I Want My Dog Back

[bl0nd3y]

I need a place to express my feelings.... its 1am and once again, i find myself alone, curled in a ball in the middle of the hall way, as i try to cry my pain away. I cant help the tears, and how much i ache for my dog.

It may seem stupid to some, but my dog was my best friend- shes my life partner, my family, my everything. We were evan homeless together at one point and we never left each other. I would put her life before my own. On the afternoon of december 13th 2009 some heartless piece of shit stole my baby from the front gate of our home.

No one had seen anything that day, as i toured the neighbourhood knocking on doors with a photo.

A week went by and i started to panic- i had been to every Pound from Joondalup to Bunbury in search for my girl. I placed reward signs out, in which the very next day would be removed. I would walk the streets until 5am calling her name. I do this at night incase she barks- night time is quieter and i can hear more clearly. 2-3 weeks went by, and since i recently quiet my job due to stress and depression, i had alot of time on my hands- time i dedicated to finding my baby. I became so desperate i grabbed a torch and would search areas people had alerted me to, and would search for paw prints....tiny paw prints....in hopes my girl wasnt far.

Im starting to feel insain, i consulted with a psychic who informed me my kahlua was picked up, and put into a car, in which she was going to be a christmas pressie. An unwanted Xmas pressie and would wind up at the pounds- shortly after Xmas (not weeks).... Sadly it has been weeks- and still no sign...

I cant sleep, all i can do is eat, eat my pain away, but its not helping. Especially as i suffer an eating disorder, the dog was my rock, and my ball to recovery, she helped me ground myself. She never judged me, and she loved me as much as i love her. I dont want her back....I NEED her back. shes the reason i decided to live when i had suicidal thoughts, she kept me sain....without her my life isnt much. I thought getting a new dog would help ease the pain- but i feel guilty, and as much as i would love the company, i want my best friend back- you cant replace your best friend....

Im balling my eyes out as i write this, I dont know how to describe the pain im in. I cant beleive someone would steal a dog- how god damm low. I hope karma hurts them bad...Better yet im sooo damm angry at the pain they have caused, i hope they go to hell!! ...

I feel as though i should knock on every door in perth to find her...all those with such a strong bond with their dog would understand.

Sorry to blabber on, but im so hurt, and i live on my own as my partner works away- so im lonley, hurt, and emotionally distraught.

[gillybob]

Why are you asking for another one in another thread?

[Ellie]

I'm sorry to hear about your girl. Maybe you're not ready for another dog just yet?

[sas]

I'm confused!

You posted this and don't seem so down about things there: http://www.dolforums.com.au/index.php?act=...sult_type=posts

I suggest you see your GP for a referral to a Councillor if you're finding things very difficult at the moment, you may look at having yourself scheduled especially seeing as you have mentioned killing yourself.

Edited January 12, 2010 by sas

[Zug Zug]

Yeah it sounds like what you need is to sit down with a really good counsellor and get all your feelings out and work out how to get back on your feet. Probably the last thing you need at the moment is a puppy, and all the demands a puppy can put on you.

And remember - the psychic may not have been correct about what happened to your dog. You may never know what really happened.

Good luck - I hope you start to feel better soon.

[Starkehre]

bl0nd3y, you are in a very low place right now.

The positive thing is that you recognise this.

Please communicate with your partner about how you feel, and also try to get a network of family and friends to let them know what you are going through. You should not be on your own right now. Just get a friend to pop over for a coffee even. Go for a walk. Make the bed. Just do a couple of small things to get the ball rolling.

Being out of work and sitting at home investing all your eneregy and time into finding your dog is commendable, but not emotionally beneficial to you.

Losing your beloved dog must be very difficult, as it is for all of us. I do understand how painful it is.

Please arrange to get some professional assistance. At the moment it must feel almost impossible to get yourself out of this dark hole you are in. But, trust me, you can. There is a brighter day around the corner for you. You just need some help to find it.

Many people do not know how to help people when they have suicidal thoughts, and mostly they are not expected to know, and this is why professional help is best for you, and very important.

I lost my sister to suicide. Please do not do this.

It will seem like a big effort for you to take the first initial steps to getting help, but once you have done this, things will get better.

Please pick up the phone today.

Edited January 12, 2010 by dyzney

[BooBooBear]

Having recently lost my 12 year old dog to Cancer last year, I know the pain and sadness that comes with not having your best friend there. It is very hard and very sad with what feels like endless tears.

I can only reiterate what others have written and suggest that you need to see your GP as soon as possible to discuss your feelings. You definitely need some professional help and guidance through this difficult time.

[je33ie]

Losing a pet is such a difficult time, especially when you two were so close. I lost my special girl in July last year and at the time I was having similar thoughts to you. I saw a counsellor and it really helped!

I know it might not seem like it right now, but time does make things better. Give yourself time to grieve, don't make any major life decisions, and ask for support from people around you. When you are ready, you will find another dog to give all your love to (as I have with my new foster girl Zulu).

If she has gone to a home as a Christmas present, she might be having the time of her life. Try to look at the positive: she might be seeing this all as a great holiday!

I hope everything works out for you!!

[fattima]

It is a terrible thing that has happened to you, a truly heartbreaking experience. As others have mentioned please get some counseling. If you can't get to a GP easily for whatever reason you can call lifeline on 13 11 14 and they can offer assistance.

Please hang in there because things do get better, they really do.

[Nekhbet]

So sorry Bl0ndy

The best thing to do is contact all vet clinics within a wide range, send a poster (fax or email is good too) and if she is microchipped they will scan or call you if they suspect it is your dog

I would also call the microchip company and put an alert on her that she is stolen. Posters are better up in shop windows where they cannot be ripped down too, maybe it is the council pulling down the posters as most do not allow them on poles etc

It sounds bad but you have to give it time. If she's not in the pound she probably has a decent home (allbeit a theiving one!) take care of yourself first though, it is very very hard I know what you're going through but giving up is not the right thing to do

[bl0nd3y]

Thanks everyone- yes i did post about getting a puppie...i went and had a look at some yesterday, and instead of the excitment of getting a puppy when the gorgeous creature licked me on the cheek-all i could think about was how guilty i felt for evan thinking about replacing my dog.

Im going to stay with a friend for a few nights, so im not alone. Thanks for your comments and concerns, alot of the words and posts have made me realize its a common feeling of hurt to have, and i just have to toughen up. I still would do anything to catch the person who stole her- but chances of that are slim.

Once again thank-you for the strong words of encouragment to heal.... God bless ya

[persephone]

Hi-

there is no way you should feel guilt at getting a new pup- If your dog could think as we do, I am sure she would want you to be happy and have a friend!

As said- email/fax vets..send photos to vets/schools,etc..... even the local paper!

It's good you have a friend with whom you can stay - it will help to have someone else to talk with

Take care, and good luck in your search .

[poodlefan]

I'll ask the first question I generally ask owners of missing dogs:

How do you know she was stolen? Is it at all possible she got out?

[Kelly_Louise]

I'm very sorry for your loss - and hope that some day soon Kahlua finds her way back to you. There are some great tips here - I especially think that perhaps getting her some coverage with pictures in some local area papers would be helpful - as well as asking service stations/shops/vets etc if you can put up some posters in their windows (so people won't be inclined to take them down - we have the same problem in our area with people ripping down signs in public places where they have access).

Perhaps, if you have no luck but would still like to have a furry friend, and when you are feeling better and stronger - you might like to think about adopting a rescue dog? It might help with your feelings of guilt over 'replacing' Kahlua if you believe you are doing a good deed to give something back and helping to save a life? A good rescue organisation can work with you to help match you with a dog that will suit your needs too.

Just a thought - but let's just hope that Kahlua is found or returned to you soon. Don't give up hope. Some dogs have been missing for weeks or months before coming home. It is okay to move on though when you feel ready. There is no shame or guilt in it, you have tried your best to find Kahlua, and I'm sure will keep doing so.

Is Kahlua microchipped with your current details?

[Longclaw]

This thread lists some really good resources on finding a lost/stolen dog.

The feelings of grief at losing a loved pet are common, yes, but that doesn't mean it should hurt less. I hope there is some comfort though, in knowing that others understand how you feel. And I hope you find her soon.

[BooBooBear]

I'm so glad you are going to stay with a friend, that will help having that support

There is no need to 'toughen up' when you lose someone or a pet, you just have to work through the emotions and let yourself grieve because that is what you are experiencing - grief. It truly is like losing a family member when you lose a truly beautiful pet and it feels like you can't imagine life without them, I know this feeling so well. It's so ok for you to cry and to feel those emotions.

I too have felt that 'guilt' of the thought of replacing my angel with fur and cried a lot over this. However, I know I could never ever replace him, he was so special and so unique and there will never be another one like him. This doesn't mean that I can't love another puppy and my new little boy is arriving with me in just over a week (excitement overload ). When the time is right for you I'm sure you will open your heart again to a new special dog.

Just sending you lots of healing wishes and also hoping that perhaps your little girl might still be found.