Do You Assume Your Dog Is An Invited Guest?

[Agility Dogs]

Or is that just me????

Incredibly rude on their part. We take our dogs everywhere we can, but if we have been invited to a friend or relative's place we still ask if it is OK. Most invites to our place come with a request not to bring dogs - just too much hassle to supervise dogs you aren't 100% sure get on with yours unless that is the purpose of the get together.

[tdierikx]

Funnily enough, my dogs are the ones that get the invites to come over for dinner... I'm just their chauffeur... lol!

Seriously though - what person in their right mind brings a dog to a get together without an express invite to bring the dog in question?

T.

[Guest bigdogg]

Immediate family is fine

although saying that - mine are all outside dogs.

Im pretty blunt with peoples dogs - if its misbehaving and the owners are not responding to it - then the dog will be locked up or they will be asked to leave.

I spend too much time with my dogs to let irresponsible owners dogs corrupt mine.

If i go anywhere - my dogs are kept in the cage on the ute until the invitation of letting the dogs out is given.

[Ceilidh]

Am I being mean or rude by not liking my invited dinner guests to bring their dogs?

We have a particular friend who we socialise with. Both having young families, we find it nice to get together at alternate homes and this years we have new years here. Nice and laid back but given the horrid heat here in Vic today we are pretty much staying indoors.

Now here's the catch. They just assume their 9 month old pup. And I have issues

He is not housetrained so you need to watch him like a hawk. He has no matters (he jumps up, he playfully nips, he is allowed all over the furniture). All of these things I don't let my dog (past or future) do. We don't like animals on our furniture, our dogs have always had beds which is there sitting place and they always seem happy.

But I'm a bit annoyed because I feel rude in calling her to say that perhaps the dog is best left at home but I don't think that I should have to do that - I think that common sense says that when you go to someone's house you leave your dogs at home.

Or is that just me????

How did it go? Did you tell her not to bring the dog? Did she come without it?

[colliehound]

Quite amazing.

I think it must be this time of year - as there is a thread going on a child free forum about uninvited children.

I think kids or dogs, both need to be expressly invited or you can assume they are NOT invited. It is just a common courtesy. Not everyone likes either.

I think it is your house / your rules.

We regularly have LOTS of dogs here with thier owners, (chauffers I think someone said?? ha ha) - but even though it is a regular thing, my friends still double check before bringing.

We have tiled floors throughout and pooch friendly furniture, but friends still offer to mop before they leave and tell the pooches to get off the furniture unless I say - its ok.

We have a NO feeding unless in kennels rule. Everyone respects that. New comers are warned that it is a MAJOR no no to feed tid bits.

We always warn human visitors that there will be an average of 8-10 dogs here when they visit. It allows them to make thier own decisions on whether to attend. I never lock up my dogs. It is thier house and the dogs don't understand and it just creates stress for me and stress for them.

We never ever have children here. It is a FIRM rule for all. Our house, land, dam, pool, dogs, furniture, patience and tolerance are not set up for children and our friends respect that too. It is all about respecting your FRIENDS and "while in Rome"............

I would never presume my dogs are invited, and even where they expressly are invited, I will make a call at each house as to whether they come off lead or not.

Where are good old fashioned manners??

Colliehound

[cavmad]

I think it's only good manners to ask first weather it's ok to take your dog/s to someone's place !

The only place where we would take our Cavs unannounced is either of our parent places.

Same here. We always take our cavs to our parents place but not really to anyone elses. Its too stressful for me, if they have kids or an unsecure yard or whatever. They are happier at home and so am I. They get out enough on trips to the beach and daily walks etc.

[Akayla]

Im a bit shocked that kids arent welcome without an invite! Its a bit different to a dog that CAN handle being on it own no matter what age. A 2 yr old cant be left in their room alone and I dont think (even though some of us love our dogs like children) that it can be compared.

No way would I take my daughter say to a house where there will be lots of unknown dogs walking around but then as a single mum I just wouldnt go at all.

I have a few friends that we take the dogs to - but thats usually the reason we visit for play dates but with family since many dont own dogs I would ask. My mum of course being exempt because I know the dogs there are ok with it and so is mum. But again I think it comes down to bad manners - if your dog is uncontrollable and a nuisance why bring it? Only stressful for everyone involved.

Edited December 31, 2009 by Shadow walker

[corrie]

Im a bit shocked that kids arent welcome without an invite! Its a bit different to a dog that CAN handle being on it own no matter what age. A 2 yr old cant be left in their room alone and I dont think (even though some of us love our dogs like children) that it can be compared.

No way would I take my daughter say to a house where there will be lots of unknown dogs walking around but then as a single mum I just wouldnt go at all.

I think if there are quite a few dogs running around then it is only sensible that kids arent welcome unless invited.

[Cairo1]

It's rude! There was a time when people used to do that to me but I got so annoyed with visiting dogs weeing everywhere (and thus upping the ante for the boys I had at the time), that I had to say 'no more'! My dogs were very sociable and these liberties were taken for granted. . . . Nowadays I invite people to bring dogs but only if the occasion warrants it.

Having said that! I also don't have any children and I find it a bit rude that some of my friends turn up with children when it is clearly an adult function. My house is dog proof but not child proof and my dogs are certainly not child proof. I find that situation very stressful because I haven't as yet had the courage to say 'Ahem, sorry but this is an adults only function'. At least with visiting dogs all you have to provide is a bucket of water But with children it's toys and nibbles and cordial. . . . . .

Dogs? Children? Dogs? Children? Hmmmmm, I tend to think 'dogs' at this point!

Of course I mean no offense to those with children! Those that have dogs AND children can be much more sensitive to other peoples' feelings.

I still say it's rude to assume dogs and kids are welcome - it would be far better to check and see if it would be an appropriate.

There! That is my beef for 2010

Happy New Year Everyone!!

Cairo1

[NZVizsla]

I just thought I'd add that children are more than welcome here, just that I need warning as my older boy is a nervous nelly with kids.

Really, getting a visitor is a treat (for me) so I will be reasonable when needed.

[Guest bigdogg]

if kids are misbehaved they get locked in the cage too.. lol

[Akayla]

So I assume then this goes for husbands and boyfriends too? Not welcome unless specified?

My friends wouldnt be so rude as to assume I had to ask permission to take my family out every time I had a social life! But then I guess they also know I get to go out by myself maybe once in six months. My daughter is young but Im on top of her every minute and its MY decision as her mother to judge dangerous situations like going to a home where there are so many dogs or was some how unsafe. I dont let my daughter run around and touch stuff so I dont see the problem with the gneral house hold.

If my friends want to do something special they know I need alot of notice just to find a babysitter and would ask me ein advance if I minded.

With dogs its different they can stay at home safely with no worries. When I need to or want to I ask the host, but children are apart of your life 24/7 till they are old enough.

If they dont want kids coming at all then they dont get me coming at all - its not even a choice but if it was I still wouldnt go because they cant expect me to be a mind reader or dump my kids all alone.

[JudyG]

I would never take my dogs to friends houses, apart from my puppy who I didn't want to leave for long periods. One time I thought we might be more than three hours so asked if I could take her but I set her pen up in the garden - would never assume she would be allowed inside.

Similarily I wouldn't espcect my friends who have dogs to bring them here either.

[lillim]

if the dog is not toilet trained and ill mannered, I think its very rude to automatically expect that its ok.

My grandmother has a 13 year old cattle dog with arthritis and cateracts, who is very dog aggresive,especially with dogs that enter her house. My aunty thought insists on bringing her dog everytime she visits and expects the cattle dog to be locked up in a room, while her dog romps around the house and plays zoomies in the yard. It annoys me no end

as for children ,I think it depends on age and how they behave and how much control and boundaries the parents have over their children (the ones that are old enought to know better)

[Teebs]

If they dont want kids coming at all then they dont get me coming at all - its not even a choice but if it was I still wouldnt go because they cant expect me to be a mind reader or dump my kids all alone.

Couldnt agree more!

My house isnt child proof, but i know when i ask my best friend to visit, that the kids will be there with her, i wouldnt dream of telling her to come, but the kids have to go elsewhere!

I do believe it is different if it was a party, or a wedding or something like that, but just for a visit, my friend would tell me to F off if i told her her children were not welcome in my house.

Edited January 1, 2010 by Teebs

[colliehound]

If they dont want kids coming at all then they dont get me coming at all - its not even a choice but if it was I still wouldnt go because they cant expect me to be a mind reader or dump my kids all alone.

Couldnt agree more!

My house isnt child proof, but i know when i ask my best friend to visit, that the kids will be there with her, i wouldnt dream of telling her to come, but the kids have to go elsewhere!

I do believe it is different if it was a party, or a wedding or something like that, but just for a visit, my friend would tell me to F off if i told her her children were not welcome in my house.

I don't disagree with you either - close friends do come as a package and you know that when you invite them their "nearest and dearest" will come too - be it kids, dogs or other. That is a choice you make when you extend the invitation (or not).

Definately parties, weddings etc are a "clarify" situation.

I also think we tend to surround ourselves with friends who are largely similar in outlooks and beliefs - so tends not to be a problem in most situations.

It doesn't suit us to have kids here - that is ok - no offense meant to anyone - just not our thing - our solution is to meet friends with kids at cafes, parks or thier home. No biggie.

My main point was each person can have thier own rules in thier own home. That shouldn't offend anyone - it IS thier home. Be it about kids, dogs, shoes on/off at the door, swearing, food choices (I have a friend who will not allow ANY animal product in her house), must call ahead, drop in unannounced, etc etc.

It is our differences that make us interesting.

Live and let live.

Colliehound.

[newfsie]

I would never bring Gypsy to anyones house without express permission first, and even then it's only happened once when we went to a frinds house for a big night and were planning to spend the next day with them too, and only because they lived too far away to quickly run home and let gyps out for the toilet and feed her. She stayed outside the whole time and on a teather because their yard wasn't dog proof.

I'm the only one of our friends who has a dog so i don't have to worry about anyone wanting to bring a dog here.

We do live at least half an hour away from our friends.....We are rural, hence the fire worries at this time of the year

[Ravyk]

I like to take my dogs everywhere, but I will always ask first and I won't be offended if people say no. It is their house, their rules.

[sas]

Am I being mean or rude by not liking my invited dinner guests to bring their dogs?

We have a particular friend who we socialise with. Both having young families, we find it nice to get together at alternate homes and this years we have new years here. Nice and laid back but given the horrid heat here in Vic today we are pretty much staying indoors.

Now here's the catch. They just assume their 9 month old pup. And I have issues

He is not housetrained so you need to watch him like a hawk. He has no matters (he jumps up, he playfully nips, he is allowed all over the furniture). All of these things I don't let my dog (past or future) do. We don't like animals on our furniture, our dogs have always had beds which is there sitting place and they always seem happy.

But I'm a bit annoyed because I feel rude in calling her to say that perhaps the dog is best left at home but I don't think that I should have to do that - I think that common sense says that when you go to someone's house you leave your dogs at home.

Or is that just me????

I'd be pissed if anyone brought their dog into my home without checking prior.

As for the kids comments....kids are humans and dogs are dogs, don't compare....there is no comparison.

Edited January 1, 2010 by sas

[WoofnHoof]

As for the kids comments....kids are humans and dogs are dogs, don't compare....there is no comparison.

You can feel however you want about kids but if I don't want other people's kids coming over I have just as much right to say so as if I didn't want other people's dogs coming over. The situations are actually quite comparable.