kitten. That's so unfair. At least my Keysh had some years of running around etc.

What annoys me is the vet nurse didn't look at Keysh. She went by everything I said and passed it on to the vet. She said do you want to leave her and I thought ok I will so then I can get back to my class. That was it. I just said do what is needed. Not once did we really think it was that serious that she would die then and there.

[persephone]

So Sorry.

[Jed]

Keysha, now playing over the Rainbow Bridge.

kbrown, don't beat yourself up. Even if you had been there, I think the outcome would have been the same. The vet didn't just go on what you said to the receptionist, he did examine her, and did what was best for her - it was her time. And even if you had taken her earlier, I don't think anything much would have happened .... sometimes nothing helps.

Something like this happened to me years ago - I felt very bad about it -but after a while, I could see that what I did made no difference. I just needed some distance, and the absence of grief to see the truth, and to be free of the guilt.

It's shocking when you expect something minor which turns out to be major and you unexepctedly lose a beloved pet.

Be kind to yourself, you did your best for her her whole life, and you did your best at the end too - and your best WAS good enough. Keysha knows that.

[Golden Rules]

Big for you, you gave Keysh a wonderful life after a rough start. She will always be with you.

RIP Keysh.