poodlefan Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 (edited) Deleted - double post Edited February 15, 2010 by poodlefan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 (edited) I totally agree with Erny here. I had the same issue with Sasha. When she first came to us, she was afraid of everything... trees moving, lights reflecting, noises, movements, clouds, wind, all the inside appliances, people etc. It was very stressful, and I was very sad for her. I spent hours desensitising her. And mostly, it worked. One problem I got stuck with was getting her to walk past the shops. There was too much activity, people, shopping trolleys, noise and lights for her liking. We'd get about 100m from it and she'd freeze up and try to pull out and run. I saw a trainer/behaviourist who advised me that it was most likely my own reactions that was making her do this. I thought PFFFFT, can't be me. BUT, I followed his advice... and she walked past. She wasn't confident and wasn't thrilled about it, but she did it without hesitation. The only difference - was my attitude and leadership. Instead of getting nervous, stopping, starting, and pre-empting what she was going to do... I walked confidently, eyes ahead and focussed on what we had to do, if she started to slow down I would keep walking determinedly and say 'come' and I made no reaction... I acted as if we were going to walk through successfully, and we did. After that, it all fell into place. She still to this day doesn't like it, but if I ask her to walk past the shops she will do it without a fuss. Not sure what technique is best… but with Sasha, I encouraged her to be curious and only looked at one fear at a time (so as not to inundate her). For example, she was terrified of the washing machine. So, I sat near it and called her to me. She wouldn't come near it of course… so I sat there next to it for a couple of hours and every now and then called her to me. She came closer and closer (of her own accord of course, no pressure), until she reached me. I had to be careful not to make any sudden moves or noises… and I would touch the washing machine, open the lid gently, close it etc… all done very gradually over time… and if she stayed there and tolerated it, I would praise her (not a big fuss, just a 'good girl'). Now, she can walk past it without giving it a second glance. For things outside etc, I would do it myself instead of leaving things to happen naturally. Ie, I would get a plastic bag, or a bottle etc and play with it with her/near her, roll it, toss it to show her it wasn't going to hurt. Of course, we were lucky that some things she naturally acclimatised to herself (for example the trees blowing etc). We still have an issue with her if she sees people's heads over the fence, and with strangers outside our home, and the vet… but we work on it slowly. I found that getting frustrated and stressed (which is natural) wasn't helping at all. So now, I try to understand – I always remain patient, and strong, and consistent. Some things took ages for Sasha to desensitise too, and took a lot of time and resilience, and she may never be 100% okay with everything… but we are now at a manageable stage, where she will tolerate most of the things that used to scare her. One mistake I made too, is that I assumed the things that she would be afraid of… and babied her or avoided them. I saw one trainer who forced me to stop doing that… and you know what, Sasha was fine. They certainly do base some of their reactions on the way we act, react etc and the difference the change can make is massive. I did a lot of Sasha's desensitisation myself, just at home using my own initiative and a lot of patience… but for the things that we couldn't get past, getting the advice of a professional was priceless – because I didn't want to make it worse. It boosted Sasha's confidence and showed me my own weaknesses (because I didn't recognise them myself). The information that I gained from seeing a professional really helped Sasha to become the fairly well adjusted dog that she is today, as well as the many hours I spent gently encouraging her to confront the things that frightened her with me there, and then without me… and honestly, people don't recognise her as the same dog anymore J Once you find the key to what will work for your girl, and implement it, the rest will just flow. Good luck. Edited February 15, 2010 by Kelly_Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Fearful dogs can be very frustrating but helping them build confidence is one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do with a dog. Couldn't have said it better myself... conquering Sasha's fears alongside her, and seeing her smile so proudly at her achievements is an amazing feeling - makes all the blood, sweat and tears worth it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullyfan Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Just thinking out loud, has your girl been desexed? I have a couple of bully girls that are fantastic, until they become hormonal... Then it's as if the sky is going to come crashing down. Bulldogs are a very sensitive breed and pick up on your emotions (as with all dogs). I hope you get it sorted, quickly. Also does she have any "stable" canine companionship she can learn off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) Fearful dogs can be very frustrating but helping them build confidence is one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do with a dog. Couldn't have said it better myself... conquering Sasha's fears alongside her, and seeing her smile so proudly at her achievements is an amazing feeling - makes all the blood, sweat and tears worth it My Lily went from a dog that would run away during training to the "safety" of my backpack by the fence to a dog that would blow off my cues to do the tunnels it took six months of gentle coaxing to get her through at all. I have to confess I really didn't mind that much when she did it. She was no agility star but got her JDX title before retiring. She won "Most Improved Dog" one year at my dog club - an award I am very proud to have won. Edited February 16, 2010 by poodlefan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirst_goldens Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 ETA: KG - thanks for the recognition, but honestly, advising over the internet for behaviours as extreme as what's being described isn't necessarily going to result in smiles all round. I have no 'feel' for this dog because I haven't met him. I want to be able to advise on a desensitisation program, but where would I begin when I don't know the dog and whether my first suggestion should actually be "step 10" down the list. If I moved to far too fast, I chance making things worse. Isn't Aidan in Tassie? Sorry i meant u could give something to try in the mean time until she could find someone to help or u could reccomend someone...like aiden!! sounds like he is onboard so fingers crossed for the little girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Fearful dogs can be very frustrating but helping them build confidence is one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do with a dog. Couldn't have said it better myself... conquering Sasha's fears alongside her, and seeing her smile so proudly at her achievements is an amazing feeling - makes all the blood, sweat and tears worth it My Lily went from a dog that would run away during training to the "safety" of my backpack by the fence to a dog that would blow off my cues to do the tunnels it took six months of gentle coaxing to get her through at all. I have to confess I really didn't mind that much when she did it. She was no agility star but got her JDX title before retiring. ;) She won "Most Improved Dog" one year at my dog club - an award I am very proud to have won. That's a phenomenal achievement! It takes time and alot of patience, but it does happen gradually. My proudest moments are when people are astounded at how Sasha has changed from the dog they once knew, their disbelief and wonder is actually the biggest compliment I could get - as there were many doubters who thought she would not change or become a relaxed dog :D When she is used as an 'example' in our training group, to show what commitment can do, and used to welcome and show other dogs what they should be doing... well, I'm just proud as punch The girl who once would not even walk past a group of people, now is the welcoming committee for all newcomers to our group. And it's not a big deal, really, but to us - it's all a massive achievement because we know where she's come from and what it's taken to get her here. So while I fully sympathise with OP, hang in there... with the right help you will hopefully see amazing changes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOVE GSD'S Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Yeah I know. I try really hard. Its just such a terrible situation to be in. I want her to enjoy being a dog and I want her to find things exciting not terrifying. More to it than this, but I find it helpful to take on the "you're a silly billy" attitude with dogs that have these behaviour issues. Sometimes WE want things for our dogs SO much that it actually makes things worse. Relax. What is, is. I'm not saying don't try to seek help from a trainer/behaviourist, but I'm saying stop stressing so intensely for how much YOU want for her. Once you've seen a good trainer/behaviourist, you'll be able to adopt the attitude of "oh well, I KNOW I'm doing the best I can ..... the rest is up to you, dog". This will help you begin to relax about how much you WANT for your dog, and just concentrate on showing her another way . sort of of Erny said, but I would say 'silly duffer' My darling old golden Sam was exactly like this when I got him at 8 months after he had been returned to the breeder. He had only been with his owners 4 months but in that time, God only knows what happened. He was afraid of all things, but not other dogs, so I got him a small companion, and this helped. But mostly it was just patience, and not expecting anything of him. I would sit with him for hours, inside and in the yard, down the foreshore, at the beach. When he got a fright I mostly ignored it, but was there for him to be near if he needed to be comforted. He never lost his sensitivity, but slowly over time became a confident and loving dog, a wonderful companion, always on guard for me, but in a gentlemanly way. He accepted pats but not too much attention, from strangers, neverf totally trusting other people. He never became the typically friendly-to-all golden we expect, but he did live a long and lovely life, until I had to have him pts last year. Stay with this dog, time and patience will win out and be so worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 My darling old golden Sam was exactly like this when I got him at 8 months after he had been returned to the breeder. He had only been with his owners 4 months but in that time, God only knows what happened. My goldie was similar when young, but nothing happened to him. He was just born that way, then he became one of the most sensible, stable dogs you could hope to meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 My goldie was similar when young, but nothing happened to him. He was just born that way, then he became one of the most sensible, stable dogs you could hope to meet. Ahhhhh... sensible and stable... just a dream for us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
espinay2 Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Yeah I know. I try really hard. Its just such a terrible situation to be in. I want her to enjoy being a dog and I want her to find things exciting not terrifying. More to it than this, but I find it helpful to take on the "you're a silly billy" attitude with dogs that have these behaviour issues. Sometimes WE want things for our dogs SO much that it actually makes things worse. Relax. What is, is. I'm not saying don't try to seek help from a trainer/behaviourist, but I'm saying stop stressing so intensely for how much YOU want for her. Once you've seen a good trainer/behaviourist, you'll be able to adopt the attitude of "oh well, I KNOW I'm doing the best I can ..... the rest is up to you, dog". This will help you begin to relax about how much you WANT for your dog, and just concentrate on showing her another way . Agree totally with the above. 15 months is also classic 'fear period' and many dogs go through this. I have had a couple who have - one was terrified of the 'bogey men' that she knew must hide in the stormwater drains in the street and was terrified of going past them. Yes, she got over it and was a dog that would do or go anywhere without issue for the rest of her life. Taking a relaxed 'oh you silly thing, there is nothing to worry about' attitude can be very important. If you are stressed, then in their eyes their MUST be a reason for their fears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaz Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 Thanks everyone. Aidan has PM'd me and I will show all of this to my Hubby and we will get in touch with him. I'm encouraged by the fact that we arent alone and that there is hope :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly_Louise Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 :rolleyes: Yep, there's always hope... just take it one step at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and stressed Best of luck - hopefully you will come back and share your progress with us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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