pinkpuppy Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Looking for some advice out there for anyone who has experienced the same thing. My partner and I have been together for about 5 years, but lived together for 1 year. I have now relised, probably abit too late that I'm just not happy with him. Once he was everything i wanted, but for the last year i have been really depressed living with him and even told him that i hated him in the heat of the moment. I want to move out, and ive told him how i feel, and he says, well you have obviously made your mind up so go. Problem is the new puppy we just brought...one very special show puppy that cost us an arm and a leg. I really want her, but he says he does. Mum thinks i should just take off and take her with me, but then i feel bad...I dont know what to do. He isnt going to even be able to afford to keep her or even have somewhere to put her...i know I will be able to look after her better than he does. Any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemymutts Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Looking for some advice out there for anyone who has experienced the same thing.My partner and I have been together for about 5 years, but lived together for 1 year. I have now relised, probably abit too late that I'm just not happy with him. Once he was everything i wanted, but for the last year i have been really depressed living with him and even told him that i hated him in the heat of the moment. I want to move out, and ive told him how i feel, and he says, well you have obviously made your mind up so go. Problem is the new puppy we just brought...one very special show puppy that cost us an arm and a leg. I really want her, but he says he does. Mum thinks i should just take off and take her with me, but then i feel bad...I dont know what to do. He isnt going to even be able to afford to keep her or even have somewhere to put her...i know I will be able to look after her better than he does. Any advice? If you feel you would be able to better care for her then I would do what's in the puppys best interest as well as your own, you obviously have to look after yourself also. Not that helpful but if it was me & I felt I could better care for the dog then I would take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Sorry you have this break up happening- but it sounds the 'right' way for you to go. re: the pup.Here are some things to ponder, as you make your decisions Who paid the majority of the purchase price? In whose name is it registered/microchipped? Who has the house/yard? Who will/would have been handling/showing said pup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Whose name are the papers in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpuppy Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) Who paid the majority of the purchase price? Me In whose name is it registered/microchipped? Registered in both, microchipped in mine Who has the house/yard? Me, I will be moving back to my parents house and they have a nice big yard....he isnt going to be able to afford rent by himself unless he gets a unit or something similar. Who will/would have been handling/showing said pup? Professional handler Edited January 27, 2010 by pinkpuppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Hmm.. sounds as if you have the majority vote so far;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpuppy Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 ..sometimes I wonder if I should just stay with him, so we dont have this problem over the dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W Sibs Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 sorry about the break up.. but i wouldn't stay with someone you aren't happy with for a dog! If you can give the dog a better life, you take it. If the dog is in your name, it's legally yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess live die Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 maybe you could take her and he could come visit her sorry not much help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissindra Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 get together and write a list of pros/cons to each of you having the dog, go with whichever of you is in the dogs best interest as is and make sure you don't include anything aspirational eg: even though I usually never take the dog for a walk I'll start doing it/I'll say I'll get someone in to walk the dog but really can't afford to. Keep it simple and honest. if it came down to neither of you being able to agree the fact that you've paid the majority and pup is microchipped in your name would likely swing things in your favour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shestolemyheart Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Hi Pinkpuppy, So sorry to hear what's going on. My friend had a similar situation, she ended up leaving without the dog, he had the most points, like Persephone said. It was sad, like two breakups in one, but she got past it, you know? If you do end up leaving with the pup, which seems likely to me, don't guilt yourself into your own hell - That's my point, sorry it took me a while. He will eventually move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hortfurball Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Like Persephone and Kissindra said, it's all about what's best for the dog. Bearing in mind that legally, the dog is only regarded as property, so if things get silly and you have to go to magistrates court, the dog's best interests will not be considered, only whose name is on the receipt for the dog. It will also be expensive to have to resort to that. In order to avoid that silliness, you guys need to sit down and have an amicable discussion. I like Kissindra's idea. Definitely don't stay in an unhappy relationship for the dog! Especially as you've now laid your cards on the table and he knows how you feel. Don't know if it's any help, but a friend of mine was in a similar situation recently, I started a thread here on DOL and there are some good responses... http://www.dolforums.com.au/index.php?show...180626&st=0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staffyluv Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Please don't just up and take the dog as your mother suggested - think of how you would feel if he did that to you... Perhaps offer to buy his share from him as you are both the registered owners and put to him that you believe that you can give the dog the better home with the yard and cost to raise the pup etc... You may end up needing someone to mediate the situation if you can't reach a decision together... Most of all stay calm about it all, I know it can be an emotional drain but try to stay calm for everyone, including the pup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Fox Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 sorry about the break up.. but i wouldn't stay with someone you aren't happy with for a dog!If you can give the dog a better life, you take it. If the dog is in your name, it's legally yours. Exactly. The dog is chipped in your name. What will happen if you leave the pup there and your partner cant pay his rent? How will he look after a dog as well? Have you spoken to your partner about this? If so is he dead set on keeping the dog? What about the breeder? They may be able to take the pup back while things get sorted. If the dog is being shown there is a lot of work to put in there too - grooming, show training, diet etc. The dog should go with whoever can provide it with the best care. If you can't agree with your partner on this then get some legal advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FranVT Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I am really sorry to hear this, I'm going through a breakup at the moment as well and although leaving my beautiful boy will be intensely heartbreaking I am glad that my partner and I won't be fighting over him. Ex bought him, pays his vet bills, goes halfsies with the food (I have a puppy too), is registered in ex's name and chipped as well so there's no argument - I wouldn't dream of it - but my ex will give him a great, stable home so I have no qualms about that either. I'm afraid I'm no help at all except to agree with everyone saying that it has to be about the best interests of the dog - do you think your ex will be able to see that logically or is he too upset right now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Danni Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Pinkpuppy, you really need to get him to sign your puppy over to you by signing the Canine Control registration papers. For the Canine Controls, they dont care at all whose name the dog is chipped in, they wont even honour a court order about who owns the dog, your partner will have to sign her over to you. Otherwise, when you come to breed her or get her titles and you need to sign something, both of you will need to sign everything and you can just imagine what that will be like in 6 months time if the breakup is not amicable. He will be able to hamstring your puppy's breeding career if he feels like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Fox Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Pinkpuppy, you really need to get him to sign your puppy over to you by signing the Canine Control registration papers. For the Canine Controls, they dont care at all whose name the dog is chipped in, they wont even honour a court order about who owns the dog, your partner will have to sign her over to you.Otherwise, when you come to breed her or get her titles and you need to sign something, both of you will need to sign everything and you can just imagine what that will be like in 6 months time if the breakup is not amicable. He will be able to hamstring your puppy's breeding career if he feels like it. Yes, that's true on the breeding/show side of things. BUT in the laws eye's isn't the microchip the be all and end all? I'm sure there has been a thread here about it before.... If the partner will willingly sign over the dog that WILL make things much easier though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asari Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I have been right were you are now and all i can say is keep calm smile even if you dont feel like it and try to avoid a argument over the subject and try and talk it over. Only with me it was a husband of 16 years and 4 dogs and it got very ugly ending with the dogs written into the divorce contract. In the end i got the dogs but i lost my prefix had to have them desexed and no showng for 10 years . What i didnt realize at the time was the wording in the contract ment by law that was any dog not just the ones that we all ready had . Goodluck and i hope it all works out the way you would like and remember to paste on the smile when needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ventris Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 If the dog is joint owned then the best thing to do is the person who is keeping the dog pays the other person 1/2 of the purchase price. that way there will be no fighting & as he wont be able to rent a house on his own then he wont have the money to pay you out therefore you just need to come up with some cash then you & dog are out of there. Now I know you paid most of the money for the dog but you sound like you need to leave & you will have the best home for the dog so put this suggestion to him. If he is broke & your offering a fist full of 50's I know what most blokes will do & that is take the cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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