Separation Anxiety

[spottychick]

When you talk about your dog, you talk about her using human emotions, I think it would be a really good ideal to have a Behaviourist come and look at the realtionship you have with your dog and advise you from there

Um.....

I'm really REALLY happy with my relationship with my dog as it is - thanks anyway

Even the slightly hysterical reaction to me leaving isn't really a big concern for me - I only mentioned it because the OP wanted feedback and wasn't getting much. I'm sure with a little patience and work from me she'll get past any of that minor issue just as my other dogs have got past issues they've had in the past.

I called a behaviourist only once - he was very helpful but the issue at that time was much more serious, involving aggressive behaviour. In this case she is otherwise a well-adjusted, good-natured and popular dog so I'm not at all concerned about her.

Edited December 30, 2009 by spottychick

[aspenleaf]

Thanks for the feedback guys. I really appreciate it.

I found the Jan Fennel DVD (that my behaviorist recommended) fabulous. I also purchased 'I'll be home soon' by Patricia McConnell (I think recommended by persephone in a previous thread? and watching 50 billion episodes of Cesar Milan...hehe.

Anyhow, we were all out for over two hours this arvo, on the way home, I parked around the corner, snuck up to the house and heard nothing coming from the backyard. Such huge progress. I really hope that she eventually ends up calm and content when we are all absent from the house.

Have a safe evening tomorrow. I know I'll be in bed at 8:30pm. Could my life be anymore exciting. I can't even manage to stay up to watch the 9pm fireworks. LOSER...with a capital ELL!

xox.

[spottychick]

LOL Berry! Well have a good NYE anyway. Mine will be completely taken up with settling in a new dog I imagine. Fancy arranging to pick up an adoptee on NYE of all days hee hee I didn't even think about it - all I was thinking was "Thursday".

Cheers

[Czara]

Nothing 'genetic' about it, easily cured with common sense and TLC, and no need for 'doggy shrinks' or complex theories!

I worry who you're spouting this kind of mis-information too. I'm sorry but you don't have enough education of animal behavioural science from that comment.

Ditto, I also worry about some of the the very opinionated people on this forum, and who their mis-information is being promulgated to. Forums are an avenue for airing differences of opinion. I wonder, since we've never met, what you are basing your personal insults on?

[spottychick]

God I'm hopeless at posting. I'm trying to figure out how to quote a certain line and then comment on it. What is a 'fast reply'? Nothing happens when I click on it.

My behaviourist offered this week but my OH is away OS until 15 January and the behaviourist would like to see how the whole family interact with her.

Hi again

Re the "fast reply" - you probably don't realise but the fast reply box will open at the bottom of the screen. You might need to scroll down to find it. The rest of the screen doesn't change when you press it, the box just opens at the bottom.

To quote a specific line you just need to use the quote feature and then cut out the text you don't want - and you can add in another line later by using the [ quote ]put quoted text in here[ /quote ] symbols (without spaces) at the beginning and end of the quote.

Or you can just copy and paste the text bits and use the "wrap in quotes" button at the top (not when you're in fast reply tho) - that's the button second from the right with the thing that looks a bit like a cloud but is in fact a quote bubble.

BTW I wouldn't worry too much about waiting a couple of weeks to have the behavourist check on things. Sounds like whatever it is you're dealing with isn't doing too much harm and you've already got lots of strategies underway to work on it. Hopefully by the time the behaviourist sees you next you'll be able to see if it's working and go from there. Congrats on being willing to put in the effort and time!!! It'll be worth it I reckon.

It's important not to stress too much about it all or make it more complex than it needs to be. Just take it one step at a time.

Edited December 30, 2009 by spottychick

[aspenleaf]

BTW I wouldn't worry too much about waiting a couple of weeks to have the behavourist check on things. Sounds like whatever it is you're dealing with isn't doing too much harm and you've already got lots of strategies underway to work on it. Hopefully by the time the behaviourist sees you next you'll be able to see if it's working and go from there. Congrats on being willing to put in the effort and time!!! It'll be worth it I reckon.

It's important not to stress too much about it all or make it more complex than it needs to be. Just take it one step at a time.

This better work..

Thanks for the lesson spottychick.

Yeah, it's certainly not a serious case and it's improving. I'm hoping that Tessa is even better by the time the behaviourist is due to come that I may not even need a person/dog/person consult.

You know, even if I didn't have this issue, I think that the leadership thing is important anyway. I enjoy the exercise so much, the training and the bonding. I couldn't imagine a life without a dog. I tried that and it just doesn't feel natural to me.

You are also very right about not making it more complex that it needs to be. That's exactly what my behaviourist says I do. I'm alot of the problem.

Thanks for the help

[spottychick]

Yay - you did it!!

[all that glitters]

My shepherd is vocal when we leave, she was terrible as a pup but the neighbors said she got to the stage where she made no noise on some mornings when we left. She never destroys or wrecks the house in any way at all.

OH has a month off work which started a week before Christmas and he has been leaving her for little 2 or 3 hour intervals so she doesn't forget how to be alone, but this morning when we both went to leave together, she left her food bowl and ran up to the sliding door as I was shutting it (shes NEVER done this before!!) then ran outside and was yelping and barking at the gate as we drove off. Very VERY VERY distressing for me!! She usually doesnt cry for more than 5 mins though so I hope she 'got over it' fast. When we got home 3hrs later I got OH to drop me off around the corner and I snuck into the driveway and peeked through the gate and there was no sound at all and she wasn't in the backyard, she was asleep in her bed inside. And even when I came inside noisily and opened her door (she usually bashes on the door and cries loudly when she hears me) she didn't make a peep and didn't seem excited that I WAS home. WTF!!!

So she didn't seem that anxious.... maybe her little drama queen display was just a little protest cos OH HAS been home more lately

I hope she goes back to normal when he goes back to work!

[spottychick]

AWwww bless! Perhaps she just thought you'd accidentally forgotten she wasn't in the car and ran outside to go "Yoo hoo!!!! Here I am!!!! Wait!!!" ;) LOL

Gotta love em!

[Greytmate]

Nothing 'genetic' about it, easily cured with common sense and TLC, and no need for 'doggy shrinks' or complex theories! ;)

I worry who you're spouting this kind of mis-information too. I'm sorry but you don't have enough education of animal behavioural science from that comment.

Ditto, I also worry about some of the the very opinionated people on this forum, and who their mis-information is being promulgated to. Forums are an avenue for airing differences of opinion. I wonder, since we've never met, what you are basing your personal insults on?

Your 'opinions' show us that you are ignorant about dog behaviour. Nothing personal. Genetics play a major role in determining a dog's potential for anxiety. That is why good breeders select for solid temperament.

Not all damaged dogs can be fixed, whether TLC and common sense is used or not. That isn't opinion, that is fact.

I have a problem with misinformation being used to discourage people from seeking help when they need it, as you have done in this thread. It is important that people understand that some dogs cannot be cured with common sense and TLC. Whatever it is that you think that is.

[aspenleaf]

ShellandShyla - I think that is a potential problem for our situation because we're home so much. Sometimes someone will be here for days on end, then when we all go out, I swear Tessa is worse. I know that I'm an anxious person so my energy doesn't help. I try not to show it but perhaps Tessa can sense it.

It's so hard because when my OH is not travelling, he's home all the time, he doesn't venture out much. I'm also not out all the time, just for 2-3 hours or zipping kids around locally.

Also, Tessa is worse when it's raining. She has plenty of undercover areas but of course she chooses to sit out in the rain and wait for us to come home.

Sometimes I do feel that she's not fixable, that something is just not right 'upstairs' but I am trying very hard to sort it out. Maybe I'm just trying too bloody hard.

[Greytmate]

Sometimes I do feel that she's not fixable, that something is just not right 'upstairs' but I am trying very hard to sort it out. Maybe I'm just trying too bloody hard.

Don't look at it in terms of 'fixable' or 'not fixable'. Instead see it is a problem that you will reduce with the help of a behaviourist. Sometimes problems are fixed with management as well as training, as it isn't always possible to change aspects of a dog's behaviour. No dog is 100% perfect upstairs in the same way that all people have slight flaws too. Some are much harder to live with than others.

It is only when you hit the walll of what you are able to do for the dog that it becomes an issue. You haven't reached anywhere near that yet.

So keep trying, but don't expect miracles.

[aspenleaf]

Thanks Greytmate, you are right. That's very encouraging. I guess that I always intended on having two dogs and I just don't think that it's ever going to happen because I believe that I'll just 'reduce' Tessa's behaviour but not enough to have another dog.

I always thought that maybe adopting a mature pair would be ideal but then saw Fattima's thread and that scared the crap out of me.

[percyk]

the first dog we had with sep anxiety was a cocker

didnt start that way but once i was on maternity leave i guess she got used to me being home and her coming with me in the car or whatever to pick up the older kids

so once i went back to work the neighbours told me she was howling

the vet suggested pills but then said i could just let her come inside

we did that and there was no more howling

she simply went to sleep under the table and was as good as gold

( wed check on her by sneaking back and peering in the windows to see what she was doing...certainly no noise and no damage)

we have a dog here who is anxious...he sticks close to us wherever we go..and follows me from room to room

he also cried when left even though he had the company of other dogs

it took a few months for him to stop

he just learned the routine and now can tell the difference between weekends and holidays and the usual workday routines

he makes no fuss whatsover when we leave for work and school

we did no training with him...since he was inside we figured the neighbours couldnt hear him crying anyway and there have been no complaints

we took the easy route and had our dogs inside...but theres also my fear of having the little ones stolen( something that happened to my colleague )

and im sure some people simply wont have their dogs inside

it works for us beautifully and they are happy as far as we can tell to have the run of the family room and rumpus

we do not ever walk our dogs before work either...but they still seem to sleep right through til the time of our return...just as they are doing right now!

good luck

i dont know what gives the dog the predisposition to be anxious..i guess some breeds that are more independent like sighthounds can be left easily and some breeds that are companions or workers need human company

[aspenleaf]

the first dog we had with sep anxiety was a cocker

didnt start that way but once i was on maternity leave i guess she got used to me being home and her coming with me in the car or whatever to pick up the older kids

so once i went back to work the neighbours told me she was howling

the vet suggested pills but then said i could just let her come inside

we did that and there was no more howling

she simply went to sleep under the table and was as good as gold

( wed check on her by sneaking back and peering in the windows to see what she was doing...certainly no noise and no damage)

we have a dog here who is anxious...he sticks close to us wherever we go..and follows me from room to room

he also cried when left even though he had the company of other dogs

it took a few months for him to stop

he just learned the routine and now can tell the difference between weekends and holidays and the usual workday routines

he makes no fuss whatsover when we leave for work and school

we did no training with him...since he was inside we figured the neighbours couldnt hear him crying anyway and there have been no complaints

we took the easy route and had our dogs inside...but theres also my fear of having the little ones stolen( something that happened to my colleague )

and im sure some people simply wont have their dogs inside

it works for us beautifully and they are happy as far as we can tell to have the run of the family room and rumpus

we do not ever walk our dogs before work either...but they still seem to sleep right through til the time of our return...just as they are doing right now!

good luck

i dont know what gives the dog the predisposition to be anxious..i guess some breeds that are more independent like sighthounds can be left easily and some breeds that are companions or workers need human company

That's really interesting percyk. I like reading all these stories.

I have left her inside twice while I'm out. She cracked our cedar blinds and the second time she weed in one of the bedrooms, so we've left her outside when we're out. She's inside alot when we are home. As she's 37kg, one swipe of the paw and she can do some damage to a screen etc.

[Czara]

Your 'opinions' show us that you are ignorant about dog behaviour. Nothing personal.

Greymate, my posts are based on my personal experiences with dogs over many decades. Not sure what your "opinions' are based on.

Yep - personal insults ARE personal happy new year, and have a good life to you too

[Greytmate]

Your 'opinions' show us that you are ignorant about dog behaviour. Nothing personal.

Greymate, my posts are based on my personal experiences with dogs over many decades. Not sure what your "opinions' are based on.

Yep - personal insults ARE personal happy new year, and have a good life to you too

My opinions are based on working with hundreds of dogs and preparing them for rehoming, as well as the small number of dogs I have personally owned. They are also based on information provided by reputable sources.

You say that temperament isn't influenced by genetics. That may be because in your experience you haven't personally seen evidence of that. Rather than by observing, asking questions and learning how temperament is influenced by genetics, you simply refuse to acknowledge the possibility. That is ignorance.

You say that TLC and common sense will fix all behaviour problems. Maybe in your limited experience all problems have been solved in this way. Some of us have found problems that are not so easily fixed. It is insulting to suggest that TLC could have worked when it hasn't, and that failure to fix a dog's problems would be due to a lack of common sense or loving care. Most of us would want to learn more about people's experiences in solving severe problems in dogs, rather than remaining ignorant.

This isn't the only thread where you have made ignorant and dangerous suggestions, yet when people pull you up on it you accuse them of being personal. Try to understand it is what you say that needs to be corrected, none of us know anything about you or about each other. It isn't personal. Stop trying to diagnose serious behaviour problems over the internet and you will find that people will leave you alone.